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: Yeah, we were pretty wild up in Erie, Penn. Lenny
: There was this one time, we stayed up *way* past midnight, and...
: Was she a good kisser? Guy
: Yeah. Faye
: Yeah? Guy
: It would be ungentlemanly of me to elaborate. Faye
: Gentleman. I'd forgotten what you fellas looked like.
: When was the last time you were decently kissed? I mean, truly, truly, good and kissed?
[Asked whether his shades are prescription or just to look cool
: Well, I am the drummer.
: But I thought you already decided on The Echoes. Jimmy
: Nah, some band in Buffalo's the Echoes. And I wasn't wild about that. Lenny
: Let's just call us The - Band You're About To Hear. Chad
: How about The Corvettes? Jimmy
: Is that The Corvettes, or the Chordvettes? Chad
: No, Corvettes, like the car. Jimmy
: Well see, I was thinking like the Chord...
: *Chord*vettes, like chords in our music. Lenny
: [Guy walks in
] Is that "Skitch" Patterson? Chad
: Here he is, Erie's lone beatnik. The Bass Player
: How about the Tempos? Ya know, tempos? Lenny
: Not the Tempos, Tempos. I was in a band already called The Tempos, and we were... terrible. Chad
: Hey Guy, weren't you the drummer for the Tempos? Guy
: Heard that.
: I'm Guy Patterson, I'm from Erie, Pennsylvania, I'm in a band called The Wonders and we just cut a record, we're out here on the coast and I play the drums and I have all your records well not all of them but a lot of them but ah at least I did until some of them got swiped when I was stationed in Germany and you were playing in Germany at the time that I was stationed there, but you know what I couldn't see you because you were playing in Hamburg and I was stationed in Munich but I listen to your records and I think you're great.
[takes a breath
] Guy Patterson
: You are my biggest fan. Dell Paxton
: "Skitch", how did we get here? Guy
: I led you here, sir, for I am Spartacus.
: But we still have a hit record. Mr. White
: Yes, you do.
] Mr. White
: The one-hit Wonders.
[looks at Guy
] Mr. White
: A very common tale.
: Hey, Uncle Bob, when are we gonna get these records? Uncle Bob
] Ah... Luke 21:19. The Bass Player
: And your patience possess ye your souls. Lenny
: Luke? Who's Luke? When are we gettin' the records? Uncle Bob
: We were wondering if you'd like to fill in for Chad just for tonight. Guy
: Why? Lenny
: Asshole... just broke his arm!
: If Jimmy's a genius, I'm U Thant. The Bass Player
: Who's U Thant? Guy
: He's the Secre... forget it.
: I hadn't played in front of people in so long, so I was nervous, but it sounds better fast. Jimmy wanted it slow, but he was wrong, it's an up-tempo number. And we won!
: [after the mantinee at Orpheum
] Guy, I keep telling you, you are the drummer. The backbone, the timekeeper. You can't let a tepid reaction from one matinee house affect your dedication to the band. Guy
: I was playing like one of those little wind-up monkey toys. They booed us off the stage, Phil! Jimmy couldn't even hear how off-key he was. Phil Horace
: You're gonna get it all back tonight, I promise you.
: [first lines; phone rings at Patterson's
] Patterson's. Mr. Patterson
: What's going on down there? Guy
: Dad? Mr. Patterson
: Harriet Priestly just called your mama. Her husband drove by the store and said the lights are still on. What are the lights still doing on? Guy
: Cookin' the books as usual, Dad. Mr. Patterson
: The sign, Guy, the sign is still on. Are we open for business all night now? Guy
: No. Sorry, I'll uh, turn that right off. Mr. Patterson
: Is that music playing on one of them store hi-fis? Guy
: I'll turn that right off, too. Mr. Patterson
] 'Turn that off, too.'
: [after Jimmy leaves the studio after the Hollywood Television Showcase
] Jimmy just quit. Your band is falling apart, Guy. Where's Lenny? Guy
: I have no idea.
: [trying to call the Bass Player to bring him back to the TV studio
] Now I've left 50 messages! Guy
: [hangs up
] WHERE THE HELL IS HE?
: He was joining the Marines in August anyway. It was gonna happen sooner or later. Guys, say hello to Scott Pell, Wolfman. Jimmy
: How you doing? Guy
: Uh, replacement? Mr. White
: Yes. Jimmy
: Who's he player with? Mr. White
: The Techniques, uh... Scott 'Wolfman' Pell
: Roy Maxwell and the Corsairs. Lenny
: Ha-ha... really? Mr. White
: He's your new bass player. Guy
: Mr. White... no offense, but I... we've been together a long time. Mr. White
: There aren't a lot of options here, Guy. Guy
: Can he handle our tunes? Scott 'Wolfman' Pell
: I think I can handle them, junior.
[plays some wicked bass licks
: Ok. Lenny
: Ok. Guy