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Quotes for
Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski (Character)
from "Veronica Mars" (2004)

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"Veronica Mars: Welcome Wagon (#3.1)" (2006)
Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: A Saturn for a Mars.
Veronica: In Neptune! Yeah, the planets really aligned for this one. Now, move Uranus; the Mercury's rising.

Wallace: [talking about their dorm room] I took this side, I hope that's cool?
Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: Yeah. I rarely wear clothes inside, I hope that's cool?
Wallace: [laughs] That's not cool, man.

Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: [about Veronica] She's our age and a detective? Is she also a cartoon?

Wallace Fennel: Took this side. I hope that's cool.
Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: Yeah, no sweat. I rarely wear clothes indoors, I hope that's cool.
Wallace Fennel: [chuckles, then stops abruptly] That's not cool at all.

Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: This girl, she's our age? And she's a detective? Is she also a cartoon?

Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: A Saturn for a Mars.
Veronica: In Neptune. Yeah, the planets really aligned for this one. Now, move Uranus. The Mercury's rising.


"Veronica Mars: Of Vice and Men (#3.7)" (2006)
Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: There's a girl in my bed.
Veronica Mars: Yeah buddy!
[Piz looks at Veronica expecting an explanation]
Veronica Mars: . It took a double shot of night time cold medicine to get her down, it also stopped her sniffling. She's pretty worked up about her boyfriend.
Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: Understandable, but, um, where am I sleeping?
Veronica Mars: Well if you play your cards right... the floor.

Veronica: [Veronica has just changed and didn't realize Piz was in the doorway] How long you been standing there Piz? I might expect a tip.
Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: [nervous] Just like two seconds.


"Veronica Mars: Wichita Linebacker (#3.3)" (2006)
Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: It's like Jon Stewart meets Crossfire. If Jon Stewart didn't hate Crossfire.

Parker Lee: Ya-hoo! That's two-thirds of a turkey, bitches! Ah, you're in a deep hole, Piznarski. We're going to totally humiliate you, but, you know, no pressure.
Logan: Refreshments?
Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: Ten martinis.


"Veronica Mars: Spit & Eggs (#3.9)" (2006)
Moe Flater: I don't exactly know how to put this. It's the sort of thing that makes me hate being a resident advisor, but I have to ask. Someone has been leaving a surprise in the third stall every day for the past two weeks. This person apparently never learned how to flush and it's my amateur medical opinion that he's suffering from what must be a terminal disease. So?
Wallace Fennel: Not guilty, man.
Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: Third stall stage right or stage left?
Moe Flater: Stage right.
Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: Yeah, not guilty either.

Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: Hey gang. What's the word? Is it avuncular? No? Just a shot in the dark.


"Veronica Mars: Weevils Wobble But They Don't Go Down (#3.19)" (2007)
Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: Hey. Did anyone else hear there's going to be a Matchbox Twenty reunion show?
Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: So? Rob Thomas is a whore.


"Veronica Mars: Show Me the Monkey (#3.10)" (2007)
Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: These guys were all like, "as long as she's got a pair of... " You know, it was indelicate.
Veronica: What's indelicate about shoes?


"Veronica Mars: The Bitch Is Back (#3.20)" (2007)
Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: I promise, karma's going to take care of him for you.
Veronica: I know. I'm going to run him over with my karma.