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: Patrick, this is not a gray area. Patrick
: Dad, it's all a gray area. Pastor Skip
: THE BIBLE IS BLACK AND WHITE!
: Mary, you want to go out sometime? Mary
: What? Are you going to take me out on your "scooter"? Patrick
: Come on, I'm like, totally adorable, besides, it would drive Hilary Faye crazy. Mary
: I can't. I'm... not dating right now. Patrick
: What about tomorrow night? Will you be dating then?
: I only got room for one of you. Dean
: I'm the father... Patrick
: I'm the boyfriend... Mitch
: [points to Dean
] I'm HIS boyfriend. Paramedic
: That's nice, but I still only got room for one of you.
: What? Did they send you over so you could strap me onto the back of your scooter? Patrick
: "Scooter"? Mary, this is a Vespa.
: I like you, Mary. I do. God gave us free will, and that day at Hilary Faye's, you weren't afraid to use it. You inspired me. You amaze me, Mary.
: [after Patrick suggests his parents should have divorced
] Because divorce is not part of God's plan. Patrick
: Dad, you need to think of a new plan.
[during the school assembly, Cassandra stands up and begins yelling in Spanish
] Oh my god, the Jew girl's speaking in tongues!
[Cassandra rips open her shirt
: She's going to show her boobs! Thank you Jesus! Patrick
] She is, she's going to show her boobs!
[looking horrified, Hilary Faye stands up at the podium
] Hilary Faye
: She's saying she has a hot pussy!
[the word "pussy" is bleeped out by microphone feedback
: [about her corsage
] I bought both red and yellow, because I didn't know... which... Mary
: But Patrick -
[gestures to her pregnant belly
: Mary? Honestly? It doesn't matter to me.
: Want to get something to eat with us? Patrick
: We're going to DQ. Cassandra
: Why? So we can watch Hilary Faye try to get into your Easter basket? No thanks.
: Come here. Sorry
[as he walks in front of people
: What are you doing, Patrick? Patrick
: I just wanna see what's in here. Mary
: But... Patrick
: No, no, come on. Mary
: No! We're not allowed... Patrick
: Just for a second. Mary
: I don't think we should be in here. Patrick
: Yes, yes we should definitely be in here. Mary