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: Are you okay? Hilary Faye
: No, Roland... I crashed my van into Jesus! Okay? I have a pimple the size of Jupiter! I am NOT okay! This is not how I wanted to remember my Prom. This is not how I wanted to remember my life. Roland
: Well maybe we can fix it... with some glue, or something
: There's only one reason Christian girls comes down to the Planned Parenthood. Roland
: She's planting a pipe bomb? Cassandra
: Okay, two reasons.
: [Roland rolls up to Cassandra, wearing a black shirt with white laces down the middle
] What are you supposed to be? Roland
: A roller skate.
: You have everything, Hillary Faye. What are you afraid of?
[during the school assembly, Cassandra stands up and begins yelling in Spanish
] Oh my god, the Jew girl's speaking in tongues!
[Cassandra rips open her shirt
: She's going to show her boobs! Thank you Jesus! Patrick
] She is, she's going to show her boobs!
[looking horrified, Hilary Faye stands up at the podium
] Hilary Faye
: She's saying she has a hot pussy!
[the word "pussy" is bleeped out by microphone feedback
: So I figured they would have sent you to a special school by now. Roland
] This IS a special school.
: Roland is so blessed to have such a thoughtful sister. You know, in countries like China, Hilary Faye would probably have been killed at birth. Hilary Faye
: And then where would you be, Roland? Roland
: How was your summer, Roland? Roland
: What? Mary
: Your summer. How was it? Roland
: Oh, it was great. I went roller-skating, water-skiing, learnt to kickbox. The usual. Hilary Faye
: Roland, why do you always have to make everyone feel so awkward about your differently-abled-ness?
[Mary is about to confess that Dean is gay
: I need to tell you guys something.
[Van suddenly haults
] Hilary Faye
: Eew. Veronica
: Eew. Roland
: WHAT? Wasn't like it was some kind of secret. The guy was like a one-man gay pride parade.
: Are you playing footsies with me? Roland
: Roland, does Jesus still love me? Roland
: Probably not.
: Yeah, why not.
: I'm not really a stripper... Roland
: I'm not really a Christian.
: We should get back inside.
: [to himself
] Nice! Cassandra
: [turns around
] Do you want a push? Roland
: Thanks! Cassandra
: [in his ear
] If you stare at my ass again, I will push you off a cliff.
: [to Cassandra
] I don't want to be the guy who's with the girl because he needs her, I want to be the guy who's with the girl because he wants her.