Quotes for
Ben Jahrvi (Character)
from Short Circuit (1986)

Short Circuit (1986)

Ben Jabituya: I am thinking she is a virgin. Or at least she used to be.

Ben Jabituya: With excitement like this, who is needing enemas?

Newton Crosby: Where are you from, anyway?
Ben Jabituya: Bakersfield, originally.
Newton Crosby: No, I mean your ancestors.
Ben Jabituya: Oh, them. Pittsburgh.

Ben Jabituya: Newton, we are wasting valueless time here.

Ben Jabituya: I don't know about you, but I am planning to scream and run.

Ben Jabituya: I am standing here beside myself.

Ben Jabituya: Ooh. Her pants are blazing for you, Newton Crosby.
Newton Crosby: Will you grow up?

Ben Jabituya: I am sporting a tremendous woody.

Duke: Will he kill me if I stop?
Ben Jabituya: Who is to say?
Duke: Will he kill me if I don't stop?
Ben Jabituya: Again I am shrugging.
Duke: I'm stopping.
Ben Jabituya: Good choice.

Howard Marner: What if it goes out and melts down a bus load of nuns? How would you like to write the headline on that one?
Benjamin Jabituya: Nun soup?

Benjamin Jabituya: Who is knowing how to read the mind of a robot?

Ben Jabituya: Did she stick her tongue down your throat?

Howard Marner: Hey! Who told you you could take Number One?
Newton Crosby: Howard, logically, if we need protection from Number Five - this is the best weapon we could have.
Howard Marner: Great. Great. So, instead of 11 million dollars on the loose - we're gonna have twenty-two.
Ben Jabituya: And plus, we are needing gas money.

Ben Jabituya: I have seen some strange, bizarre drivers, but you. You will be awarded a cake.

Howard Marner: Don't tell me its laser is still armed.
Ben Jabituya: Bimbo.

Ben Jabituya: Bye-bye, goofy woman. I enjoyed repeatedly throwing you to the ground.

Newton Crosby: Can you believe it's been five years since I've driven?
Ben Jabituya: I would say ten.

Howard Marner: Where is he? I need him! Stat!
Ben Jabituya: Excuse me, sir. Crosby - is hidin' in the toilet, sir.
Howard Marner: Public relations is everybody's job.
Ben Jabituya: He's sayin' that the crowds there are making him dogsick, sir...
Howard Marner: Look, he's supposed to be here, I want him here, I *pay* him to be here.
Ben Jabituya: The last time I'm seein' him, he is busy womiting, sir.
Howard Marner: Well, clean him up and send him out to hobnob. Stat!

Newton Crosby: [makes a computer hand show its middle finger to Ben and chuckles very smugly]
Ben Jabituya: Is that a 'yes' or the number of your intelligence quotient, uh?

Skroeder: Maybe it's pissed off.
Newton Crosby: It's a machine, Schroeder. It doesn't get pissed off, it doesn't get happy, it doesn't get sad, it doesn't laugh at your jokes...
Newton Crosby, Ben Jabituya: ...IT JUST RUNS PROGRAMS!

Ben Jabituya: Newton, you know what is out there in the great outdoors? Girls. Mmmmm! With brassieres and legs - mmm. You have a working knowledge of girls?
Newton Crosby: No, but I read about 'em.
Ben Jabituya: Oh, then... maybe I can furnish you with some schematic drawings?

Ben Jabituya: Oh, bull dyke! You cannot hold your water with that story, girl.

Stephanie Speck: [about the SAINT robots] So - what are these guys used for, anyway?
Ben Jabituya: It's top-secret crap.
Stephanie Speck: That's what I figured.

Stephanie Speck: ...Where're you taking him?
Ben Jabituya: This is not being a HIM. It's only being wires and several mechanisms and other such machine-type apparatus, for the Pete of sake - the sate of Peeckle...

Ben Jabituya: So now I am having no job to speak about. I will have to smack the sidewalk.

Ben Jabituya: [noticing that Newton is having a hard time driving through the semi-dark streets of town] Do you know what most people are liking at night?
Newton Crosby: No, what?
Ben Jabituya: Headlights.
[reaches across the dashboard and switches the lights on]
Newton Crosby: Oh, yeah... that's a lot better! Thanks!

Number 5: Benjamin Jabituya, delete.
Benjamin Jabituya: No, wait! Rethink yourself!
Number 5: Exit. Depart. Leave.
Benjamin Jabituya: Feel my dust, Newton Crosby. Let us break wind.
[leaves]
Number 5: Newton Crosby, no run, no talk, drive.
[Crosby stalls]
Number 5: Today Crosby! Today!

Ben Jabituya: [just before he and Crosby go to meet with the public] Please wait for me. I need to go and use the jack.
Newton Crosby: It's the "john."

Ben Jabituya: Looks like you have created another Frankfurter's monster.

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