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: [after a car crashes into a wall during a crash test
] God, I love that.
: Marty, find out where the police are going to be taking him. Send over a bottle of bubbly with a bucket of ice and a card. Have it say, "Tough break, get drunk on me. Use the bucket to ice down your marbles, Yours, Z."
[after Tommy has rubbed air freshener on himself
] Ray Zalinsky
: Went a little heavy on the pine tree perfume there, kid? Tommy
: Sir, it's an taxicab air freshener. Ray Zalinsky
: Good, you've pinpointed it. Step two is washing it out.
[Tommy has a fake bomb strapped to himself
] Nicole Taylor, Action 8 News
: Is that why you've strapped a bomb to your chest? Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III
: Oh, this isn't a bomb. These are road flares. Ray Zalinsky
: Road flares? Did you live under power lines as a kid, or something? Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III
: Ha ha ha, why?
: Truth is, I make car parts for the American working man because I'm a hell of a salesman and he doesn't know any better. Well, son, since you're no longer a shareholder, this is where I leave you. Don't feel bad. This chain of events was set in motion a long time ago, and you and bald-headed friend, you did what you could and that's commendable. Marty, have Security see these boys out. Marty, Zalinsky's Aide
: Yes, sir. Ray Zalinsky
: Mrs. Callahan.
[greets Beverly and Paul; Paul waves "goodbye"
] Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III
: [in shock
] What's my family doing in there?
: Wait a minute, fat boy. You lost your shares to the bank. You don't even have a right to be here! Michelle
: Gee, it's funny you should bring that up, 'cause I'm not sure that you have the right to be here. Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III
: Whoa, what have we got here? Oh, my God, it's a Police Report. Ray Zalinsky
: What's all this about? Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III
: Let's see. "Paul Barrish, married May 1993 to Beverly Barrish aka Beverly Burns". Richard, how could Beverly be married to Paul and my dad at the same time? Interesting! Richard Hayden
: Yes. Provocative. Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III
: What I think it means is your marriage to my dad was never legal. Michelle
: Which also means that Beverly's shares still belong to Tommy.
: That's it! I'm not gonna take this. Richard Hayden
: Uh, uh! It's not over yet, Lee Harvey. Michelle
: Let's see... warrants outstanding: New Mexico-Mail Fraud. Colorado-Wire Fraud. And coming soon to Ohio, Computer Fraud.
[Paul makes as if to say something, then makes a break for the door
] Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III
] Get him! Ray Zalinsky
: Don't let him leave the complex, Marty. Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III
: [Paul runs into the Zalinsky auto testing center
] Hey, you forgot your wife! Paul
: Screw you! Screw all of you!
[trips over the lever that starts the crash test; car drives fast
: Not good. Ray Zalinsky
: Hit the brakes! Paul
: [screaming; car stops abruptly, sends Paul flying into a chair; a huge test bag drops down and smashes his testicles
] Aaahh! Ohhh! Richard Hayden
: Ooh! That will ruin his weekend.
: What the American public doesn't know is what makes them the American public.