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: A writer? What do you have to write about? You're not oppressed. You're not gay.
: If you do this I will eat your face!
: [to ex-wife
] Sheezus, you look like a beast.
: What is that smell? What am I sitting in? Cindy
: Relax. It's just urine. Bud Brumder
: You know your son was being a real brat today, a real pain in the ass. Cindy
: My son. Bud Brumder
: He said I was selfish. He said that everything's always about me. Cindy
: He called me a drama queen, said I was trying to sabotage him.
[Bud sees his young wife flirting with the pool guy
] Bud Brumder
: What the f...?
: [Exhales at his ex-wife
] I need a drink. Do you have any beer, Coyote Ugly?