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: [to Ursula
] If you were my wife, I'd take you down a peg or two.
] Officer Smy
: Hey douche bag. Foster
: [to Ursula
] If you were my wife, I'd massage your feet 'til you fell asleep. Ursula
: Nice try.
: Okie silly dilly dokie-o. I'm an idiot. Mac
: That's true.
: Where are your shoes? Foster
: What are you, the shoe police? Thorny
: I am, and you owe me 20 laps around the bar. Foster
: Black magic only works on the rookie. Thorny
: That's brown magic.
: Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?
[Foster and Mac have pulled a man over for speeding and are deciding what game to play
: All right, how about "Cat Game?" Foster
: Cat Game? What's the record? Mac
: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten. Foster
: Ten? Starting right 'meow?'
[Mac laughs - they walk up to the car, and Foster taps on the driver side
] Larry Johnson
: Sorry about the... Foster
: All right meow. (1) Hand over your license and registration.
[the man hands him his license
: Your registration? Hurry up meow. (2)
[Mac ticks off two fingers
] Larry Johnson
[the man laughs a little
: Is there something funny here boy? Larry Johnson
: Oh, no. Foster
: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
: All right meow, (3) where were we? Larry Johnson
: Excuse me, are you saying meow? Foster
: Am I saying meow?
[Mac puts his hands up for the fourth one, but makes an "eehhh" facial expression, as he is considering the last one
] Larry Johnson
: I thought... Foster
: Don't think boy. Meow, (4) do you know how fast you were going?
: Meow. (5) What is so damn funny? Larry Johnson
: I could have sworn you said meow. Foster
: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?
[Mac is gut-busting laughing
: Am I drinking milk from a saucer?
: Do you see me eating mice? Foster
: [Mac and the man are laughing their heads off now
] You stop laughing right meow! (6) Larry Johnson
: [the man stops and swallows hard
] Yes sir. Foster
: Meow, (7) I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. (8) It's the law.
[rips off the ticket and hands it to the man
: Not so funny meow, (9) is it? Foster
: [Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows
] Meow! (10)
: We could be like Cagney and Lacey. Ursula
: Right. Except Cagney and Lacey were both women.
: I could be Lacey.
[Mac gets shot in the crotch while wearing the steel cup
: How you feelin' there, Mac? Mac
: Good enough... to fuck... your mother.
: You crapped on my heart.
[Ursula meets Foster at a restaurant. Ursula is dressed as a biker, Foster is dressed as a cyclist
: Ah, biker. I'm such an idiot.
: [talking into voice filter
] Freeze motherfucker. Foster
: Oh, god, please don't shoot me. I'm naked. Ursula
: Drop your coat and grab your toes. Foster
: What? Ursula
: I'm gonna show you where the wild goos goes. Foster
: Uh, this isn't happening. I'm a police officer. Ursula, help. Ursula
: Baby, I'm gonna butter your bread.
[Foster turns, sees Ursula is "holding him up"
: [still talking into the voice filter
] You don't have these at your station? Foster
: [grabs the voice filtrator, and speaks into it
] I don't suppose you have a fresh pair of underwear I can borrow? Ursula
: I'm not sure you could fit into my panties.
] Hey, so, Ursula, what's uh, what's goin' on? Ursula
: Don't use that boyfriend voice with me.
: Ain't so funny meow is it?
: [explaining his low number of citations issued
] I can't make them speed. Captain O'Hagan
: Try hiding.
: But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun! Thorny
: [referring to Farva
] Yeah, and his shenanigans are cruel and tragic. Foster
: [after a pause
] Which... makes them not really shenanigans at all. Mac
: [in a silly voice
] Evil shenanigans!
: You're not going to tell anybody about this? Foster
: I already told my mom.
: What's the significance of this John Chimpo fella? Foster
: You know those really cheap Japanese cartoons? No? This is basically a cheaper, Afgahni knockoff. It's this monkey that basically travels around the world, doing nasty things. His butler tries to keep him in line, but, uh... no. Rabbit
: It's really funny, Cap. It's Afghanistanimation! Captain O'Hagan
: The monkey has a butler? Great. Is that what they do in Arabia, Thorny? Thorny
: How the hell should I know?