Guy Patterson
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Quotes for
Guy Patterson (Character)
from That Thing You Do! (1996)

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That Thing You Do! (1996)
Guy: Yeah, we were pretty wild up in Erie, Penn.
Lenny: There was this one time, we stayed up *way* past midnight, and...
[starts laughing]

Faye: Was she a good kisser?
Guy: Yeah.
Faye: Yeah?
Guy: It would be ungentlemanly of me to elaborate.
Faye: Gentleman. I'd forgotten what you fellas looked like.

Guy Patterson: When was the last time you were decently kissed? I mean, truly, truly, good and kissed?

[Asked whether his shades are prescription or just to look cool]
Guy: Well, I am the drummer.

Faye: But I thought you already decided on The Echoes.
Jimmy: Nah, some band in Buffalo's the Echoes. And I wasn't wild about that.
Lenny: Let's just call us The - Band You're About To Hear.
Chad: How about The Corvettes?
Jimmy: Is that The Corvettes, or the Chordvettes?
Chad: No, Corvettes, like the car.
Jimmy: Well see, I was thinking like the Chord...
[writes Chordvettes]
Jimmy: *Chord*vettes, like chords in our music.
Lenny: [Guy walks in] Is that "Skitch" Patterson?
Chad: Here he is, Erie's lone beatnik.
The Bass Player: How about the Tempos? Ya know, tempos?
Lenny: Not the Tempos, Tempos. I was in a band already called The Tempos, and we were... terrible.
Chad: Hey Guy, weren't you the drummer for the Tempos?
Guy: Heard that.

Guy Patterson: I'm Guy Patterson, I'm from Erie, Pennsylvania, I'm in a band called The Wonders and we just cut a record, we're out here on the coast and I play the drums and I have all your records well not all of them but a lot of them but ah at least I did until some of them got swiped when I was stationed in Germany and you were playing in Germany at the time that I was stationed there, but you know what I couldn't see you because you were playing in Hamburg and I was stationed in Munich but I listen to your records and I think you're great.
[takes a breath]
Guy Patterson: You are my biggest fan.
Dell Paxton: Thanks.

Lenny: "Skitch", how did we get here?
Guy: I led you here, sir, for I am Spartacus.

Guy Patterson: But we still have a hit record.
Mr. White: Yes, you do.
[thoughtfully]
Mr. White: The one-hit Wonders.
[looks at Guy]
Mr. White: A very common tale.

Guy: Hey, Uncle Bob, when are we gonna get these records?
Uncle Bob: [thinks] Ah... Luke 21:19.
The Bass Player: And your patience possess ye your souls.
Lenny: Luke? Who's Luke? When are we gettin' the records?
Uncle Bob: Wednesday.

Jimmy: We were wondering if you'd like to fill in for Chad just for tonight.
Guy: Why?
Lenny: Asshole... just broke his arm!
[starts laughing]

Guy: If Jimmy's a genius, I'm U Thant.
The Bass Player: Who's U Thant?
Guy: He's the Secre... forget it.

Guy: I hadn't played in front of people in so long, so I was nervous, but it sounds better fast. Jimmy wanted it slow, but he was wrong, it's an up-tempo number. And we won!

Phil Horace: [after the mantinee at Orpheum] Guy, I keep telling you, you are the drummer. The backbone, the timekeeper. You can't let a tepid reaction from one matinee house affect your dedication to the band.
Guy: I was playing like one of those little wind-up monkey toys. They booed us off the stage, Phil! Jimmy couldn't even hear how off-key he was.
Phil Horace: You're gonna get it all back tonight, I promise you.

Guy: [first lines; phone rings at Patterson's] Patterson's.
Mr. Patterson: What's going on down there?
Guy: Dad?
Mr. Patterson: Harriet Priestly just called your mama. Her husband drove by the store and said the lights are still on. What are the lights still doing on?
Guy: Cookin' the books as usual, Dad.
Mr. Patterson: The sign, Guy, the sign is still on. Are we open for business all night now?
Guy: No. Sorry, I'll uh, turn that right off.
Mr. Patterson: Is that music playing on one of them store hi-fis?
Guy: I'll turn that right off, too.
Mr. Patterson: [mimicking] 'Turn that off, too.'

Mr. White: [after Jimmy leaves the studio after the Hollywood Television Showcase] Jimmy just quit. Your band is falling apart, Guy. Where's Lenny?
Guy: I have no idea.

Guy: [trying to call the Bass Player to bring him back to the TV studio] Now I've left 50 messages!
Guy: [hangs up] WHERE THE HELL IS HE?

Mr. White: He was joining the Marines in August anyway. It was gonna happen sooner or later. Guys, say hello to Scott Pell, Wolfman.
Jimmy: How you doing?
Guy: Uh, replacement?
Mr. White: Yes.
Jimmy: Who's he player with?
Mr. White: The Techniques, uh...
Scott 'Wolfman' Pell: Roy Maxwell and the Corsairs.
Lenny: Ha-ha... really?
Mr. White: He's your new bass player.
Guy: Mr. White... no offense, but I... we've been together a long time.
Mr. White: There aren't a lot of options here, Guy.
Guy: Can he handle our tunes?
Scott 'Wolfman' Pell: I think I can handle them, junior.
[plays some wicked bass licks]
Jimmy: Ok.
Lenny: Ok.
Guy: Fine.