The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: [playing the sausage organ
] Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, would you like some sausage?
: Hi. How are you? Betty
: I'd be a lot better if you'd smack my legs with this bamboo.
: I wanna eat chicken burgers.
: I'm gunna make you proud, Dad...
[starts driving away but brakes and honks as a senior citizen is about to cross
] Gord Brody
: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY.
: Gordie, sit down. We're having roast beef. Gord Brody
: Why do you guys always have roast beef? Jim
: Boo-hoo. Little Lord Fauntleroy's tummy hurts because there's too much roast beef in it. Gord Brody
: It's just boring.
[Opens bag, pulls out a chicken sandwich
] Gord Brody
: I'm eating a chicken sandwich. Jim
: No, you're not! Gord Brody
: This is crazy. I'm a 28-year-old man, I should be able to eat a chicken sandwich if I want. Jim
: He's 28 years old and he can eat a chicken sandwich. Very Impressive. Mike Fitzgibbon's son is a nuclear physicist, and my son can eat a chicken!
[Grabs chicken sandwich, throws it to the dogs
] Julie Brody
: Jim, no! Jim
: You can either eat that goddamn roast beef, or you can go to bed.
[Gord leaves the room
: You can't hurt me, not with my cheese helmet!
: [Dressed in his father's suit, back to front
] I'm the backwards man, the backwards man, I can run back as fast as you can.
: There's my La Baron. Where's your La Baron?
: I see the problem here. There's a baby in your body.
: Look, Daddy, I'm a farmer.
: Fuck you, dad. Jim
: Fuck me? Is that what you wanna do?
[Jim drops his pants
: Well, go ahead, FUCK ME.
: [playing violin wildly
] This is a fancy restaurant. This is a fancy restaurant.
: Wait a minute... You're crippled. Gord Brody
: Dad... Betty
: What? Gord Brody
: Dad... Betty
: You got a problem with my legs? Jim
: No, you got a problem with your legs. It's ether that, or you're just lazy.
: Japan Four.
: This cheese sandwich. Gord Brody
: What? Sandwich Customer
: It doesn't have enough cheese in it. Gord Brody
: Well... we can't have that, 'cause, you know, a cheese sandwich with no cheese, it's just... two pieces of bread, and you know what? I could LOSE MY JOB. I could lose ALL THIS.
[starts cramming all the cheese slices on the counter into the sandwich
] Gord Brody
: So you can... have... all... the cheese... you want.
[throws the stack of cheese slices and bread at the customer
] Sandwich Customer
: What the hell do you expect me to do with this? Gord Brody
: Well, I don't know. You could... SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUM-BUM.
[customer walks out disgusted
] Gord Brody
: Yooou... can... put... the... cheeese... in... your... bum...
: Daddy, we're in Pakistan. Let's sew some soccer balls.
: Hey, Gord, the water cold enough for ya?
[Turns the water temp level down, then breaks into the bathroom, then flushes the toilet
: Don't tell me this boy's so stupid he doesn't know the difference between hot and cold.
[opens shower to find Gord with a soap on a rope in Scuba Gear
: Hey, what are ya doing in my scuba gear? Gord
: Look, I found a treasure. Jim
: That's a soap on a rope! Gord
: SHhhhhhhhhh, I'm pretending it's a treasure.
: He's a molester! He's a CHILLLLLLLLD MOLESTER!
: I hope I get a jobby, Freddy. I've got my fingers crossed... crossed... crossed... crossed... cross... ed.
: Wow... it's a Le Baron. Jim
: Bet your boots it's a Le Baron. Good car. Convertible.
: Don't touch my shoulder, I saved the day.
: I'm looking for a David Davidson. Woman
: I'm a woman. Gord Brody
: Did I ask what sex you are? Woman
: No. Gord Brody
: Did I ask if you were David Davidson? Woman
: My name is Cheryl.
: This is "Little Timmy". He gets us food and stuff. Right, little timmy? Jim
: What the fuck is going on Gord? Why aren't you at your new job? Gord Brody
: What are you talking about Timmy? Jim
: Gord... Jesus. There ain't no big computer job... is there? You're just gallavantin' around in my suit pretending to be some kind of mover 'n shaker aren't you?
: Ahhh... Freddy. Freddy. Freddy Brody
: Is that um... Jim
: Thats your big brother. He couldn't handle the complexities of making a cheese sandwich so now he's back here at home with us... jeez, is that idiot still in the shower? Shit. How much water is he gonna use? Freddy Brody
: How much is he gonna use? All of it? Save some for the fish or something. Right poP? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.
: Ding dong! I'm a sexy boy!
: [after Darren breaks his leg skateboarding in the middle of night, screaming at the top of his lungs
] You little shit, you think that's funny? I gotta go to work tommorrow, get the hell of my property! Gord Brody
: [Jim throws the skateboard on Darren's broken leg
] Dad, what the fuck, he hurt his leg! Jim
: Why's everybody screaming like a banshee?
[notices Darren's exposed bone on his leg
: Jesus Christ.
: Well, get him a job! I mean, get him an ambulance, you get a job!
[Gord licks Darren's bone, Jim slaps Gord
: Stop that, what the hell do you think you're doing?
: [Gord is working on his skate ramp in the middle of the night, hammering nails loudly
] Gord, don't hammer them so loud! Jeez, it's late, you're gonna wake your parents up. Gord
: You're right, I should probably use the electric nail gun. Darren
: Well, yeah. Jim
: [Gord uses the nail gun, making even more loud noise. Jim wakes up
] Oh, boys, will you faggots stop making so fucking much noise? We're trying to sleep! Jim
: [Gord contimues to use the nail gun
: Stop the fucking hammering! Mr. Malloy
: Hey, I got a kid sleeping over here! Andy Malloy
: Hey, Gord, can I play on your ramp tomorrow? Gord
: Sure, Andy, anytime! Jim
: [shouts at the top of his lungs, and goes back inside the house
: Does your dad have, like, bowel problems?