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Quotes for
Tim Bayliss (Character)
from "Homicide: Life on the Street" (1993)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Homicide: The Movie (2000) (TV)
Det. Robert Hall: I know you guys are legends and all, but this is my interview.
Tim Bayliss: Shut up.
Det. Robert Hall: What? Excuse me?
Tim Bayliss: I said, shut the hell up.

Tim Bayliss: Time for one more confession, Frank.
Det. Frank Pembleton: Confession?
Tim Bayliss: I killed a man.
Det. Frank Pembleton: [laughs in disbelief] I'm not in the mood, all right?
Tim Bayliss: Luke Ryland.
Det. Frank Pembleton: Who?
Tim Bayliss: I shot the bastard dead.
Det. Frank Pembleton: Good, um... go to jail, go directly to jail. Do not pass go...
Tim Bayliss: No, no, I'm not kidding, Frank. I killed him.
Det. Frank Pembleton: Come on, Tim. You couldn't kill anybody...
Tim Bayliss: Frank, he got off on a technicality. The bastard had to die before he went out and he murdered another innocent woman.
Det. Frank Pembleton: ...Don't screw with me. You killed this, uh... whoever?
Tim Bayliss: Luke Ryland.
Det. Frank Pembleton: ...Internal cleared you?
Tim Bayliss: Frank, I'm saying I hunted the bastard down, and when I found him, I blew his brains out. I executed him in cold blood.
Det. Frank Pembleton: And I'm saying internal rules this as a good shooting?
Tim Bayliss: No, no, internal doesn't know crap about me killing Ryland!
Det. Frank Pembleton: So you - you're standing here and you're telling me you killed somebody?
Tim Bayliss: ...Yes.

Frank Pembleton: No, you're standing there with your weapon and it went off, and you don't remember how!
Tim Bayliss: Frank...
Frank Pembleton: 'Cause guns go off accidentally, happens all the time!
Tim Bayliss: It was no accident.
Frank Pembleton: No, I'm saying this IS an accident - for you to shoot somebody, it's gotta be a mistake!
Tim Bayliss: No, no, no, it's no mistake, no accident!
Frank Pembleton: Tim - !
Tim Bayliss: Frank, you're a good cop.
Frank Pembleton: I'm not a cop anymore.
Tim Bayliss: No, no, you're always gonna be a cop.
Frank Pembleton: No no, I'm a teacher, I teach. A civilian...
Tim Bayliss: No, I murdered this son of a bitch because he was a predator, Frank, he preyed on WOMEN!
Frank Pembleton: [Tries to laugh it off] Why - why are you doing this?
Tim Bayliss: I put the gun right up to the mother's BRAIN and I pulled the trigger - !
Frank Pembleton: Shut up, just - SHUT UP!
[Tense silence]
Frank Pembleton: You put this on me. You son of a bitch!
Tim Bayliss: [Gestures to his heart] In here... I know that I did right.
[Gestures to his head]
Tim Bayliss: But for here...

Frank Pembleton: So you waited till I came back, so you could, um... unload this? Unburden yourself? What's supposed to happen now?
Tim Bayliss: You tell me.
Frank Pembleton: ...I'm not bringing you in.
[Starts to walk away]
Tim Bayliss: No, huh?
Frank Pembleton: I'm not a cop. It's not official.
Tim Bayliss: [Blocks his path] Oh, really? Now what are you gonna do, Frank? Not say a word? You gonna keep my little secret to yourself?
Frank Pembleton: Son of a bitch, you SON of a BITCH! You murdered him!
Tim Bayliss: I executed him, Frank.

Tim Bayliss: So, you... you'll take me in.
Frank Pembleton: 'I'm gonna take you in' - are you wild?
Tim Bayliss: No - you'll take me in, Frank.
Frank Pembleton: [Shakes his head] No.
Tim Bayliss: Did I take... a bullet for you? Huh?
Frank Pembleton: No, no, cut it out...
[Tim lunges at Frank]
Tim Bayliss: Did I take a bullet for you or not, huh?
Frank Pembleton: I am NOT taking you in...
Tim Bayliss: DID I TAKE A BULLET FOR YOU? I take a bullet for you, and you take a bullet for me - now THAT is square business, Frank!
Frank Pembleton: This is not taking a bullet for you, this is you wanting me to toss your ass in the jackpot! You're confessing to a murder, Tim, do you understand that?
Tim Bayliss: So you want someone else should take me in? Someone else should bust me...
Frank Pembleton: No. No, no...
Tim Bayliss: Is that what you want? Then it HAS to be you!
Frank Pembleton: NO, NO, no! No...
Tim Bayliss: [Grabs Frank] Frank, listen to me! Listen. I've thought about eating my gun, and I'm gonna EAT that gun RIGHT NOW if you don't do the right thing for me, Frank, for right here!
[Gestures to his head]
Tim Bayliss: I have no other... no other option, Frank. Please...
Frank Pembleton: [sighs] So you thought about putting a gun to yourself?
Tim Bayliss: Yeah. Yeah, you'd be saving my life, I dunno for how long, but for now... at least you would.
Frank Pembleton: [Takes a deep breath] I believe that you did not mean to do this killing.
Tim Bayliss: ...yeah, you believe what you want to believe. That's okay.
Frank Pembleton: So we're gonna turn around, right now, and we're gonna go back inside. Okay?
Tim Bayliss: [Anguished, he takes out his badge] Never put off the inevitable, Frank. It's gotta be what it's gotta be.
[Presses the badge into Frank's hand]
Frank Pembleton: [Crying] Son of a bitch...

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Sniper: Part 1 (#4.8)" (1996)
Lt. Al Giardello: I want you both wearing vests!
Det. Tim Bayliss: Don't worry about it, Gee.
Lt. Al Giardello: And don't tell me not to worry!

Det. Tim Bayliss: It's a red ball on top of a red ball.

Det. Tim Bayliss: The doctor says I can go through months of painful physical therapy with no guarantee, or I can have the surgery, and he recommended the surgery.
Det. John Munch: With no guarantee.
Det. Tim Bayliss: What do you mean?
Det. John Munch: You go to the chiropractor? You go to herbalists?
Det. Tim Bayliss: Yeah.
Det. John Munch: The doctor doesn't see any of that money. He only gets paid if he cuts you open.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Oh come on.
Det. John Munch: Alright, let me ask you a question, what kind of car does he drive? A Lexus? A Buick?
Det. Tim Bayliss: A Jaguar.
Det. John Munch: Must be the economy sized model, eh?

Capt. Megan Russert: What amount of stress could make anybody just go out and start shooting at people?
Det. Tim Bayliss: See that's the thing, he's not feeling any stress.
Capt. Megan Russert: How can you tell?
Det. Tim Bayliss: Being a marksman is all about precision.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: La Famiglia (#7.1)" (1998)
Det. Stuart Gharty: [about Bayliss] He's in a flux.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Flux you!

Det. Tim Bayliss: I died, y'know, after I got shot. It's...
Det. John Munch: You mean you had a near death experience?
Det. Tim Bayliss: Oh, no, not near death. I, uh, actually died.
Det. John Munch: You mean you were going towards a bright light and all your ancestors were waving "howdy"?
Det. Tim Bayliss: No... It was more like I, uh... more like I could feel all the... I don't know, the different... parts of me, the... elements that make up my physical presence - water, air, earth - I could feel them... breaking apart, dissipating... Yeah, becoming one with, um... The greatest force of energy in the universe.
Det. John Munch: Tim, this zen detective thing is starting to really rub my rectum the wrong way.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Oh. I don't expect you to understand unless you understand, John.
Det. John Munch: See, that's exactly what I'm talking about.
Det. Tim Bayliss: What?
Det. John Munch: It's like being partner with a fortune cookie.

Det. Tim Bayliss: So... what, G's father was Italian and his mother was black?
Det. John Munch: Yeah.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Must've been tough.
Det. John Munch: What?
Det. Tim Bayliss: Y'know, growing up half-breed, being accepted, figuring out what your loyalties are.
Det. John Munch: G's loyalties are to the Baltimore PD.
Det. Tim Bayliss: No, I mean before that, John. He wasn't always a cop.
Det. John Munch: You sure about that?

Det. Tim Bayliss: Interviewing G's relatives, you get to find out a lot more than you knew before. For instance, did you know that G, when he was seven years old, could speak two languages?
Det. John Munch: No. Did you know he was prom king?
Det. Tim Bayliss: No. Did you know that his son and he haven't talked since G's wife died?
Det. John Munch: Yes... which should make the next few moments incredibly interesting.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Why's that?
Det. John Munch: Here comes the son.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Fallen Heroes: Part 1 (#6.22)" (1998)
Det. Tim Bayliss: So the judge was walking to his car, taking a call.
Det. Frank Pembleton: You assume he was taking a call and not making a call... because he had just come from his office where he could've made a call for free and who wants to pay the outrageous cell phone prices?
Det. Tim Bayliss: No, because there's a pay phone over there that's off the hook.

Det. Laura Ballard: [being wheeled into an ambulance] Do I still have it?
Det. Tim Bayliss: Have what?
Det. Laura Ballard: My foot! My ankle! Wherever I was shot!
Det. Tim Bayliss: Yes.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Don't lie to me!
Det. Tim Bayliss: I'm not.

Det. Tim Bayliss: Gharty was shot in the chest.
Det. John Munch: Is he going to make it?
Det. Tim Bayliss: We don't know. Ballard was shot in the ankle.
Det. John Munch: That's not as bad in comparison.
Det. Tim Bayliss: She might lose her foot.
Det. John Munch: God!

"Homicide: Life on the Street: A Many Splendored Thing (#2.4)" (1994)
Tim Bayliss: You know something? Everyone keeps saying how normal Angela was, how wonderful she is, but if she s so wonderful, what's she doing working at a dump like that?
[point's towards Ed's Phone Sex Call Center with distaste]

Tim Bayliss: [repulsed] Tell me you don't find all this porno stuff... this sex stuff, this S&M stuff disgusting!
Frank Pembleton: Oh, that's just the way of the world, it's been that way forever.

Tim Bayliss: If you know you could be killed, then why keep doing it?
Tanya Quinn: Believe it or not, when I've given complete control of myself over to someone else... I'm free.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Forgive Us Our Trespasses (#7.22)" (1999)
Meldrick Lewis: It happened, Bayliss! No amount of wishful thinking or good karma is gonna change that!
Tim Bayliss: You're such an ass.

Tim Bayliss: You know who I started thinking about today? Gordon Pratt.
John Munch: [shivering] Gordon Pratt? That little weasel who shot Bolander, Felton and Howard?
Tim Bayliss: Yeah...
John Munch: What the hell are you thinking about that little skunk for?
Tim Bayliss: Well, when he got released, uh, Pratt was found shot to death, and... I was put in charge of the investigation.
John Munch: And a great job you did, too...?
Tim Bayliss: I never really closed that case, John.
John Munch: [annoyed] That's what I mean, he shoots three of our own, so he deserves to have an unavenged death!
Tim Bayliss: [halts in his tracks] ... You really believe that?
John Munch: Yes!
Tim Bayliss: [surprised] You believe he deserves to die...?
John Munch: Yes...
Tim Bayliss: And that his murderer should go free?
John Munch: YES!
Tim Bayliss: [Eyes downcast] You know, when I got shot, my whole perception of the universe just... just completely changed! But when I shot that homeless guy, Larry Moss... suddenly, I knew what it was like to take another person's life. Suddenly I was JUST like the person who killed Adena Watson! See, Frank said that I would never be a good homicide detective because I didn't have the 'killer's instinct'. Frank was wrong... you know, I always suspected you.
John Munch: [nervous] Of what?
Tim Bayliss: ...Killing Gordon Pratt.
John Munch: [freezing, looking shocked] Why in god's name after all this time would you pull Gordon Pratt outta the dirt?
Tim Bayliss: I dunno... just... came to my mind.
[creepily reaches forward and strokes his hand through Munch's hair]
Tim Bayliss: Good night, John-Boy.
[walks away, leaving Munch glaring at the sky vengefully]

Tim Bayliss: Justice is a BITCH.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: A Dog and Pony Show (#1.6)" (1993)
Tim Bayliss: Wait a minute. Are you saying that if one of those ceremonial Clydesdale keels over, I gotta have a full-blown investigation?

Frank Pembleton: Jake... Jake, what kinda name is that for a dog, especially a police dog?... Jake...
Tim Bayliss: Jake is a good name, uh, solid, dependable, easy for a dog to respond to.
Frank Pembleton: Naw naw naw, a dog should be named, um... Rex.
Tim Bayliss: Rex... you know I had an Irish Setter one time and his name was Molly.
Frank Pembleton: [laughs] An Irish Setter?
Tim Bayliss: Molly was a beautiful dog!

Tim Bayliss: You bought one of them bad-smelling sheepdogs from Hungary and you want me to be impressed...?

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Double Blind (#5.18)" (1997)
Det. Frank Pembleton: This man was a bastard.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Yeah, he was.
Det. Frank Pembleton: He got what he deserved.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Yes, he did.
Det. Frank Pembleton: Manslaughter, 5 years suspended.
Det. Tim Bayliss: What are you talking about? It doesn't work that way!
Det. Frank Pembleton: [laughs] It doesn't?
Det. Tim Bayliss: No! No, you can't just go through this world giving every bastard what he deserves!

Det. Tim Bayliss: [to Pembleton] Now, you want to call that first bullet self-defense, fine. First one's on the house. Second bullet, you want to say that that was shot in fear, that's great, that's no problem because, you know, we're going to give her a two bullet handicap. But the third shot, Frank, the one where he's down on the floor, and he's of no threat to anyone at all, Frank, come on...

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Sniper: Part 2 (#4.9)" (1996)
Det. Frank Pembleton: It wasn't your job to save Mariner's life. Why does his death bother you?
Det. Tim Bayliss: I was the primary, Frank!
Det. Frank Pembleton: YOU DID YOUR JOB! Nine names in red turned into nine names in black and if Mariner wasted himself, so what?
Det. Tim Bayliss: Wait a second, YOU are always telling me how you see ALL lives as being as important.
Det. Frank Pembleton: Yeah well if I was God, I'd have a hard time taking Mariner's death, and the deaths of nine innocent people and weighing them the same.

Det. Frank Pembleton: There's another sniper shooting, why isn't there a hangman game at this one?
Det. Tim Bayliss: It takes two to play hangman.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Nearer My God to Thee (#3.1)" (1994)
Det. Frank Pembleton: You're not Catholic and you took communion?
Det. Tim Bayliss: Yeah, is that wrong?
Det. Frank Pembleton: If my God wins, you're screwed.

Det. Tim Bayliss: [to Frank] Where the hell was God when this woman needed Him? Why doesn't Mr. God protect people like Katharine Goodrich or Adena Watson?

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Gone for Goode (#1.1)" (1993)
[it is Detective Tim Bayliss' first day in the homicide unit]
Det. Tim Bayliss: Excuse me, hi - where could I get a cup of coffee?
Det. John Munch: There's a machine on the first floor.
[Bayliss leaves]
Det. Stan Bolander: There's coffee right in there.
Det. John Munch: That's our coffee.

Det. Tim Bayliss: Why do you think that this kid would be riding around in Burger's white T-Bird when that was the easiest way to link him to the murder?
Det. Frank Pembleton: I don't know 'cause... crime makes you stupid.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Can I quote you on that?

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Just an Old Fashioned Love Song (#7.3)" (1998)
Det. John Munch: Bayliss, don't give me any zen song and dance about how money is an illusion, taxes are an illusion, the IRS is an illusion.
Det. Tim Bayliss: On the contrary, John, money is Mara, the Destroyer, the Evil One.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: A Shot in the Dark (#1.4)" (1993)
Tim Bayliss: [about the Adena Watson killer] DAMN! Now why would he even stay in Baltimore?
John Munch: [Munch is eavesdropping while reading a newspaper] Because if he's REALLY from Baltimore, he won't go. He'll talk about it enough, but he'll never leave.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Stakeout (#4.15)" (1996)
Det. Frank Pembleton: So, you leaving?
Det. Tim Bayliss: Nope.
[looks at the board]
Det. Tim Bayliss: Not until I solve the Lambert case.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: All Through the House (#3.8)" (1994)
Lt. Al Giardello: Never try to hustle a Sicilian.
Det. John Munch: You tried to hustle Gee at hearts?
Det. Tim Bayliss: He plays hearts?
Det. John Munch: The man was a legend back in the day, nobody could beat him. He put one of his kids through college just playing hearts.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Full Court Press (#6.18)" (1998)
Det. Tim Bayliss: I have a plan.
Det. Frank Pembleton: Bayliss has a clever plan.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Frank, do you have a plan?
Det. Frank Pembleton: I admit, I have no plan.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Law & Disorder (#3.15)" (1995)
Tim Bayliss: How 'bout you help me out on the Pratt murder?
Det. John Munch: [laughs nervously] Conflict of interest 104, never get involved in the homicide investigation of someone who tried to KILL you!
Tim Bayliss: [incredulous] That makes sense... you know, John, I was at Iceros the other day, and I was talking to these two waitresses who were working yesterday, and... no one remembers ever seeing you.
Det. John Munch: ...No kidding...
Tim Bayliss: ...Yeah...
Det. John Munch: Well... it was, uh, Zorba's or Gian's... I'd been driving around in a regressive purple haze... there's documented cases of that happening, you know.
Tim Bayliss: ...Yeah... you know, there's not.
Det. John Munch: [drops the glass he is holding, looking annoyed] ... You want my gun, Detective? I carry a glock, just like you. Want to check it out and see if it's been fired recently?
[Munch holds out his gun, looking rather suspicious]
Det. John Munch: Huh? GO AHEAD!
[Bayliss picks up the gun and Munch stands back, a slightly worried look in his eyes, but says nothing. Bayliss holds the gun but at the last second, hands it back without checking it]
Tim Bayliss: ...Here.
Det. John Munch: ...I gotta make a phone call.
[walks away apprehensively]
Tim Bayliss: Yeah...

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Sideshow (#7.15)" (1999)
Tim Bayliss: Welcome back, Lennie!
Det. Leonard 'Lennie' Briscoe: Bayliss, right?
Tim Bayliss: Yeah.
[they shake hands]
Tim Bayliss: So, as a rule, you can only cross the Mason-Dixon line if you bring a really screwed-up case with you?
Det. Leonard 'Lennie' Briscoe: Hey; if it doesn't make sense, it belongs in Baltimore - right?

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Hostage: Part 1 (#5.1)" (1996)
Det. Tim Bayliss: [referring to Brodie] It's not his job to pig-sit.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: End Game (#3.14)" (1995)
Det. Tim Bayliss: 'The Getaway?' Wasn't that made into a movie?
Det. John Munch: Twice. The one with Steve McQueen is a classic.
Det. Tim Bayliss: I don't remember a remake.
Det. John Munch: That's because it wasn't worth remembering.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Three Men and Adena (#1.5)" (1993)
Det. Frank Pembleton: I had my doubts but you're right. I am now convinced that Tucker killed Adena Watson.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Really? I'm not so sure he did anymore.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Smoke Gets in Your Eyes (#1.8)" (1993)
Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello: Let me get this clear in my mind: what you want me to do is section off a non-smoking area for the two of you, right?
Sgt. Kay Howard: Not just for the two of us; for many non-smokers.
Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello: Uh-huh. Where are all these non-smokers?
Sgt. Kay Howard: If you build it, they will come.
Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello: Is that right? Where do you suggest I find the space to create... to build this non-nicotine field of dreams? The coffee room? Would that suit you?
Sgt. Kay Howard: You'd give us the coffee room?
Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello: Sure. I give you permission to post a notice. YOU put up a sign to ban all cigarette smoking in the coffee room.
Det. Tim Bayliss: No, I think that the coffee room is sacred to the guys, Gee.
Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello: You're not as dumb as you look, Bayliss.
Det. Tim Bayliss: [Genuinely touched] Thanks, Gee.
Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello: Coffee and nicotine, mom and apple pie, hot dogs with mustard, sex and latex... somehow, you mess with any of the combination of those, you take your life in your hands.
Sgt. Kay Howard: There's a statute from OSHA that mandates that no smoking areas be designated in each and every public working place.
Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello: [Chuckling] Oh, OSHA, huh? All right. There are federal statutes and state statutes and city statutes mandating that people curb their dogs, play their stereos at a reasonable volume, and respect the office of the presidency, but who cares about any of that?
Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello: OSHA.
Sgt. Kay Howard: You refuse to enforce a federal law?
Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello: Yes, I do. I most certainly do.
Sgt. Kay Howard: Gee, sometimes being in command means issuing unpopular orders.
Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello: Are you calling me a coward?
Det. Tim Bayliss: No no no no no, sir.
Sgt. Kay Howard: No.
Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello: Sure, you are.
Sgt. Kay Howard: No, I'm not. I...
Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello: In so many words you're saying I'm too scared to put up a cigarette ban in this squadroom. I watched Crosetti try to quit smoking. Crosetti without smoking is an unecessary terror. You may be right: I may be a coward. But you may be right and needlessly stupid and reckless at the same time. Now, get out of here, both of you.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: See No Evil (#2.2)" (1994)
Lt. Al Giardello: [to Frank and Tim] I want to see both of you in my office in one hour.
Det. Tim Bayliss: [to Frank] Why am I suddenly becoming very happy you're the primary on this case?

"Homicide: Life on the Street: The Night of the Dead Living (#1.9)" (1993)
Det. Frank Pembleton: You said summer was hell.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Well... it was.
Det. Frank Pembleton: It's all mind over matter, Bayliss.
Det. Tim Bayliss: No, no, it's more than mind over matter. I know my mind and my mind remembers my ass melting into the tops of my shoes, all right? Summer was hell.
Det. Frank Pembleton: There's no humidity in hell.
Det. Tim Bayliss: What, you do a field report?
Det. Frank Pembleton: By all reliable accounts, there's not a single drop of water to pass between heaven and hell. Hell is a dry heat.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Oh. Well, book me a flight.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Extreme Unction (#3.3)" (1994)
Det. Frank Pembleton: Damn Him!
Det. Tim Bayliss: The killer?
Det. Frank Pembleton: God.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Frank, I don't think you can ask God to damn Himself. And if you do, don't stand next to me because I don't want to get hit by lightning, this is a new suit.

"Homicide: Life on the Street: Brotherly Love (#7.2)" (1998)
Det. Tim Bayliss: That's a book that I got for Rene.
Det. John Munch: Zen for Beginners?
Det. Tim Bayliss: Yeah, she was asking me some questions about Buddhism.
Det. John Munch: And you're concerned with her spiritual well-being.
Det. Tim Bayliss: Absolutely. Well, y'know, probably I'm also thinking she might go out with me.
Det. John Munch: Let me get this straight: you're interested in Rene romantically?
Det. Tim Bayliss: Yeah. Yeah, why not? She's single, she's beautiful, and she's very open-minded.
Det. John Munch: I knew it about you all along, Timmy.
Det. Tim Bayliss: What's that John?
Det. John Munch: Beneath all that dogma, you're still a dog.