Mike Logan
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Quotes for
Mike Logan (Character)
from "Law & Order" (1990)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Diamond Dogs (#5.2)" (2005)
Detective Mike Logan: [as he tackles a fleeing but fat suspect] What's the rush, you got a date with a doughnut?

Detective Mike Logan: You're her poodle-boy, Johnny. Does she let you eat off her plate?

Detective Carolyn Barek: [discussing childhood foods] So, what did Mrs. Logan make for her boy?
Detective Mike Logan: Rum punch.
[Barek looks silently at Logan]
Detective Mike Logan: Private joke.

Detective Mike Logan: I can say 'stop, police!' and 'what's your sign?' in 15 different language.

Detective Carolyn Barek: [to Johnny] Detective Logan knows about that kind of hate, see his mother used to make him buy booze for her.
[to Logan]
Detective Carolyn Barek: Tell him about it, he needs to know.
Detective Mike Logan: Well, after the first drink it was all hugs and kisses, a few drinks later, she'd grab whatever she could find and start beating me with it. Then when she got tired of holding whatever she was hitting me with, she'd use her fists. And then the next day, it would start all over again.

Detective Mike Logan: He put more holes in mom than pop.
Detective Carolyn Barek: You noticed that too?
Detective Carolyn Barek: Unfortunately.

Detective Mike Logan: You know you should get yourself a cell phone so people wouldn't think you're talking to yourself.
Detective Carolyn Barek: Too many years working alone.


"Law & Order: Discord (#4.3)" (1993)
Det. Mike Logan: I've been eager myself. It's not a crime.

[Briscoe and Logan arrest a rock star]
Manager: We'll sue you for false arrest. We're going to get our lawyers.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Oh, lawyers. I'm so scared. You hear that, Mike?
Det. Mike Logan: Oh, I'm shaking in my blue suede shoes.

Julia Wood: I went to the bathroom. When I came out he was naked. He pinned me to the floor, he pulled up my skirt. Do you know what it's like? You're helpless. You just close your eyes and wait for it to be over.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: [pause] Julia, I'm gonna get a cup of coffee, you need anything?
[Julia shakes her head, Anita leaves the room]
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Give her a ride home.
Det. Mike Logan: We dropping it?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: No.
Det. Mike Logan: What, did she slip you a note or something?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: "Close your eyes and wait for it to be over"? This girl was raped.

Det. Mike Logan: [finding out Clarence sent the limo home after taking Julia to his room] Clarence told us he was going dancing.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: You go dancing, you don't send the limo home.

Det. Mike Logan: How does Clarence take rejection?
Sharon Carmichael: About as well as Andi when I tell her she can't have rocky road. Problem for Mike is I scream louder than she does.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: [about Van Buren] Maybe she's got some insight that we don't, what do *we* know about what's going through a woman's mind when she's being groped?
Det. Mike Logan: You forget the other girlfriend said he's a pussycat.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: But you forget she's on the payroll, we need to ask someone else.
Det. Mike Logan: Maybe the ex-Mrs. C-Squared?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: I hate to think the stories my ex-wives could tell about me.


"Law & Order: Mayhem (#4.17)" (1994)
[regarding a case where the wife cut her husband's penis off]
Lt. Anita Van Buren: She might as well have put it through the heart.
Det. Mike Logan: That's not very compassionate.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: What kind of life is this guy gonna have without... you know?
Det. Mike Logan: Maybe he's got some other life-long pursuits.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Like what? You think he plays the clarinet?
Det. Mike Logan: I hope he plays the clarinet.

Det. Mike Logan: We're going for a record.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: What scares me is the day's not over yet.

Det. Mike Logan: No problem, I'm feeding the animals. You got an asprin?

Det. Mike Logan: [after police find the dismembered penis their suspect tossed in the street] We should stack on littering too.

Det. Mike Logan: Drew Washington. Anybody that can tell us about him gets a free pass out of here.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: And everybody else gets to take a trip to the principal's office.


"Law & Order: Confession (#2.1)" (1991)
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: You ever hear about the seven stages of grief?
Det. Mike Logan: No
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: The first one's denial

Det. Mike Logan: [after beating up defenseless suspect, pulls out gun] Get on your knees.

Marie Greevey: Oh Mary, Mother of God!
Det. Mike Logan: [hearing Marie's screams over the phone] Marie? Marie! MARIE!

Det. Mike Logan: What the hell is this? You expect me to sit on my ass while my partner's killer walks around free?
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Either way, that is exactly what is going to happen. Because if the first confession is coerced, then so is the second, and the third, no matter how many times you Mirandize the suspect.
Capt. Donald Cragen: Coercion is a judgment call, Stone. My guy never laid a glove on the son of a bitch.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: That doesn't matter. If he coerced the first confession, it is still "fruit of the poisonous tree."
Det. Mike Logan: What "fruit!" What's it some stupid technicality?
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: [to Cragen] Perhaps you can explain the concept to your men, so they don't let another cop killer walk.
[starts to leave, then pauses and turns back]
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: I doubt if Max Greevey would've considered it a "technicality."


"Law & Order: By Hooker, by Crook (#1.7)" (1990)
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: [on Jasmine being bailed out quickly] Look at that. In and out.
Detective Mike Logan: Just like work.
Laura Winthrop: I'm only as fast as the man I'm with, you look like you'd be under a minute.

Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: What do you think?
Detective Mike Logan: Of a hooker who's got a lawyer looks like he spends more on clothes than I make in a year? I think whoever's paying his bill ought to adopt me.

Detective Mike Logan: Come on, Max, a lot of vics have kids.
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: Yeah, but until you have one of your own, you won't understand.

Detective Mike Logan: You Cookie Molina?
Cookie Molina: Who wants to know?
Detective Mike Logan: Hey, I thought Cookie was a girl's name.


"Law & Order: Life Choice (#1.12)" (1991)
Detective Mike Logan: Now, I don't care what you believe. Trying to prevent abortions by bombing goes way too far. I don't know how you can even *sit* here and defend it!
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: You and I both know they didn't mean to hurt anybody.
Detective Mike Logan: NO, I DON'T KNOW THAT, OKAY? Only an *idiot* thinks bombs don't hurt people.

Detective Mike Logan: What are you against, abortions or sex?
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: Abortions! I like sex.

Detective Mike Logan: It just seems odd that nobody saw her come in.
Lorraine: Really? If I was planting a bomb, I'd do *my* best to be invisible.

Jane: She comes in every week between 10:00 and 11:00.
Detective Mike Logan: You actually pay attention to what time she was here?
Jane: There's a reason it's called LAZY Jane's. *I* don't even come in until 10:00.


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Seeds (#7.2)" (2007)
Det. Nola Falacci: Homicide Investigators' Master Class.
Detective Mike Logan: I'll have to check that out some day.
[Rolls his eyes]

Det. Nola Falacci: He was killed with a family photo-cube. Interesting metaphor.
Detective Mike Logan: Is that a metaphor or a symbol, Falacci? Guess I'd have to take a Master Class to find out.

Detective Mike Logan: This guy isn't interested in anything but his own reflection.

[Last lines]
Detective Mike Logan: What can you do? It's family.


"Law & Order: Manhood (#3.21)" (1993)
Detective Lennie Briscoe: Next time you wanna get some bones broken, try falling down a flight of stairs.
Detective Mike Logan: Next time I want advice, I'll write Dear Abby.

Detective Lennie Briscoe: You remember foot patrol.
Detective Mike Logan: Yeah, what I remember most is I never thought I'd get shot.

A.D.A. Paul Robinette: [after telling the defense attorney they are going to arraign the suspect and wait for additional evidence] Five days... From here to eternity.
Captain Donald Cragen: Maybe a little closer.
[holds up a folder]
Captain Donald Cragen: Call to 911. Somebody heard the shots. Maybe they saw a face.
Detective Mike Logan: Yes!
Captain Donald Cragen: No... First you have to find him. He didn't leave a name.

Captain Donald Cragen: Did Oswald kill Kennedy? If he didn't, it's the greatest conspiracy in history and nobody said a word. 140 officers in that precinct. Nobody knew?
Detective Mike Logan: You stick your head out, it gets cut off. You gonna risk that for a gay cop?
Captain Donald Cragen: All right, I'll call Internal Affairs.
Detective Lennie Briscoe: They'll run into a wall so big, a jackhammer won't get through it.


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Senseless (#7.10)" (2007)
Detective Mike Logan: The scum that did this - if I can't get him off the street, just give me the gold watch.

Detective Mike Logan: [to the mother of a fugitive teenager] Once he's in the system, he's gone. Now you go home, and you think about that.

Detective Mike Logan: Your little brother? The guys at Rikers are going to be very happy to see him.

Detective Mike Logan: [to a murder suspect] We all laughed.


"Law & Order: Happily Ever After (#1.5)" (1990)
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: [Referring to the murder weapon] ... and guess who it was registered to?
Ben Stone: Himes, Gilbert?
Detective Mike Logan: Nope. And not to Ralston, Janet, either.
Ben Stone: [Surprised] Ralston, Alan?
[Leans his head in his hands]
Ben Stone: Great. He was killed with his own gun.

Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: I hate horseback riding. Scares the hell out of me.
Detective Mike Logan: Scary for the horse, too.

Detective Mike Logan: How many killers does it take...?
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: Take the bulb!


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: The Healer (#5.18)" (2006)
[last lines]
Detective Carolyn Barek: Faith trumps science, once again.
Detective Mike Logan: Nothing that a little calamine lotion can't fix.

Detective Mike Logan: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you go to jail.

Detective Mike Logan: Here's a little police magic. Shazam! You're under arrest.


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Tru Love (#6.2)" (2006)
Detective Mike Logan: Didn't take you for a biker chick.
Detective Megan Wheeler: In high school I worked at a pizzeria across from a motorcycle garage, the mechanics would trade rides for slices.
Detective Mike Logan: Working in high school? So mom and dad decided to teach you the value of money?
Detective Megan Wheeler: More like Dad disappeared and Mom waited tables at a diner down the block.

Detective Mike Logan: I never had a partner with freckles before.
Captain Danny Ross: 3 years undercover: drugs, vice, white collar. Nobody ever made her.
Detective Mike Logan: I'll believe it.

Inmates: [Detective Megan Wheeler and Danielle McCaskin walk into the jail. Detective Mike Logan is already waiting there for them] Inmates start to whistle and catcall.
Danielle McCaskin: No way can Keith spend one minute in here
[the municipal jail]
Danielle McCaskin: .
Detective Mike Logan: Oh, we're holding Keith at the station house now, but as soon as he gets arraigned he's gonna end up here.
Danielle McCaskin: No he won't! He's legally a juvenile!
Detective Mike Logan: Not after a few nights here he's not.


"Law & Order: Jurisdiction (#3.16)" (1993)
Detective Mike Logan: I have a little niece who's retarded, you ask her in the wrong tone to clear the table and she's Frisbeeing the plates.

James Lee Pawl: [being arrested] Probable cause, you don't have any probable cause.
Detective Mike Logan: You're under arrest because you're probably guilty.

Detective Mike Logan: [taking pill bottles out of Pawl's coat] What is this?
James Lee Pawl: For headaches.
Detective Mike Logan: Lot of headaches for a pinhead.


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Saving Face (#5.8)" (2005)
Detective Mike Logan: [to Dr. Christine Ansel] Boy, you can really switch it off. Must be a doctor thing.

Detective Mike Logan: [imagining a child's outlook] Not to mention, the only reason you're here is because your parents went back to the drawing board after your brother died. *That's* a race you can never win.

Detective Mike Logan: [to Leo Ansel] Maybe if you hadn't treated her like a spare tire, she wouldn't be in this mess.


"Law & Order: The Torrents of Greed: Part 1 (#1.15)" (1991)
Mike Logan: Hell of a welcome to America.

Mike Logan: 25 years is a long time.
Joe Pilefsky: So's dead.

[last lines]
Mike Logan: GREAT. Beigal walks, Masucci walks... and we got squat.
Ben Stone: [staring at Masucci down below] No. Masucci doesn't walk.


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Renewal (#6.22)" (2007)
Capt. Danny Ross: You have a tendency to overreact.
Det. Mike Logan: [yelling] I'M NOT OVERREACTING!

Det. Mike Logan: You don't look like Harry Campbell.
Holly Lauren: Are you friends with the landlord?
Det. Mike Logan: I hate him.
Holly Lauren: Then I'm Holly.

Det. Mike Logan: I used to dream about Lennie, he was my old partner. And in the dream he'd always say to me, 'I'm not dead, Mike, I'm not dead', then I'd wake up, and he'd still be dead.
Holly Lauren: Maybe not, if you dreamt about him.


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Assassin (#7.14)" (2008)
Detective Mike Logan: Should we hold on to him, let him sweat?
Captain Danny Ross: The beauty of a material witness.

Detective Mike Logan: You're going on a CIA-sponsored tour of all the hot spots.

Detective Mike Logan: You were too quick to kneel, to cradle your brother, to get his blood on you - on your pink suit.


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Stress Position (#4.13)" (2005)
Detective Mike Logan: Oh, the Patriot Act. Yeah, well, I read that in its original title, "1984".

[Det. Logan wants in on a case]
Captain James Deakins: As you said, we're Major Case. Let me discuss it with my detectives.
Detective Mike Logan: No problem. Maybe I'll have some of your Major coffee.

Detective Mike Logan: Oh, the Patriot Act. Yeah, well I read that under its original title, "1984."


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Watch (#5.12)" (2006)
Detective Mike Logan: It's rainin' hookers.

Detective Mike Logan: Sleep all day; work all night. Aren't you afraid you're missing out?
Duane Winslow: On what.

[Last lines]
Detective Mike Logan: [to Detective Barek] If you ever wondered why I don't have kids... now you know.


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Flipped (#6.14)" (2007)
Detective Mike Logan: You think she'll actually be safe?
Detective Megan Wheeler: Maybe Harry was just trying to protect her.
Detective Mike Logan: Maybe.

Detective Mike Logan: So that's it, Fulla T lost his life over 'Who's the Man?'


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Wasichu (#5.14)" (2006)
Detective Carolyn Barek: Just what we need, an addiction driven economy.
Detective Mike Logan: It's better than no economy.

Detective Carolyn Barek: He's lobbying for a casino *and* against it.
Detective Mike Logan: He's playing the cowboys *and* the Indians.


"Law & Order: Poison Ivy (#1.8)" (1990)
Det. Mike Logan: Max, you're drawing conclusions.
Sgt. Max Greevey: Let's just say I heard a dog bark.

Det. Mike Logan: Somebody heard that shot?
Policeman #1: In this neighborhood? You couldn't get a witness to a sunrise.


"Law & Order: Progeny (#5.12)" (1995)
Det. Mike Logan: I thought she said she hadn't spoken to her ex in over a year?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Maybe she got her dates mixed up.
Det. Mike Logan: You remember the last time you talked to your ex?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: July 17, 1994 2:35pm

Det. Mike Logan: Look, Eric, let me make this real simple. We're gonna look at your girlfriend's ID and if she's one day shy of seventeen, we're gonna sweep this entire place and what do you bet we'll find some sort of controlled substance?


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Contract (#7.12)" (2008)
Detective Mike Logan: [referring to a blackmail case] Gay sex?
Dave McElroy: No, call-girl. Think Spitzer, not McGreevey.

Detective Mike Logan: [referring to a bombing] Old-time pro who likes to keep on top of trends?
Al Petrosino: Think Tony Bennett, not Steve and Eydie.


"Law & Order: Apocrypha (#4.7)" (1993)
Detective Mike Logan: This isn't church. Church is stain glass windows and nuns running around with rulers hitting you.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: The gospel according to Logan.

Detective Mike Logan: My old lady held a rosary in her left hand while she beat the crap out of me with her right hand. Next time I go to church, six of my best friends are carrying me.


"Law & Order: Out of the Half-Light (#1.11)" (1990)
Mike Logan: [interviewing Astria in the hospital] Astria, can you open your eyes?
[she shakes her head]
Mike Logan: I think you *can*, if you *try*.

Mike Logan: Ooooooohhh.
Donald Cragen: What's that supposed to mean?
Mike Logan: It means I wonder just how much fuel this fire can take.
Donald Cragen: Implying WHAT?
Mike Logan: She's the victim, we're treating her like a suspect.


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Dollhouse (#5.10)" (2006)
Detective Mike Logan: He gives her a car; three months later he tries to shoot her. Sounds like love to me.

Detective Mike Logan: [describing a suspect] A good aim, low morals, and... expensive tastes.


"Law & Order: Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die (#1.4)" (1990)
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: How many times would you go out with her before you went to bed with her?
Detective Mike Logan: Once.

Detective Mike Logan: Are we 'your kind of people'?
Bartender: Well, you make it in the looks department, but the wardrobe needs a lot of help.


"Law & Order: A Death in the Family (#1.13)" (1991)
Sgt. Max Greevey: I don't wanna see this guy without back-up.
Det. Mike Logan: Back-up? I don't wanna see him without nuclear weapons.

Det. Mike Logan: [when someone throws a basketball at his face] Wiseass.


"Law & Order: Prescription for Death (#1.1)" (1990)
Dr. Edward Auster: You solve every case you work on?
Detective Mike Logan: We can tell a felony from a traffic ticket.
Dr. Edward Auster: Look, a patient walks in with a headache. She could have a subarachnoid hemorrhage, a berry aneurysm, a retro-orbital tumor... or does she just have a headache? Do you give her an aspirin? Or do you saw open her skull?
Sgt. Max Greevey: You make this speech at funerals?

Dr. 'Ekballa' Raza: My children want to stay in this country, my wife wants to stay, and to stay, all I have to do is to be perfect all the time!
Detective Mike Logan: Well you, uh, fell a little short of perfection on Suzanne Morton's chart.


"Law & Order: Prisoner of Love (#1.10)" (1990)
Detective Mike Logan: Died of?
Hoexter: Asphyxiation during a state of sexual arousal. You ever hear of anything so damned stupid?

Hoexter: Died of?
Hurley: Asphyxiation during a state of sexual arousal. You ever hear of anything so damned stupid? Something must have gone wrong.
Detective Mike Logan: Yeah. He died.


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Offense (#7.8)" (2007)
Coach Bloom: If you want to talk to any of my boys, call their lawyer.
Detective Mike Logan: Telling 'em to lawyer up - what a way to build character.

Detective Mike Logan: It's a question of finesse, Falacci.


"Law & Order: Cruel and Unusual (#5.19)" (1995)
Detective Mike Logan: [Going through the victim's clothes] Is this his stuff?
Detective Lennie Briscoe: Yeah, here. Watch out for lice.
Detective Mike Logan: No lice, lots of lint. Kid was travelling light.

Anita Van Buren: What would you do if you thought someone was abusing your kid?
Detective Mike Logan: This is America, I'd sue the bastard.


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Grow (#5.1)" (2005)
Detective Mike Logan: Beauty, brains, and a complete psycho. My dream girl.


"Law & Order: The Torrents of Greed: Part 2 (#1.16)" (1991)
Mike Logan: Hey, what are *you* lookin' at? Huh?


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Reunion (#7.16)" (2008)
Detective Megan Wheeler: There's a receipt here from "Max's Kansas City."
Detective Mike Logan: That used to be a happenin' place.
[Wheeler stares at Logan blankly]
Detective Mike Logan: It's an expression.
Detective Megan Wheeler: Groovy.


"Law & Order: Black Tie (#4.5)" (1993)
[an elderly witness has called the police department]
Lt. Anita Van Buren: [Hangs up phone] Any one of you have a girlfriend in a nursing home?
Det. Mike Logan: That would be Lennie.


"Law & Order: Asylum (#2.4)" (1991)
Ben Stone: The appeal is based on the defendant's Fourth Amendment rights. You didn't have a warrant when you searched his place of abode.
Det. Mike Logan: "Abode" huh? It was in the damn bushes!


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Country Crossover (#6.7)" (2006)
Detective Mike Logan: 'I love my husband so much I killed my lover'. Sounds like a great country song, too bad Curtis is too dead to record it.


"Law & Order: Second Opinion (#5.1)" (1994)
Detective Mike Logan: If it was me, I'd just have the operation.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Oh really? You got anything you'd think twice about having cut off? 7th grade, what was the first thing that made you notice Susie sitting across from you?
Detective Mike Logan: Come on, I was 13 years old.
Detective Lennie Briscoe: Oh, and everything's changed since then?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: That was the first thing that made Susie feel like a woman, and that never changes.
Detective Mike Logan: So what're you saying, Lieutenant? If you got the big C you'd just curl up with a bowl of chicken soup and a rabbit's foot under your pillow?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: What I wouldn't do, Mike, is be sitting around here eating cold pizza with you guys. No offense but in my last days I'm going to spend it with my husband and my kids.


"Law & Order: Indifference (#1.9)" (1990)
Principal Babcock: Why don't you stick to police work, *detective*?
Mike Logan: Why don't you stop trying to cover your ass, *Mr. Babcock*?


"Law & Order: Consultation (#3.10)" (1992)
Detective Mike Logan: Hey, suppose Kelani isn't the only smuggler on the plane? You think Transmission Travel gives frequent swallower miles?
Detective Lennie Briscoe: All I know is, 20 years ago, two Cuba Libres and I'd have the passenger list.


"Law & Order: Profile (#4.4)" (1993)
Detective Mike Logan: What are you gonna do, Tony? Get a lawyer in a white sheet?


"Law & Order: Mother Love (#3.15)" (1993)
[about a mother kicking her drug-addict daughter out on the streets]
Det. Lennie Briscoe: So, the mother should've allowed her daughter to shoot the family fortune into her arm?
Det. Mike Logan: Would you kick your daughter out just to save the family fortune?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: My daughter could go through my family fortune in a day and a half.


"Homicide: Life on the Street: Law & Disorder (#3.15)" (1995)
[Mike Logan is transporting a prisoner from New York to Baltimore, where he is greeted by Pembleton]
NYPD Det. Mike Logan: Detective Frank Pembleton? Mike Logan, NYPD. This is your prisoner, R. Vincent Smith.
Det. Frank Pembleton: So, whenever you decide to show up, I'm supposed to be here?
NYPD Det. Mike Logan: Hey, you're on the clock same as me, what difference does it make?
Det. Frank Pembleton: Typical Big Apple attitude.
NYPD Det. Mike Logan: Anyway, Mr. Smith here has agreed to waive extradition on a felony warrant for second-degree murder. So they call this Charm City, huh? Sounds like something you get out of a box of Cracker Jacks. Who'd want to stay in this land of enchantment?
Det. Frank Pembleton: Plenty of New Yorkers *ran* down here to Baltimore. Dorothy Parker, for example.
NYPD Det. Mike Logan: Dorothy who?
R. Vincent Smith: Parker, you illiterate.
[Logan slaps the back of Smith's head]
Det. Frank Pembleton: Dorothy Parker was the wittiest woman in America. The *toast* of Manhattan. She dies, she's cremated. Her ashes sit in a jar in some Wall Street lawyer's office for twenty years - *twenty years* - while all the New York sophisticates ham and haw, 'whatsoever shall we do with poor Dorothy's ashes?' And where does she end up? Baltimore!
NYPD Det. Mike Logan: I got two words for you guys. Babe Ruth. The Babe. King of Swing, Sultan of Swat, born right here in Baltimore. But where does he go to get his fame and fortune? New York City.
R. Vincent Smith: Edgar Allen Poe. Edgar Allen Poe hated New York so much he had to come to Baltimore to die! That's what New York does to its poets.
NYPD Det. Mike Logan: What did he die of, the local crab cakes? Enjoy your stay, Shakespeare.
Det. Frank Pembleton: You're going to jail for this murder. But thank your lucky stars it's not gonna be in New York.
R. Vincent Smith: Why do you think I didn't fight extradition? I may be guilty, but I'm no fool.


"Law & Order: White Rabbit (#5.5)" (1994)
Lennie Briscoe: What was the FBI doing in the 70s?
Detective Mike Logan: I don't know... buying feather boas for J. Edgar Hoover?


"Law & Order: The Wages of Love (#2.2)" (1991)
Detective Mike Logan: Here you go.
[Hands Cerreta a hot dog]
Sergeant Phil Cerreta: Best hot dog in the city?
Detective Mike Logan: 86th and 3rd, the Papaya Place.
Sergeant Phil Cerreta: [Takes a bite] Ptomaine city. You want this?
Detective Mike Logan: Yeah.
Sergeant Phil Cerreta: What's around here? Antonio's... go get some calimari.
Detective Mike Logan: Listen Phil, I don't eat anything that squirts ink, okay?


"Law & Order: Breeder (#4.13)" (1994)
Detective Mike Logan: [carrying out a baby] If he's a day old, call the Guinness Book of World Records.


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Dramma Giocoso (#5.16)" (2006)
Detective Mike Logan: [to the opera wardrobe manager] People told us you had a bug problem with your costumes. Like, really *big* bugs? Thirty pounds' worth?


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: To the Bone (#5.20)" (2006)
Detective Mike Logan: What, you're going?
Detective Carolyn Barek: Well, yeah. Sleep, remember?
Detective Mike Logan: You live all the way in Brooklyn. My place is right down the street.
Detective Carolyn Barek: [gives him a wary look]
Detective Mike Logan: I'll take the couch.
[smirks]
Detective Carolyn Barek: I don't believe you got a
[searches for appropriate word]
Detective Carolyn Barek: couch that big.
Detective Mike Logan: Yeah, maybe not.


"Law & Order: Everybody's Favorite Bagman (#1.6)" (1990)
Mike Logan: Lots of noise.
Sgt. Max Greevey: Plenty of warning.
[goes into the building to smoke out a perp, Logan runs around to the back]


"Law & Order: Vengeance (#2.16)" (1992)
Detective Mike Logan: [finds a Polaroid camera] Matches the cartridge box found in her apartment.
Sergeant Phil Cerreta: My son has one of those.


"Law & Order: Benevolence (#3.22)" (1993)
[searching through piles of trash]
Det. Lennie Briscoe: How many apartments are in this building?
Det. Mike Logan: 30.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Do they ALL have to eat eggs?


"Law & Order: Sisters of Mercy (#2.17)" (1992)
Det. Mike Logan: Don't nuns have curfews?
Sister Bettina: That went out with the penguin suit.


"Law & Order: The Reaper's Helper (#1.3)" (1990)
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: Do you think a lot of cops are gay?
Detective Mike Logan: No way, man. The department's got a special test. They look you in the eye, and if your left eye blinks before your right eye, they know you're gay.
[Blinks at Greevey with his left eye]


"Law & Order: Subterranean Homeboy Blues (#1.2)" (1990)
Detective Mike Logan: Trust and lawyer, that's a pair of words that don't match.
Shambala Green: How about cop and I.Q. over 90.


"Law & Order: Prince of Darkness (#3.8)" (1992)
Sergeant Phil Cerreta: We can search his apartment. You think we need a warrant?
Detective Mike Logan: Manuel's not a suspect. He's a victim. We'd be doing him a favor.
Sergeant Phil Cerreta: I like your thinking.


"Law & Order: Heaven (#2.10)" (1991)
[viewing bodies of people killed in a fire]
Det. Mike Logan: I've never seen this many. You?
Sgt. Phil Cerreta: Not in civilian life.


"Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Unchained (#5.4)" (2005)
Detective Mark Virgini: You stepped between me and my family.
Detective Mike Logan: Which family was that?


"Law & Order: The Violence of Summer (#1.14)" (1991)
Howard Metzler: If this is a rouse, you've got no cause.
Mike Logan: You think we need a cause, ant brain, huh?