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Quotes for
Mr. Green (Character)
from Clue (1985)

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Clue (1985)
Mr. Green: Well, where is he?
[Miss Scarlet screams as the freezer door opens and Wadsworth falls out. Mr. Green catches Wadsworth, then drops him disgustedly]

Mrs. White: [after Mrs. Peacock swears that the reason she's being blackmailed is a vicious lie] Well, I am willing to believe you. I, too, am being blackmailed for something I didn't do.
Mr. Green: Me too.
Colonel Mustard: And me.
Miss Scarlet: Not me.
Wadsworth: [surprised] You're *not* being blackmailed?
Miss Scarlet: Oh, I'm being blackmailed all right, but I did what I'm being blackmailed for.
Mr. Green: What did you do?
Miss Scarlet: Well, to be perfectly frank, I run a specialized hotel and a telephone service which provides gentlemen with the company of a young lady, for a short while.
Professor Plum: Oh yeah?
[pulls out pen and a pad of paper]
Professor Plum: What's the phone number?

Wadsworth: You see? Like the Mounties, we always get our man.
Mr. Green: Mrs. Peacock was a man?
[Colonel Mustard slaps Mr. Green, who turns to get slapped by Wadsworth]

Mr. Green: [after Mrs. White knees Mr. Boddy in the crotch] Was that necessary, Mrs. White?

Mr. Green: [gets up in front of everyone] I have something to say. I'm not going to wait for Wadsworth here to unmask me. I work for the State Department, and I'm a homosexual.
Mr. Green: I feel no personal shame or guilt about this, but I must keep it a secret, or I will lose my job on security grounds.
Mr. Green: Thank you.

Yvette: But it is dark upstairs and I am frightened of the dark. Will anyone go with me?
Professor Plum: I will!
Colonel Mustard: I will!
Mr. Green: No, thank you.

Mrs. Peacock: What are you all staring at?
Mr. Green: Nothing.
Mrs. Peacock: Well who's there?
Colonel Mustard: Nobody.
Mrs. Peacock: What do you mean?
Wadsworth: Nobody. No body, that's what we mean. Mr. Boddy's body, it's gone.
Mrs. White: Maybe he wasn't dead.
Professor Plum: He was!
Mrs. White: We should've made sure.
Mrs. Peacock: How?
Mrs. Peacock: By cutting his head off, I suppose.
Mrs. White: That was uncalled for!

Mr. Green: You're Mr. Boddy!
[Wadsworth laughs evilly]
Professor Plum: Wait a minute. So who did I kill?
Wadsworth: My butler.
Professor Plum: Oh, shucks.
Wadsworth: He was expendable like all of you. I'm grateful to you all for disposing of my network of spies and informers. Saved me a lot of trouble. Now there's no evidence against me.

Professor Plum: [after learning who killed Mr. Boddy, the motorist, the cook, the cop, and Yvette] So it must've been Mr. Green who shot the singing telegram!
Mr. Green: I didn't do it!
Colonel Mustard: Well, there's nobody else left.
Mr. Green: But I didn't do it! The gun is missing! Whoever's got the gun shot the girl!
Wadsworth: [extracts his gun] I shot her.

Mr. Green: [yelling] Will you stop that?
Wadsworth: No.

[from trailer]
Colonel Mustard: Why are you screaming?
Mr. Green: Because I'm frightened!
Colonel Mustard: Of what?
Mr. Green: Screaming!

Mrs. White: You say you are used to being a hostess as part of your husband's work?
Mrs. Peacock: Yes, it's an integral part of your life when you are the wife of a... Oh, but then I forgot, we're not supposed to say who we really are, though, heavens to Betsy, I don't know why.
Colonel Mustard: Don't you?
Mr. Green: I know who you are.
Miss Scarlet: Aren't you gonna tell us?
Mrs. Peacock: How do you know who I am?
Mr. Green: I work in Washington, too.
Professor Plum: Washington? So you're a politician's wife?
Mrs. Peacock: Yes, I-I am.
Colonel Mustard: Well, come on then, who's your husband?

Mr. Green: [dropped a spoon, spilling soup onto Miss Scarlet] I'm sorry. I'm afraid I'm a little bit accident-prone.
[starts to wipe soup off Miss Scarlet]
Miss Scarlet: [raises her hands, making him stop] Ah, watch it!

Professor Plum: [pointing to Mrs. Peacock's drink] Maybe he was poisoned!
[Mrs. Peacock immediately drops her glass full of brandy and starts screaming]
Mr. Green: [trying to get her to the couch] Mrs. Peacock, please. Mrs. Peacock, it's alright. It's alright. We don't know anything. Sit-sit down, sit down, Mrs.-
[slaps her; everybody stares]
Mr. Green: Well, I had to stop her from screaming!

Wadsworth: And monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington D.C.
Mr. Green: Is that what we ate?
[makes a retching sound]

Wadsworth: The key is gone!
Professor Plum: Never mind about the key, unlock the door!
[smacks Mr.Green on the shoulder]
Mr. Green: [grabs Professor Plum by the collar, throttling him] I CAN'T UNLOCK THE DOOR WITHOUT THE KEY!
[releasing Plum, Mr. Green rattles doorknob]
Mr. Green: LET US IN! LET US IN!
Colonel Mustard, Miss Scarlet: [on other side of locked door] LET US OUT! LET US OUT!

Mr. Green: But this is ridiculous. If he were such a patriotic American, why didn't he just report us to the authorities?
Wadsworth: He decided to put his information to good use and make a little money out of it. What could be more American than that?

Mrs. White: How did you get in?
Mr. Green: The door was locked!
Mrs. White: It's a great trick!

[last lines]
Mr. Green: They all did it. But if you wanna know who killed Mr. Boddy, I did. In the hall. With the revolver. Okay, Chief, take 'em away. I'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife.

Mr. Green: Who would wanna kill the cook?
Miss Scarlet: Dinner wasn't that bad.
Colonel Mustard: How can you make jokes at a time like this?
Miss Scarlet: It's my defense mechanism.
Colonel Mustard: Some defense. If I was the killer, I would kill you next.
Miss Scarlet: Oh?
[Everyone looks at Colonel Mustard]
Colonel Mustard: I said, "if". *If*!

Mrs. White: [after Mr. Green shoots Wadsworth] Are you a cop?
Mr. Green: No, I'm a plant.
Miss Scarlet: A plant? I thought men like you were usually called a fruit.
Mr. Green: Very funny. FBI. That phone call from J. Edgar Hoover was for me.
[opens the door]
Mr. Green: Told you I didn't do it!

Mr. Green: Now there's one thing I don't understand.
Professor Plum: *One* thing?

Mr. Green: So it was you. I was going to expose you.
Wadsworth: I know. So I choose to expose myself.
Colonel Mustard: Please, there are ladies present!

[Mr. Boddy has disappeared after being killed]
Mr. Green: He couldn't have been dead.
Professor Plum: He was. At least I thought he was, but what difference does it make now?
Miss Scarlet: Makes quite a difference to him.

Mr. Green: I didn't do it!
Mr. Green: Well, one of us did. We all had an opportunity. We all had a motive.

Wadsworth: Three murders?
Mr. Green: Six altogether.
Wadsworth: This is getting serious.

[Wadsworth reveals a secret passage from the study to the kitchen]
Colonel Mustard: How did you know?
Wadsworth: This house belongs to a friend of mine. I've known all along.
Mr. Green: So you could be the murderer.
Wadsworth: Don't be ridiculous. If I was the murderer, why would I reveal to you how I did it?

[a scream is heard in the locked billiard room]
Professor Plum: It must be the murderer.
Mr. Green: Why would *he* scream?

Cop: What's going on in those two rooms?
Mr. Green: Uhh... which two rooms?
Cop: *Those* two rooms.
Mr. Green: Ohhh, those two rooms.
Cop: Yes.
Mr. Green: Ahh... well. Officer! I don't think you should go in there.
Cop: Why not?
Mr. Green: Uhh... Because it's all too shocking!

Mr. Green: [to Miss Scarlet] So, how did you know Colonel Mustard works in Washington? Is he one of your clients?
Colonel Mustard: Certainly not!
Mr. Green: I was asking Miss Scarlet.
Colonel Mustard: [to Miss Scarlet] Well, you tell him it's not true.
Miss Scarlet: It's not true.
Professor Plum: [to Miss Scarlet] Is that true?
Miss Scarlet: No, it's not true.
Mr. Green: Ah ha! So it is true!
Wadsworth: A double negative!
Colonel Mustard: A double negative?
Colonel Mustard: You mean you have photographs?
Wadsworth: That sounds like a confession to me. In fact the double negative has led to proof positive. I'm afraid you gave yourself away.
Colonel Mustard: [angry, to Wadsworth] Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?
Wadsworth: You don't need any help from me, sir.
Colonel Mustard: That's right!

Wadsworth: Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you.
Mr. Green: You're a bit late for that! I hate it when he does that.
Mrs. White: Ahhh!

Yvette: Go on. I'll be right behind you.
Mr. Green: That's why I'm nervous.

Mr. Green: I have nothing to hide! I didn't do it!

Mrs. White: You've got blood on your hands.
Mr. Green: I DIDN'T DO IT!

Professor Plum: [Mr. Boddy is apparently dead after Mrs. Peacock has turned the lights back on. Professor Plum is knelt down to check if Mr. Boddy is alive] Stand back! Give him air! Let me see.
[Professor Plum checks for a pulse or any sign of breathing]
Professor Plum: He's dead!
Mrs. White: Who had the gun?
Professor Plum: I did.
Mrs. Peacock: Then you shot him.
Professor Plum: I didn't!
Mrs. Peacock: Well, you had the gun; if you didn't shoot him, who did?
Professor Plum: [Professor Plum flips Mr. Boddy over] Nobody! Look, there's no gunshot wound. Somebody tried to grab the gun from me in the dark and the gun went off.
[Professor Plum points to the wall]
Professor Plum: Look, the bullet broke that vase on the mantle.
Colonel Mustard: [the group begins rushing to the spot where the bullet hit and Colonel Mustard bumps into Professor Plum] I'm sorry, excuse me. He's absolutely right. Look, there's a bullet hole here in the wall, see that?
Mr. Green: [In a demanding tone] How did he die?
Professor Plum: [In an aggravated tone] I don't know! I'm not a forensic expert.

Wadsworth: [Walking about the room, collecting all of the weapons] Look, we still have all of these weapons. The gun, the rope, the wrench, the lead pipe. Let's put them all in this cupboard and lock it.
[Picking up the weapons and locking them in the cupboard]
Wadsworth: There's a homicidal maniac about.
[Everyone agrees. Wadsworth puts the key in his pocket]
Mr. Green: What are you doing with the key?
Wadsworth: Putting it in my pocket.
Mr. Green: Why?
Wadsworth: Well, to keep it safe, obviously.
Mrs. Peacock: That means you can open it whenever you want.
Wadsworth: But it also means that you can't.
Mrs. Peacock: Well, what if you're the murderer?
Wadsworth: I'm not.
Colonel Mustard: But what if you are?
Wadsworth: Well, it's got to be put somewhere. If I've got it, I know I'm safe.
Mrs. Peacock: [Expressively; Mrs. Peacock is waving her hand rapidly back and forth, lightly hitting Mrs. White's chest accidentally. Mrs. White reacts with a startled look] We don't know that we are!
[Mrs. Peacock's leaf hat falls off as she gets frustrated with it]
Wadsworth: I've an idea. We'll throw it away.
Colonel Mustard: Good idea!
Mr. Green: Good idea!
Yvette: Wonderful!
Miss Scarlet: Brilliant!
Professor Plum: That'll do it!

Wadsworth: [Wadsworth has just returned inside after throwing the key to the cupboard away] Well, what now?
Mrs. White: Wadsworth, let me out.
Wadsworth: No.
Mrs. White: Why not?
Wadsworth: We've gotta know who did it. We're all in this together now.
Mrs. Peacock: If you leave, I'll say that you killed them both.
Miss Scarlet: Me too.
Mr. Green: Me too.
Colonel Mustard: Me too.
Mrs. White: [Suddenly becoming mysteriously flirtatious] Oh, Wadsworth, I'll make you sorry you ever started this.
[She grabs hold of Wadsworth's tie, rubbing his chest]
Mrs. White: One day, when we're alone together...
Wadsworth: Mrs. White, no man in his right mind would be alone together with you.
Mrs. White: [Letting go of Wadsworth] Oh.

Wadsworth: When I said that I was Mr. Boddy's butler, this was both true and misleading. I was once his butler. But it was not his untimely death this evening that brought my employment with him to an end.
Colonel Mustard: When did it come to an end?
Wadsworth: When my wife decided to end her life. She, too, was being blackmailed by this odious man who now lies dead before us. He hated my wife for the same reason that he hated all of you. He believed that you were all thoroughly un-American.
Mr. Green: [the table which Mr. Green is leaning against breaks, causing a great crashing sound]
Mr. Green: Sorry.
Wadsworth: For some reason, he felt it was inappropriate for a senator to have a corrupt wife; for a doctor to take advantage of his patients; for a wife to emasculate her husband; and, and... so forth.
Mr. Green: But, this is ridiculous; if he was such a patriotic American, why didn't he just report us to the authorities?
Wadsworth: He decided to put his information to good use, and make a little money out of it. What could be more American than that?
Professor Plum: And what was your role in all of this?
Wadsworth: I was a victim, too. At least, my wife was. She had friends who were
[pause, beginning to cry]
Wadsworth: socialists.
[the guests react, Mrs. Peacock loudly gasping]
Wadsworth: Well,
Wadsworth: we all make mistakes.
[Mrs. White comforts him with her handkerchief]
Wadsworth: But Mr. Boddy threatened to give my wife's name to the House Un-American Activities Committee unless she named them. She refused. And so he blackmailed her. We had no money. And the price of his silence was that we work for him for nothing. We were slaves.

Mr. Green: and you'll just, just go on blackmailing us all?
Wadsworth: Of course. Why not?
Mr. Green: Well, I'll tell you why not.
[Green pulls out a gun and shoots him]

"Cluedo: The Bolivian Connection (#2.6)" (1991)
[Mrs. Peacock and Colonel Mustard's wedding ceremony]
Rev. Green: Therefore, if any man can show any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else here after, forever hold his peace.
Jack Peacock: [Stands up] This whole thing's a farce!
Mrs. Peacock: Jack!
[runs away from the isle]
Mrs. Peacock: Oh my God, nooo!

"Cluedo: Murder in Merrie England (#3.4)" (1992)
Miss Scarlett: [playing croquet] That's cheating Reverend Green!
Rev. Green: Oh, I'm so sorry, Miss Scarlett!
Max Gold: A man after my own heart.