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: Get out of the toilet!
: Ohhhhh, look honey, our boy's a genius! He's rigged a pulley system so he can eat sausage and work on his stupid drawings.
: Gordie, sit down. We're having roast beef. Gord Brody
: Why do you guys always have roast beef? Jim
: Boo-hoo. Little Lord Fauntleroy's tummy hurts because there's too much roast beef in it. Gord Brody
: It's just boring.
[Opens bag, pulls out a chicken sandwich
] Gord Brody
: I'm eating a chicken sandwich. Jim
: No, you're not! Gord Brody
: This is crazy. I'm a 28-year-old man, I should be able to eat a chicken sandwich if I want. Jim
: He's 28 years old and he can eat a chicken sandwich. Very Impressive. Mike Fitzgibbon's son is a nuclear physicist, and my son can eat a chicken!
[Grabs chicken sandwich, throws it to the dogs
] Julie Brody
: Jim, no! Jim
: You can either eat that goddamn roast beef, or you can go to bed.
[Gord leaves the room
: Where the fuck is the water?
: You BETTER run. You LIIIIIAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR.
: Fuck you, dad. Jim
: Fuck me? Is that what you wanna do?
[Jim drops his pants
: Well, go ahead, FUCK ME.
: Wait a minute... You're crippled. Gord Brody
: Dad... Betty
: What? Gord Brody
: Dad... Betty
: You got a problem with my legs? Jim
: No, you got a problem with your legs. It's ether that, or you're just lazy.
: [to Betty
] If this was Pakistan, you'd be sewing soccer balls.
: Hey, Gord, the water cold enough for ya?
[Turns the water temp level down, then breaks into the bathroom, then flushes the toilet
: Don't tell me this boy's so stupid he doesn't know the difference between hot and cold.
[opens shower to find Gord with a soap on a rope in Scuba Gear
: Hey, what are ya doing in my scuba gear? Gord
: Look, I found a treasure. Jim
: That's a soap on a rope! Gord
: SHhhhhhhhhh, I'm pretending it's a treasure.
: [after he leaves Gord in the shower
] You retard!
: You want Daddy to give you a spanking in front of his retard slut whore? Betty
: I'M NOT RETARDED!
: He said 'Fuck you, dad'. So I said 'Fuck you, fuck me. Fuck you, fuck me"... and I NEVER FINGERED FREDDY.
[Andy Malloy looks at Jim while playing catch and gets hit in mouth with baseball, cries
: Wow... it's a Le Baron. Jim
: Bet your boots it's a Le Baron. Good car. Convertible.
: This is "Little Timmy". He gets us food and stuff. Right, little timmy? Jim
: What the fuck is going on Gord? Why aren't you at your new job? Gord Brody
: What are you talking about Timmy? Jim
: Gord... Jesus. There ain't no big computer job... is there? You're just gallavantin' around in my suit pretending to be some kind of mover 'n shaker aren't you?
: Ahhh... Freddy. Freddy. Freddy Brody
: Is that um... Jim
: Thats your big brother. He couldn't handle the complexities of making a cheese sandwich so now he's back here at home with us... jeez, is that idiot still in the shower? Shit. How much water is he gonna use? Freddy Brody
: How much is he gonna use? All of it? Save some for the fish or something. Right poP? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.
: Miserable dead beat punk. Paid for his damn college. Sits around all day wacking off. Proud? My ASS.
: [after Darren breaks his leg skateboarding in the middle of night, screaming at the top of his lungs
] You little shit, you think that's funny? I gotta go to work tommorrow, get the hell of my property! Gord Brody
: [Jim throws the skateboard on Darren's broken leg
] Dad, what the fuck, he hurt his leg! Jim
: Why's everybody screaming like a banshee?
[notices Darren's exposed bone on his leg
: Jesus Christ.
: Well, get him a job! I mean, get him an ambulance, you get a job!
[Gord licks Darren's bone, Jim slaps Gord
: Stop that, what the hell do you think you're doing?
: [Gord is working on his skate ramp in the middle of the night, hammering nails loudly
] Gord, don't hammer them so loud! Jeez, it's late, you're gonna wake your parents up. Gord
: You're right, I should probably use the electric nail gun. Darren
: Well, yeah. Jim
: [Gord uses the nail gun, making even more loud noise. Jim wakes up
] Oh, boys, will you faggots stop making so fucking much noise? We're trying to sleep! Jim
: [Gord contimues to use the nail gun
: Stop the fucking hammering! Mr. Malloy
: Hey, I got a kid sleeping over here! Andy Malloy
: Hey, Gord, can I play on your ramp tomorrow? Gord
: Sure, Andy, anytime! Jim
: [shouts at the top of his lungs, and goes back inside the house
: Does your dad have, like, bowel problems?
: What are you looking at... bitch?