Jonathan Mardukas
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Quotes for
Jonathan Mardukas (Character)
from Midnight Run (1988)

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Midnight Run (1988)
Jack Walsh: I can't keep you cuffed on a commercial flight, and I gotta check my gun with my luggage, but you fuck with me once and I'm gonna break your neck.
Jonathan Mardukas: I can't fly.
Jack Walsh: What?
Jonathan Mardukas: You heard me, I can't fly.
Jack Walsh: No, no, no. You're going to have to do better than that, pal.
Jonathan Mardukas: No, I don't have to do better than that, because it's the truth, I can't fly: I suffer from aviaphobia.
Jack Walsh: What does that mean?
Jonathan Mardukas: It means I can't fly. I also suffer from acrophobia and claustrophobia.
Jack Walsh: I'll tell you what: if you don't cooperate, you're gonna suffer from "fistophobia".

Jack Walsh: How much is here?
Jonathan Mardukas: Neighborhood of three hundred thousand.
Jack Walsh: That's a, that's a... very respectable neighborhood.

Jack Walsh: I never took a payoff in my life and I'm not gonna start with someone like you.
Jonathan Mardukas: Why not?
Jack Walsh: Because you're a fucking criminal and you deserve to go where you're going and I'm gonna take you there and if hear any more shit outta you: I'm gonna fucking bust your head and I'll put you back in that fucking hole and I'm gonna stick your head in the fucking toilet bowl and I'm gonna make it stay there.

Jonathan Mardukas: Jahé, everybody, jahé
Jack Walsh: What's that?
Jonathan Mardukas: It means 'hello'. I can say 'hello' in a lot of different languages. Not yours, but a lot of them.

Jonathan Mardukas: I got money, y'know.
Jack Walsh: I'm sure you do.
Jonathan Mardukas: I'll give you whatever you want.
Jack Walsh: Start by shutting up. I know you all of two minutes and already I don't like ya.
Jonathan Mardukas: Gee, that's too bad. I really like you.

Jonathan Mardukas: [making fun of Jack] Jack? "What?" When do you think you we're gonna get to L.A.? "None of your fucking business!" Well, I have to go to the bathroom. "Shut the fuck up!"

Jonathan Mardukas: Did she hurt you, Jack?
Jack Walsh: Yeah, she did.
Jonathan Mardukas: I'm sorry.
Jack Walsh: What're you sorry about?
Jonathan Mardukas: I'm sorry you're hurt.
Jack Walsh: I'm not hurt.
Jonathan Mardukas: You just said you were hurt.
Jack Walsh: I'm not hurt.
Jonathan Mardukas: You just said you were hurt!
Jack Walsh: I didn't say I was hurt, YOU said I was hurt.
Jonathan Mardukas: I asked you if you were hurt and you said "Yeah, I'm hurt."
Jack Walsh: That's because you made me say it. Startin' to put words in my mouth.
Jonathan Mardukas: Jack, you're a grown man. You're in control of your own words.
Jack Walsh: You're goddamn right I am. Now here come two words for you: Shut the fuck up.

Jonathan Mardukas: You two are the dumbest bounty hunters I have ever seen! You couldn't even deliver a bottle of milk!

Jonathan Mardukas: You lied to me first!
Jack Walsh: What the - -YOU LIED TO ME FIRST!
Jonathan Mardukas: Yes! Yes. But you didn't know I was lying to you when you lied to me down by the river. So as far as you knew, you lied to me first!
Jack Walsh: How can I argue with this guy. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about.

Jason: You don't look like a criminal.
Jonathan Mardukas: I'm a white-collar criminal.

Jonathan Mardukas: What's the name of this establishment?
Red Wood: Red's Corner Bar.
Jonathan Mardukas: Are you Red?
Red Wood: Yes.
Jonathan Mardukas: Do you dye your hair?
Red Wood: No.
Jonathan Mardukas: Why do they call you Red?
Red Wood: It's short for Redwood. My last name's Wood.
Jonathan Mardukas: What's your first name?
Red Wood: Bill.

Gail: Jack you shouldn't be here. Ted will come arrest you and him.
Jack Walsh: Arrest us?
Gail: Yeah.
Jack Walsh: Then we're in trouble because I'm afraid I'm little short of bribe money.
Gail: All right Jack, don't.
Jack Walsh: How is Lieutenant whatever-his-name-is?
Gail: It's captain now.
Jack Walsh: Oh, captain! Royalty!
Gail: Jack, I don't want any trouble. Do you understand that? Please. It's not a good day for this. I mean it!
Jack Walsh: I'm sorry my fugitive timetable doesn't coincide with your social calendar.
Jonathan Mardukas: I don't think she's saying that.
Jack Walsh: Stay out of this, John.
Gail: All right, same old Jack. You get your feelings hurt then you just walk around and hurt everybody else.
Jack Walsh: The last thing I need right now is one of your lectures.
Gail: I'm not lecturing you, stupid! I'm trying to protect you.
Jack Walsh: Oh, come on.
Gail: Ted will be home any minute. We're all going out tonight. It's an important night for us.
Jack Walsh: Important night? What so important about tonight? Wait, let me guess. What is it, pay-off night?
Gail: All right, that's it. Get out!

Jonathan Mardukas: Why are you so unpopular with the Chicago police department?

Jonathan Mardukas: You can't steal a truck !
Jack Walsh: You were stealing a plane !

Jonathan Mardukas: See you in the next life, Jack.

[Jack is hotwiring a truck]
Jonathan Mardukas: You get it started, and I'll run you over. That's the best plan I can think of.

[before boarding a plane]
Jonathan Mardukas: I just wanna tell you that I have fear of flying.
Marvin Dorfler: Well, why don't you just relax and sleep through it?
[Marvin punches Jonathan, knocking him out]

Jonathan Mardukas: Two dollars? That's all you're gonna leave?
Jack Walsh: That's fifteen percent.
Jonathan Mardukas: That's thirteen percent. These people depend on tips for a living!

Jonathan Mardukas: You're OK, Jack. I think... under different circumstances you and I probably still would have hated each other!
[Both laugh loudly]

Jack Walsh: That whole fuckin' department was corrupt!
Jonathan Mardukas: There's good and bad everywhere, don't you think?
Jack Walsh: Eh, well, I'd say there's bad everywhere. Good I don't know about.

Jonathan Mardukas: You have two emotions, silence and rage.

Jonathan Mardukas: You ever had sex with an animal Jack? Remember those chickens on the Indian reservation? There were some good looking chickens there Jack. You know, between us...
Jack Walsh: Yeah, there were a couple there I might've taken a shot at.
[both laugh heartily]

Jack Walsh: Oh Marvin, you did it this time!
Marvin Dorfler: What the fuck are you talking about?
Jack Walsh: Those were hired killers back there!
Marvin Dorfler: Hired to kill who?
Jack Walsh: [pointing to Mardukas] Hired to kill this guy!
Jonathan Mardukas: Me! Me, can you believe it?
Marvin Dorfler: Hired by who?
Jack Walsh: Hired by who? Jimmy Serrano, that's who!
Marvin Dorfler: Oh, fuck! Why they wanna kill this guy?
Jack Walsh: Don't you read the papers, knucklehead?
Marvin Dorfler: Yeah, I read the fuckin' papers!
Jonathan Mardukas: I can't take this.

Jonathan Mardukas: [as Jack is stealing a truck] I don't like this. I don't like anything you do, to tell you the truth. Nothing.

Jonathan Mardukas: [impersonating an FBI agent] Would you describe exactly what the last man who passed a $20 bill to you looked like?
Bar Cashier: Thirty, tall...
Jonathan Mardukas: About 6 feet?
Bar Cashier: [shakes head] Six-five.
Jonathan Mardukas: Dark hair?
Bar Cashier: Light colored.
Jonathan Mardukas: [looks at Jack] Sounds like our man.

Jonathan Mardukas: You don't look like an FBI agent to me.
Jack Walsh: Well, you don't look like a duke to me.

Jonathan Mardukas: Come on, cigarettes are killers.
Jack Walsh: So are women.

Jonathan Mardukas: [seeing Jack Walsh leave his sunglasses perched on the car's dashboard] What's that for?
Jack Walsh: A little inside joke between me and Alonzo.

Jack Walsh: I've known you for all of two mins & already I don't like you
Jonathan Mardukas: gee that's too bad coz I really like you

Jonathan Mardukas: Why would you eat that?
Jack Walsh: Why? 'Cause it tastes good.
Jonathan Mardukas: But it's not good for you.
Jack Walsh: I'm aware of that.
Jonathan Mardukas: Why do something that you know is not good for you?
Jack Walsh: Because I don't think about it.
Jonathan Mardukas: Well, that's living in denial.
Jack Walsh: Living in denial?
Jonathan Mardukas: Yeah.
Jack Walsh: I'm aware of that.
Jonathan Mardukas: So you're aware of all your behavior?
Jonathan Mardukas: yet you continue to do things that aren't good for you.
Jonathan Mardukas: That sounds sort of foolish. Don't you think, Jack?

Jonathan Mardukas: What you think Serrano is most afraid of?
Jack Walsh: [pause for a moment] going cross-country with you!

Jonathan Mardukas: Why don't you put the cigarette out.
Jack Walsh: Why don't you shut up and leave me alone?
Jonathan Mardukas: Put the cigarette out, Jack.
Jack Walsh: What a...
Jonathan Mardukas: Put the cigarette out.
Jack Walsh: [laughing, motioning as if putting it out] What a pain in the ass this guy is.
[takes a drag]
Jonathan Mardukas: I thought you were putting it out.
Jack Walsh: No I'm not putting it out.
Jonathan Mardukas: Why aren't you popular with the Chicago Police Department.

Jonathan Mardukas: You ever had lyonnaise potatoes? They are these types of potatoes that are sautéed but then they have this onion thing added to them, and they are really, really delicious. They work well with any, uh, chicken or pork dish. You know I could set you up with lyonnaise potatoes for the rest of your life.
Jack Walsh: Why don't you just shut the fuck up!

Eddie Moscone: [on the phone with Jack] Where the hell are you?
Jack Walsh: Where am I? I'm at the airport! And guess who I'm with? I'm with the Duke!
Eddie Moscone: [raises his voice excitedly] You got him! Oh! You got him, Jack! I love you!
Jack Walsh: Yeah, you wanna say hello?
Eddie Moscone: Yeah, put him on.
Jack Walsh: Yeah, say hello!
[gives the receiver to Jon]
Jonathan Mardukas: Hello.
Eddie Moscone: Hello, you son of a bitch! We got you, you son of a bitch!
Jack Walsh: [gets back on] Yeah! Now say goodbye, you lying little piece of shit, because I'm letting him go!
[hangs up]
Eddie Moscone: [jiggling the switch hook on his phone, starting to panic] Jack?