Madeline Ashton
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Quotes for
Madeline Ashton (Character)
from Death Becomes Her (1992)

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Death Becomes Her (1992)
[Helen has a gaping hole in her abdomen]
Madeline Ashton: You're a fraud, Helen! You're a walking lie and I can see right... THROUGH YOU!
[watch through the hole while laughing]

Helen: Oh ok! Well if she's not dead, you tell her to come down here, come right up to me and kiss me on the...
Madeline: Kiss you on the what?
Helen: Mad?
Madeline: Hel...

Ernest Menville: [at Helen's book party] Have you seen her yet?
Madeline: What a joke. She's not even here.
Ernest Menville: Wait. Look over there.
Madeline: [a heavy-set woman stands surrounded by people] Oh! Looks as though she's lost a few pou-
[the heavy set lady moves out of the way to reveal the incredibly thin Helen Sharp]

[after seeing her transformation]
Madeline Ashton: I'm a girl!

Madeline Ashton: Oh, for Christ's sake, at least lie quickly!
Dakota: I'm trying to!

Madeline Ashton: Ernest... my ass! I can see MY ASS!

Madeline Ashton: Wrinkled, wrinkled little star... hope they never see the scars.

[Rose is serving breakfast in bed to Madeline Ashton]
Rose: Good morning, madam. You look absolutely marvelous.
Madeline Ashton: Hey, wait a minute. Aren't you forgetting something?
Rose: Well, it's only Thursday - you told me just to say it...
Madeline Ashton: Well, never mind that. I think I need you to say it every morning.
Rose: Very well. "Oh, madam! You look younger every day!"
Madeline Ashton: Thank you, Rose. Thank you very much.

[Madeline Ashton is requesting another plasma separation]
Madeline Ashton: Are you listening to me? Do you even care? You just stand there with your 22-year-old skin and your tits like rocks and laugh, and...

Anna: How about a nice colagen buff?
Madeline Ashton: "A colagen buff"? You might as well ask me to wash with soap and water!
Anna: I could do your make-up myself...
Madeline Ashton: Make-up is POINTLESS! It does nothing anymore! Are you even listening to me? Do you even care? You stand there with your 22-year- old skin and your tits like ROCKS and laugh at me...

Lisle Von Rhoman: You're scared as Hell... of yourself. Of the body you once knew.
Madeline Ashton: I beg your pardon?
Lisle Von Rhoman: I am the one who understands. I am the one who knows your secret.

Lisle Von Rhoman: How old would you guess I am? C'mon, don't try to flatter me.
Madeline Ashton: Thirty-eight?
[Lisle Von Rhoman glares at her]
Madeline Ashton: TWENTY-eight... no, twenty-three...

Madeline Ashton: Bottoms up!
[Madeline drinks the potion]
Lisle Von Rhoman: Now, a warning.
Madeline Ashton: NOW a warning?

Emergency Room Doctor: I tell you what, kids, it's, uh, odd thing here. Your wrist, uh, far as I can tell, is, uh, fractured in three places. Uh, and you've shattered, uh, two vertebrae, though I can't be certain without an X-ray... The bone protrusion through the skin - that's not a good sign. You're body temperature is below 80, and your, your, your heart's stopped beating.
Ernest Menville: What the hell does that mean?
Emergency Room Doctor: Exactly! What... what... I'm going to get a second opinion.
[the doctor leaves in a hurry]
Madeline Ashton: Well, it could be worse.

Madeline Ashton: [reading the title of Helen's new book] "Forever Young?"...
Rose: I like that title.
Madeline Ashton: [Cackling] Ah, forever young... and eternally fat...

[Lisle demonstrates the potion]
Madeline Ashton: Check ok?
Lisle Von Rhuman: Fine.

Ernest Menville: She's dead!
Madeline Ashton: She is? Oh. These are the moments that make life worth living.

Anna: I am sorry, but the plasma separation is a very traumatic process to the body! Our policy clearly prohibits more than one in a six-month period.
Madeline: So? It's been nearly that long already.
Anna: Miss Ashton, you had one three weeks ago.

Madeline Ashton: Ernest! You pushed me down the stairs.

Madeline Ashton: [after she discovers Dakota has a girl over] Who is the little piece of meat?

Madeline: [From trailer] Dead? Ernest is dead? Everybody's dead!

[upon discovering her neck has twisted a complete 180 degrees]
Madeline Ashton: Ernest... my ass! I can *see*... my ASS!
Ernest Menville: And there's something really wrong with your neck too.

Madeline Ashton: Drink it!
Helen: You have to!
Madeline Ashton: We need you!
[Ernest lets go]

Lisle Von Rhuman: [Lisle is about to give Madeline a potion that grants eternal youth and beauty] But you must make me a promise. The secret that we share must never become public. You may continue your career for ten years. Ten years of perfect, unchanged beauty. But at the end of that time, before people start to become suspicious, you have to disappear from public view forever. You can retire, you can stage your own phony death, or... as one of my clients simply said, I want to be alone.
Madeline Ashton: No. She...
Lisle Von Rhuman: [Lisle nods]

Eulogist: It is my opinion that out beloved Ernest is one man who will, indeed, live forever.
[inaudible for 2 seconds]
Madeline: [sarcastically] Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...
[leaves the church with Helen]