Gord Brody
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Quotes for
Gord Brody (Character)
from Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

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Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
Gord Brody: [playing the sausage organ] Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, would you like some sausage?

Gord Brody: Hi. How are you?
Betty: I'd be a lot better if you'd smack my legs with this bamboo.

Gord Brody: I wanna eat chicken burgers.

Gord Brody: I'm gunna make you proud, Dad...
[starts driving away but brakes and honks as a senior citizen is about to cross]
[continues driving]

Julie Brody: Gordie, sit down. We're having roast beef.
Gord Brody: Why do you guys always have roast beef?
Jim: Boo-hoo. Little Lord Fauntleroy's tummy hurts because there's too much roast beef in it.
Gord Brody: It's just boring.
[Opens bag, pulls out a chicken sandwich]
Gord Brody: I'm eating a chicken sandwich.
Jim: No, you're not!
Gord Brody: This is crazy. I'm a 28-year-old man, I should be able to eat a chicken sandwich if I want.
Jim: He's 28 years old and he can eat a chicken sandwich. Very Impressive. Mike Fitzgibbon's son is a nuclear physicist, and my son can eat a chicken!
[Grabs chicken sandwich, throws it to the dogs]
Julie Brody: Jim, no!
Jim: You can either eat that goddamn roast beef, or you can go to bed.
[Gord leaves the room]

Gord Brody: You can't hurt me, not with my cheese helmet!

Gord Brody: [Dressed in his father's suit, back to front] I'm the backwards man, the backwards man, I can run back as fast as you can.

Gord Brody: There's my La Baron. Where's your La Baron?

Gord Brody: I see the problem here. There's a baby in your body.

Gord Brody: Look, Daddy, I'm a farmer.

Gord Brody: Fuck you, dad.
Jim: Fuck me? Is that what you wanna do?
[Jim drops his pants]
Jim: Well, go ahead, FUCK ME.

Gord Brody: [playing violin wildly] This is a fancy restaurant. This is a fancy restaurant.

Jim: Wait a minute... You're crippled.
Gord Brody: Dad...
Betty: What?
Gord Brody: Dad...
Betty: You got a problem with my legs?
Jim: No, you got a problem with your legs. It's ether that, or you're just lazy.

Gord Brody: Japan Four.

Sandwich Customer: This cheese sandwich.
Gord Brody: What?
Sandwich Customer: It doesn't have enough cheese in it.
Gord Brody: Well... we can't have that, 'cause, you know, a cheese sandwich with no cheese, it's just... two pieces of bread, and you know what? I could LOSE MY JOB. I could lose ALL THIS.
[starts cramming all the cheese slices on the counter into the sandwich]
Gord Brody: So you can... have... all... the cheese... you want.
[throws the stack of cheese slices and bread at the customer]
Sandwich Customer: What the hell do you expect me to do with this?
Gord Brody: Well, I don't know. You could... SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUM-BUM.
[customer walks out disgusted]
Gord Brody: Yooou... can... put... the... cheeese... in... your... bum...

Gord: Daddy, we're in Pakistan. Let's sew some soccer balls.

Jim: Hey, Gord, the water cold enough for ya?
[Turns the water temp level down, then breaks into the bathroom, then flushes the toilet]
Jim: Don't tell me this boy's so stupid he doesn't know the difference between hot and cold.
[opens shower to find Gord with a soap on a rope in Scuba Gear]
Jim: Hey, what are ya doing in my scuba gear?
Gord: Look, I found a treasure.
Jim: That's a soap on a rope!
Gord: SHhhhhhhhhh, I'm pretending it's a treasure.

Gord Brody: He's a molester! He's a CHILLLLLLLLD MOLESTER!

Gord Brody: I hope I get a jobby, Freddy. I've got my fingers crossed... crossed... crossed... crossed... cross... ed.

Gord Brody: Wow... it's a Le Baron.
Jim: Bet your boots it's a Le Baron. Good car. Convertible.

Gord: Don't touch my shoulder, I saved the day.

Gord Brody: I'm looking for a David Davidson.
Woman: I'm a woman.
Gord Brody: Did I ask what sex you are?
Woman: No.
Gord Brody: Did I ask if you were David Davidson?
Woman: My name is Cheryl.

Gord Brody: This is "Little Timmy". He gets us food and stuff. Right, little timmy?
Jim: What the fuck is going on Gord? Why aren't you at your new job?
Gord Brody: What are you talking about Timmy?
Jim: Gord... Jesus. There ain't no big computer job... is there? You're just gallavantin' around in my suit pretending to be some kind of mover 'n shaker aren't you?

Gord: Ahhh... Freddy. Freddy.
Freddy Brody: Is that um...
Jim: Thats your big brother. He couldn't handle the complexities of making a cheese sandwich so now he's back here at home with us... jeez, is that idiot still in the shower? Shit. How much water is he gonna use?
Freddy Brody: How much is he gonna use? All of it? Save some for the fish or something. Right poP? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Gord Brody: Ding dong! I'm a sexy boy!

Jim: [after Darren breaks his leg skateboarding in the middle of night, screaming at the top of his lungs] You little shit, you think that's funny? I gotta go to work tommorrow, get the hell of my property!
Gord Brody: [Jim throws the skateboard on Darren's broken leg] Dad, what the fuck, he hurt his leg!
Jim: Why's everybody screaming like a banshee?
[notices Darren's exposed bone on his leg]
Jim: Jesus Christ.
[to Gord]
Jim: Well, get him a job! I mean, get him an ambulance, you get a job!
[Gord licks Darren's bone, Jim slaps Gord]
Jim: Stop that, what the hell do you think you're doing?

Darren: [Gord is working on his skate ramp in the middle of the night, hammering nails loudly] Gord, don't hammer them so loud! Jeez, it's late, you're gonna wake your parents up.
Gord: You're right, I should probably use the electric nail gun.
Darren: Well, yeah.
Jim: [Gord uses the nail gun, making even more loud noise. Jim wakes up] Oh, boys, will you faggots stop making so fucking much noise? We're trying to sleep!
Jim: [Gord contimues to use the nail gun] Goddammit!
Jim: Stop the fucking hammering!
Mr. Malloy: Hey, I got a kid sleeping over here!
Andy Malloy: Hey, Gord, can I play on your ramp tomorrow?
Gord: Sure, Andy, anytime!
Jim: [shouts at the top of his lungs, and goes back inside the house]
Darren: Does your dad have, like, bowel problems?