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: [Speaking about Diane Dane
] She told me never trust a label. And I'm beginning to believe her. Lenny
: Well, sure. I mean, come on. They put us up in a first class hotel, all expenses paid, while our record climbs the charts; bunch of lyin' snakes. Jimmy
: Sorry I'm buggin' you! I guess I'm alone in my principles.
[leaves the room
: Oh come on. Oh, there he goes off to his room to write that hit song "Alone in my principles."
: I don't want any of this lover's lament crap. I want something peppy, something happy, something up-tempo. I want something snappy. Jimmy
: [smiles and sings
] I... I quit... I quit... I quit...
: I quit, Mr. White.
: But I thought you already decided on The Echoes. Jimmy
: Nah, some band in Buffalo's the Echoes. And I wasn't wild about that. Lenny
: Let's just call us The - Band You're About To Hear. Chad
: How about The Corvettes? Jimmy
: Is that The Corvettes, or the Chordvettes? Chad
: No, Corvettes, like the car. Jimmy
: Well see, I was thinking like the Chord...
: *Chord*vettes, like chords in our music. Lenny
: [Guy walks in
] Is that "Skitch" Patterson? Chad
: Here he is, Erie's lone beatnik. The Bass Player
: How about the Tempos? Ya know, tempos? Lenny
: Not the Tempos, the Tempos. I was in a band already called The Tempos, and we were... terrible. Chad
: Hey Guy, weren't you the drummer for the Tempos? Guy
: Heard that.
[after Faye has just broken up with Jimmy
: Shoulda dumped you in Pittsburgh!
[He gets up
: Which one of you butts said we were engaged? Mr. White
: The same person who said you had class, Jimmy.
: We were wondering if you'd like to fill in for Chad just for tonight. Guy
: Why? Lenny
: Asshole... just broke his arm!
: [he's just written "Oneders"
] See - the Oneders, Lenny. Lenny
: Yeah, but it looks like the O'Needers. Jimmy
: No, no, no - the Oneders. Lenny
: Got it. Looks like the O'Needers.
: [strums on his guitar
] It just appeared, like magic, for the whole world to see. Faye
: I didn't say anything, I was just as surprised as you. Jimmy
: 'Careful, girls, he's engaged.' Am I supposed to buy you some diamond ring now? Faye
: You're ruining this beautiful moment. Jimmy
: Where'd you get the idea that we're engaged? We're not! Last thing I need in the world!
: We bow, right? In unison, and we're off the stage before the applause dies out. Jimmy
: Well, what if they want an encore? Mr. White
: You unplug and you run, run offstage! Smiling, smiling, of course.
: [Lenny taps his mic before their performance at the Orpheum
] Hey, hey! The mic's not on! Lenny Haise
: [going backstage to Boss Vic Koss
] We - the mic's not working. The mic isn't working. Victor 'Boss Vic Koss' Kosslovich
: All right, who am I not payin' back here? Come on!
[turns on their mics, but the audience complains from the feedback
] Lenny Haise
: [the mic feedback fades
] Thank you. Thank you. We're the Oneders. Victor 'Boss Vic Koss' Kosslovich
: Will you play some friggin' music? C'mon!
[Guy starts playing, but his crash cymbal crashes to the stage, and the audience laughs; he and Lenny right the cymbal again
] Victor 'Boss Vic Koss' Kosslovich
: Right nowww!
: [after their gig at "Weekend at Party Pier"
] Hey, do we have a Top 10 record? Mr. White
: You sure do. Jimmy
: Well, then, we shouldn't be here. Mr. White
: Jimmy, you'd rather be back on that state fair tour? They're playing in North Dakota this week.
: Next, uh... who is Faye? Jimmy
: [Lenny gestures to Jimmy
] Faye's sort of like, like my girlfriend. Mr. White
: Aw, that is so sweet. You want her on tour? She's your costume mistress. OK, boys, do better tonight than you did today.