Adam Schiff
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Quotes for
Adam Schiff (Character)
from "Law & Order" (1990)

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"Law & Order: I.D. (#7.2)" (1996)
D.A. Adam Schiff: Sisters killing sisters; I haven't seen that for a week or two.

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: I think we'll convince Judge Marks...
Jack McCoy: Nathan Marks?
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Luck of the draw.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Make sure your airbags are working.

D.A. Adam Schiff: [visiting McCoy in jail] I understand you were in contempt.
Jack McCoy: Just a little. Are you going to get the transcript to the chief administrative judge?
D.A. Adam Schiff: I'm going to see Judge Marks first about bail.
Jack McCoy: I'm OK. But if you go, wear silk.

D.A. Adam Schiff: Have you read the sexual harassment guidelines?
Judge Nathan Marks: I wrote them, remember?

D.A. Adam Schiff: You know who's who now?
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Yes.
D.A. Adam Schiff: This is Joanne Sullivan you've got there in Rikers?
Jack McCoy: Who else could it be?
D.A. Adam Schiff: Please don't ask.

"Law & Order: DWB (#9.2)" (1998)
D.A. Adam Schiff: For all you know, you don't know anything. Between Internal Affairs and you, the Red Sox couldn't have done a better job of botching it up.

Jack McCoy: [referring to his attempt to invalidate a federal plea bargain] This is my line in the sand.
D.A. Adam Schiff: One phone call from me, this is dead in its tracks.
Jack McCoy: You could do that. I'd refile it as a private citizen.
D.A. Adam Schiff: It's nice to have choices.

D.A. Adam Schiff: [after the US district court has ruled that federal plea bargains are illegal] Preposterous decision. Hogties every federal prosecutor in the country. And, thanks to you, we're part of it.
Jack McCoy: The decision will be reversed on appeal. Six months from now. By then Dietrich and the other two will be on death row.
D.A. Adam Schiff: ...or your letter of resignation will be on my desk.
Abbie Carmichael: [pointing to wall of McCoy's office] My longhorn pennant will look good over there.

D.A. Adam Schiff: Two of New York's finest on Death Row. There's going to be fallout.
Jack McCoy: You think we should have let the Feds take the heat?
D.A. Adam Schiff: We'll know the next time one of us needs a cop.

"Law & Order: Prince of Darkness (#3.8)" (1992)
Adam Schiff: I LOVE cases where a homicidal gun dealer is our best witness.

Adam Schiff: The gun dealer was in the yard at Riker's; had his throat cut. Buenaventura was strangled in the kitchen at Dannemora. And Manuel Ortega's mother fell out of a window.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: What about the little girl?
Adam Schiff: She was picked up at school by her uncle.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: She doesn't have an uncle!
Adam Schiff: look of absolute horror, as credits roll

Adam Schiff: Twenty people in that restaurant. No ID. We say he's Gaitan, they say Esteban. Without fingerprints, they can say he's Peter Pan.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: The State Department buys dictators over breakfast, they can't get prints from the Colombians?
Adam Schiff: Billions of dollars, the cartel is an underground nation. They kill judges down there for sport!
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Adam, is there an agenda here?
Adam Schiff: The US Attorney's office did call. They say that Gaitan can make federal cases into the next century.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: He'll get six months, testify in three cases, and go home.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Adam, that is nuts. We convict, the feds get leverage, and I think facing 25 years, he'd sell out anybody.
Adam Schiff: The feds would like us to talk to Gaitan. You'll do it.

A.D.A. Paul Robinette: Cristobal's son, 19, police report says Gaitan put three bullets in the back of his head. Maybe Frank Hoover has a point.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Terrific. You don't like the system, go get a gun. We can paint the courthouse steps red.
Adam Schiff: A lot of people would rather give him a medal than a sentence. Frank Hoover has a case for extreme emotional disturbance.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: I'm not hard hearted, but I don't get this one. It's premeditated, it's wrong.
Adam Schiff: I'm not up on my Catholic theology, but is self-righteousness a mortal or a venial sin?
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: You killed a man who killed your son, to a jury it doesn't matter how premeditated it was.
Adam Schiff: Let him do four to 12.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: OK, just as long as you take the press conference.

"Law & Order: Flight (#9.4)" (1998)
D.A. Adam Schiff: This man hurt his boy because he was depressed?
Jack McCoy: He's the man in the gray flannel suit, Adam...
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: ...with a syringe in his pocket.
D.A. Adam Schiff: When I'm in the dumps I have a scotch and put on Louis Armstrong.

A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Downing sniffed out the arrest and took off. He's been spotted in New Jersey.
Jack McCoy: The airport?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: At the Eden Motel in Secaucus. Curtis wants us to meet him there.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Route 3, west of the Turnpike.
[Jack and Abbie look surprised that he knows where the motel is]
D.A. Adam Schiff: You can see it from the highway.

Jack McCoy: Allgen dodged the bullet.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Let it go. Companies make business decisions everyday that kill people. Spend a few bucks more on a brake assembly, save a hundred lives.
Jack McCoy: A car is not a deadly weapon.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Do we prosecute the gun manufacturers for shooting deaths?
Jack McCoy: Well, maybe we should. Hiding behind a corporate logo doesn't absolve these people of responsibility.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Where does it end? The paper mill that makes the boxes that hold the bullets... Lock up the criminals. Let the legislators and the civil juries worry about the other nonsense.

"Law & Order: Big Bang (#4.16)" (1994)
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: He's not your typical killer.
D.A. Adam Schiff: He is! He killed somebody.

Adam Schiff: Terrific. Now to win a larceny trial all we have to do is prove how the universe ends.

[after convicting a physics professor of 2nd degree murder]
Ben Stone: But on the other hand he killed a woman, so I had to play it by the book.
Adam Schiff: You feel bad about that?
Ben Stone: Twenty-five years - he's not your typical killer.
Adam Schiff: He is - he killed somebody.

"Law & Order: Atonement (#6.18)" (1996)
D.A. Adam Schiff: If you'll pardon my ignorance, isn't your theory getting to be like theirs? They say he was an outraged boyfriend, you say he was an outraged would-be boyfriend.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: There's a world of difference between a jealous lover and some horny bastard who's mad he can't get to first base.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Eloquent. Can't wait for your closing argument.

D.A. Adam Schiff: Scannel is a major drug dealer. This Johnny Stivers works for him. Stivers doles out drugs to Sharon Lasko. Wild idea, but her death just might have something to do with drugs.

D.A. Adam Schiff: [last lines] This kid falls in love with a girl he has no chance in the world to get.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: And in a stupid, hopeless attempt to impress her, he shows her a million dollars worth of cocaine.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Yeah, I guess etchings don't work anymore.
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: And as a result he ends up having to kill her.
D.A. Adam Schiff: A story for Sophocles.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Or Larry, Moe and Curley.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Yeah. I always loved those guys.

"Law & Order: Humiliation (#6.7)" (1995)
Adam Schiff: [to Claire] First murder conviction, no chance of appeal, you should be dancing in the streets.

Claire Kincaid: You two sound like you feel sorry for him.
Adam Schiff: I don't feel sorry for him, I feel sorry for me, and every other married man going home tonight.

Adam Schiff: [after Danforth's conviction] That ought to keep a lot more car doors closed during the drive straight home from work at night.

"Law & Order: Sanctuary (#4.19)" (1994)
Adam Schiff: What happened to "Give me your huddled masses"? What the hell has happened to this city?

EADA Ben Stone: Better to light a match than curse the darkness.
Adam Schiff: Be careful you don't light a fuse.

Adam Schiff: ...after twenty years in this office, you'd think you'd have a sense of reality.
Ben Stone: Reality? The reality is that no one is willing to draw a line in the sand. Nobody is willing to say that the law is the law. And if you break it, you will be prosecuted: win, lose or draw.

"Law & Order: Pro Se (#6.21)" (1996)
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: [referring to Smith's earlier plea bargain for stalking] We don't owe anyone an apology.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Good thing you're not writing the press release.

Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: [referring to Smith] His first trial, and he knows just enough law to turn it into a circus.
D.A. Adam Schiff: A circus? Three counts of murder? He's taking it seriously.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Then why doesn't he plead insanity?
D.A. Adam Schiff: Because he's insane!

A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: [after Schiff has told her to take a plea bargain to save money] Three people are dead, and you're counting pennies?
D.A. Adam Schiff: I can count bodies as well as pennies. You're not using this office to make up for your mistake.
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: [irate] My mistake was following your lead, Mr Schiff! I cut a deal the way you like them: quick, cheap, and out the door!
D.A. Adam Schiff: You're off this case, as of now.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Adam!
D.A. Adam Schiff: She can do other cases; she can take a cruise; she can plant a garden; I couldn't care less!

"Law & Order: Survivor (#7.4)" (1996)
D.A. Adam Schiff: Juries love rich defendants; they throw fancy victory parties.

D.A. Adam Schiff: And our Swiss banker friends...
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: ...who stole the coins in the first place.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Yeah. What refugees are they taking deposits from now, as they yodel their way to the bank?

"Law & Order: True North (#9.9)" (1998)
D.A. Adam Schiff: File the notice, Miss Carmichael, we're seeking the death penalty.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: We told the Canadians we wouldn't.
D.A. Adam Schiff: I changed my mind.

A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: They're putting Stephanie on the stand.
D.A. Adam Schiff: To explain everything away.
Jack McCoy: Let her try.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Yeah, you're going to be the first man to get the better of her.

"Law & Order: Past Imperfect (#7.22)" (1997)
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Turns out Sonja Harlann was Lancer's kid. She gets her 50 million dollars.
Jack McCoy: [sheepishly] Good for her.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: And Silverman collects his 17 million dollar fee. No wonder everybody hates the legal profession.
Jack McCoy: [pause] Make sure Douglas Burke gets a full transcript of Sonja Harland's allocution. This way there'll be something to collect when he sues her and Mr Silverman for his mother's wrongful death.
D.A. Adam Schiff: [wryly] Lawyers!
D.A. Adam Schiff: [fade to closing titles]

D.A. Adam Schiff: Nice going. You made her cry. That should win you points in the jury room.
Jack McCoy: [sarcastically] Sure. She had a rotten childhood and I feel sorry for her. If she hadn't left her mother to bleed to death on the floor, I'd give her a big hug.

"Law & Order: Divorce (#8.16)" (1998)
[last lines]
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Redfield agreed to full restitution of the missing assets, and he gets off with having his license pulled for three years. He'll probably count this as a win.
Jack McCoy: He can drive up to Bedford and crow to Atkins about it.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Where on earth did these people learn their ethics?
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Law school.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Of course.

D.A. Adam Schiff: [Hands a letter to McCoy] Addressed to me, belongs to you.
Jack McCoy: From the Bar Association Ethics Committee.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Dues check bounced?

"Law & Order: Virus (#3.19)" (1993)
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: Judge Pate thinks the Constitution was written on a laptop. You don't like what it says, push a button, rights appear out of nowhere.
D.A. Adam Schiff: The crying towels are in the closet down the hall.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: We had that kid dead to rights. Now we can't use any of the evidence, not even his name.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Oh, I didn't know that the Bill of Rights was written to make your life easier.

D.A. Adam Schiff: A leap like that, they'll put you in a Nike commercial.

"Law & Order: Manhood (#3.21)" (1993)
D.A. Adam Schiff: "Ministers of God..." Unbelievable. But this isn't motive.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: It establishes intent and state of mind.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Congratulations. You have flour and water. Get an oven, you can make bread. What connects state of mind to the crime?

D.A. Adam Schiff: No, only your most crucial evidence...
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Half the precinct knows who wrote that memo. How can I prove it? She could've let it in.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Judge Larkin? Her politics aren't with you when the law is against you.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: We have to connect the memo to Rhodes.
D.A. Adam Schiff: What about the kid that brought it in? The partner?
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: He says he didn't know.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: Tell me you believe him.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: I put him on the stand, he'll lie. He's scared of what the other cops will think.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: Is that what he's scared of?

"Law & Order: Cherished (#9.1)" (1998)
ADA Jack McCoy: Arresting a seven year old kid for murder? A kid with a laundry list of psychological problems? What was Carmichael thinking?
D.A. Adam Schiff: Why don't you ask her?
ADA Jack McCoy: I will. And I don't like the way she got the parents removed as guardians.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Sounds like you're sorry you didn't think of it first.

ADA Jack McCoy: [discussing Abbie] Her tactics are high-handed, and she doesn't have enough experience for major felonies. Four years in Special Narcotics is nothing.
D.A. Adam Schiff: A 95% conviction rate isn't nothing. She's earned her stripes. Work with her.

"Law & Order: Burned (#8.9)" (1997)
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Adam, why are we pussyfooting around?
D.A. Adam Schiff: [referring to Anderton] The man has a 4 billion dollar war chest. Three years ago, the Atlantic Star Cable merger, he took on the SEC and won.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: [sarcastically] He's rich; he's powerful; maybe we should let Robin Leach try the case?

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: [referring to Carl Anderton] Last year he made a surprise takeover bid for Commonwealth Airlines. One week later, he withdrew the bid, and accused the FAA and the stockholders of conspiring against him. It's classic manic-depressive behavior.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Doesn't make sense. Runs a Fortune 500 company.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: So did Howard Hughes.

"Law & Order: Showtime (#7.17)" (1997)
Adam Schiff: Started with a murder, ends with an execution. You got what you wanted. Take the rest of the week off.
Jack McCoy: It's Friday, Adam.
Adam Schiff: So it is. See you on Monday.

Jack McCoy: [discussing media coverage of the case, in Schiff's office] How things look to some general audience is not relevant in the courtroom.
Adam Schiff: Oh, will you wake him up, Miss Ross? We're approaching the 21st century. It matters, Jack! When are you going to buy a new tie?
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: [cut to Ross and McCoy approaching the courthouse] You can't just turn off all the cameras and the microphones.
Jack McCoy: What's next? Timeouts for commercials? We go into court with soft drink logos on our backs?

"Law & Order: Homesick (#6.22)" (1996)
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: [after Lila Crenshaw's first trial has resulted in a hung jury, following the defence's accusation that Mrs Karmel put her career ahead of her son] On retrial, we'll pick a more enlightened jury.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Yeah - find me twelve citizens who think a woman's place is closing billion-dollar deals in Chicago.

D.A. Adam Schiff: Uh oh, this isn't going to be good news, is it?
Jack McCoy: Is it ever?

"Law & Order: Empire (#9.20)" (1999)
D.A. Adam Schiff: If you wound a rhinoceros, make sure you have a tree handy.

Jack McCoy: [after Spector has been found guilty] We brought down the rhino, Adam. The system won.
Detective Lennie Briscoe: So how come he's the one doing the celebrating?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Bail continued pending his appeal, which could be two years from now.
D.A. Adam Schiff: That's not why. Don't you people read the business section? As of last night his bond for the stadium is fully subscribed.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: So killing Sanderson gave him enough time to get his finances in order.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Groundbreaking ceremony's next week. I got my invitation this morning.
Jack McCoy: A hollow victory, Adam. He'll be watching the games live from his stadium on television, along with his fellow inmates.
D.A. Adam Schiff: He's still got a better seat than Sanderson.

"Law & Order: Disciple (#9.15)" (1999)
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: [referring to Hallacy] You really believe she heard the voice of St Michael?
Jack McCoy: I don't doubt she thinks she did.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Can we convince a jury she didn't?
D.A. Adam Schiff: They tried that with Joan of Arc.

D.A. Adam Schiff: [referring to Hallacy] All right, split the difference. Prove that a saint can commit a murder.

"Law & Order: Paranoia (#6.6)" (1995)
D.A. Adam Schiff: Are you kidding? Shelly' Kates could convince a jury that Jeffrey Dahmer had an eating disorder.

[last lines]
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: Shelly didn't seem to be quite on her game today.
Jack McCoy: We won, Claire, don't you get paranoid on me now.
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: Why not? It seems to be contagious. The dean told me half the campus requested single room dorms.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Why not? A little paranoia could be the key to a long life. Who ever really knows the person sharing their bedroom?
[Jack and Claire look at each other]

"Law & Order: Rebels (#6.2)" (1995)
D.A. Adam Schiff: You say we're stymied because this Phantom says he's a journalist?
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: He's arguing that his contributions to the electronic bulletin board qualify him as a reporter under the Journalist Shield Law.
D.A. Adam Schiff: That law only applies to professional journalists. This electronic thingamajig pay him?
Jack McCoy: Only in the admiration of his peers. But he has sold couple of articles to Biker Mommas magazine.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Who's hearing the motion?
Jack McCoy: Judge Conners.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Oh, good. I don't think she subscribes.

D.A. Adam Schiff: Was this boy wearing the jacket or wasn't he?
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: We'll find out.
Jack McCoy: We might've found out already if we didn't have to keep popping in here every hour to report.
D.A. Adam Schiff: You'll report here whenever I tell you to.

"Law & Order: Golden Years (#4.11)" (1994)
Adam Schiff: Young people get impatient with old people. Especially cantankerous ones.
Ben Stone: Oh yeah? Speaking from personal experience?
Adam Schiff: I'm a sweetheart. And I'm middle aged.

Adam Schiff: You and the girl's lawyer want to pressure her into pleading to a lesser charge that she might *not* be guilty of so she won't be convicted of a more serious charge that she *might* be guilty of? Does that make sense?
Ben Stone: With our system and imperfect knowledge? Yes.

"Law & Order: Discord (#4.3)" (1993)
D.A. Adam Schiff: [Julia's decided not to testify] It's for the best, it'll save us trying to explain what the hell that girl was doing in his room after midnight.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: We don't ask a 70 year old mugging victim what he was doing riding the subway alone at night.
D.A. Adam Schiff: We should, it would make our jobs easier.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: You're right, there'd be no more victims.

Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: She said no.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Sure, and I tell my grandson 'Your mother doesn't want you eating candy before dinner', but if I leave him alone with a jar full of M&Ms...
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Julia Wood is not a piece of candy, Adam.
D.A. Adam Schiff: To Clarence Carmichael, she is.

"Law & Order: The Fertile Fields (#2.19)" (1992)
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: We gave him immunity as quid pro quo for his testimony. He lied. That's got to break the deal, common sense!
D.A. Adam Schiff: Common sense has nothing to do with it. A man waives his Fifth Amendment rights by testifying.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Whether he tells the truth or not!
D.A. Adam Schiff: It doesn't matter, he's entitled to immunity. Do you think he killed his brother?
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: No, I think he's protecting someone.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Uh huh. Alright, then we threaten him with perjury. The idea of four years in Attica should scare the hell out of him. He'll talk.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: The alternative might scare him a lot more. I don't think he's protecting a friend. The man's scared.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Well I can't say that I blame him. He saw what happened to his brother.
D.A. Adam Schiff: A man is desperate enough to steal from his own family? Subpoena his personal records and find out who he owes money to.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Adam, banks kill with a thousand cuts, not with a whack on the head.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Some lenders are in a bigger hurry. Ezra dies, Isaac gets the business. It's a very good way to ensure prompt payment.

Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: You don't believe I can win, do you?
D.A. Adam Schiff: I believe that you've got a hell of a mountain to climb in your summation. Isaac's lack of credibility translates into reasonable doubt!
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: The jury could find Tashjian technically not guilty.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: And we all know he killed Ezra Shorr.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Our knowledge is a long way from proof.

"Law & Order: Ritual (#8.10)" (1997)
D.A. Adam Schiff: [to Jamie Ross] You make one heck of a meter maid.

D.A. Adam Schiff: Hold your heads up. You looked a 3000 year old abomination in the eye and hit it back.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Because we heard of it.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: How many more don't we know about?

"Law & Order: Loco Parentis (#10.10)" (2000)
D.A. Adam Schiff: What did Potter Stewart say about pornography?
Jack McCoy: "I can't define what it is, but I know it when I see it."

[last lines]
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Sandra Telford had her husband served with divorce papers at Rikers.
Jack McCoy: Sacrificed her marriage to save her son's.
D.A. Adam Schiff: She spoke up sooner, she might have saved Chris Skinner.
Jack McCoy: Want to put her in jail, too?
D.A. Adam Schiff: Don't tempt me.

"Law & Order: Venom (#9.7)" (1998)
Adam Schiff: What? A mother and son killing each other's spouses. What the heck kind of family is this?
Abbie Carmichael: A dysfunctional one.

Jack McCoy: And Liann Crosby gets away with murder.
Adam Schiff: It could be worse. She could have had twins.

"Law & Order: Double Blind (#7.6)" (1996)
D.A. Adam Schiff: A manic-depressive commits suicide: somebody call Ripley's.

"Law & Order: Mother's Milk (#10.12)" (2000)
[last lines]
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Judge Steinman gave Amy Beltran one and a half to four and a half years in prison.
D.A. Adam Schiff: With one year for Jimmy Beltran, that's less three years between the both of them. Talk about a throwaway child.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: [Adam leaves] I'm not happy about this.
Jack McCoy: You tried the case you had.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: But I chose the case.
Jack McCoy: Tomorrow is another day, Abbie.

"Law & Order: Hate (#9.10)" (1999)
D.A. Adam Schiff: U.S. Attorney called, asked if there's a civil rights prosecution here.
Jack McCoy: Far as we can tell, this wasn't a bias crime. The victim was one of their own.
D.A. Adam Schiff: What's the matter, they run out of people to hate?

"Law & Order: Hunters (#9.13)" (1999)
Jack McCoy: No crime, no coverup. Three people dead, and no one's accountable.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Justice on a budget. What did you end up charging them with?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Tampering with evidence. An "E" felony.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Oh.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: We arraigned them. They posted bail: 2000 dollars. And they walk away from three murders.
Jack McCoy: We can always hope they jump bail.

"Law & Order: Night & Fog (#3.13)" (1993)
D.A. Adam Schiff: This office doesn't care about Poles or Nazis any more than it does about Serbs or Croats. We're not in the evil business, we're in the crime business.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Adam, I may be wrong but I thought that, of all people, you would want...
D.A. Adam Schiff: The man killed his wife. Try him, convict him. That's all I want.

"Law & Order: The Secret Sharers (#1.18)" (1991)
Adam Schiff: If Judge Markham doesn't dismiss, the whole thing is circumstantial. The girl works for a priest no less. To a jury, she's practically got a halo.
Ben Stone: Do you have any helpful suggestions?

"Law & Order: Denial (#8.2)" (1997)
[last lines]
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Baby's dead, and no one's responsible.
D.A. Adam Schiff: No one was responsible when it was alive, either.
Jack McCoy: Warren Talbert's still in jail. We could get him for obstruction of justice, destruction of evidence.
D.A. Adam Schiff: [wearily] We got beat. Just send him home to his family.

"Law & Order: Born Bad (#4.9)" (1993)
D.A. Adam Schiff: You can't force the other side to play. You put a check in the win column and you count your blessings.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: In any other circumstances, that's exactly what I'd do.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Why does this kid deserve such special attention?
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Because he's pleading for the wrong reason. His lawyer tells him that he's born bad. We tell him he's raised bad. He buys both stories. Sees his life as a dead end.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Maybe he knows his life better than you do. Your job is to convict not to rehabilitate.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: He's a 14-year-old kid who gave up.
D.A. Adam Schiff: So you're doing him a favor.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: If he gave up his illusions, right, but he gave up hope and I drove him to that. Now anything might happen to that kid in prison.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Gary Gilmore. Westley Dodd. Two unrepentant killers. Everybody wants them dead until they agree and then we turn them into folk heroes.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: We had nothing to do with their fates.
D.A. Adam Schiff: You want them to start naming churches after you, I'd get another profession. Take the kid's plea. Move on to the next case.

"Law & Order: Turnaround (#7.16)" (1997)
D.A. Adam Schiff: [to Jack] I want you to kick the living daylights out of Neal Gorton! Dig up Thomas Dewey if you have to, I want a conviction!

"Law & Order: Conspiracy (#3.2)" (1992)
Adam Schiff: Blame it on the CIA. They haven't been fingered in years.

"Law & Order: Censure (#4.14)" (1994)
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: I don't think this has to do with Ben. It has to do with me. I had a prior working relationship with Thayer.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Oh, really? Doing what?
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: I was his clerk.
D.A. Adam Schiff: And? And what's the problem, Miss Kincaid?
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: I had an affair with him.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Well that's just dandy.
Ben Stone: You... you had an affair? Why the hell didn't you tell me this?
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: I told you to take me off the case.
Ben Stone: I would have, if I'd known this!
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: I'd hoped there was some part of my personal life I could keep personal.
Ben Stone: Oh, great!

"Law & Order: Happily Ever After (#1.5)" (1990)
Adam Schiff: What is it, greed? Power? Evil!
Ben Stone: I thought you didn't believe in evil.
Adam Schiff: I never met Janet Ralston before.
Ben Stone: She's either evil or she's two years old. She wants what she wants when she wants it.
Adam Schiff: That's brilliant.

"Law & Order: Refuge: Part 1 (#9.23)" (1999)
D.A. Adam Schiff: Malenkov, Tolstonog... No wonder I never got through "War and Peace".

"Law & Order: Legacy (#7.10)" (1997)
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Almost a record! They convicted him in an hour and a half.
D.A. Adam Schiff: How's the Wife doing?
Jack McCoy: Shaky but she served him with Divorce Papers on his way out of the Court Room.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Gotta be tough finding out you married your stalker.

"Law & Order: We Like Mike (#7.20)" (1997)
D.A. Adam Schiff: Nice to know the entire criminal justice system rises or falls on the decency of a Mike Bodack.

"Law & Order: Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die (#1.4)" (1990)
Ben Stone: If we plead him out, he only serves 3 years!
Adam Schiff: If you don't plead him out, he serves NO years.
Ben Stone: Fine! Take a plea! YOU tell the Bartletts the news.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: 'Your daughter's life for 3 years'?

"Law & Order: Sideshow: Part 1 (#9.14)" (1999)
Jack McCoy: [referring to Dell] He's already deposed Jamie Ross over my run-in with the disciplinary committee. Now I hear he's deposed Diane Hawthorne.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Oh boy!
Abbie Carmichael: Someone fill me in here: Who's Diane Hawthorne?
Jack McCoy: She was an ADA. I had a relationship with her.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Well, now you know what Mr Dell's going to ask you at the grand jury. He's going to roast your pistachios.
Jack McCoy: He's trying to bully me.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Now you know how it feels to be on the receiving end.

"Law & Order: Blood Money (#10.8)" (1999)
D.A. Adam Schiff: Your day of reckoning isn't today.

"Law & Order: Haven (#9.12)" (1999)
D.A. Adam Schiff: This kid killed the man that was helping him, until you can tell me why, you can have all the forensic evidence in the world, you won't get a conviction.

"Law & Order: Patsy (#10.7)" (1999)
D.A. Adam Schiff: Well, you got an innocent man to confess to a crime he didn't commit. Maybe this job's getting too easy for you.

"Law & Order: Consultation (#3.10)" (1992)
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: The conspiracy is a house of cards. The slightest breeze, and it all comes tumbling down.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Only no little piggy has started huffing and puffing.

"Law & Order: Life Choice (#1.12)" (1991)
Adam Schiff: Look at us, 3 men sitting around talking about the rights women should have with their own bodies. Don't you think that's a little one-sided?

"Law & Order: House Counsel (#5.10)" (1995)
Adam Schiff: What is this, Bernie's Bargain Basement? Today's special, cop to four murders, get only five years.
Jack McCoy: When I gave Furini immunity, I had no idea.
Adam Schiff: No idea, because the blood was rushing downstream from your head and settling somewhere south of the border.

"Law & Order: Stiff (#10.23)" (2000)
Jack McCoy: [referring to David Moore and his wife] If she's incapacitated for any reason, he gets power of attorney.
Abbie Carmichael: Which means, as long as she's alive, he has access to her money.
D.A. Adam Schiff: He gave her just enough insulin to put her into a coma. Talk about threading a needle.

"Law & Order: Damaged (#8.22)" (1998)
D.A. Adam Schiff: [the rape case has been dismissed] Are you appealing the ruling?
Jack McCoy: What the hell was Judge Wright thinking?
D.A. Adam Schiff: He hasn't had a thought since the Carter administration.

"Law & Order: Conduct Unbecoming (#3.17)" (1993)
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: Bunker spent 30 years defending the Constitution. I wonder if he ever read it.
D.A. Adam Schiff: I doubt if he ever got past the Declaration of Independence: "All *men* are created equal."

"Law & Order: White Rabbit (#5.5)" (1994)
Adam Schiff: Back then, the FBI wire tapped anybody who wore a paisley shirt.

"Law & Order: Hot Pursuit (#6.5)" (1995)
D.A. Adam Schiff: Danielle Melnick. She ought to have you on retainer. Dig up this other crime, it strengthens her case.
Jack McCoy: I get it. I was supposed to ignore the fact that Leslie Harlan shot up a liquor store.
D.A. Adam Schiff: It answers the unanswered question of why the girl didn't try to escape.
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: If it really was because Trapp forced her to act like a criminal, why didn't Leslie tell us about it?
D.A. Adam Schiff: Because she knew that you'd try to use it against her. Now, look what you tried to do with it.
Jack McCoy: Look at what her lawyer did do with it.
D.A. Adam Schiff: She's not as smart as her lawyer. You are.

"Law & Order: Silence (#2.21)" (1992)
EADA Ben Stone: My father wanted me to be a doctor. I went so far as to study organic chemistry.
Adam Schiff: What happened?
EADA Ben Stone: I grew up.

"Law & Order: Old Friends (#4.22)" (1994)
D.A. Adam Schiff: I never thought I'd get a letter of resignation from you. I thought you'd be here long after I was gone.
[reveal to show he's talking to Ben Stone]

"Law & Order: Animal Instinct (#3.18)" (1993)
Ben Stone: She uses an out-of-date prison library and her work is better than anything I've seen from a Wall Street law firm.
Adam Schiff: "The truth is ugly, so we put our prophets in prison."
Ben Stone: Oscar Wilde?
Adam Schiff: Charles Manson.

"Law & Order: Ambitious (#9.21)" (1999)
D.A. Adam Schiff: I just got off with the United States Attorney; she called you an obstructionist.
Jack McCoy: Under the circumstances, I consider that a compliment.

"Law & Order: Self Defense (#3.7)" (1992)
Adam Schiff: Always think you have a smoking gun, till the smoke blows in your face.

"Law & Order: Thrill (#8.1)" (1997)
Adam Schiff: Clarence Darrow had Leopold and Leob, and who do we have?
Jack McCoy: Beavis and Butthead.

"Law & Order: High & Low (#10.22)" (2000)
D.A. Adam Schiff: See if I'm caught up... we've got the business student, bigots, bar owner...
Jack McCoy: ...the banker and the bimbo.
D.A. Adam Schiff: It's a John le Carré novel.

"Law & Order: Kids (#4.15)" (1994)
D.A. Adam Schiff: Dumb, stupid and idiotic.
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: I think of her as generally fair.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Judge Sally Norton. You seen the latest figures on her reversal rate, Ben?
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Shows you what reading Bar Association reports will do to your judgement.
D.A. Adam Schiff: She gets overturned anymore she'll be upside down.

"Law & Order: Navy Blues (#8.3)" (1997)
Jack McCoy: Statement or not, the facts are on our side.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Facts don't win cases.

"Law & Order: The Pursuit of Happiness (#4.10)" (1993)
Adam Schiff: Quick, lock the door. Someone might walk in with a case we can win.

"Law & Order: Matrimony (#7.13)" (1997)
D.A. Adam Schiff: [referring to the victim and his wife] He was 74; she was 22?
Jack McCoy: Why, Adam? You want to know if she has a sister?

"Law & Order: Causa Mortis (#7.1)" (1996)
D.A. Adam Schiff: You're taking the Salva case.
Jack McCoy: Salva will plead out. An answering machine can handle it.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Nothing on the front page of The Post is that easy. You'll need a second chair.
Jack McCoy: I'm doing fine on my own.
D.A. Adam Schiff: You're not getting paid all that money to look up cases in the library.
Jack McCoy: If I need somebody, I can borrow Crocker for the afternoon.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Crocker... What do you know about Jamie Ross?
Jack McCoy: Not much. She used to work at Gorton and Steinhart.
D.A. Adam Schiff: She was married to Neal Gorton. She asked to stay on the case.
Jack McCoy: She's been in the office for less than six months.
D.A. Adam Schiff: She's had five years as a criminal defense attorney. Eight homicide trials, seven acquittals
Jack McCoy: ...and a kid in day care. I need somebody who can put in the late hours.
D.A. Adam Schiff: watch the answering machine? I like her. So will you.

"Law & Order: Admissions (#9.22)" (1999)
D.A. Adam Schiff: You're using the authority of this office like a foot on the neck.
Jack McCoy: We've done that before.
D.A. Adam Schiff: We usually have one leg to stand on.

"Law & Order: Marathon (#10.6)" (1999)
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Sabo gunned down a woman in cold blood. Briscoe and Green went through hell to nail this guy.
D.A. Adam Schiff: That's their job.

"Law & Order: Right to Counsel (#3.12)" (1993)
Ben Stone: Adam, if you were a defense attorney, and a prosecutor came to you with evidence that tended to prove that your client was innocent, what would you do?
Adam Schiff: I'd celebrate up and down Center Street, and then move to set aside the plea.
Ben Stone: Until we withdrew the charges, there wasn't a peep out of Miss Knight.
Adam Schiff: If we took the license of every incompetent lawyer in the city, we wouldn't have to recycle the New York Times.

"Law & Order: The Reaper's Helper (#1.3)" (1990)
Adam Schiff: [to Stone] You've got a copycat, a mother just shot her retarded son. She said she got the idea of a mercy killing from the Holland case.

"Law & Order: Mushrooms (#1.17)" (1991)
Ben Stone: I think I can trust Doxsee.
Adam Schiff: You "think"?
Ben Stone: I can't afford not to.

"Law & Order: Entitled: Part 2 (#10.14)" (2000)
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Why is everyone afraid of this woman?
D.A. Adam Schiff: Regina's favorite joke. The difference between lace curtain Irish and shanty Irish...
Jack McCoy: Lace curtain Irish move the dishes before they piss in the kitchen sink.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Yeah. She's shanty Irish and proud of it.
Jack McCoy: And so am I.

"Law & Order: Severance (#2.13)" (1992)
EADA Ben Stone: In a perfect world, we wouldn't have discovery. We wouldn't have pre-trial motions. Just go to trial and let the chips fall where they may.
Adam Schiff: In a perfect world, people wouldn't get shot in a parking lot.

"Law & Order: Untitled (#10.20)" (2000)
D.A. Adam Schiff: [to Jack McCoy] Can't you see the little picture for a change?

"Law & Order: Jeopardy (#6.4)" (1995)
Adam Schiff: You got around double jeopardy. You climbed Everest in your shorts. On a very cold day.