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[Kuzco and Pacha are tied to a tree branch floating in a river
: Uh-oh. Kuzco
: Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall. Pacha
: Yep. Kuzco
: Sharp rocks at the bottom? Pacha
: Most likely. Kuzco
: Bring it on.
: [Both hanging from a bridge, Pacha hits Kuzco in anger
] That's for going back on your promise! Kuzco
: [Kuzco hits Pacha
] Yeah! And that's for kidnapping me and taking me back to your village! Which I'm still gonna destroy, by the way. Hehehe. No touchy!
[Pacha hits him back
: Where'd you come from, little guy? Kuzco
: No... touchy. Pacha
: Demon llama! Kuzco
: Demon llama? Where?
[Turns around and sees Misty, a real llama
: Maaah. Kuzco
: Someday, you're gonna wind up all alone, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself. Kuzko
: Thanks for that. I'll log that away.
: [after Kuzco quickly betrays him on their way back to Kuzco's Palace
] We shook hands on it! Kuzko
: You know, the funny thing about shaking hands is...
: ...you need hands.
[after telling Pacha that he intends to destroy Pacha's villiage and build "Kuzcotopia"
: But, but, um, where will *we* live? Kuzco
: Hmm. Don't know, don't care. How's that?
: Emperor Kuzco? Kuzco
: Yeah. Who did you think you were talking to? Pacha
: Um... How did... uh... you don't... *look* like the emperor. Kuzco
: What do you mean I don't look like the emperor? Pacha
: Um... do this.
: What is this, some little game you country folk like to play?
[sees his hoofed hand, gasps
: It can't be! I...
[looks at his reflection in the water
] My face! My beautiful, beautiful face! I'm an ugly, stinky llama! Wah-hah-hah! Llama face!
: Wait a minute. I remember you. I remember telling you that I was building my pool where your house was, and then you got mad at me. Oh! And you turned me into a llama! Pacha
: What? No, I did not. Kuzco
: Yes, and then you kidnapped me! Pacha
: Why would I kidnap a llama? Kuzco
: I have no idea. You're the criminal mastermind, not me. Pacha
: What? Kuzco
: You're right. That's giving you way too much credit.
: Hey, tiny. I wanna get out of this body. Wouldn't you? Now let's go. Pacha
: Build your summer house somewhere else. Kuzco
: You wanna run that by me again? Pacha
: I can't let you go back unless you change your mind and build your summer home somewhere else. Kuzco
: I got a little secret for you. Come here. No, closer.
[Pacha comes closer
: [loudly, in Pacha's ear
] I don't make deals with peasants!
: What happened? Old Man
: Well, I threw off the Emperor's groove. Pacha
: What? Old Man
: His groove! The rhythm in which he lives his life. His pattern of behavior. I threw it off. And the Emperor had me thrown out the window. Pacha
: Oh, really? I'm supposed to see him today. Old Man
: Don't throw off his groove! Pacha
: Oh, okay. Old Man
: Bewaaare, the grooove. Pacha
: Hey, are you gonna be all right? Old Man
[Pacha and Kuzco diner in disguise as a woman are approached by the Waitress
: We're on our honeymoon. Waitress
: Bless you for coming out in public.
: So what did the emperor want? Pacha
: [Unable to explain that Emperor Kuzco was planning to destroy their village to make room for his Summer home, Kuzcotopia
] Uh, you know what? He couldn't see me. ChiCha
: Couldn't see you? Why not? Pacha
: I don't know. ChiCha
: Well, that's just rude! Pacha
: Well, he is the emperor. I'm sure he's busy. ChiCha
: No no no no. Emperor or no Emperor, it's called common courtesy. If it were me, I'd march right back there and *demand* to see him. You know I would! Pacha
: Sweetie, sweetie, think of the baby. ChiCha
: Pacha, I'm fine. This baby's not coming out for a while, but even if it was, I'd give that guy a piece of my mind. That kind of behavior just, just...
: I gotta go wash something.
: Okay, once we cross this bridge, it's just an hour to your palace. Kuzco
: Good, because believe it or not, I think I need a bath. Pacha
: I believe it. Kuzco
: What's that? Pacha
: [hanging off the bridge
] Kuzco! Kuzco
: Yeah? Pacha
: Quick, pull me up! Kuzco
: No, I don't think I will. Pacha
: You're gonna leave me here? Kuzco
: Well, I was gonna have you imprisoned for life, but I kinda like this better. Pacha
: I thought you were a changed man. Kuzco
: Come on, I had to say *something* to get you to take me back to the palace. Pacha
: So all of it was a lie? Kuzco
: Well yeah. No, wait... Oh, yeah, it all was a lie. Toodles!
: When will you learn that all my ideas are good ones? Pacha
: Well, that's funny. Because I thought that you going into the jungle by yourself, being chased by jaguars, lying to me to take you back to the palace were all really *bad* ideas. Kuzco
: Oh, yeah. Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude.
[Pacha has gotten himself and Kuzco tied to a dead tree branch
: Maybe I'm just new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered kind of a step backwards, wouldn't you say? Pacha
: No, no, no. It's... It's okay. This is all right. We can figure this out.
[the branch cracks
: I hate you.
: So, you lied to me. Pacha
: I did? Kuzco
: Yeah. You said when the sun hits this ridge just right, these hills sing. Well, pal, I was dragged all over those hills and I did not hear any singing.
: So, I'll be building my summer home on a more *magical* hill. Thank you. Pacha
: Heh. Couldn't pull the wool over your eyes, huh? Kuzco
: No, no, I'm sharp. I'm on it.
[puts the model of Pacha's house back on the hilltop
: Looks like you and your family are stuck on the tuneless hilltop forever, pal.
[Kuzco and Pacha sit in silence
: You know, I'm pretty sure I heard some singing on the hill next to us. In case you're interested.
: Dad! I ate a bug today! Pacha
: Oh! Was Mom baking again? Heh. Don't tell her I said that. ChiCha
: I heard that!
: [as a parrot, whilst testing out each of the potions
] We're not getting anywhere with you picking the vials. I'm picking the next one. Pacha
: Fine by me! Kuzco
: Give me that one.
[drinks a potion and turns into a whale
: Don't you say a word.
: Why did I risk my life for a selfish brat like you? I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but, oh, you proved me wrong. Kuzco
: Oh, boo-hoo. Now I feel really bad. Bad llama. Pacha
: I could've let you die out there in that jungle, and then all my problems would be over. Kuzco
: Well, that makes you ugly *and* stupid. Pacha
: Let's end this. Kuzco
: Ladies first.
[after Pacha attempted to breathe into Kuzco's mouth after saving him from drowning to see if he was still alive
: For the last time, it was not a kiss. Kuzco
: Well, whatever you call it, it was disgusting.
: Woo-yeah! Look at me and my bad self! I snatched you right out of the air! "Ooh, I'm a crumbly canyon wall, and I'm taking you with me." Well, not today, pal! Uh-huh! Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh! Pacha
: You just saved my life!
: Hey, don't I know you? Pacha
: I... I don't think so. Kronk
: Wrestled you in high school. Pacha
: I don't remember that, no. Kronk
: Metal shop? Oh, I know, Miss Nalca's interpretive dance, two semesters. I was usually in the back because of my weak ankles. C'mon, you gotta help me out here. Pacha
: Look, I don't think we've ever met, but... I gotta go.
: Don't worry, I'll think of it!
: There's two people in there looking for you. Kuzco
: Who? Pacha
: A big guy and a skinny old woman. Kuzco
: Wait, was this woman scary beyond all reason? Pacha
: Oh, yeah! Kuzco
: That's Yzma and Kronk! I'm saved!
: Hey, Pacha, you just missed your relatives. Pacha
: My relatives? Townsman #1
: Yeah, we just sent them up to your house. Pacha
: What'd they look like? Townsman #1
: Well there was this big guy, and this older woman who was... well, how would you describe her? Townsman #2
: Ah, scary beyond all reason? Townsman #1
: Yeah, that's it.
[after saving Kuzco from some jaguars while swinging on a vine
: Don't worry your highness, I gotcha!