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: Harold where're you going? Lamar
: I don't know but I'd guess over to Lois. Takashi
: Are you scoing, Harold? Harold
: Well I wouldn't tell you if I was. But I'll guarantee you this much, I ain't going over there for breakfast!
: Hey. What's Trevor Gulf doing? Jeanie Humphrey
] I-I think he's mooning us. Lewis Skolnick
: That's no moon, thats the San Joquin valley
[shouts, running at Trevor as people began to react off-screen
] Lewis Skolnick
: TREVOR, NO! Takashi
: [takes photo of Trevor's mooning
] Oh! Big Smile!
: The bishop has a kidney stone, he no make it to wedding! Dudley Dawson
: How am I supposed to get married without a clergyman? Mr. Skolnick
: I could marry you. Dudley Dawson
: But I don't love you.
: Smile pretty, smile pretty.
[Takashi takes a photo with his camera
: Thank you. Lamar
: Name tags, name tags anyone? Takashi
] Right there, right there, a picture. Lamar
: Excuse me, would you like a "Hello, my name is" tag? Romeo
: How nerdy can you get?
: Hey everybody, everybody! Booger's parents are here! Mr. and Mrs. Booger, Mr. and Mrs. Booger!
] Dudley Dawson
: Mom? Dad! Chip
: They look like they just fell off a pickle truck. Gaylord
: [slaps Chip
] Chip! Chip
: Ow! Dudley Dawson
: Folks, everybody, excuse me, these are my parents. Everybody
: Oh! Betty Skolnick
: We're so glad that you're here, Mr. and Mrs. Dawson.
] Dudley Dawson
: I am flabbergasted. We would both like to thank all of you from the bottom of our hearts for this... wonderful shower you're throwing us. Lewis Skolnick
: It's probably the first shower he's ever had.
] Mr. Dawson
: No, he showered regularly: every other night in the summer, and weekly in the winter.
] Dudley Dawson
: Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to jump off the dock! Ogre
: Okay, all right, anybody who feels that Booger could have had an illegitimate child in Sandusky, Ohio, raise your right hands.
[Most of the Tri-Lambdas raise their hands at first, followed by Ogre and Betty
] Lewis Skolnick
: Opposed? Betty Skolnick
: You don't think it's possible? Lewis Skolnick
: No, I do not; Booger may be Booger, but he always took precautions. Lamar
: That is right, he always did wear condoms. Takashi
: Ohh, condoms! Lamar
: Mm-hmm. Trevor Gulf
: So, he couldn't have a child. Lewis Skolnick
: No way.
: Oh, I made it! Ogre
: Great shot, Takashi you owe me another 20 bucks. Takashi
: Huh? Ogre
: Well, sometimes when you win, you lose. Now let's play for your watch. Takashi
: Okay, thank you Ogre
: You're welcome.
: Oh boy, that was one heck of a stag party last night, Lewis. Mr. Dawson
: I know I'll never forget it. Trevor Gulf
: I especially enjoyed your dance with the woman who removed her clothes, Mr. Booger. Lewis Skolnick
: Trevor, there's a code of silence about what goes on at a stag party. Trevor Gulf
: Code of silence? Lewis Skolnick
: So reveal nothing, even if you're under hours of interrogation and torture. Ogre
: Wild horses couldn't drag it out of me.
: Uh, who aren't I supposed to tell?
: [Mr. Skolnick's car pulls into the driveway
] Dad! Dudley Dawson
: U.N.! Mr. Skolnick
: [Mr. Skolnick and U.N. get out of the car
] Hey, how are you? U. N. Jefferson
: [Lewis hugs his dad, U.N. shakes hands with Booger
] Congratulations, Booger, congratulations! Dudley Dawson
: Thank you. U. N. Jefferson
: I wouldn't miss a nerd wedding for the world. U. N. Jefferson
: [greets Lewis, Mr. Skolnick greets Booger
] How are you? Mr. Skolnick
: How's my unborn grandson? Lewis Skolnick
: You mean your unborn fetal son?
[Lewis and his dad guffaw together
: Emergency! Excuse please, the bishop has a kidney stone, he no make it to wedding! Dudley Dawson
: What? How am I supposed to get married without a clergyman? Mr. Skolnick
: I can marry you. Dudley Dawson
: But I don't love you. Mr. Skolnick
: Oh- No, no, I took a correspondence course, I'm a fully ordained Tilhoonian minister. U. N. Jefferson
: You are? Mr. Skolnick
[Takashi, Booger, Lewis and his dad all guffaw together, while U.N. Jefferson stands quietly surprised, not getting the pun
: Excuse please, but why do they call you "booger"? Booger
: [picking his nose
] I don't know.
[Booger is teaching Takashi poker
: I think I've got a frush. Booger
: What the fuck's a frush? Takashi
: [showing his royal flush
] A *frush*. Booger
: [showing his cards
] Oh, well I've got two sevens and two sevens beats a frush. Takashi
: Oh, thank you.
: Maybe we could have robster craws. Booger
: [adjusting his shirt
] What the fuck are robster craws?
[Booger and Takeshi are trying to look at a naked girl who hides behind a large roommate
: Step aside momma, I wanna see some of that muff! Takashi
: Oh Hair pie! Hair pie!
: Didn't I tell you we would find a nice place? Gibert
: Yes, this is way better than the dorm.
[Brick is hurled through the window
: What was that? Gibert
: It says: "Nerds get out!" Takashi
: What is a nerd? Gibert
: *We* are.