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: Pop, I've got a case that will knock your hat off! Charlie Chan
: Can remove hat without assistance, thank you.
: You talk like rooster, who thinks sun come up just to hear him crow.
: My gosh, Pop, are you a mind reader? Charlie Chan
: If mind not too small.
: You should get married and raise large family. Once you have large family, all other troubles mean nothing.
: You're lucky to have your assistant on hand, Pop. Charlie Chan
: Assistant? That you? Tommy Chan
: Sure! Charlie Chan
: Your assistance about as welcome as water in a leaking ship! Tommy Chan
: But you've always said that two men can find a clue quicker than one. Charlie Chan
: [looking from side to side
] Where is other man? Do not see other man!
: Not glad to see me, Birmingham? Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver
: Oh, it's nothing personal, Mr. Chan, but the last time we met was in Washington, and if I can remember right, there was two or three murders. Charlie Chan
: Murder is my business. Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver
: Murder's all right, Mr. Chan, but you wholesales it!
: And besides, didn't I get you a swell case? Charlie Chan
: Every time you appear, I have swell case of assorted troubles.
: I don't get it, Pop! Charlie Chan
] Fear you are weak limb to which no family tree may point with pride.
: You are smart enough to keep eyes open? Tommy Chan
: You bet! Charlie Chan
: Do likewise - keep mouth shut!
: [to Tommy
] You put two and two together and get result bigger than national debt.
: [to Tommy as he looks over Charlie's shoulder
] Please remove breath from back of my neck! Go away! Go away!
: [to a semi-conscious Tommy
] How you feeling? Tommy Chan
: My head seems to be spinning. Charlie Chan
: Oh. Then you're all right. Everything back to normal.
: [to Tommy
] Next time you try this, you experience sudden collision in rear end of pants.
: Never start anything unless I see end of road. Dr. Paul Recknik
: How are you coming along to date? Charlie Chan
: Did not say which end of road I could see.
: [looking at funhouse figures
] See one with no head? Tommy Chan
: Un-huh. Charlie Chan
: He remind me of you.
: [entering room where Charlie is being held by thugs
] Hi ya, Pa! What're you doing in there? Charlie Chan
] Like puppy who come to smell subway third rail, you will receive complete information in few moments.
Birmingham Brown, Taxi Driver
: [after knocking bad guy unconscious by breaking flashlight over his head
] Uh-oh! Mr. Chan, I ruined your flashlight! Charlie Chan
: [looking at bad guy on the floor
] Even trade... his light out, too!
: Bull in china shop is gentle creature compared to detective who make pass at man wearing glasses.
: Three murders. All different. Dog cannot chase three rabbits at same time. Manning Case like modern highway. Sooner or later come to detour.
: You are like turtle. After everything all over, you stick head out and find truth right under your very nose.
: Holiday mood like fickle girl - privileged to change mind.
: [seeing Charlie on the deck playing leap-frog with a bevy of little kids
] They seem to have you down, Mr. Chan. Charlie Chan
: Sixty summers young, sixty winters old.
Sir Stanley Woodland
: I made an important discovery this afternoon. That's what prevented me from meeting you. We can get together after this is over. Charlie Chan
] Two ears for every tongue.
Colonel Watkins, police commissioner
: Sir Stanley had so many friends, but few enemies. Charlie Chan
: Only *one* enemy necessary to commit *murder*.
: Motive like end of string - tied to many knots. End may be in sight but hard to unravel.
: Hi, Pop! Charlie Chan
] Charlie Chan
: Joy equals astonishment at seeing offspring in Shanghai.
: [seeing that Lee has no money to pay the cab driver
] Pocket book, of course, left in other suit? Lee Chan
: Believe it or not! Charlie Chan
: Eh! Old excuse like ancient billy goat - has whiskers.
: [looking at photo of his children
] Distance no hindrance to fond thoughts. Lee Chan
: [from other bedroom
] Good night, Pop. Charlie Chan
: Good night. Do not forget your prayers. May need 'em.
: Cold omelet like fish out of sea - does *not* improve with *age*.
: [to Lee
] Let capture be good lesson of virtue of silence.
: They tried to kill you too? Charlie Chan
: Spider does not spin web for single fly.
: [referring to the opium trade
] The terrific toll of life taken yearly by this insidious traffic is beyond belief. Charlie Chan
: Beauty of poppy contains sting of death.
: Long journey always start with one short step.
: One man can't move mountains, you know. Charlie Chan
: But *two* can start *digging*.
: Hasty conclusion like hind legs of mule - kick backwards.
: Soothing drink like summer shower - bring pleasant relief.
Colonel Watkins, police commissioner
: The evidence is as clear as the nose on your face. Charlie Chan
: Owner of nose cannot always see nose.
Colonel Watkins, police commissioner
: [to Andrews and Chan
] Okay, gentlemen, it's your funeral. Charlie Chan
: Hope not.
: Only foolish dog pursues flying bird.
: Got a clue, Pop? Charlie Chan
: Shot in dark sometime find eye of bull.
: A thousand pardons. Assault and battery not permitted without license from boxing commission.
] There is old saying, 'Death is a black camel that kneels unbidden at every gate.' Tonight black camel knelt here.
[after the murder has been solved
: Clue, clue! Charlie Chan
: Too late- Save for *next* case!
: If I were a dose of poison, I'd give myself to you. Charlie Chan
: Thank you so much.
: Your theory's full of holes. It won't hold water! Charlie Chan
: Sponge is full of holes. Sponge holds water.
: Always harder to keep murder secret than for egg to bounce on sidewalk.
: [about his assistant Kashimo
] Can cut off monkey's tail, but he's still monkey.
: Way to find rabbit's residence is to turn rabbit loose and watch.
] Look here, Inspector, I haven't time to sit around for Chinese picture puzzles! My ship sails at midnight! Charlie Chan
: You are rejected suitor. Alan Jaynes
: But I've given you an airtight alibi. Charlie Chan
: Sorry, but alibi have habit of disappearing like hole in water.
: Would you be surprised if I asked you to arrest a murderer? Charlie Chan
: No, all foxes come at last to fur store.
: Alas, mouse cannot cast shadow like elephant.
: Secret of this case harder to determine than alley cat's grandfather.
: Kashimo, I despair trying to make you smart man. Soap and water never can change perfume of billy goat. Kashimo
: Think we make mistake? Charlie Chan
: Who can say? Even wisest man sometimes mistake bumblebee for blackberry.
: Learn from hen- Never boast about egg until *after* egg's birthday.
: [in car being driven by Chan
] May I ask your, uh, continued assistance? Sometimes very difficult to pick up pumpkin with one finger. Tarneverro
: [reacting to Chan's poor driving
] Have you been driving long? Charlie Chan
: No. At first I'm pretty bad driver. But now me and road turn corner same time.
: You quench fire of my curiosity with handful of *straw*!
: [after finding a desperate letter from the murdered woman
] Always happens- When conscience try to speak, telephone out of order.
: [Opening lines
] Record indicate most murder result from violence, and murder without bloodstain like Amos without Andy - most unusual.
: Man with gun like lightning - never strike twice in same place.
: Useless talk like boat with no oar - get no place.
: Gee, Pop, what are you always stopping me for? Why don't you give me a chance to clean up this case for you? Charlie Chan
: Foolish rooster who stick head in lawnmower end in stew.
: Hasty conclusion like toy balloon - Easy blow up, easy pop.
: Confucius say, "No man is poor who have worthy son."
: [to Bagley as he is being arrested
] You lose before race start.
: Any progress yet? Charlie Chan
: Long road sometimes shortest way to end of journey.
: Truth sometimes like stab of cruel knife.
: When player cannot see man who deal cards, much wiser to stay out of game.
: Charlie, you've a very suspicious mind. Charlie Chan
: Suspicion often father of truth.
: [asking his father to bet on the race
] You want to get in on the gravy, Pop? Charlie Chan
: Smart fly stay out of gravy.
: Root of tree lie in many directions.
: Man who flirt with dynamite sometime fly with angels.
: Rabbit run very fast, but sometimes turtle win race.
: [after being kicked in the seat from behind
] Oh, gee, Pop, how'd you know it was me? Charlie Chan
: Frequent spankings when young make rear view very familiar.
] Lee Chan
: Pop, I've got another hot clue! Charlie Chan
: Save for next case please.
: Too bad you don't dance, Mr. Chan. Charlie Chan
: Mud turtle in pond more safe than man on horseback.
: Perfect case, like perfect doughnut, has hole. Inspector Renard
: Ha, I see. Same old pessimist, aren't you? Charlie Chan
: Optimist only sees doughnut. Pessimist sees hole.
: Hasty conclusion like gunpowder. Easy to explode.
: Grain of sand in eye may hide mountain.
: What'ya going to do? Charlie Chan
: Cannot see contents of nut until shell is cracked.
: Joy in heart more desirable than bullet.
: [after giving money to a beggar at aerodrome
] It is always good fortune to give alms upon entering city.
: [in a condescending pidgen English/Chinese accent
] Me happy know you. Mebbe you likee havee little drinkee? Charlie Chan
: Very happy to make acquaintance of charming gentleman.
] Charlie Chan
: Me no likeee drinkee now - perhaps later.
: Kindness in heart much better than gold in bank.
: Wait here - observe closely. Lee Chan
: Observe what? Charlie Chan
: Don't know. Good detective never ask what and why until after he see.
: Be assured we'll help you to get to the bottom of this, Mr. Chan. Charlie Chan
: Must turn up many stones to find hiding place of snake.
: We must follow. Lee Chan
: Who? Him? Charlie Chan
: Important fox must not know hounds pursue.
: Many strange crimes committed in sewers of Paris.
: Only foolish man waste words when argument is lost.
: You meddling devil! Charlie Chan
: Honorable ancestors refute suggested kinship.
: [after Chan has checked the radium in the bank safe
] Why, Mr. Chan, surely you didn't expect to find anything wrong? Charlie Chan
: In my business always expect to find something wrong...
: [as Chan leaves Ned and Paula in the restaurant
] Must you go, Mr. Chan? Charlie Chan
: Oh, quite necessary. Besides, much better for you to have dinner with young detective than with old detective.
: [annoyed that Tommy is still sitting down
] Rising generation sit too much!
: You get illegal u-turn ticket? Birmingham Brown
: Mr. Chan, I'll tell you just how it... Tommy, you tell 'im. Tommy Chan
: I warned you, Birmingham. I said, "No u-turn here." Birmingham Brown
: Yeah, that's what you said - "No, you turn here." Tommy Chan
: I said "No u-turn here." Birmingham Brown
: That's what I did. You said, "No, you turn here." Tommy Chan
: Pop, I told him, I said, "No u-turn here." Birmingham Brown
: Yeah, that's what you said - "No, you turn here," and I did. Tommy Chan
: You see what I mean, Pop? I said, "No u-turn here." Birmingham Brown
: Mr. Chan, did you hear? He said, "No, you... Charlie Chan
: Ple-please, please! U-turns, so many u-turns, you have my head spinning like merry-go-round. You remain here until I find doghouse big enough to hold both of you.
: Ancient ancestor once say, "Even wise man cannot fathom depth of woman's smile."
: People are always getting in trouble for talking too much, Pop. Charlie Chan
: Be sure you remember that.
: Cannot sell bearskin before shooting bear.
: Mice will never play so long as cat is in house.
] Visitors are supposed to be announced! Charlie Chan
] Sorry, police do not read Emily Post.
: [trapped in a cave-in as Charlie taps Morse Code
] Do you think you will get through, Pop? Charlie Chan
: If not, Number Three Son and father will join honorable ancestors. Birmingham Brown
: Mr. Chan, tell your honorable ancestors to move over and make room for me.
: [noticing Stewart who has come through a secret door
] Where'd you come from? I didn't see YOU come in? Charlie Chan
] You can see us all go out.
: Skeleton key, please! Police Inspector Harry Davis
: You know, this is strictly illegal. Charlie Chan
: Four murders much more illegal!
: Pop, I want to talk to you as man to man. Charlie Chan
: I am ready, but you still have few years to go. Birmingham Brown
: That's right.
: Can you describe Van Horn? Joe, Coffee Shop Owner
: Oh, sure. He was a sort of a short... oh, well, not too... kind of... well, he was a little bit on the heavy... oh, but his hair - oh, he had his hat on. He was just... j-just one of them mediocre guys, like you and me. Charlie Chan
: Oh, thank you so much. Yes. Splendid.
: Too many hands sometime spoil pudding.
: When alibi pushed at me, always suspect motive in woodpile.
: Detective without curiosity is like glass eye at keyhole - no good.
: Man who never leave wheelchair should never wear out shoe leather.
: If you're stuck, I'll help you out. Charlie Chan
: You are like business end of water spout - always running off at mouth.
: [referring to Tommy and Iris
] Children go through life with same tact as tornado.
: If man places self in way of finger of suspicion, must not be surprised if he receive poke in the eye. Paul Arranto
: You suspect me? Charlie Chan
: Suspicion like rain - fall upon just and unjust. You protect yourself with umbrella of innocence, but at moment I'm afraid your umbrella have big leak.
: May learn something of Germans and Japanese here. Sgt. Billings
: All I wanna know about them is what I can get lookin' over a rifle sight. Charlie Chan
: Most excellent viewpoint!
: How can man walk around after he is dead?
: You are David Blake, D.P.E. What does that stand for, please? David Blake
: Department of Political Economy. If you read your newspapers, you'd know more about me. Charlie Chan
: I, uh, know what columnists say about you in morning paper: Quote, "What David Blake does not know about political economy would fill many books," unquote.
: Now, Mrs., uh, Winters. When Miss Arranto scream, you ran out into hall? Mrs. Winters
: Well, not at first. I couldn't move. I was simply putrified. Charlie Chan
: Excuse, please, I do not believe you mean "putrified." Mrs. Winters
: My dear man, I KNOW what I mean. Inspector Jones, Secret Service
] Well, I'll be a pop-eyed pollywog. Mrs. Winters
: So will I. Oh, my goodness, I mean no such thing!
: Very strange woman, Mrs. Hargue. Tommy Chan
: Yeah, Pop. She's strictly icky, right off the cob and way off the beam. Charlie Chan
: Could possibly speak English? Iris Chan
: He means she's a slick chick gone to seed, Pop. She got bats in her head and bees in her bustle. Charlie Chan
: Language sound very strange to elderly ears. Tommy Chan
: Sure, Pop, but we're hepcats of the younger generation. You're Confucius and I'm Confucius Junior. Charlie Chan
: Conficius Junior... Please, go.
: You told to remain in hall! Tommy Chan
: We were upstairs looking for clues, Pop. Charlie Chan
: Looking for clues upstairs while murderer downstairs shooting at honorable parent. Tommy Chan
: Gosh, did they kill you, Pop?
: Murdered? But how? Charlie Chan
: Electrocution. Mrs. Winters
: Oh, how shocking!
: Hey, Pop. Charlie Chan
: Quiet. Detective at work.
: Hasty conclusion like hole in water, easy to make.
: Drop of water on thirsty tongue more precious than gold in purse.
Tom Evans, Archeologist
: She's just making a mountain out of a molehill. Charlie Chan
: Inconspicuous molehill sometimes more important than conspicuous mountain.
Professor John Thurston
: [referring to statue
] That is Sekhmet, Goddess of Vengeance. The ancients endowed her with supernatrural powers, Mr. Chan. Charlie Chan
: Mmmm. Cannot believe that piece of carved stone contain evil - unless dropped on foot.
Professor John Thurston
: Why should anyone have committed such a fantastic crime? Charlie Chan
: Very strange. Might almost believe in power of ancient goddess.
Professor John Thurston
] Why didn't you warn us? Your carelessness is responsible for that boy's death! Charlie Chan
: Most regretful. Impossible to prepare defense unless direction of attack is known.
Tom Evans, Archeologist
: [pointing to the hieroglyphs on the tomb wall
] The design alternates with the symbols of life and death. Charlie Chan
: Story of man very short.
[alternately pointing to the symbols
] Charlie Chan
: Life... death... life... death. Am reminded of ancient sage Confucious
[extending his arms out to suggest length
] Charlie Chan
: who write, 'From life to death is reach of man.'
: Regret efforts have been unsuccessful. Admitting failure like drinking bitter tea.
: Varnish on 3000 year old mummy case not completely dry.
: With back to wall can fight off demon of sleeplessness.
Dr. Anton Racine
: You have a theory about this, of course? Charlie Chan
: Theory like mist on eyeglasses - obscures facts. Dr. Anton Racine
: Our local authorities have very clear vision, Mr. Chan.
: Would so much like to see Ameti tomb. Tom Evans, Archeologist
: Tonight? Charlie Chan
: Waiting for tomorrow waste of today.
: Journey of life like feather in stream - must go with current.
: Most grateful for very able assistance. Carol Arnold
: It was terrible sitting here waiting, wondering how your plan would work out. Charlie Chan
: Courage greatest devotion to those we love.
: If strength were all, tiger would not fear scorpion.
: Hasty deduction like ancient egg. Look good from outside.
: Necessity mother of invention, but sometimes step-mother of deception.
: Greeting at end of journey like refreshing rain after long drought.
: Best place for skeleton is in family closet.
: [to psychic
] Most fortunate gift to be able to cross bridge to dwelling place of honorable ancestors before arriving.
: [to witnesses at the murder scene
] Touch nothing - until police arrive!
: Fingerprints very valuable if detective can catch owner of fingers.
: Boy Scout knife like lady's hairpin - have many uses.
: Role of dead man requires very little acting.
: Finding web of spider does not prove which spider spin web.
: I know this place inside out. It's a regulare honeycomb that starts everywhere and ends nowhere. Charlie Chan
: Will investigate honeycomb later. Maybe find bee.
: Unknown danger like summer lightning - strike when least expected.
: One man with gun have more authority than whole army without ammunition.
: ...it's like finding a needle in a haystack. Charlie Chan
: Needle can be found when correct thread located.
: [to Drake
] British tenacity with Chinese patience like royal flush in poker game - unbeatable.
: Coincidence like ancient egg - leave unpleasant odor.
: Number Two Son very promising detective... promise very much, produce very little.
: [Frightened during police interrogation
] Yes, sir, but I don't know nuthin'. I don't know nuthin' about nuthin', sir. I's completely in the dark. Charlie Chan
] Condition appear contagious.
: Say, Pop, what d'ya think about this? Charlie Chan
: Like dog chasing his own tail - getting no place.
: Looks like the kid's right again, Charlie. Jimmy Chan
] See, it's the easiest nut I ever cracked! Charlie Chan
: Easy nut to crack often empty.
: Happy situation never see light of day if truth kept in dark.
: [to Patricia
] Eye easily deceived. Same leopard can hide behind different spots.
: Come on, Pop. Let's get goin'! Charlie Chan
: Number Two get going to bed. Jimmy Chan
: Oh, but I'm not tired. Charlie Chan
: Fresh weed better than wilted rose.
: [to Jimmy
] Will inform mother that aid from Number Two Son like interest on mortgage - impossible to escape.
: Desire to live still strongest instinct in Man.
: Truth, like oil, will in time rise to surface.
: Better a father lose his son than a detective his memory.
: To speak without thinking is to shoot without aiming.
: Elusive offspring, like privacy, sometimes hard to find.
: Young man's explanation, like skin of sensitive woman, very thin.
: When Chinese Emperor have eight suspects of murder, he solve problem very quickly. Prof. Gordon
: Really? How? Charlie Chan
: Chop off eight heads. Always sure getting one criminal.
: In darkness, sometimes difficult to distinguish hawk from vulture.
: Life has been risked for jewels far less valuable than friendship.
: Sometimes quickest way to brain of young sprout is by impression on other end.
: Hours are happiest when hands are busiest.
: Man can more safely search for gold if world thinks he dig ditch.
: Dead men need no protection.
Lee Chan, #1 Son
: Gee, Pop, you sure missed a wonderful luncheon! Charlie Chan
: [at the shiprail suffering from seasickness
] Contradiction, please. Not having eaten have missed nothing. Lee Chan, #1 Son
: I had turtle soup, chicken a la king, and three cream puffs. Then I had some ice cream. Charlie Chan
: Please stop! Mention of food more painful than surgeon's knife without anesthesia. Lee Chan, #1 Son
: Shall I get you medicine, Pop? Charlie Chan
: Good dose of land only effective medicine.
: [breaking into ship cabin because of screams
] Sorry to intrude but etiquette ignored when lady in distress.
: [annoyed by Lee's whistling
] Put a muzzle on peanut whistle.
: [at testimonial dinner
] Police of New York and Honolulu have one thing in common. Both live on very small island, but while we have small volcano, you have biggest shakeup.
: Mud of bewilderment beginning to clear from pool of thought.
Chief Inspector James Nelson NYPD
: Mr. Chan? Charlie Chan
: That is humble name. Chief Inspector James Nelson NYPD
: I'm Inspector Nelson, Mr. Chan. Greetings from New York's Finest. The bigwigs expect you to tear a duck apart with 'em tonight. Charlie Chan
: So sorry, come again please? Speed Patten, Reporter New York Bulletin
: You'll have to excuse the inspector's English, Mr. Chan. He's a Brooklyn immigrant.
: Camera remember many things human eye forget.
: [referring to the tell-all diary
] No poison more deadly than ink.
: But murder like revolving door - when one side close, other side open.
: Someday hope to greet honorable brothers where roar of surf replace noise of subway and hot rhythm of Broadway cooled by strains of 'Aloha.'
: [to Lee
] Keep eyes open, and mouth *closed*!
: [to Lee
] *One* cabin not big enough for *two* detectives!
: [to Morgan
] Government work keep me hopping like dissatisfied flea from dog to dog.
Anthony R. Morgan
: Charlie, what can one man do against the entire legal force of the state? Charlie Chan
: Ancient proverb say, "One small wind can raise much dust."
: [to Birmingham and Tommy
] Always sitting! Wish you would wear out brains instead of seat of pants. Tommy Chan
: Pop, we have been thinking... Charlie Chan
: Most impossible. Birmingham Brown
: Oh, yes sir, Mr. Chan. We've been thinkin'. Charlie Chan
: And now you have a headache.
: Please continue. Mrs. Foss
: That's all I have to say. Charlie Chan
: That's what woman always say, yet go right on talking.
: [Encouraging June
] Remember old saying: "Earthquake may shatter rock, but sand upon which rock stood still right there in same old place."
] Mr. Chan, is this the shortest way to prison? Charlie Chan
: No, shortest way is commit crime.
: Skeletons in closets always speak loudest to police.
: You two not afraid? Tommy Chan
: Afraid of what, Pop? Charlie Chan
: That you sit down so often you get concussion of brain. Tommy Chan
: Pop, I got a swell idea! Charlie Chan
: Good. Save it for old age.
: I will sit in car while you two enjoy nervous breakdown.
: Being a detective is an ugly trade. Charlie Chan
: Ugliest trade sometimes have moment of joy. Even gravedigger know some people for whom he would do his work with extreme pleasure.
: Listen, are you trying to pin something on me? Charlie Chan
: [holding her skimpy dance costume
] No, merely at moment trying to figure how you pin upon yourself such very few feathers.
: Son Tommy is noisy woodpecker on family tree.
: Mind like parachute - only function when open.
: Free ticket to circus like gold ring on merry-go-round - make enjoyment double.
: Curiosity responsible for cat needing nine lives.
: [referring to Lee
] Hello, Mr. Chan. You sure got a bright kid. He gave me a good steer. Charlie Chan
: Uh, sometimes suspect anxious offspring of giving bull.
: Man who seek trouble never find it far off.
: Cannot tell where path lead until reach end of road.
: Question without answer like faraway water - no good for nearby fire.
: One grain of luck sometimes worth more than whole rice field of wisdom.
: Silent witness sometimes speaks loudest.
: Very wise to know way out before going in.
: Only very foolish mouse makes nest in cat's ear.
: Why won't he talk? Charlie Chan
: Fear is a cruel padlock.
: Suspicion is the only toy of fools.
: Every bird seeks its own tree and every tree its bird.
: I think I'll catch your act tonight, Charlie. In fact, I'll go with you. Charlie Chan
: No, please. Mice only play when cat supposed to be in bed.
: Will imitate woman and change mind.
: Any powder that kills flea is good powder.
: Knowledge short; suspicion long.
: Knowledge only gained through curiosity.
Charlie Chan Jr
: Gee, Pop, they're having as hard a time finding that plane as we are catching fish. Charlie Chan
: Fish in sea like flea on dog - always present but difficult to find.
: Good hunter never warn tiger of trap.
: Truth, like football, receive many kicks before reaching goal.
: All work and no play make Charlie Chan very dull policeman.
: Suppose husband, like toupee on bald head, used for cover-up.
: Perhaps we've been a little hasty. Charlie Chan
: Hasty accusation like long shot on horse race. Odds good but chances doubtful.
: Important lesson for good detective - when all players hold suspicious cards, good idea to have joker up sleeve.
: [Shocked that Charlie has accepted an invitation
] Zaraka? You've never met him! Charlie Chan
: Have never met Santa Claus either. Yet still accept gifts from same.
: Better for Oriental to lose life than lose face.
: A big head no more than a place for big headache,
: No man is a fool until he does something foolish.
: Only very brave mouse make nest in cat's ear.
: Events explode without warning like fireworks over passersby.
: He who waters the tree deserves the fruit.
: She tried to trick him but it didn't work. What should she have done, Charlie? Charlie Chan
: Too late now. Advice after mistake like medicine after dead man's funeral.
: Patience and mulberry leaf makes silk shawl.
: But sometimes blunt stones cut better than sharpened knife.
: If he comes to, tell him Charlie Chan is carrying on.
: Small things sometimes tell large story.
: [looking at a note written in Chinese
] What's that? A laundry list? Charlie Chan
: Much laundry, but all dirty.
: Honorable father once say, "Politeness golden key that open many doors."
: Roses and romance like tenor in opera - sing most persuasive love song.
: Man who ride on merry-go-round often enough finally catch brass ring.
: Very old Chinese wise man once say, "Madness twin bvrother of genius because each live in world created by own ego. One sometimes mistaken for the other."
: Case still wide open like swinging gate. Sergeant Kelly
: Watta yuh mean? Charlie Chan
: Gravelle not murderer. Inspector Regan
: Not Gravelle? Charlie Chan
: Excuse please, will demonstrate hypothesis. Sergeant Kelly
: What? Charlie Chan
: Word of Greek origin, hypo meaning... Sergeant Kelly
] Hypo! I get it! He's hittin' the pipe again!
Mme. Lucretia Borelli
: Is this some ridiculous attempt at saving your face, Mr. Chan? Charlie Chan
: Humble countenance merely facing facts.
] Lee Chan
: I knew we were on the right track Pop! The first time I saw Madam Borelli, I was sure she was guilty, because...
[the visor on his helmet slams shut, cutting him off
] Charlie Chan
: Case now closed.
: If you want wild bird to sing do not put him in cage.
Paul Frank, alias Geoffrey Richmond
: Aren't you rather jumping at conclusions? Charlie Chan
: No, conclusions jump at me.
Home Secretary Sir Lionel Bashford
: It's remarkable, Mr. Chan, how you ever suspected Barstow. He puts up an excellent front. Charlie Chan
: Front seldom tell truth. To know occupants of house, always look in backyard. Home Secretary Sir Lionel Bashford
: Provided there is one. Charlie Chan
: Excuse. Every front has back and little things tell story - even in this room.
: Strange that crime of passion should be committed with gloved hand.
: Excuse please. Lake
: What do you want? Charlie Chan
: I am very curious man. Lake
: I ain't got no time to waste answering questions. I've got my sleep to get the same as other people. Charlie Chan
: It is unasked question which prevent sleep.
: But how could Lake's death possibly be connected with the Gray case? Charlie Chan
: Case like inside of radio - many connections not all related.
: When death enters window, no time for life to go by door.
: Regret do not understand English - only American.
: Who're you? Charlie Chan
: Lt. Chan, Honolulu police. Capt. Johnson
: [referring to Jimmy
] Lt. Chan? Well, then, who is this young squirt? Charlie Chan
: Young squirt merely chip masquerading as block.
: [stopping angry sailors from throwing Jimmy into the harbor
] Honolulu police frown on choking bay with bodies.
: When money talk, few are deaf.
: [startled upon coming into the ship cabin
] Pardon me, gentlemen, I thought this cabin was occupied only by the corpse. Charlie Chan
: Sorry to disappoint.
: Making bedfellow of serpent no guarantee against snakebite.
: What a wonderful contribution to science your brain would make, Mr. Chan! Charlie Chan
: Thank you so much, but for present would prefer to keep same for own use.
: Opinion like tea leaf in hot water... both need time for brewing.
: How long ago lady escape? Jimmy Chan
: I don't know just how long, Pop, 'cause I was almost unconscious. Charlie Chan
: Have suspected same since birth.
: Hey, you know, Pop, I've got an idea about this case. Charlie Chan
: Yes? Well? Tommy Chan
: Well, I had an idea, but it's gone now. Charlie Chan
: Possibly could not stand solitary confinement.
: Number three son have excellent head. Question have always been, "What it contain?"
: So many fish in fish market, even flower smell same. Much confusion.
: [after accidently bumping a passer-by
] Oh, I beg your pardon. Horace Karlos
: Sir, to meet a gentleman who apologizes for bumping you in these days is a rare thing, indeed. He is either a coward or a gentleman. I give you credit for the latter.
[they both bow
: When it comes to detective work, I know my P's and Q's. Charlie Chan
: But are you familiar with rest of alphabet?
: I remember you since last time I arrest you. Is six years ago in Singapore, remember? Cooper
: Yeah, I remember. Charlie Chan
: Very great pleasure to arrest you again, Mr. Cooper.
: Say, do you suspect any of the people who were present when she died? Charlie Chan
: Suspect everyone on general principle.
: Someone would have us believe victim fall eight stories up.
: He who takes whatever gods send with smile has learned life's hardest lesson. I, personally, find it difficult to achieve that smile.
: [Talking about Tommy
] Say, the boy has a head on his shoulders. Charlie Chan
: Oh, yes, even melon grown in shade will ripen in the end.
: [to Tommy (who has been playing "jazz" violin)
] Excuse interruption of music festival, please, but would mind repeating excrutiating sound made with assistance of cat intestine?"
: If matter not solved, it is will of fate, but still feel inclined to give fate small tussle.
: [Entering the room
] Captain... Police Sgt. Dansiger
: Hello, Mr. Chan. Capt. McNalley
: Charlie, I thought you were on your way to San Francisco. Charlie Chan
: Would have been had not been for appointment with Mr. LaFontaine. Trust am not late. Capt. McNalley
: Late? I'm afraid you're too late . He died no more than five minutes ago. Charlie Chan
: Oh, death one appointment we must all keep and for which no time is set.
: All cards should repose on table when personal liberty is at stake.
: [to LaFontaine
] He who takes whatever God send with a smile has learned life's hardest lesson. I personally find it diafficult to achieve that smile. Heh-heh.
: Mr. Chan, you oughta have all the credit for solvin' this case. Charlie Chan
] Well, after dinner is over, heh-heh, who cares about spoon? Tommy Chan
: Let's pack and go back to San Francisco, Pop. Charlie Chan
: Yes, wherever one is not, that's where heart is.
: Humble presence is of no more consequence than one drop of rain in cloudburst.
: [unable to get his hat from the hatcheck after having lost all his comp money at roulette
] Oh, Pop, I haven't got a cent in my pocket. Charlie Chan
: Rejoice that you still have honorable pants.
: [stranded on road in broken down taxi
] It's no use, Pop. We'd better start walking back. Charlie Chan
: Illustrious ancestor once say, 'Destination never reached by turning back on same.'
: [sitting in jail cell
] Why should these officers arrest us? I told them who we are. Charlie Chan
: Fortunately assassination of French language not serious crime.
: In future remember tongue often hang man quicker than rope.
: [to Lee at dining table
] Can assist in negotiating one order of waffles without danger of arrest?
: Questions are key to door of truth.
: Gosh, I like detective work better than painting. Charlie Chan
: If paintings as full of imagination as detective work,
] Charlie Chan
: he will be Chinese Rembrandt.
: Dr. Zodiac is a native of San Francisco? Doctor Zodiac
: Dr. Zodiac is a native of the Universe. He knows all people.
: If befriend donkey, expect to be kicked.
: Favorite pastime of man is fooling himself.
: We are destroying web of spider. Now let us find spider.
: Father who depend on son is happy or foolish according to son.
: If request music, must be willing to pay for fiddler.
: Criminal egotist finds pleasure in laughing at police.
[after a police investigation results in another murder attempt
] Chief J.J. Kilvaine
: Well, Charlie, if this don't send me back to pounding pavement on Billy Goat Hill, I'm an eskimo! Charlie Chan
: Not necessary to take such icy view of situation.
: No barber shaves so close but another barber finds some work to do. Sheriff Mack
: Reckon what he says is what you might call a cutting remark.
: If anyone knew where the formula was kept, I would, but I know nothing about it at all. Charlie Chan
: [to Sheriff Mack
] To get information from him is like putting empty bucket into empty well. Sheriff Mack
: Yeah, he is kind of dried up.
: My boy, if silence is golden, you are bankrupt.
: Things misplaced sometimes furnish very good clues.
: Murder know no law of relativity.
: Now that I'm here, Pop, uh, what type of murder have we got and how soon do you wish me to produce the murderer? Charlie Chan
: Every time you open your mouth you put in more feet than centipede. Remain here and produce nothing but silence.
: Gentlemen, in this matter of thought I'm sure that I can assist both of you. Charlie Chan
: [to others
] He reach oversize decision with undersized brain. Charlie Chan
: [to Eddie
: Please. Pajamas loud enough without you make extra noise.
: Shady business do not make for sunny life.
Police Sgt. Matthews
: Charlie, about that bullet? Charlie Chan
: You can keep secret? Police Sgt. Matthews
: Of course! Charlie Chan
: So can I.
: Your suicide most excellent case of murder.
: I bought a crownless hat, and a backless dress, and some toeless shoes. Charlie Chan
: Stores have no clothes which are complete?
: Very low spirits in Bonner seances. All come from basement.
: You know, Pop, I got an idea about this Bonner case. Charlie Chan
: Water on brain now leaking, huh?
: Your spirits are a long time coming, Mr. Chan. Charlie Chan
: Spirits always have very long way to come.
: [about Davidson
] Chinese chimpanzee not interfere with monkey business of big baboon. Not yet.
: Politeness golden key to many doors.
: I hope you're successful solving this case. Charlie Chan
: Well, thank you so much, Mr. Armstrong. Well, you know, sometimes think successful detective one upon whom luck shines smiling coutenance.
: You know, Confuciussay good luck chain of foolish accidents.
: [to gatekeeper
] How loud it thunder; how little it rain.
: Man who ride on tiger cannot dismount. Birmingham Brown
: He can't?
: [Last lines
] Man who ride on merry-go-round all the time sooner or later catch brass ring.
: [talking confidentially
] I'm under strict orders to remain undercover, but ever since I came aboard this ship...
[He stops when he hears a young couple walking by
] Charlie Chan
: [after they are out of earshot
] Yes... Scott Pearson
: Since I've been aboard, two attempts have been made to kill me. Charlie Chan
: You work for government?
: Say, I got the doctor's fingerprints from the doorknob, but I couldn't find anything on the murder weapon. Charlie Chan
: Many persons have handled that knife since killer. Jimmy Chan
: But, Pop, all modern detectives take fingerprints. Charlie Chan
: No. Only old-fashioned criminals leave such evidence behind.
: Kangaroo reaches destination also by leaps and bounds.
: [to Captain Black
] Good hunter never break twig underfoot.
: I'm sorry to bring you out on such a beastly night. Charlie Chan
: Problems rarely wait for clearing weather.
: Tiger going away from village is never feared. Unfortunate agent's murder is proof he was approaching prey.
: Hasty man could also drink tea with fork.
: Mary is still my wife in spite of what we planned, but she didn't - she couldn't have done this. Charlie Chan
: Man yet to be born who can tell what woman will or will not do.
: Ancient ancestor once say words cannot cook rice.
: Pop! Am I glad to see you! Sheriff Tombstone Fletcher
: You mean he's really your son? Charlie Chan
: Must admit to dubious honor.
: Mind if I snoop along? Charlie Chan
: Charming company turn lonely sandwich into rich banquet.
: When searching for needle in haystack, haystack only sensible location.
: Pop, tell these guys I'm not crazy! Charlie Chan
: Parent must first convince self of same.
] Charlie Chan
: [referring to the Munich conference
] A wise man once said, "Beware of spider who invites fly into parlor."
: Birds never divide worm until safe in roost.
: Patience big sister to wisdom.
: Confucius say; "A wise man questions *himself*, a fool *others*".
: Truth is only path out of tangled web.
: [to Tilford as he enters bus station on stormy night
] Hot stove make all akin on night like this.
: Did you find out anything, Pop? Charlie Chan
: Not enough to fill up ear of gnat.
: Believe if you will consent to bait trap, we may catch same. Mary Conover
: I'll be very glad to do anything I can to help. Charlie Chan
: Thank you. My first thought, of course, was police, but ancient proverb say, "Never bait trap with wolf to catch wolf."
: Number Two Son like flea on dog - always must have fine tooth comb to find same.
: Confucius say sleep only an escape from yesterday.
: Your name is? Watson King
: [With disdain
] Watson King. I specialize in minding my own business. Charlie Chan
: Very lonely pasttime.
: Guilty conscience like dog in circus - many tricks.
Lily, Mme. Saturnia
: You have enemies, Mr. Chan? Charlie Chan
: Man without enemies like dog without fleas.
: Say, Pop, you haven't been drinking, have you? Charlie Chan
: Only wine of discovery.
: Offspring sound like chip off old chopstick.
: Bad alibi like dead fish - cannot stand test of time.
: Pop, is he dead? Charlie Chan
: No heart strong enough to hold bullet.
: [after being kicked by his father while playing dice
] How'd you know it was me? Charlie Chan
: Frequent spankings have made offspring's anatomy most familiar.
: [Last lines
] Intelligent defense of nation best guarantee for years of peace.
: Patience leads to knowledge.
: Hey, Pop, you're not gonna swallow that story, are you? Charlie Chan
: Swallow much, but digest little,
: Trouble like first love - teach many lessons.
: [Referring to Jimmy
] Kid's got a head on his shoulders. Charlie Chan
: Very good news if true.
: [looking at treasure map
] Is it the real McCoy? Charlie Chan
: Quite possible McCoy.
: Best laid plans of mice and men sometimes, uh, go a little bit haywire, huh?
: Jimmy's just gotten murdered. I just got it over the telephone. Charlie Chan
: What? Where? Where call come from? Birmingham Brown
: Uh, uh, 126 Malibu Drive. There's a whole lot of girls there and say they just got murdered.
: Suicides do not garrote themselves by trying granny knot at back of neck.
: She may have overheard something of importance, but I will question her later.
: [to Tommy
] People who listen at keyholes rarely hear good of themselves.
: Whatta yuh think you're gonna find, Pop? Charlie Chan
: Do not know - many needles in this haystack.
: If you see something, call out. Birmingham Brown
: Whatever happened to yellin' and screamin'.
: Interesting problem in chemistry: sweet wine always turn women sour.
: Watch out, Pop, he's oily and slippery. Charlie Chan
: Slippery man sometimes slip in own oil.
: Experience teach unless eyewitness present, every murder case is long shot.
: Man who have gun either afraid or have guilty conscience.
: [to Lt. Ruark
] Surprised detective might just as well clutch iron ball and jump in lake.
: Man who improve house before building solid foundation apt to run into very much trouble.
: Some heads like hard nuts - much better if well cracked.