Courtney Rockcliffe
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Quotes for
Courtney Rockcliffe (Character)
from The Sweetest Thing (2002)

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The Sweetest Thing (2002)
Christina: Ew! What is that?
Courtney: What is what?
Christina: You don't smell that?
Courtney: Smell what? I don't smell anything.
Christina: Oh Jesus! You're used to it, and that's, that's what's really scary!
Courtney: I don't smell anything!
Christina: It smells like moldy ass is what it smells like in here!
Courtney: Wait a minute, come to think of it, I did leave some ass in the back.
Christina: You did!
Courtney: I did, about a week a ago. I did, it's the ass! It must be the ass!

Courtney: Maybe it's you. Did somethin' crawl up your poonani?
Christina: Hey! I have never had any complaints in the poonani odor department!
Courtney: Yeah! Well neither have I, okay!
Christina: High five on the clean poonani!
[Gives a high five]
Courtney: Bitch!

Courtney: How could you not know what a glory hole is?
Christina: Well unlike my WHORE friend Courtney Rockcliff, I don't usually spend much time in men's public bathrooms.

[to little boy sitting in the pew in front of her in church]
Courtney: Turn around.
[Little boy shakes his head]
Courtney: Turn around.
[Little boy shakes his head]
Courtney: Look, it's Jesus. Look at Jesus!

Courtney: What you did was incredibly brave. You dropped all your boundaries and you met him half way... shit you met him more than halfway you went all the way to Somerset.

Courtney: Oh, you know, the usual. Defending the rights of my broken hearted clients and try to squeeze every single penny out of their miserable cheating spouses.

Courtney: Fifty percent of what people say when they are joking is true, which means, you do wanna go to this wedding but you are too afraid to admit it. So, by making some sort of joke about it, you get to say what you really want without being vulnerable.

[Courtney and Christina look at themselves dressed in ridiculous clothes]
Christina, Courtney: These are..."The Days Of Our Lives"!

[after knocking over a flower arrangement and disrupting an entire wedding]
Courtney: This isn't the Glichtman Barmitzvah is it? Mosha are you in here, no?
Christina: Come along Sharron. Mazeltov! Shalom!

[while holding her breats]
Christina: You know when I was 22, my breasts were up here, nice and perky, but gravity has taken them. It's like 22, 28, 22, 28, 22...
Courtney: Buy some new ones!

[holds up arm shaking the fat on it]
Courtney: Look at this, no what is that, no, what is that, no seriously what is that? It's like Hello, Hi, Hi, How are you?

Voice: There's someone in here.
Christina: Sorry.
Voice: It might be a while.
Christina: How long?
Voice: Let me put it to you this way. I had Lamb Curry last night and I'm shitting out a Buick!
Courtney: Was it absolutely vital for her to tell us that?

Courtney: That is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I mean, I flew across that room. And you got fucked in the eye!

Christina: I got a penis in my eye.
Courtney: Let me see.
Christina: How is it? Is it okay?
Courtney: Yeah, it's okay, but I think you're pregnant.

Christina: You're too big to fit in here...
[covers her front]
Courtney: Too big to fit in HERE...
[smacks butt]
Courtney: OW! Unh!
Jane: Too big to fit in here...
[covers mouth and moans]
Christina: [Patrons begin playing music and drumming on things] Oh, my God!
Courtney: Oh my god, we are in Fame right now!
Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All singing] What a lovely ride
Jane: Your penis is a thrill!
Christina: Your penis is a Cadillac!
Courtney: A giant Coupe DeVille!
Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All singing] Your penis packs a wallop, your penis brings a load.
Courtney: And when it makes delivery...
Christina: It needs its own zip code! Nine-double zero PENIS!

Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All Singing] What a lovely ride!
Jane: Your penis is a thrill!
Christina: Your penis is a Cadillac
Jane: A giant Coupe DeVille!
Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All singing] Your penis packs a wallop, your penis brings a load!
Christina: And when it makes delivery...
Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All singing] It needs its own zipcode
Christina: Nine-Double Zero, Penis!

Christina, Courtney: Jane! JANEYYY!
Jane: Sorry you guys, I'm really busy and...
Christina, Courtney: Hey, wait, Jane
[they begin singing]
Christina, Courtney: "Do you like Pina Coladas? And getting caught in the rain...?"
Jane: [Watches her boyfriend in his mascot outfit topple down a flight of stairs] ... shit!