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: [listening to caller on phone
] Ah, would you hold on, please?
[Walks over to locked door, rattling the knob and banging on door
: Let me outta here! Let me outta here! You have no right to shut me in! I'll book you for false arrest, and wrongful imprisonment, and obstructing an officer in the course of his duty... and MURDER! Wadsworth
: [Wadsworth opens the door, feigning innocence, while other guests gather around
] What do you mean... murder? Cop
: I just said it so you would open the door.
[other guests laugh
: What's going on around here? And why would you lock me in? And why are you receiving phone calls from J. Edgar Hoover? Wadsworth
: J. Edgar Hoover? Cop
: That's right! The head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation! Colonel Mustard
: Why is J. Edgar Hoover on your phone? Wadsworth
: I don't know, he's on everybody else's, why shouldn't he be on mine?
: You all seem to be very anxious about something. Wadsworth
: It's the chandelier. It fell down, almost killed us.
: I can explain everything. Cop
: You don't have to. Wadsworth
: I don't? Cop
: Don't worry, there's nothing illegal about any of this. Wadsworth
: Are you sure? Cop
: Of course, this is America. Wadsworth
: I see. Cop
: It's a free country, don't you know that? Wadsworth
: I didn't know it was *that* free.
: Uh, can I come in and use your phone? Wadsworth
: Of course you may, sir! You may use the one in the, um... no. Uh, you could use the one in the stud... no. Uh, uh, would you be kind enough to wait in the, um, in-in the, um, uh library?
[Cop sniffs the motorist, who is dead
: This man's drunk. Dead drunk. Miss Scarlet
: Dead right! Cop
: [to the motorist
] You're not gonna drive home, are you? Professor Plum
: He won't be driving home, officer, I promise you that! Miss Scarlet
: No. Cop
: Somebody will give him a lift, huh? Miss Scarlet
: Oh, we'll- we'll- we'll get him a car! Professor Plum
: A long black car! Miss Scarlet
: [lightly jabbing him in the stomach
] A limousine!
: What's going on in those two rooms? Mr. Green
: Uhh... which two rooms? Cop
: *Those* two rooms. Mr. Green
: Ohhh, those two rooms. Cop
: Yes. Mr. Green
: Ahh... well. Officer! I don't think you should go in there. Cop
: Why not? Mr. Green
: Uhh... Because it's all too shocking!