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Quotes for
General Beringer (Character)
from WarGames (1983)

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WarGames (1983)
General Beringer: We've had men in those silos since before any of you guys were watching "Howdy Doody"! Now I myself sleep pretty well knowing those boys are down there.

McKittrick: [McKittrick approaches Falken's group on stairs] I don't know what you think you can do here, Stephen.
Stephen Falken: [suddenly noticing] John! Good to see you. I see the wife still picks your ties.
McKittrick: What is- What has this kid been telling you?
Stephen Falken: [looking at screens] How far's he gone?
McKittrick: Well the President about ready to order a counterstrike. That's what we're recommending he do.
Stephen Falken: It's a bluff, John, call it off.
McKittrick: No, it's not a bluff. It's real.
Stephen Falken: [raising his voice from stairs] Hello, General Beringer! Stephen Falken!
General Beringer: [standing] Mr. Falken you picked a hell of a day for a visit!
Stephen Falken: Uh, uh, General, what you see on these screens up here is a fantasy; a computer-enhanced hallucination. Those blips are not real missiles. They're phantoms.
McKittrick: [McKittrick approaches Beringer] Jack, there's nothing to indicate a simulation at all. Everything is working perfectly!
Stephen Falken: But does it make any sense?
General Beringer: Does what make any sense?
Stephen Falken: [points to the screens] That!
General Beringer: Look, I don't have time for a conversation right now.
Stephen Falken: [Falken speaks as he approaches] General, are you prepared to destroy the enemy?
General Beringer: You betcha!
Stephen Falken: Do you think they know that?
General Beringer: I believe we've made that clear enough.
Stephen Falken: [face to face] Then don't! Tell the President to ride out the attack.
Colonel Joe Conley: Sir, they need a decision.
Stephen Falken: General, do you really believe that the enemy would attack without provocation, using so many missiles, bombers, and subs so that we would have no choice but to totally annihilate them?
Female Airman First Class: [on loudspeaker] One minute and thirty seconds to impact.
Stephen Falken: General, you are listening to a machine! Do the world a favor and don't act like one.
Female Airman First Class: [on loudspeaker] One minute and twenty seconds to impact.

McKittrick: General, the machine has locked us out. It's sending random numbers to the silos.
Pat Healy: Codes. To launch the missiles.
General Beringer: Just unplug the goddamn thing! Jesus Christ!
McKittrick: That won't work, General. It would interpret a shutdown as the destruction of NORAD. The computers in the silos would carry out their last instructions. They'd launch.
General Beringer: Can't we disarm the missiles?
Pat Healy: Over a thousand of them? There's no time. At this rate it will hit the launch codes in... 5.3 minutes.
General Beringer: [smiles sarcastically at McKittrick] Mr. McKittrick, after very careful consideration, sir, I've come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks.
McKittrick: I don't have to take that, you pig-eyed sack of shit.
General Beringer: Oh, I was hoping for something a little better than that from you, sir. A man of your education.
Major Lem: [holding a telephone] General, it's the president.
McKittrick: What are you... what are you going to tell him?
General Beringer: I'm ordering our bombers back to fail-safe. We might have to go through this thing after all.

General Beringer: Goddammit, I'd piss on a spark plug if I thought it'd do any good!

General Beringer: Gentlemen, I wouldn't trust this overgrown pile of microchips any further than I can throw it.

Major Lem: [D.S.P. registers a massive launch from Soviet ICBM fields] We have a launch detection. We have a Soviet launch detection.
Colonel Joe Conley: BMEWS confirms a massive attack.
Major Lem: Missile Warning - no malfunction.
Radar Analyst Kirkland: Confidence is high. I repeat, confidence is high.
Airman Fields: Cobra Dane, is this an exercise?
Colonel Joe Conley: Negative, this is not an exercise.
Airman Fields: [to Beringer] General, D.S.P. is tracking three hundred inbound Soviet ICBMs.
General Beringer: [points at the C.C.P.D.S. screen] Tell me this is another one of your simulations, Mr. McKittrick.
McKittrick: It's not, Jack.
General Beringer: Alright. Flush the bombers, get the subs in launch mode. We are at DEFCON 1.
Major Lem: [buzzer sounds] DEFCON 1.

[last lines]
General Beringer: Colonel Conley, take us to DEFCON five.

Captain Knewt: Punch up number five, let me see what you have.
Radar Analyst Kirkland: Yes, sir.
[flips a switch; a map of Soviet submarine deployments appears on screen]
Radar Analyst Kirkland: Twenty-two Typhoon-class submarines departing Petropavlovsk, turning south-bound at Nordkapp. Bearing: zero-nine-*five* degrees.
Captain Knewt: Sergeant, I hope you like vodka.
Radar Analyst Kirkland: Yes, sir. I just hope they don't make me eat none of them damn fish eggs.
Major Daves: [hands General Beringer a report] Sir, the Soviets are denying any increase in their submarine deployment. They want to know what the hell we're doing provoking them.
General Beringer: They're full of shit. We know they're down there. We'll blow their ass out of the water.

Radar Analyst Kirkland: Inbounds presently MIRV-ing. We now have approximately twenty-four possible targets in track.
Colonel Joe Conley: Sir, new time to impact: eight minutes.
Major Dawes: [hands Beringer a telephone] Sir, SAC is launching the bombers. General Powers is on the line.
General Beringer: [into the telephone] Beringer.
[pause]
General Beringer: Goddamn it! We didn't get a launch detection from our satellite!
[pause]
General Beringer: No, no. Radar picked 'em up already out of the atmosphere. That's the first we heard of it.
[Beringer gives phone back to his aide, Major Dawes]
General Beringer: [to Colonel Conley] Get the ICBMs in the bullpen warmed up and ready to fly.
General Beringer: [to Major Dawes] Get me the President on the horn.

Richter: [looking at a report] There's just been a very serious penetration into our WOPR Execution Order file.
Lyle Watson: What the hell's he saying?
Arthur Cabot: Let's have it in English.
General Beringer: I'll give it to you in English - somebody broke into Mr. McKittrick's well-known system and stole the codes that'll launch our missiles. That right, Mr. McKittrick?
John McKittrick: There's no cause for alarm. The system won't accept the launch code unless we're at DEFCON 1. I can have those codes changed in less than an hour.
Lyle Watson: Well, who did this?
John McKittrick: I think the kid's got to be working with somebody on the outside.
General Beringer: I don't know what they're up to, but I sure as hell don't want our bombers on the ground when it happens. Take us to DEFCON 3 and get SAC on the line...
[looks around for Major Daves]
General Beringer: ... where are you?
Major Daves: Uh, sir.
General Beringer: Oh, uh, and get me a report on those subs. I want to know what those bastards are up to.

General Beringer: [on the Gold Phone with the President] Mr. President, we have forty-eight nuclear subs closing in on the United States, and a hundred thousand troops massing in East Germany. We're monitoring their bombers that are on alert...
[an airman shows Beringer a report]
General Beringer: Well that's a load of shit!
[into the phone]
General Beringer: Oh, no, no, sir. Not you. Yes, sir. We'll be in touch as soon as the information changes.
[hands the phone to Major Daves]
Major Daves: Intelligence reports rumors of a new Soviet bomber with stealth capabilities. It can project a false radar image 600 miles away from the real aircraft.
General Beringer: Christ! Now they've got us chasing shadows...