El Guapo
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Quotes for
El Guapo (Character)
from ¡Three Amigos! (1986)

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¡Three Amigos! (1986)
El Guapo: Are gringos falling from the sky?
[Ned falls from overhead and lands with a thud]
Jefe: Yes, El Guapo.

Jefe: I have put many beautiful pinatas in the storeroom, each of them filled with little suprises.
El Guapo: Many pinatas?
Jefe: Oh yes, many!
El Guapo: Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?
Jefe: A what?
El Guapo: A *plethora*.
Jefe: Oh yes, you have a plethora.
El Guapo: Jefe, what is a plethora?
Jefe: Why, El Guapo?
El Guapo: Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.
Jefe: Forgive me, El Guapo. I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?

Lucky Day: Not so fast El Guapo! Or I'll pump you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil!
El Guapo: What do you mean?
Lucky Day: I don't know.
Jefe: I think he means that if you...
El Guapo: Shut up!

El Guapo: El Guapo only kills men.
[horse neighs, Three Amigos shuffle nervously]
El Guapo: He does not kill crying women!
[Three Amigos let out a sigh of relief]

El Guapo: Jefe, you do not understand women. You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you.
Jefe: So when do you think Carmen will open up her flower to you?
El Guapo: Tonight, or I will kill her!

Ned Nederlander: Tell us we will die like dogs.
El Guapo: Eh?
Ned Nederlander: Tell us we will die like dogs.
El Guapo: You *will* die like dogs.

[Dusty Bottoms is posing as one of El Guapo's men, and El Guapo is struggling to remember who he is and what they've done together]
El Guapo: Oh-ho, you...
Dusty Bottoms: Jose!
[the bandidos cheer]
El Guapo: Together, we...
Dusty Bottoms: Burned the village!
El Guapo: Burned the village!
[the bandidos cheer]
El Guapo: And, uh...
Dusty Bottoms: [trilling the "r"] ... rrrrrrrrraped de horses!
[the bandidos cheer]
El Guapo: And we...
Dusty Bottoms: Rode off on de wimmin!
El Guapo: Rode off on de wimmin!
[the bandidos cheer, a bit more quietly]
El Guapo: And uh...
Dusty Bottoms: Plundered!
El Guapo: Plundered!
[the bandidos cheer]
El Guapo: And uh...
Dusty Bottoms: Pruned!
El Guapo: ...pruned the, uh...
Dusty Bottoms: Hedges!
El Guapo: ...hedges of...
Dusty Bottoms: Many small villages!

El Guapo: [as he first sees the Three Amigos riding in a circle shooting blanks in the air] I like these guys! They are funny guys!