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Quotes for
Donald Crease (Character)
from Sneakers (1992)

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Sneakers (1992)
Crease: Now what are you saying, the NSA killed Kennedy?
Mother: No, they shot him but they didn't kill him. He's still alive.

[Mother (the conspiracy theorist) is reading a tabloid]
Mother: Cattle mutilations are up.
Donald Crease: Don't.
Mother: Sorry.

Mother: They've even got photos of the guy leaving the embassy, through the back service entrance. Hey, Crease, you on?
Donald Crease: Yeah, I'm on.
Mother: Were you still in C.I.A. in '72?
Donald Crease: Yeah, why?
Mother: Did you know the Deputy Director of Planning was down in Managua, Nicaragua the day before the earthquake?
Donald Crease: Now what are you saying, the C.I.A. caused the Managua earthquake?
Mother: Well, I can't prove it, but...

Donald Crease: You guys'll be chalk outlines without me.

Martin Bishop: How's the audio?
Whistler: Good, Mother's pretty close.
Donald Crease: He's just wearing four safety belts this time.
Martin Bishop: What, no parachute?

Donald Crease: There isn't a government on this planet that wouldn't kill us all for that thing.

[Mother walks into the room and triggers the motion sensor]
Donald Crease: This is what's in Cosmo's office. Best motion sensor on the market.
Mother: And watch this.
[he breathes in front of the sensor, and it goes off]
Donald Crease: Also responds to thermal differentials.
Martin Bishop: Does this have a happy ending?
Mother: Oh, yeah. We can wrap you in a full-body suit of neoprene, heat-resistant rubber. Or we can raise the temperature in Cosmo's office to 98.6 degrees - which is probably what we'll have to do, because the neoprene would suffocate you. Either way, you've got a top speed of two inches per second. Any faster than that...
[alarm beeps]
Mother: and, uh, big guys with guns. But you'll probably do fine.
Martin Bishop: Since when am I the one who's...
Mother: This is the same model answering machine that Janek used for the shell of his box, now that's what you'll be carrying across the room at two inches per second. I got that for you because I figured you'd just, you know, want to practice. Remember to go real slow!
Martin Bishop: Slow.
[looks at Crease]
Donald Crease: You get all the *fun* stuff...

[Martin has to walk across Cosmo's office at two inches per second to avoid triggering the motion sensors; outside, Werner arrives with Liz]
Donald Crease: [on radio] Martin? I think you'd better hurry.
Martin Bishop: [through his teeth] The one thing I *can't* do is hurry.

[during the team's surveillance of Dr. Janek, they hear his girlfriend passionately making out with him]
Carl: [instantly] Mr. Bishop, do you mind if I take a look?
Martin Bishop: Carl!
Donald Crease: [pushing Carl away] Grow up.
[taps Martin on the shoulder]
Donald Crease: [whispers] Let me see.

[while infiltrating Janek's office, his girlfriend enters unexpectedly; Martin grabs her, and in the van the others hear muffled screams]
Donald Crease: Who the hell is that?
Mother: Battle stations!

[Crease and Mother are being held at gunpoint by two guards]
Donald Crease: Did I ever tell you why I had to leave the CIA?
Mother: No...
Donald Crease: My temper.
[Behind the guards, Whistler throws the van into reverse. One of the guards spins around to look, and Crease grabs his shotgun and knocks out both guards]
Mother: Wow...
Donald Crease: Motherfuckers mess with me, I'll split your head!

Crease: I can't believe we actually made it back.
Carl: I can't believe we pulled off the greatest sneak in history and can't tell anybody about it.
Mother: You know what I can't believe? I can't believe tomorrow's Thursday!