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: Margaritas always taste better in Mexico. Danny Wright
: They certainly do. Julian Noble
: Margaritas and cock.
: I'm as serious as an erection problem.
: Sorry about the cock thing, it's kind of a conversation stopper.
[trying to convince Danny to help him on a hit
] Julian Noble
: Come on! It'll be a good time! Danny Wright
: Oh, so now killing people is a good time? Julian Noble
: ...Can be.
: [after flirting with some Mexican schoolgirls
] I hate these Catholic countries. It's all blushy-blushy and no sucky-fucky.
: I am a big fan of the "Everybody's got to pee" theory of assassination.
: I look like a Bangkok hooker on a Sunday morning, after the navy's left town.
: I wouldn't do that for all the teenage twat in Thailand.
: Just consider me the best cocktail party story you ever met.
: I need a break. There's no retirement home for assassins is there? Archery at four. Riflery at five.
: Yeah, whatever, goodbye, scoodoodle! Ten Year Old Boy
: See you, would'nt wanna be you. Julian Noble
: Smell ya, shouldn't have to tell ya.
: Danny, Danny! Danny with the large white fanny!
: Mr. Noble, how are you today? Julian Noble
: More importantly, how are you...
[looks at nametag
] Julian Noble
: An assassin without confidence is a horrible thing to behold. It's like a relief pitcher who fumbles the ball. Danny Wright
: Please tell me you know you mixed two sports in a metaphor. Julian Noble
: Huh? Yeah, I can't do that.
: I want to retire to a beautiful little Greek island, filled with beautiful little Greeks!
: I'd only be interested in your mother if she lost 20 pounds and 30 years.
: My handler, Mr. Randy, contacted me the way he always does, through an ad in the International Tribune looking for cat sitters in Bali.
: I lie when I need to, tell the truth when I can.
: Did You bring your gun? Julian Noble
: Yes, as a matter of fact. Bean
: May I see it? Julian Noble
: Really? Bean
: Yes, please.
: Did you study the assignment? Julian Noble
: No, I shredded it. Then I humped the bellboy on the room service cart.
: I didn't mean to weird you out. I was wrong, please. I just get paranoid sometimes. I'm drunk. I'm tired, and I've just been fornicating for the past two hours, and before that I was doing shit - horrible business shit.
: I'm the relief pitcher in the bottom of the ninth... and I've fumbled the ball.
Hotel Bartender 1
: How you here for business or pleasure, sir? Julian Noble
: My business is my pleasure.
: Goddamn it, Julian, you leave the game, even for a while, I don't know if they'll gonna let you back in. And then what the hell are you gonna do? Waste your days picking up illiterate teenagers for suck-and-fuck sessions behind the Old Navy store? Julian Noble
: Sounds delightful to me.
: [discussing possible escape routes
] That door over there, if it weren't locked. Julian Noble
: A Vietnamese girl I once knew had her legs so locked together I couldn't get a whiff of her spring roll. Two drinks, half a quaalude later, I was at an all you can eat buffet. Every lock can be broken. It's just a matter of will and whether it's worth it.
: Now, escape routes. Danny Wright
: Escape routes? Julian Noble
: Well you don't want to get caught right? Danny Wright
: Oh, right. Julian Noble
: Don't get caught. It sucks.