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: Do you want me to get naked and start the revolution?
: What's your name? Lance
: Uh, Joe... John... uh, Joe-John. Firefighter
: Your name's Joe-John? Lance
: John-ston, Johnston. Joe. Firefighter
: You wanna tell me what happened here? Lance
: Uh, there was a fire, I dunno, I came by and it's... checkin out the fire. Firefighter
: Well that lady uh, Mona? She said that you two were in the building together when the fire started. Lance
: Yeah, she's a liar, cuz I dunno her so whatever, whatever she says is a lie, so... Firefighter
: K, so you're saying you weren't in the building with that woman? Lance
: No, not I! Aright, she started it, aright? Because she was like "I hate my job, I'm gonna burn this mother down!" And I said "You better not... you better not!" Firefighter
: She said it was an electrical fire. Lance
: It was. It was a total electrical fire, it was like uh, the switches had sparks comin out, and the sockets, and uh it was like the 4th of July, man! Firefighter
: Why aren't you wearing your pants, Joe? Lance
: I tripped, and uh then I had to take 'em off to run faster out of the flames...
: I think I inhaled some smoke, will you excuse me one second, I'll be right back.
[runs away in the background
: [into walkie talkie
] We got a sprinter. Five foot five, no pants, unkempt... portly.
: Lance, I want you to stay in your room. Lance
: Why? Shaun
: Because you're an embarrassment. Lance
: Dude, I never went to college and check me out. I'm kick ass!
: You banged mom?
: What are you doing lying there? Lance
: Oh, my parole officer wants to give me a drug test and I need your urine... can I score some of your piss? Shaun
: Yeah. Lance
: Awesome, man.
: Dude... dude... dude!
[Lance stops vaccuming
: Where are Bob's pain pills? Lance
: Here! Shaun
: No, this is Excedrin! Lance
: It's a decoy... I put all my stash in bottles... yellow are painkillers, they go in the Excedrin! Shaun
: Listen to me, I need Bob's pain pills! Lance
: Bob doesn't have any pain pills. Shaun
: Yes he does! Lance
: Not anymore, I sold them.
: [Stripped down to his underwear
] Shaun. Shaun... Lance
: Shaun. It's so psychedelic. Buddy, I light one match, and the building blows up.
[Giggles deviously, while Shaun looks slightly horrified
: Well, I was just tryin' to help you, bro. Shaun
] By lighting the building on fire? Lance
: Well, I was high... Shaun
: You're *always* high! Y-you're a drugged out loser. You think you're gonna' create a T-shirt company? You can't even dress yourSELF! Lance
[Lance has discovered that Shaun can't get into Stanford
: You should sue, man. This isn't right. Sue the school. Shaun
: Shut up, Lance. Lance
: Or you know what? Just go to Stanford anyway. Go there and take the classes. Don't take "no" for an answer. Just say, "I'm goin' here. Kiss my ass." Shaun
: That's actually a good idea! Lance
: What is? Shaun
: I should! I should go up to Stanford! If I talk with the dean of admissions face to face, and tell him my situation, - he's gotta let me in. Lance
: I can get you there in three hours.