Percy Jones
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Quotes for
Percy Jones (Character)
from Guess Who (2005)

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Guess Who (2005)
Theresa: I was just showing Simon around the house.
Simon Green: You have a very nice house, Mrs. Jones.
Marilyn: Thank you, Simon. You can call me Marilyn.
Simon Green: You too, Mr. Jones.
Percy: Thank you, Simon. You can call me Mr. Jones.
[Marilyn gives him a dirty look]
Percy: Just kidding.

Percy: I don't want to hear about you sleeping with my daughter - you're sleeping with me now.

Howard Jones: You didn't tell me he was white!
Percy: Yes, I did, back at the retirement home.
Howard Jones: I thought you was kidding.

Howard Jones: You don't hear me calling no white folks honky and flat-ass!
Percy: Casper.
Howard Jones: Cracker.
Percy: Ofay.
Howard Jones: Peckerwood.
Percy: Wonder bread.
Howard Jones: Bird shit.
Percy: Bird shit?
Howard Jones: Well, it's almost white.

Percy: If you're gonna marry one of these women, sometimes it's gonna hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right.
Simon Green: She's right?
Percy: That's right.
Simon Green: Always?
Percy: Right.
Simon Green: Right.
Percy: That's right.
Simon Green: All right okay, what about all that talk about my dignity?
Percy: Do you love her? Do you want her? Then she's always right.

Percy: Hi. Reservation for Percy Jones.
Polly: And that's Jones with a "J"?
Percy: No, Jones with a "P". I made the reservation last week.
Simon Green: You knew you were gonna kick me out a week ago?
Percy: Son, I knew I was gonna kick you out 24 years ago... when the doctor announced it was a girl.
Polly: Here you are.
Percy: Good.
Polly: We gave your room away.
Percy: What?
Polly: Check in was at 4:00.
Percy: It's Thursday night. I'm quite sure you've got another room available.
Polly: I'm sorry. We're completely booked, and so is everyone else. There's a Shriners convention in town, actually. May help you with anything else Mr. Pjones?

Polly: Next please.
Percy: Hi, reservation for Percy Jones.
Polly: And that's Jones with a J?
Percy: No Jones with a P. I made reservation last week.