Amy Wong
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Quotes for
Amy Wong (Character)
from "Futurama" (1999)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Futurama: Möbius Dick (#6.21)" (2011)
Amy Wong: You've gone from crazy like a fox to crazy like Fox News.

Hermes Conrad: Zoidberg was popular?
Amy Wong: Zoidberg had hair?
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: I never said he had hair! If you chose to imagine him that way, that's your business!

Turanga Leela: Whatever happened, that first crew left in a hurry. The table is still set for McDonald's value meal.
Dr. Zoidberg: I remember! I remember! This is what traumatized me! Such a meal to go to waste!
[devours entire meal]
Dr. Zoidberg: And with that - burp! - I have closure.
[Zoidberg's head crest rises up]
Amy Wong: Hey, Zoidberg, you're cockatieling.
Dr. Zoidberg: Oh, no! Something's happening! What's happening?
[a space whale surfaces and flies by, as everyone gasps]
Dr. Zoidberg: Oh, right. And also there was this giant killer space whale.

Turanga Leela: All right, which one of you sea dogs has the guts and know-how to harpoon a whale?
Amy Wong: I spent a semester in Africa harpooning giraffes, and giraffes are basically land space whales.
Turanga Leela: Ms. Wong, you have the 'poon.

Amy Wong: Oh, God! I'm having a Serengeti flashback! Die, you dirty giraffe!

Amy Wong: Well, I got it. Now what, captain?
Turanga Leela: You know, I'm not sure. I always assumed whales died when you harpooned them.

[as the ship is being pulled into the fourth dimesion]
Hermes Conrad: I can see sideways in time! Emit ni syawedis ees nac I!
Amy Wong: Gee, I see CGI! IGC ees I eeg!
Philip J. Fry: Heh heh! Poop! Poop! Heh heh!
Bender: Aw, yeah!
[sees a conga line of Benders]
Bender: Bender, Bender, Bender! Bender, Bender, Bender! Bender, Bender, Bender!
[as they emerge out of the fourth dimension, the other Benders collapse back into the original]
Bender: Aw, that was the greatest endless bunch of mes I ever met.

"Futurama: The Series Has Landed (#1.2)" (1999)
Amy Wong: Leela's gonna kill me.
Bender: Naw, she'll probably make me do it.

Amy Wong: [to Leela] Aye, Aye captain... I mean: only-one-eye... I mean: yes sir... uhm... ma'am.

[Amy is trying to retrieve the keys to the spaceship, which have fallen into an arcade crane game]
Bender: Come on, it's just like making love. Y'know... left, down, rotate sixty-two degrees, engage rotor...
Amy Wong: I know how to make love.

Amy Wong: Look, we're not as rich as everybody says.
Leela: [dubiously] Uh huh. What sorority do you belong to?
Amy Wong: Kappa Kappa Wong.

Amy Wong: Please, mister. Could you get my keys out of the machine?
Sal: What do I look like? Some guy who's not lazy?

Fry: You're not gonna believe this, but someone landed an amusement park on the moon!
Amy Wong: Guh! It's the happiest place orbiting Earth.

"Futurama: Where the Buggalo Roam (#4.6)" (2002)
[the group is trying to get a herd of Buggalo out of a volcano]
Lt. Kif Kroker: Ok, the dynamite's in place.
Amy Wong: Are you sure there's no other way to get the Buggalo out?
Turanga Leela: Not unless your parents have thousands of helicopters at their disposal.
Amy Wong: Well, actually...
Bender: Too late, this is more fun.
[He detonates it]

Amy Wong: I'm too rich to be kidnapped!

Amy Wong: Is that your camouflage reflex, or are you just happy to see me?

Inez Wong: Everyone okay? No one considering lawsuit?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Hmm, I might have mental anguish.
Leo Wong: I'll have you know I'm friends with every judge in planet.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I'm okay, then.

[the group is trying to get a herd of Buggalo out of a volcano]
Lt. Kif Kroker: Ok the dynamite's in place.
Amy Wong: Are you sure there's no other way to get the Buggalo out?
Turanga Leela: Not unless your parents have thousands of helicopters at their disposal.
Amy Wong: Well actually...
Bender Bending Rodriguez: Too late this is more fun
[He detonates it]

[Fry, Leela, Bender, and Kif sitting around a campfire]
Fry: And then, while they sat helplessly around the campfire, a demented knife-wielding escaped lunatic libertarian zombie mutant snuck up and...
Amy Wong: [Coming through the bushes] Surprise!

"Futurama: That Darn Katz! (#6.8)" (2010)
Kif Kroker: Your place or mine?
Amy Wong: Both, but first here.
[They start making out on the floor]
Kif Kroker: Ooh, my!
Hedonismbot: Ooh, room for one more?

Amy Wong: [Steps on green puddle] Ew, Kif! Did you yack on the floor?
Kif Kroker: [the puddle] Yes, I did.

Amy Wong: Professor Katz's last name is Katz. Do you think he has something to do with these cats?
Nibbler: The conclusion is as inescapable as it is moronic. I say we pay him a visit.
[Hands Amy a pistol]
Nibbler: And if he won't talk to us, he'll talk to Smith & Wesson.
[Picks up large plasma cannon]
Nibbler: Or perhaps Consolidated Headmelter.

Amy Wong: So you call my thesis a fat sack of barf and then stole it?
Professor Morris Katz: Welcome to academia.

Amy Wong: I'm finally done with school! How's the job market?
Professor Fisherprice Shpeekenshpell: [Pointer lands on dog] Ruff!

Futurama: Bender's Big Score (2007) (V)
Amy Wong: Look at us, living like trash-eating bums in an alley now.
Zoidberg: Yes... Now...

[everyone is huddled in a giant rock igloo on Neptune after the scammer aliens have taken over the Earth]
Bender: Rrrrr... it's so cold, my processor is running at peak efficiency!
Leela: What are you, a whining machine? If you want to worry about something, worry about the Yetis.
Zoidberg: Jedis?
[a chorus of howling Yetis is heard from a distance]
Zoidberg: Oh... YETIS!
Professor Farnsworth: Amy - you speak Yeti - what are they saying?
Amy Wong: I'm not sure, but it sounds like something to do with... assaulting the interlopers!
[a trio of giant Yetis smashes through the side of the rock igloo; everyone screams and scatters while Leela runs towards them]
Leela: Yeee-ah! Don't mess with me you ice-crapping snow honkys. I just got dumped!
[the Yetis flee in terror as Leela chases after them with a primitive spear]
Hermes Conrad: Sweet Yeti of the Serengeti! She's gone crazy Eddie in the heady!

Amy Wong: Ahh, don't blame yourself, Bender.
Bender: I don't blame myself. I blame all of you!
Amy Wong: Us? How could you possibly blame us?
Bender: It ain't easy. It just proves how great I am.

Fry: That's it. I don't see how things could get any worse
Bender: We could sing.
Professor Farnsworth: I'd rather kill myself.
Amy Wong: Why not do both?
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, very well.

"Futurama: I Second That Emotion (#2.5)" (1999)
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Now I'll simply tune it to Leela's emotional frequency.
[Professor Farnsworth adjusts the empathy chip]
Bender: My God. I'm overcome with feelings. I'm experiencing a powerful yearning to... to cram my gullet full of mackerel heads.
Dr. Zoidberg: That's me, baby.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Hmmm.
[Professor Farnsworth readjusts the chip]
Bender: Now I'm worried I'm not as smart as Leela, but at the same time, I feel relieved I'm cuter than her.
Amy Wong: Uuh, that's me.
Fry: [Whispering to Amy] Thanks for covering.
Bender: This time, I miss Nibbler, and I'm feeling nosy and opinionated.
Amy Wong: Bingo.
Hermes Conrad: That's Leela.

Amy Wong: Bender, how could you flush Nibbler down the toilet?
Bender: Well, step one, I had to lift the lid. That was the first little annoyance. Am I right, men?

[the girls are at a single's bar]
Amy Wong: Um, Leela, Armando and I are going to the back seat of his car for coffee.

Dr. Zoidberg, Amy Wong, Hermes Conrad, Leela, Professor Hubert Farnsworth: [singing] What is today?/ It's Nibbler's birthday/ What a day for a birthday/ Let's all have some cake.
Fry: And you smell like one too!

"Futurama: Love's Labours Lost in Space (#1.4)" (1999)
[Amy wants to take Leela out to cheer her up]
Amy Wong: Let's all take her out tonight. There's lots of great places to meet people.
Hermes Conrad: The Federal Sex Bureau.
Bender: A saucy puppet show.
Dr. Zoidberg: The rotting carcass of a whale.
Amy Wong: Mmmmm... I'll pick.

Computer: This is Vergon Six.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: This is Vergon Six.
Amy Wong: Buh...

Amy Wong: You just have to give guys a chance. Sometimes you meet a guy and think he's a pig, but then later on you realize he actually has a really good body.

Amy Wong: [at a nightclub] Everything is so retro.
Fry: Why is everyone wearing those rings?
Amy Wong: Guh! Because nobody wears them anymore. Rings are stupid.
Fry: I think they're cool.
Amy Wong: Shh! Don't let anyone hear you.
Guy: Hey, did that guy just say that rings are cool?
Amy Wong: No, he said they're stupid.
Guy: Cool!

"Futurama: Fry Am the Egg Man (#6.22)" (2011)
Amy Wong: Jinkies! He Scooby-Dooed us!

Philip J. Fry: You can't just kill somebody because they're ugly and corrosive.
Amy Wong: That's what we said about Zoidberg, and look where that got us.
Dr. Zoidberg: Amy makes a good point.

Professor Farnsworth: You're not my breakfast friends! What are you doing here?
Amy Wong: Leela is blackmailing us into eating healthy.
Professor Farnsworth: Blackmail? What does she have on you?
Hermes Conrad: As long as we eat her filthy scrambled eggs, you'll never find out.

"Futurama: Amazon Women in the Mood (#3.5)" (2001)
Amy Wong: [on stilts, disguised as an Amazonian] Me next snu-snu! Out me way!

Dr. Zoidberg: Well, I'm taking this old shell to the dumpster, and maybe pick up some more of those potato chips Amy threw away.
Amy Wong: Those were toe nail clipings.
Dr. Zoidberg: A feast is a feast.

Amy Wong: Your leader is a computer?
Amazonian: Yes. It appear mysteriously about time men die out.
Leela: Then why did you make it your leader?
Amazonian: It seem like different kind of leader.
Amazonian: Not beltway insider.

"Futurama: Proposition Infinity (#6.4)" (2010)
Dr. Zoidberg: [while inspecting Amy's engagement ring from Bender] Such a stone! Is it real?
[Amy carves a circle in Zoidberg's shell]
Dr. Zoidberg: Hooray!
Professor Farnsworth: Hooray denied! Need I remind you that robosexual marriage is illegal?
Turanga Leela: Not in Space Massachusetts.
Bender: You mean Space Tax-achusetts? No chance, judge-pants! We're gonna fight to legalize it right here!
Hermes Conrad: Ya mon! Ya got to legalize it!
Amy Wong: We're talking about robosexual marriage.
Hermes Conrad: We're talking about lots of stuff.

Turanga Leela: So, Amy, how can I phrase this delicately? Why did Kif dump you like a bag of yesterday's turds?
Amy Wong: He said I have a thing for bad boys. It's so stupid.
Bender: The truth is often stupid.
[blows smoke in Amy's face and sprinkles ashes in her drink]
Amy Wong: Why do you have to be so mean to me?
Bender: Shut up, baby. You love it.
Amy Wong: Don't tell me to shut up! You know what happened to the last guy that told me to shut up?
Bender: What?
[Cut to Amy and Bender in bed]
Amy Wong: That was great.
Bender: Shut up.

[Getting ready to capture a tornado]
Turanga Leela: Is everybody in position?
Amy Wong: What?
Dr. Zoidberg: is someone talking?
Turanga Leela: Okay, good. On three. One...
Hermes Conrad: What did she say?
Turanga Leela: Two...
Bender: Wait! I'm not in position!
Turanga Leela: Three!
Dr. Zoidberg: I'm ready for the countdown!
Turanga Leela: I'm not hearing anyone! Abort mission!
Philip J. Fry: She said go!

"Futurama: Bendin' in the Wind (#3.13)" (2001)
[looking over an old Hippy Volkswagen bus]
Amy Wong: This speedometer only goes up to 80. This thing can't go faster than 80,000 miles an hour?
Fry: No, it can't. But it's got a driver's side floor and an eight-track player with genuine mono sound.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Where's the device that lets to speed up or slow down the passage of time?
Fry: [pulls out a bong] Under the seat.

Dr. Zoidberg: [the gang is doing laundry] Bad news, friends. My shell ran.
[All the clothes are covered in pink swirls]
Amy Wong: Zoidberg, you idiot! My outfit! It's... It's...
Turanga Leela: Kinda cool.
Fry: Yeah, I like it.
Amy Wong: Me too, now that I'm used to it.
Dr. Zoidberg: Then it was all on purpose! You're lucky to have Zoidberg as a friend. But cross me and I'll turn on you like that!

Amy Wong: [Zoidberg is hacking into a tissue] You better not do that at the concert.
Dr. Zoidberg: I can't stop. When I eat too much dirt I get stuff in my throat.
Amy Wong: You are so disgusting! I...
[Gasps as she sees that Zoidberg is hacking up blue pearls; she takes a handful]
Amy Wong: They're beautiful!
Dr. Zoidberg: Eww, you're touching them!
Turanga Leela: I've never seen such beautiful pearls. Dr. Zoidberg, you're amazing!
Dr. Zoidberg: I am? At last, recognition!

"Futurama: Lethal Inspection (#6.6)" (2010)
Bender: Dying sucks butt! How do you living beings cope with mortality?
Turanga Leela: Violent outbursts.
Amy Wong: General sluttiness.
Philip J. Fry: Thanks to denial, I'm immortal.

Bender: Oh, no, they've killed me! Put me in my Sunday best and stick me in a box. Now they're lowering me into the cold, cold ground. Oh, here come the worms! Ha ha ha ha!
Philip J. Fry: You wouldn't be laughing so hard if you were really dead.
Bender: Nu-uh, because in case you didn't know, I'm a robot.
Philip J. Fry: So? You could die if something heavy fell on you, like a church.
Bender: My backup unit makes a backup copy of me every day, so if something happens to my body, I just download that copy into another body. I'm immortal, baby!
Amy Wong: What? Then how come you scream every time there's danger?
Bender: I didn't say I wasn't a drama queen.

Turanga Leela: You can't just go to the Central Bureaucracy. Bureaucrats are officious little pencil pushers who blend into the walls.
Hermes Conrad: [Wearing a shirt that matches the wall] I beg to differ.
Bender: Stinking bureaucrats. I hate 'em!
Turanga Leela: Of course, you could get a seasoned bureaucrat to guide you.
Bender: Hermes, old buddy!
Hermes Conrad: Old buddy? 8.4 seconds ago you hated me.
Bender: Time heals all wounds.
Hermes Conrad: All right, I'll help you, but only to show you that we're not pencil pushers.
Amy Wong: Are you taking your pocket filing cabinet?
Hermes Conrad: None of your beeswax.

"Futurama: The Problem with Popplers (#2.18)" (2000)
Fry: [after the news lady annouces Leela's first name is Turanga] Turanga?
Amy Wong: That's her first name, Philip.
Bender: Philip?

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: My God, they're back! We're doomed!
Amy Wong: Doomed!
Bender: [Deep inhale] Dooooooo...

Bender: Who wants some dolphin?
Amy Wong: Bender! Dolphins are intelligent!
Bender: Not this one. He blew his life savings on lottery tickets.

"Futurama: A Bicyclops Built for Two (#2.13)" (2000)
[on the internet, Amy finds a door titled "Amy Wong Naked". She looks inside]
Amy Wong: Hey! That's me!
Bender: No it isn't. I just took some pictures of your face and stuck them on someone else's body.
[Leela looks inside]
Leela: Hey!

Bender: I'm telling you, Fry, they've got a chat room for everybody... and here it is!
[Bender and Fry enter a door labeled Dirty, Dirty Chat Room]
Amy Wong: Eww! That is so gross!
Leela: Yeah. I'll stick with this one, thank you.
[Leela and Amy enter Dirty Chat Room]

[on the internet, Amy finds a door titled "Amy Wong Naked". She looks inside]
Amy Wong: Hey. That's me.
Bender: No it isn't. I just took some pictures of your face and stuck them on someone else's body.
[Leela looks inside]
Leela: Hey.

"Futurama: Ghost in the Machines (#6.16)" (2011)
Dr. Zoidberg: Hey, look.
Dr. Zoidberg: A fog is rolling in.
Hermes Conrad: No, that's just the Jamaican pride float.
Amy Wong: Looks like it's speeding up.
Hermes Conrad: Oh, no! It's within munching distance of the Doritos float!

[first lines]
Hermes Conrad: Listen up people. As long as nothing happens for the next 15 minutes, our insurance will be reinstated. So, let's just sit quietly and run out the clock.
[sits down]
Hermes Conrad: [brief pause while the group sits quietly]
Amy Wong: [stands, screams in terror, and points] A giant sausage!
[All yell in terror]
Hermes Conrad: [gets up and flails arms] Oh, God, no! Get out of here you horrific sausage!
Turanga Leela: Wait! Isn't today the parade? It's just a giant balloon.
Philip J. Fry: Giant balloon?
[grips chair and screams in terror]

Amy Wong: [At Bender's funeral] Poor, nasty, mean, old Bender. I can't believe we'll never hear his evil laugh again.
[Bender laughs evily as his spirit exits his body]

"Futurama: Benderama (#6.15)" (2011)
Amy Wong: Aaahh! A big, fat roach!
Hermes Conrad: What? I thought I put that away.

Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Everyone, look at my latest invention.
Dr. Zoidberg: Okay.
Amy Wong: I like how it's not killing us so far.

Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Everyone - look at my latest invention!
Dr. Zoidberg: Okay.
Amy Wong: I like how it's not killing us so far.

"Futurama: My Three Suns (#1.7)" (1999)
Fry: [Fry struggles to cry and fails] It's no use. I want to cry, but I'm just too macho.
Bender: I'll make you cry, buddy. You're a pimple on society's ass and you'll never amount to anything.
Fry: Wha'd'you mean? I was emperor of a whole planet.
Bender: Good point... but here's a disturbing reminder: anyone you knew or loved in the 20th century is dead.
Fry: These things happen.
Bender: Okay, Fry, grab a Kleenex for this one, 'cause there's no god and your idiotic human ideals are laughable. Ha ha ha!
Fry: Phew, that's a load off my mind
Bender: Man, I guess it's harder than I thought to make someone cry.
Amy Wong: You did your best, Bender.
Bender: Up yours, bimbo!
[Amy cries]
Dr. Zoidberg: Let's face it, we're in hot butter here. We should call Leela for help.
Bender: Cram it, lobster!
[Zoidberg cries]

Amy Wong: Is this salt water?
Bender: It's salt with water in it, if that's what you mean.
Fry: My vision's fading! I think I'm gonna die!
Bender: There was nothing wrong with that food. The salt level was 10% less than a lethal dose.
Dr. Zoidberg: Uh oh. I shouldn't have had seconds.

Amy Wong: I don't think you have anything to worry about. These people seem pretty mild-mannered.
Dr. Zoidberg: They are mild. In fact, you're soaking in one right now.
Gorgak: You've touched me in ways I've never been touched before.

"Futurama: Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch (#5.5)" (2003)
Amy Wong: You're going to Nigel 7? Kif's on patrol near there, you could drop me off on the way!
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: We could but we won't. It's a spaceship damn it! Not a prom limousine!
[angry rant]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: If anyone needs me I'll be in the Angry Dome.

Bender: They're my booties from when I was a kid.
Amy Wong: They're already bronzed.
Bender: They are bronze.

Amy Wong: Spirit! Kif, that's the pony I always wanted but my parents said I had too many ponies already.

"Futurama: Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love? (#2.9)" (2000)
[Fry enters naked into a steam room where Amy and Leela are bathing]
Fry: Co-ed steam rooms. I LOVE the future.
Leela: Uh, Fry, you're in the women's steam room.
Fry: Ahhh. Fu-tur-istic.
Amy Wong: [indicating Fry's crotch] Psst. Look what life was like before genetic engineering.
Leela: Those poor 20th century women.

Amy Wong: And Bender, your beer belly is so big your door won't even close - and that doesn't even make sense.

Amy Wong: Fool me seven times, shame on you. Fool me eight or more times, shame on me.

"Futurama: Three Hundred Big Boys (#5.11)" (2003)
Richard Nixon's Head: I've sent you each 300 buckeroos. In the form of a tricky Dick fun bill. Knock yourselves out!
Amy Wong: I'm slightly richer!
Bender: What to do, what to do. One 300 dollar hookerbot or 300 one dollar hookerbots?

Amy Wong: [waiting for Mushu to throw up her watch] Yay Mushu, barf! Barf like a freshman!

"Futurama: Raging Bender (#2.12)" (2000)
Fry: [at the movie theater] Cool let's see this one!
[points to "Galaxy Wars"]
Leela: Nah, I'm not in the mood for a historical documentary. I've heard good things about 'Quizblorg, Quizblorg.'
Amy Wong: Guck! I hate subtitles. Alien films are so pretentious.
Dr. Zoidberg: Fellows, fellows, how about a film we can all enjoy? "Planet of the Clams": It's about an upside-down world where lobster is slave to clam.
Bender: Who invited you? Let's just see "All My Circuits: The Movie."
[all mumble in agreement]
Bender: Good point, Bender!

Amy Wong: So how was the Spleef Nebula?
Hermes Conrad: [With brain slug on head, speaking in monotone] The flight had a stopover at the Brain Slug Planet. Hermes liked is so much he decided to stay of his own free will.
Fry: Hermes has all the fun. Wait a second! He has a brain slug on his head!
Leela: Shh! You're gonna get us all assimilated!
Amy Wong: Just act normal and switch to a garlic shampoo.

"Futurama: The Deep South (#2.16)" (2000)
Amy Wong: Augh! Sunburn! My fabulous body, ruined! What happened to my parasol?
Bender: I don't know. It wasn't here when I took your umbrella.

Amy Wong: So Fry, Atlanta was an American city in your time?
Fry: I think it was just an airport. They had a place where you could buy nuts.
Ombrial: No! Ancient Atlanta was more than just a Delta hub! It was a vibrant metropolis, the equal of Paris or New York!
Fry: That's right, honey. Whatever you say.

"Futurama: The Cryonic Woman (#3.3)" (2000)
Michelle: It's a relief to meet you, Amy. I'm just having a hard time adjusting to all the strange stuff here in the future.
Amy Wong: I'm from Mars.

Leela: Please, Professor... give us our jobs back. We deserve another chance.
Bender: Yeah. And if you won't give me another chance perhaps you'd give one to...
[Puts on the gorilla mask]
Bender: Og. Gorilla Emperor of Earth.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Sorry, Og. But I've got a new crew.
[to Hermes, Amy and Zoidberg, who are coming out of the ship]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: So, how was your delivery to Fantasy Planet where everyone's fantasies come to life?
Amy Wong: Great.
Hermes Conrad: Organized.
Dr. Zoidberg: For one beautiful night I knew what it was to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored.

"Futurama: The Lesser of Two Evils (#2.11)" (2000)
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Everyone into bed with me. I have something to show you. Feast your eyes on *this*
[Everyone gasps]
Leela: It's beautiful!
Amy Wong: And huge!
Fry: Can I touch it?

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Everyone get in bed with me. I have something to show you
[everyone gets in bed]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Feast your eyes... on *this*!
[everyone gasps]
Leela: It's beautiful!
Amy Wong: And huge!
Fry: Can I touch it?

"Futurama: A Head in the Polls (#2.7)" (1999)
Dr. Zoidberg: You know, Fry, you could join a third party, maybe.
Amy Wong: Pfft! Only weirdos and mutants join third parties.
Dr. Zoidberg: Really? I'd better keep an eye out at the next meeting.

Amy Wong: [At the Dudes for the Legalization of Hemp booth] So, is it true that you can make all kinds of shirts and ropes out of hemp?
Stoned Guy: Dave's not here, man.
Amy Wong: I also hear hemp makes great shampoo.
Stoned Guy: It does? No way! I gotta check out this brochure.
[Picks up a hamburger and eats it]

"Futurama: A Fishful of Dollars (#1.6)" (1999)
[Fry is serving pizza with anchovies]
Fry: Ok my friends, get ready for the most delicious extinct animal you've ever tasted.
Amy Wong: I don't know, I've had cow.

Amy Wong: Hey, Bender. Nice new sweater.
Bender: New? What sweater? I came in with this! I don't know you people!

"Futurama: Put Your Head on My Shoulders (#2.10)" (2000)
Fry: Amy, you know how at first you like chocolate, but then you get tired of it because it alwys wants to hang out with you?
Amy Wong: Huh? You don't like chocolate?
Fry: Look, could chocolate please let me finish?

Fry: Tell me something. You have all this money. Why do you always dress like you're doing your laundry?
Amy Wong: I guess it's because my parents are always telling me to act more lady-like. As though.
Fry: I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the Pope?
Amy Wong: And if you were, they would just be all, "Straighten your pope hat. Put on your good vestments."

"Futurama: Attack of the Killer App (#6.3)" (2010)
Philip J. Fry: I thought we were buying our eyePhones online.
Turanga Leela: We are on line.
Philip J. Fry: But I thought the Mom store was across town.
Amy Wong: It is across town.
Philip J. Fry: But I thought...
Bender: Stop thinking, Fry!

Amy Wong: Shwow, it's that obscure underground song that's constantly playing everywhere.

"Futurama: Reincarnation (#6.26)" (2011)
Amy Wong: You solved the problem that drove Einstein and forced Stephen Hawking to quit physics and become a cartoon actor.
Stephen Hawking: I like physics, but I love cartoons.

[during a poorly-dubbed anime segment]
Amy Wong: Professor, I have analyzed the movements of the aliens with this movement analyzer.
Professor Farnsworth: That device was a gift from my ancestors. Go on.
Amy Wong: It seems their movements are a form of language, rather than speaking J...
Male Dubbed Voice: ENGLISH!
Amy Wong: -like us, they communicate through dance.

"Futurama: The Duh-Vinci Code (#6.5)" (2010)
Amy Wong: Spleech, Professor. Don't have a splenurism. Fry's your distant relative.
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Not distant enough! I'll be a monkey's uncle before I'm this monkey's uncle.

Amy Wong: Look! That hand doesn't seem to belong to anybody. And it's pointing a knife at James the Lesser.
Bender: That's the great thing about that hand.

"Futurama: In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela (#6.2)" (2010)
Hermes Conrad: So you're saying this thing is censoring planets?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Indeed. And we're next if we don't keep in in our collective pants. The only way to save Earth is to convince its citizens to repent their sinful ways.
Amy Wong: [Wearing S&M gear] So the orgy is off?

Amy Wong: I guess its time to indulge in some end-of-the-earth debauchery. Who's up for an orgy?

"Futurama: Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles (#5.7)" (2003)
Inez Wong: Ah, my Amy is sweet little girl again. This is like a mother's dream... bad dream, that is! At this rate, I'm never going to have a grandchild!
Leo Wong: She may not be grown up, but she sure grow out. She fat!
Amy Wong: Dad, if you're going to make fat jokes until I'm cute again, then I'm just going to stay in my room.
Leo Wong: Stay in your room? You so fat, you to stay all around room.

Philip J. Fry: It worked! We're our original ages again!
Turanga Leela: I think I may even be a few years younger.
Amy Wong: Hey, me too!

"Futurama: Parasites Lost (#3.4)" (2001)
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: [whispers] Shh, be very quiet. We're in the ear.
Amy Wong: [whispers] Okay, Professor.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: WHAT?

Amy Wong: Look! They're jazzercising Fry's muscles.
Hermes Conrad: He'll be as strong and flexible as Gumby and Hercules combined.
Dr. Zoidberg: Gumbercules? I love that guy!

"Futurama: Anthology of Interest I (#2.20)" (2000)
Dr. Zoidberg: [sees a guinea pig on a plate] What's this? Two meals in one week?
[Zoidberg devours the live guinea pig, and is trapped behind a glass box]
Fry: Gotcha!
Amy Wong: Sucker!
Dr. Zoidberg: Friends! Help! A guinea pig tricked me!

[a giant Bender is destroying New York City]
Amy Wong: There goes the neighborhood.
Amy Wong: There goes another neighborhood.

"Futurama: The Day the Earth Stood Stupid (#3.7)" (2001)
[everyone on Earth except Fry is moronically stupid]
Fry: What are we going to do?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Duh, I know, let's play the lottery.
Amy Wong: No, let's buy internet stock.
Dr. Zoidberg: On margin. Zoidbee wants to buy on margin.
Hermes Conrad: [holding a board in front of his face] Look at me. I'm invisible.
Fry: Wait a minute, I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots.
Bender: Hey, let's all join the Reform party.
Everyone: Yeah.

[Everyone on Earth except Fry is moronically stupid]
Fry: What are we going to do?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Duh, I know, let's play the lottery.
Amy Wong: No, let's buy internet stock.
Dr. Zoidberg: On margin. Zoidbee wants to buy on margin.
Hermes Conrad: [holding a board in front of his face] Look at me. I'm invisible.
Fry: Wait a minute, I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots.
Bender: Hey, let's go join the Reform party.
Everyone: Yeah.

"Futurama: I Dated a Robot (#3.15)" (2001)
Fry: I just saw something incredibly cool! A big, floating ball that lit up with every color of the rainbow, plus some new ones that were so beautiful I fell to my knees and cried.
Amy Wong: Was it out in front of Discount Shoe Outlet?
Fry: Yeah.
Amy Wong: They have a college kid wear that to attract customers.
Fry: Well, I don't care if it was some dork in a costume. For one brief moment, I felt the heartbeat of creation, and it was one with my own.
Amy Wong: Big deal.
Bender: We all feel like that all the time. You don't hear us gassing on about it.

"Futurama: I, Roommate (#1.3)" (1999)
Fry: [watching a robot beeping on a wedding on the soap opera "All My Circuits"] Is he objecting or backing up?
Amy Wong: Sounds like both.

"Futurama: Fun on a Bun (#7.8)" (2012)
Amy Wong: Professor, where are we going?
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Well, it's July, right? Let's wait three months and go to Oktoberfest.

"Futurama: All the Presidents' Heads (#6.20)" (2011)
Amy Wong: [after Zoidberg licks Lyndon Johnson's head, he, Amy and Farnsworth are sent back in time to a gallery] I know this place. It's the 1960s. I learned all about it in my drug-taking class.
Andy Warhol: Hello. I'm Andy Warhol, and you are some kind of fabulous lobster man.
Dr. Zoidberg: Right on! Tell me, is there any real soup, or just this schlock?
[Zoidberg, Amy and Farnsworth are sent back to their time]
Andy Warhol: What a horrible bore.

"Futurama: The Prisoner of Benda (#6.10)" (2010)
Hermes Conrad: [Watching Amy eat in Leela's body, which is now obese] Sweet orca of Majorca! You make Fat Albert look like Regular Albert!
Amy Wong: I know! But I can't help myself.
Hermes Conrad: Here, put your mind in my body.
Amy Wong: No! I'll ruin your body too!
Hermes Conrad: Three decades of the munchies beat you to it.

"Futurama: The Mutants Are Revolting (#6.12)" (2010)
Dr. Zoidberg: Everyone debone a bunk and get some shut-eye.
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Zoidberg, show some respect! This is a sacred shrine to the thousands who lost their lives.
Amy Wong: Hey, I found a safe!
[Cut to Farnsworth trying to open the safe with a skull]
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: It's coming loose! Hand me more of that cruise director.

"Futurama: A Clone of My Own (#2.15)" (2000)
Leela: Look, the professor trusts me to fly a giant spaceship. He wouldn't trust the rest of you to take care of his dentures.
Amy Wong: [wearing the professor's dentures] Yes, he would.

"Futurama: Law and Oracle (#6.17)" (2011)
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: On to business.
Amy Wong: Wait, aren't you going to say "Good news, everyone"?
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: That was for Fry's sake. Made the poor guy feel better about himself.

"Futurama: Time Keeps on Slipping (#3.14)" (2001)
[time skipped forward through Fry and Leela's wedding, then divorce, and Fry is wondering how he got Leela to marry him]
Hermes Conrad: Maybe you're just a first-class lover, Fry.
Amy Wong: [quietly, to herself] No...

"Futurama: Fry and the Slurm Factory (#2.4)" (1999)
[Bender is sick]
Amy Wong: You should try homeopathic medicine, Bender. Try some zinc.
Bender: I am forty percent zinc.
Amy Wong: Then take some echinacea, or St. John's Wort.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Or a big, fat placebo. It's all the same crap.

"Futurama: A Farewell to Arms (#7.2)" (2012)
Bender: Get to the point. What does it say about me, Bender?
Amy Wong: Nothing, but it says that a great cataclysm will destroy the world!
Bender: The world? That's where I live! See, I told you I was in there.

"Futurama: When Aliens Attack (#2.3)" (1999)
Amy Wong: [after Amy applies a spray on Bikini top to her breasts] There, how do I look?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Like a cheap French harlot.
Amy Wong: [disappointed] *French*?

"Futurama: A Taste of Freedom (#5.4)" (2002)
Fry: So what is Freedom Day? Sounds like some kind of feminine hygiene product.
Dr. Zoidberg: No. It's a fabulous, crabulous day!
Amy Wong: If you wanna do something, you do it, and to splick with the consequences.
Bender: You know, like how I live every day.
[trips up Hermes]
Hermes Conrad: Happy Freedom Day! Ow, I think I broke my wrist.

"Futurama: The Farnsworth Parabox (#5.10)" (2003)
[Amy is sitting with herself from an alternate universe]
Amy Wong 1: The Professor was right! You are evil... and SHAL-LOW!
Amy Wong A: I am NOT evil!

"Futurama: The Honking (#3.1)" (2000)
Hermes Conrad: And for Bender... Uh-oh. A black-bordered envelope.
Amy Wong: Oh, no! Someone you know must have died.
Bender: I hope it was one of my enemies. Those guys suck.

"Futurama: The Late Philip J. Fry (#6.7)" (2010)
Philip J. Fry: I just need to sign Leela's birthday card. How do you spell XO?
Amy Wong: Guh, it's a record-your-own-message card. You don't sign it, you leave a nude video greeting.
Philip J. Fry: Does it have to be nude?
Amy Wong: I guess not. That never occured to me.

"Futurama: A Flight to Remember (#2.1)" (1999)
[the escape pod is too slow]
Leela: Something's wrong. We're two metric tons overweight.
Amy Wong: Well, it's not ME.

"Futurama: Mother's Day (#2.19)" (2000)
Amy Wong: But the professor can't walk all the way to the Bronx. How are we going to get there without a hovercar?
Philip J. Fry: Wait. In my time we had a way of moving objects long distances without hovering.
Hermes Conrad: Impossible!
Philip J. Fry: It was called... let me think... It was really famous. Ruth Gordon had one... The wheel.
Turanga Leela: Never heard of it.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Show us this "the wheel."

"Futurama: The Futurama Holiday Spectacular (#6.13)" (2010)
Amy Wong: Oh, no! This could be the year without Kwanzaa. Like every year before 1966.

Futurama: Bender's Game (2008) (V)
Dr. Zoidberg: You harbor resentment because they pushed you to study medicine when all you ever wanted was to be a song-and-dance man.
[He dances around and sings a tune then falls to his knees and sobs]
Dr. Zoidberg: Why? Whyyy?
Turanga Leela: I was raised in an orphanarium. My parents are sewer mutants who I never even met until a few years ago.
Dr. Zoidberg: Then you've got to go to them and work this song-and-dance stuff out. Maybe have them cook me nice dinner. No scallions. I hate them.
[to an intercom]
Dr. Zoidberg: Amy, cancel my appointments.
Amy Wong: [Over the intercom] Stop calling me!

"Futurama: The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings (#5.16)" (2003)
Amy Wong: One diet double martini, please.

"Futurama: Viva Mars Vegas (#7.11)" (2012)
Inez Wong: The Mafia took everything! Our home, our casino and our collection of rare, valuable servants.
Amy Wong: Don't worry, Mom. You can stay home with me.
Inez Wong: No we can't, you idiot! Who do you think pays your rent?
Amy Wong: What's rent?

"Futurama: Future Stock (#4.9)" (2002)
Hermes Conrad: We can't compete with Mom! Her company is big and evil! Ours is small and neutral!
That Guy: Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!
Amy Wong: Look, everyone wants to be more like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of will?

"Futurama: Xmas Story (#2.8)" (1999)
Amy Wong: He knows when you are sleeping.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: He knows when you're on the can.
Leela: He'll hunt you down and blast your ass / From here to Pakistan.
Dr. Zoidberg: Oh...
Hermes Conrad: You better not breathe / You better not move
Bender: You're better off dead, / I'm tellin' you, dude.
Fry: Santa Claus is gunning you down!

"Futurama: Bendless Love (#3.6)" (2001)
Turanga Leela: [Picks up L-shaped piece of metal] This is a normal L-unit. Without it, space travel is but the fevered dream of a madman.
Philip J. Fry: Yep.
Bender: Of course.
Amy Wong: Doy!
Hermes Conrad: It's an important unit.
Turanga Leela: And this, my friends, is the L-unit just removed from the ship.
[Unveils a straightened piece of metal; all gasp]
Philip J. Fry: That doesn't look like an L at all. Unless you count lower-case.
Bender: You know we don't!
[Slaps Fry]
Turanga Leela: Whoever did this was strong. This is 340 pounds of Tonka tough steel.
Bender: [Picks up L-unit] Hmmm, it should look like this...
[Bends into L shape]
Bender: ... but instead it looks like this.
[Straightens it out again]
Philip J. Fry: Who would do such a thing?
Bender: Who *could* do such a thing? And by that I mean this.
[Bends L-unit back and forth]
Dr. Zoidberg: Well, gang, it looks like we have another mystery on our hands.

"Futurama: Rebirth (#6.1)" (2010)
Bender: Yeah, we're back.
[All cheer]
Hermes Conrad: Sweet coincidence of Port-Au-Prince! We're back on Earth!
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Of course! That was the Panama Wormhole, the universe's central transportation channel
Dr. Zoidberg: [Chuckles] How humorous.
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Yes, it's sort of a comedy central channel, and we're on it now.
Amy Wong: [after a pause] I get it!