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: What the hell can you do with an A. A. degree anyway? Monty
: You can get a job substituting retarded kids or something.
: So, what do you think of Natasha? Dean
: I think she's illegal. Monty
: Yeah, I've made peace with that. Seriously, look at her. You know she has that Scooby-Doo tongue. Dean
: [imitating Scooby-Doo
] Ratutory rape.
: So are you going to talk to her or are you just gonna hope you're never forced to make an actual decision? Dean
: I'm going with option B. Monty
: That's my boy.
: She really is a little bad-ass though, and fun to hang out with. Laid back. Maintenance fees are really low. I like that. Monty
: Yeah, she's a cool chick, I'd do her. Hell, I'd probably even pay.
[chuckles in disbelief then pauses
: I would.
: Excuse me, sir. You forgot your change. Redneck
: No, that's for you, that's your tip. Dean
: Oh, no, no, no, I insist. You take it. You obviously need this more than I do.
: Too late, you're fucked!
: [to Monty, regarding Calvin
] No, wait a minute. You have to *get* the pussy before you can be whipped by it.
: [meeting new trainee Mitch
] Listen, man. You got nothing to worry about.
[pats Mitch on shoulder
: It's just a game. Monty
: Exactly. Dean
: And besides, you know, if heterosexual men can't show their cocks to each other, then what the hell are we doing here? Monty
: Amen, brother. Dean
: [tweaking Mitch's nipple
] You're adorable.
: How many times can we have the exact same conversation? Monty
: It's like we're stuck in a fucking time paradox where neither our wisdom nor your virginity will ever escape.
: Calvin, what happens with every girl you're interested in? Monty
: Nothing! Dean
: You take 'em out, you pay for everything, and you never make a move! Monty
: And then you go home, alone, to masturbate while you cry, using your own tears as lube...
: Ok, that was once, and I was drunk, and *it was Valentine's Day*. So back off.
: Here we are. Redneck
: Damn, what the hell took so long? Dean
: Sir, you ordered two well done steaks. They take awhile to cook. Redneck
: Yeah, well, can you bring me some ketchup. Mmm. Mmm. Nothin' sets off the flavor of a steak like some ketchup.
: Hey, Floyd, make sure there's no bacon on the chef salad. It's against their religion. Floyd
: Yes Masta. Right away, Masta. Ain't gon' be no, no bacon on the salad Masta.
[while getting whipped with a towel
: NO! AH! NO! Floyd
] Mm-hmm-hmm, no bacon on the salad!
: Hey Floyd, no bacon on that salad. Floyd
: [Looks at Dean and speaks with a southern twang
] Yes massa, ain't gon' be no bacon on the salad
[Cook starts whipping Floyd with a towel while Floyd starts singing devotional-style
: Oh lord, no bacon... No bacon the salad...
: Now I'm not gonna lie to you. The job comes with more responsibility, but it offers a lot more rewards. Dan
: You get full medical, dental,two-weeks' paid vacation, and I might add a hefty pay increase. I do pretty well. Dean
: Cool. Dan
: It is cool. And let's not forget the power. Dean
: Right. Dan
: Control. You tell people to do things, and they have to do it, or they get in trouble. Dan
: I mean, you're in the driver's seat here. Your finger's on the button. - Think about it.