Michael Garibaldi
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Quotes for
Michael Garibaldi (Character)
from "Babylon 5" (1994)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Babylon 5: Hunter, Prey (#2.13)" (1995)
Michael Garibaldi: [as Stephen's stiching up Garibaldi] You were his professor, what were his grades in sutures?
Dr. Stephen Franklin: 4.0
Dr. Everett Jacobs: 3.7
Dr. Stephen Franklin: What?
Michael Garibaldi: Ow! Forget it! Just make sure my arms are the same length.

Dr. Stephen Franklin: Won't you be recognized?
Michael Garibaldi: No. First off when I'm down there, they don't see me, they see the badge. Second
[putting on his hat]
Michael Garibaldi: I've got an *excellent* disguise.
Dr. Stephen Franklin: Why is my life suddenly flashing before my eyes?

[first lines]
David Corwin: Can I help you?
Michael Garibaldi: Yea. I'm looking for the captain and Ivanova.
David Corwin: They went down to Bay 13. I can link in if you want.
Michael Garibaldi: No, that's okay. I need to talk to them in person. Thanks. - Bay 13? Nobody goes into Bay 13.

Michael Garibaldi: Maybe somebody should've labelled the future "some assembly required".

Dr. Stephen Franklin: Michael, you ever consider climbing out of the barracks sometime and looking around at the world, huh?
Michael Garibaldi: Yeah, I will. When people stop shooting at me.

Merchant: I don't give out names. It's bad for business.
Michael Garibaldi: Yeah well so is having your eyeballs spooned out and served on toast. Now make up your mind and make it up fast because it's getting awfully close to my breakfast time.


"Babylon 5: Eyes (#1.16)" (1994)
[first lines]
Michael Garibaldi: [interrupted assembling a motorcycle by beeping] Stop program. Open.
Lennier: Forgive me for disturbing you in your quarters, Mr. Garibaldi. But I've had urgent orders from Ambassador Delenn.
Michael Garibaldi: What can I do for the Minbari?

Michael Garibaldi: Protests are as much use with the Vorlons as fairy wings on a cement truck.

Michael Garibaldi: If I knew who God was, I'd thank her.

[last lines]
[Garibaldi and Lennier roar by on their Kawa-ZX-11 motorcycle]
Lt. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: It's good to have things back to normal.
Michael Garibaldi: Woo-hoo!

Lennier: Ah Mr. Garibaldi, I was just about to embark on the mysteries of the fuel injection system. Would you care to join me?
Michael Garibaldi: Now do me a favor: Embark on a journey to your quarters so I can get some sleep.
Lennier: Please forgive me. My enthusiasm for this project has made me insensitive to your needs. I will leave at once. When may I begin the work again?
Michael Garibaldi: [to himself] If I kill him I would start a war.
[to Lennier]
Michael Garibaldi: Come back after 1200.

Lt. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Are you going to arrest me, Garibaldi?
Michael Garibaldi: No way. I wanna live to see the future.


Babylon 5: The River of Souls (1998) (TV)
Michael Alfredo Garibaldi: [when the first Soul Hunter ship arrives] All I know is the only time they show up is when someone's about to die.
Zack Allen: [Zack coughs] I just have a dry spot in my throat from the air conditioning. I feel fine! Stop looking at me like that!

Michael Alfredo Garibaldi: [upon seeing Captain Lochley's hologram] Okay, I'm as offended as you are. But I can see why a lot of guys would rent this particular image.
Jacob Mayhew: Actually, it was mainly women.

Captain Elizabeth Lochley: Why else would they choose my image?
Michael Alfredo Garibaldi: I hear it's very popular.
Captain Elizabeth Lochley: Is it?
Michael Alfredo Garibaldi: So I'm told.

Michael Alfredo Garibaldi: You know you are looking kind of pale.
Zack Allen: Don't *start* with me!

Robert Bryson, Ph.D.: I was sorry to hear about Mr. Edgars passing away like that. He was a good man, a visionary.
Michael Alfredo Garibaldi: He was a nut and he was a control freak.
Robert Bryson, Ph.D.: Well these days, only a nut and a control freak would completely fund research into pure science.
Michael Alfredo Garibaldi: He didn't do it because he was trying to advance science or serve the commonwealth. He wanted to own everything that wasn't nailed down or on fire. He wanted to invent anything he couldn't buy and buy anything he couldn't invent.
Robert Bryson, Ph.D.: Perhaps, but he was willing to fund my program, and for that alone, I will always consider him a good man.


"Babylon 5: Between the Darkness and the Light (#4.19)" (1997)
Michael Garibaldi: [after Steven and Lyta have taken weapons from the Mars Resistence] Stephen...
Dr. Stephen Franklin: Shut up! This damn well better be worth it! Because if this story of yours turns out to be bogus, I'm gonna kill you twice! NOW you GOT THAT?

Dr. Stephen Franklin: Now why do you believe her, and not me?
Michael Garibaldi: Because when you lie, it's all over your face. She's a much better liar than you are.
Lyta Alexander: Thank you.
[pause]
Lyta Alexander: Wait a minute!

Dr. Stephen Franklin: [Lyta has just finished doing a deep scan of Garibaldi's mind to see if what he has said about Bester's manipulation of him is true] Michael are you alright?
Michael Garibaldi: I just realized, I need a whole lot more fiber in my diet.
Lyta Alexander: It's true... everything he said, it's all true.
Number One: Like that mean a damn. How the hell do we know what you saw? Why in the hell should we even believe-
[she freezes as Lyta turns around, her eyes completely black]
Lyta Alexander: What do you know about Hell, hmm? Would you like me to show it to you? Mine and his?
[she sends all the images she scanned from Garibaldi's mind into Number One's mind]
Number One: [Reeling from the shock] It's true... every word of it... how did you...
Lyta Alexander: The truth speaks for itself. I'm just the messenger.

Lyta Alexander: Michael, if I do a deep scan, it could damage you.
Michael Garibaldi: But if you don't, they're gonna kill me. Now, a headache I can get over. I'm not sure I'm gonna get over being dead any time soon.

[a shared field bottle gets passed from Stephen to Lyta and from her to Michael ]
Michael Garibaldi: Alright, who gulped? Somebody gulped. Look we have got a long way to go. We're supposed to sip, not gulp.
Dr. Stephen Franklin: I didn't gulp.
Michael Garibaldi: No?
Lyta Alexander: I sipped.
Michael Garibaldi: You I believe.
Dr. Stephen Franklin: What? Now why do you believe her and not me?
Michael Garibaldi: Cause when you lie, it's over your face. She's a better liar than you are.
Lyta Alexander: Thank you. Wait a minute...
Michael Garibaldi: [to Stephen] Look, the next time you carry the canteen, I'm gonna gulp.
Dr. Stephen Franklin: You are so petty, do you know that?
Lyta Alexander: What do you mean I'm a good liar?
Michael Garibaldi: Survival of the fittest.
Lyta Alexander: But I don't like what I'm hearing here. I'm not a great liar. I'm a terrible liar. I don't know who's been saying these things, but I want you to know, that when we get back I am gonna sue somebody. I don't know who and I don't know how, but by God, I am gonna sue somebody!


"Babylon 5: Exercise of Vital Powers (#4.16)" (1997)
Michael Garibaldi: Mars... I can't believe I'm back on Mars. Three times before, this place almost killed me. I swore I'd never give it another chance to finish the job. Humans got no business being here. No business at all.

[monitored by a telepath, Garibaldi tells Edgars of his suspicions about his employment.]
Michael Garibaldi: Everybody lies.
William Edgars: That's a very sad view of the universe, Mr. Garibaldi.
Michael Garibaldi: Yeah, well, it's the only one I got. And it works for me.

William Edgars: Do you know how the ancient Greeks defined happiness?
Michael Garibaldi: Not off-hand, but I'd be willing to bet it involved three goats and a jug of wine.
William Edgars: "Happiness", they said, was "the exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence, in a life affording them scope".

[last lines]
Michael Garibaldi: Three times before, this place almost killed me. And now, I've finally finished the job. I can't feel anything anymore. I don't know what I care about anymore. Except Lise. I screwed up both our lives pretty good. Now I get to make up for it. Assuming any of us can ever make up for anything we've done in the past. Maybe we can't. Maybe we just have to live with it and get on with it and do what we have to. Never what we want to. It has to be done. I hope he can see that one day.


"Babylon 5: The Parliament of Dreams (#1.5)" (1994)
[first lines]
Pilgrim: You don't understand. This is my ceremonial blade. I am a pilgrim here for the sacred day of Chu'dag.
Michael Garibaldi: I don't care if you're the Easter Bunny. You're not bringing this on the station.

Michael Garibaldi: As far as bright ideas go, this is right up there with having my gums extracted.

Londo Mollari: [singsong] Everybody's cute, everybody's cute, even me. But in purple I'm stunning
[collapses]
Vir Cotto: Ahh, he has become one with his inner self.
Michael Garibaldi: He's passed out.
Vir Cotto: That too.

Ambassador Vir Cotto: [after Londo passes out] He's become one with his inner self!
Michael Garibaldi: He's passed out.
Ambassador Vir Cotto: That too.


"Babylon 5: Convictions (#3.2)" (1995)
Michael Garibaldi: [Sheridan starts stuffing his link down his shirt] No. Not there, that's the first place he'll look.
Capt. John Sheridan: [holding the link] Well, where do you suggest I put it?
[garibaldi gives him a look. Sheridan puts it in the back of his pants]

[first lines]
Michael Garibaldi: Let me get this straight. You two are missionaries?
Drazi #1: Yes. Great Sign. We hear you have recent visitation by Drazi higher being.
Michael Garibaldi: Yeah, yeah. Drabonka.
Drazi #1: Droshalla.
Michael Garibaldi: Whatever.
Drazi #1: Appeared in garden, we hear. Droshalla lights the way.

Michael Garibaldi: Zach, do me a favor and explain the missionary ...eh... position to these folks.


"Babylon 5: The Long Dark (#2.5)" (1994)
Michael Garibaldi: Lousy way to die, huh?
Capt. John Sheridan: Hmm. Last time I checked, there weren't too many good ways.

Amis: [yelling in his sleep] Incoming! Incoming! Incoming! Incoming!
Michael Garibaldi: How long has he been like that?
Guard: Couple hours now.
Amis: To the walls. Get to the walls.
Guard: Damn Lurkers. We ought to space all of them.
Michael Garibaldi: Hanson.
Amis: Oh, God. Stop them. Incoming.
Michael Garibaldi: Were you in the war?
Guard: No, I missed it.
Michael Garibaldi: He didn't.
Guard: How do you know?
Michael Garibaldi: I've had that same dream.

Michael Garibaldi: [an alien offers Garibaldi some food that contains moving tentacles] No thanks. I'm trying to cut down.


"Babylon 5: Ceremonies of Light and Dark (#3.11)" (1996)
Sparky the Computer: You know, you look very stressed. This is not good. Hey, how about something to eat? Maybe a nice piece of briskit? Go suck an orange!
Michael Garabaldi: Would somebody please fix this thing before I go out of my mind!

[the command staff have used their command code passwords to reset the station's computer system]
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Peekaboo?
Michael Garabaldi: Would you have guessed it?

[Garabaldi has reset the command codes and rebooted the computer]
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: God, I hate this part. I'm always afraid I've broken something.
Michael Garabaldi: It'll be fine. I've done this before.
[the computer restarts]
Michael Garabaldi: Ah, Told ya. Computer
[pause]
Michael Garabaldi: Computer?
Sparky the Computer: Hey, what do you want?
Michael Garabaldi: Run diagnostics.
Sparky the Computer: What, you got a broken arm or something? I got a station to run here!
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Computer.
Sparky the Computer: I know, do a diagnostic. So, maybe Level 42 doesn't get its quota of oxygen today because I'm distracted, but if it makes you happy!
Michael Garabaldi: Stop!
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Garabaldi?
Michael Garabaldi: I just remembered, they tried to install Artificial Intelligence subroutines when the station went operational. They shut it down right away because it didn't work right. Must have come back on-line when the system re-booted.
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Great! How do we shut it down?
Sparky the Computer: I heard that! Are you two easily offended, or what?


"Babylon 5: Survivors (#1.11)" (1994)
Cmdr. Jeffrey Sinclair: You're more trouble than a toilet full of snakes, but I couldn't run this station without you.
Michael Garibaldi: Commander, I sense a huge pay raise coming my way.
Cmdr. Jeffrey Sinclair: [chuckling] Dream on.

[last lines]
Michael Garibaldi: Seventeen years ago we both died inside, but somehow we survived. For better or worse that's all we can do. Survive, and maybe one day, forget how much it can hurt to be human.
Major Lianna Kemmer: [answering link] Kemmer, here.
Woman: [over link] Major, we're cleared for departure.
Major Lianna Kemmer: I'll be right there. - We've got to get set up for the president's next stop. You know how it is, always on another assignment.
Michael Garibaldi: Yeah. I know.
Major Lianna Kemmer: I'll see you the next time the president visits. He's fond of Babylon 5, you know.
Michael Garibaldi: Then make sure nothing happens to him. We need all the friends we can get.
Major Lianna Kemmer: I will. Goodbye, Michael.
Michael Garibaldi: Goodbye.
Major Lianna Kemmer: Goodbye.

Londo Mollari: Mr. Garibaldi, do you really think, that I would do such a thing to you my good and dear friend?
Michael Garibaldi: In a minute.
Londo Mollari: You're right, but I didn't.


"Babylon 5: Infection (#1.4)" (1994)
[Sinclair is fighting an extremely powerful organic robot soldier]
Sinclair: I'm gonna try and make it mad.
Michael Garibaldi: Make it mad? Are you nuts? Commander!

[first lines]
Mary Ann Cramer: When is the commander due back?
Michael Garibaldi: Soon.
Mary Ann Cramer: How soon is "soon"?
Michael Garibaldi: Longer than a little while, faster than later. He took out a fighter...

Cmdr. Jeffrey Sinclair: Last time I gave an interview, they told me to relax and say what I felt, ten minutes after broadcast I got transferred to an outpost so far off the star maps, you couldn't find it with a hunting dog and a ouija board
Michael Garibaldi: Don't sweat it. Just be that charming effervescent commander we've all come to know and love. What's the worst that could happen? They fire you, ship you off to the rim and I get promoted to captain. I don't see a problem here.
Cmdr. Jeffrey Sinclair: [quotes 'King Lear'] How sharper than a serpent's tooth.


"Babylon 5: No Compromises (#5.1)" (1998)
[Garabaldi has launched his Starfury without donning his flight suit, in order to stop the assassin plotting to kill Sheridan]
Michael Garabaldi: If this cockpit breaches, I'm screwed!

Michael Garabaldi: You know, granted, "military intelligence" is kind of an oxymoron. But anyway, the new head of covert intelligence for the Alliance is pleased to meet you.

[last lines]
Michael Garabaldi: By the way, just curious, which side were you on during the big fight back home?
Capt. Elizabeth Lochley: I was on the side of Earth, Mr. Garibaldi. Weren't we all?


"Babylon 5: Strange Relations (#5.6)" (1998)
Captain Elizabeth Lochley: What the hell is your problem?
Michael Garibaldi: For starters, I don't know you, therefore I don't trust you.
Captain Elizabeth Lochley: The world is full of people you don't know.
Michael Garibaldi: I worry about that all the time.

[last lines]
Captain Elizabeth Lochley: ...I get this nagging suspicion that maybe Bester was right. This thing will blow up in our face. It worries me. I also have this nagging feeling that I'm forgetting something.
Lt. David Corwin: I'm sure you'll figure it out. Good night, Captain.
Captain Elizabeth Lochley: Good night, Lieutenant.
Captain Elizabeth Lochley: Oh no!
[into link]
Captain Elizabeth Lochley: Lochley to security.
security officer: [over link] Security here.
Michael Garibaldi: [over link] I said, let me the hell out of here!
[Sound of something getting thrown]
Captain Elizabeth Lochley: You can release Mr. Garibaldi now.
Michael Garibaldi: [over link] About time.

Michael Garibaldi: Why were you so chummy with Bester?
Captain Elizabeth Lochley: I was stationed at an Earthforce base near a mining company several years ago. A rogue telepath was messing with my people. First, cheating them in the casino and later he killed two of them because they found out what he was. We couldn't find him. Bester did. And he saved the lives of two of my crew. Now, I don't actually like him, and I sure as hell don't trust him but so far, he has not done anything unpleasant to me. I'm sure he will because this place seems to bring that out in everyone. But until then, I have an obligation to be courteous.
Michael Garibaldi: And I have an obligation to shove his face through a bulkhead.
Captain Elizabeth Lochley: Your hobbies are your concern, Mr. Garibaldi. Just do it where I can't see it and do it quietly.


"Babylon 5: Messages from Earth (#3.8)" (1996)
[first lines]
Michael Garibaldi: You know, I've been stuck in this tin can for three years. I haven't taken a vacation. Okay, okay, it's my fault, I had the leave coming, I just didn't take it. And the pay sucks, I knew that when I signed on! And nobody said I'd survive the job! Now, I give you all that. But where in my contract does it say I have to eat the same food... every day... for three years.
Capt. John Sheridan: Paragraph 47, subsection 19, clause 9A. You can find it in the index under S.U.A.E.I.
Michael Garibaldi: S.U.A.E.I.?
Capt. John Sheridan, Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Shut Up And Eat It.

G'Kar: Two weeks down, six to go before I've repaid my debt to society for attacking Mollari. I've taken the opportunity provided by my incarceration to meditate, think, even to sing.
[... ]
Michael Garibaldi: You know what's odd? You seem, I don't know, happier in here than you were out there.
G'Kar: In here, Mr. Garibaldi, you cannot hide from yourself. Everything out there has only one purpose. To distract ourselves from what is truly important.

Cook: Excuse me, Commander
[she places a covered tray with a note on top of it and whispers something in Ivanova's ear. Ivanova reads the note and gives an exasperated sigh]
Michael Garibaldi: What, what what what?
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: It's nothing
Capt. John Sheridan: [leans a bit closer to the tray] I smell bacon and eggs.
Michael Garibaldi: Get outta here, do you know how hard it is to get eggs up here before they spoil? I have tried, it can't be-
[he sniffs the air around the tray]
Michael Garibaldi: Yeah... bacon and eggs, definitely.
[he lifts the lid to find some strips of real bacon and a mound of scrambled eggs. Both he and Sheridan let out expressions of awe]
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: It's from Marcus.
[Sheridan and Garibaldi exchange looks]
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: It's nothing like that, I did him a favor. I got him an Identicard so he could use some of the facilities on the station. He asked what he could do for me in return, I said 'Surprise me'.
Michael Garibaldi: I can get anchovies, I can get olive oil, anything that doesn't spoil, I haven't seen a fresh chicken egg in over three years... I mean, cooked or otherwise.
Capt. John Sheridan: And bacon? Forget it!
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: [Letting out another sigh and looking slightly guilty] Look... if you want it, it's yours.
Michael Garibaldi: Oh no we wouldn't dream of it.
Capt. John Sheridan: Go on, eat.
Michael Garibaldi: We'll just sit right here.
Capt. John Sheridan: Uh-huh. And watch.
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: [Shaking her head in embarrassment] I'm gonna kill him. After breakfast... if I can find him.


"Babylon 5: Shadow Dancing (#3.21)" (1996)
Michael Garibaldi: I just hope you found what you were looking for out there.
Dr. Stephen Franklin: I don't know. I guess I found what I - what I needed not what I wanted.
Michael Garibaldi: Which was?
Dr. Stephen Franklin: Short sharp kick to the head.
Michael Garibaldi: Oh well, hell. I could've done that for you. All you had to do was ask.
Dr. Stephen Franklin: [chuckling] Yeah, well, you would've enjoyed it too much.
Michael Garibaldi: So you didn't meet yourself?
Dr. Stephen Franklin: Yeah, I did. Found out I didn't like myself either
Michael Garibaldi: Well, as revelations go, I guess I've heard worse.

Michael Garibaldi: Sometimes people walk away because they want to be alone, and sometimes they walk away because they want to see if you care enough to follow them into hell. I think I went the wrong way.


"Babylon 5: Darkness Ascending (#5.15)" (1998)
[last lines]
Michael Garibaldi: [to Lise] I want you to get out of this part of space and back home just as fast as you can. Because barring an act of God - and since I don't believe in God, that kind of narrows the odds a bit - by this time tomorrow, we're gonna be at war with the Centauri.

[first lines]
[Garibaldi is dreaming...]
Dr. Stephen Franklin: Michael, we needed you. We couldn't stop him. We needed you.
Michael Garibaldi: Who's out there? Who did this? Who are you? Who's out there?
Michael Garibaldi: Nobody. Yes, yes, yes. We did it all by ourselves.
Michael Garibaldi: That's not true. It's not true.
Michael Garibaldi: Oh, don't fight it. No, you're not gonna win. The more you fight it, the stronger it gets.


"Babylon 5: A Voice in the Wilderness: Part 1 (#1.18)" (1994)
[last lines]
Technician: We've got a ship coming through the jump gate.
Michael Garibaldi: Fine.
Tech #1: Mr. Garibaldi, it's big!
Michael Garibaldi: What the hell?
[to Be Continued]

[to Garibaldi, who is depressed]
Ambassador Londo Mollari: ...Suddenly, I looked up and this beautiful dancer is leaning down over the stage, and looking right into my eyes. And she said: 'Whatever it is, it can't be that bad.' And then she kissed me, right here. Mr. Garibaldi. Whatever it is, it can't be that bad!
Michael Garibaldi: [cheerfully] You try and kiss me and I'll break your arm.
Ambassador Londo Mollari: We're not that close Mr. Garibaldi!
Michael Garibaldi: And the dancer?
Ambassador Londo Mollari: Oh I married her.
Michael Garibaldi: No!
Ambassador Londo Mollari: Yes! That day! The next day I woke up, I saw her in the light of day, sleeping against my arm and I decided I would rather chew off my arm than wake her up.
Michael Garibaldi: Oh that's sweet.
Ambassador Londo Mollari: No, no. She had a voice that could curdle fresh milk.


"Babylon 5: Midnight on the Firing Line (#1.1)" (1994)
Londo Mollari: [arguing with Garibaldi] We made a mistake, I'm sorry. Here, open my wrists.
[offers Garibaldi his wrists]
Michael Garibaldi: Centauri don't have major arteries in their wrists.
Londo Mollari: Of course not, what, do you think I am stupid?

Ambassador Londo Mollari: Mr. Garibaldi, just now, would you really have killed me?
Michael Garibaldi: Yes. Yes, I would've, but I'm just as glad I didn't have to. The paperwork's a pain in the butt.


"Babylon 5: Voices of Authority (#3.5)" (1996)
[first lines]
Zack Allan: Yes, these weekly meetings are a pain in the butt.
Michael Garibaldi: Yeah, I know, I know, but it's the regs...

[last lines]
G'Kar: I told you I could help. The Book of G'Quan. Read it. We'll talk afterwards.
Michael Garibaldi: I don't read Narn.
G'Kar: Learn!
Michael Garibaldi: He hates me. They all hate me. That's why they're doing this. To make me crazy. Lights.


"Babylon 5: In the Kingdom of the Blind (#5.9)" (1998)
[after Byron tries to blackmail the Alliance council]
Michael Garibaldi: Never, ever, ever trust a telepath. I swear to you, I'm gonna have that tattooed inside my eyelids.

[first lines]
President John Sheridan: All right, what's wrong now?
Michael Garibaldi: This is my analysis of the latest reports from the Rangers. We've had a major increase in attacks against shipping lines of Alliance worlds in the recent weeks.
President John Sheridan: Hit-and-run attacks, very efficient. No survivors, no warning.


"Babylon 5: GROPOS (#2.10)" (1995)
Gen. Richard Franklin: I had an Alfredo Garibaldi under my command during the Dilgar Invasion. Excellent soldier.
Michael Garibaldi: That was my dad.
Gen. Richard Franklin: So much for genetics.

[last lines]
Lou Welch: Chief?
Michael Garibaldi: Yeah.
Lou Welch: The first casualty reports are in from Akdor. You said you wanted to see them.
Michael Garibaldi: Yeah.
[reads]
Jane: [ISN news] President Clark is expected to congratulate Gen.Franklin on this spectacular victory.
[Lt.Keffer reading casualty report]
Jane: Meanwhile, preparations are under way for yet more Earthforce divisions to join the 356th on Akdor.
[casualties]


"Babylon 5: Sleeping in Light (#5.22)" (1998)
John Sheridan: A toast... to absent friends, in memory still bright.
Michael Garibaldi: [Everyone raises their glasses] G'Kar.
Vir Cotto: Londo.
Delenn: Lennier.
Dr. Stephen Franklin: Mar...
Susan Ivanova: [cutting off Franklin] Marcus.

[first lines]
Michael Garibaldi: [voiceover] The Interstellar Alliance, based on the Homeworld of the Minbari Federation, was founded in the Earth year 2261 shortly after the end of the Shadow War, 20 years ago. Twenty years of history. Those of us who survived have seen it all and those of us who understand have been waiting and dreading the arrival of this day.


"Babylon 5: Grey 17 Is Missing (#3.19)" (1996)
Supervisor: I'm telling you, it's like he just vanished into thin air.
Michael Garibaldi: "Thin air." Why is it always "thin air"? Never fat air, chubby air, mostly-fit-could-stand-to-lose-a-few-pounds air.
Supervisor: I'm sorry, Sir, that's not my department.

[last lines]
Michael Garibaldi: Captain. You wouldn't believe the day I've had.
Capt. John Sheridan: The day you've had? We had an assault on Marcus, someone got into the Rangers' ceremony, could have killed Delenn. And where were you?
Michael Garibaldi: Okay. Well first, there was this missing maintenance man, only he wasn't missing. He was killed by a Zarg, but I'm getting ahead of myself. That was after I found out that the entire 17th floor of Grey Sector had completely disappeared. Well, not disappeared exactly. This weird cult had taken over the place, see. Then there was a dummy that shot tranqs out of its eyes. Very strange. But it was all supposed to be perfect. That was the thing about it. And there wasn't a way out, but there was. Except it was spiritual, you had to die a perfect death. That's where the Zarg came in and it was gonna kill me or I was gonna kill it, and - Am I going too fast for you?


"Babylon 5: And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place (#3.20)" (1996)
[first lines]
Title Card: Z Minus 14 Days
Michael Garibaldi: Indira, Magda, you're with the Pak'ma'ra. Sorry. Try not to drink the water. Na'karee, you're gonna be rendezvousing with the Narn resistance in Sector 40. Thanks. Glendora...
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: [voiceover] Commander's Personal Log: December 7, 2260. We're shipping out telepaths as fast as we can to the races that have signed on against the Shadows. Upon arrival they'll be assigned to warships already on patrol. ...

Michael Garibaldi: This isn't going to be easy.
G'Kar: Nothing worthwhile ever is.


"Babylon 5: Babylon Squared (#1.20)" (1994)
Cmdr. Jeffrey Sinclair: [after making Ivanova believe she slept through breakfast. Rises from table] I'll notify your next of kin.
Michael Garibaldi: 4... 3... 2... 1...
Lt. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: [in the distance] OH! GARIBALDI! YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!

[first lines]
Sinclair: Good morning, Lieutenant Commander.
Susan Ivanova: Morning.
Michael Garibaldi: Nothing personal. You look like hell.
Susan Ivanova: I know. I know. C&C woke me up an hour early...
[... ]
Susan Ivanova: God I hate mornings.
Sinclair: We noticed. Personally I find it the best part of the day.
Susan Ivanova: We all have our cross to bear.
Sinclair: The time I learned to really appreciate mornings was during the three years I spent being taught by Jesuits. We used to get up at five o'clock every morning for sunrise mass, then one hour of meditation before class. We'd sit, quiet, in peace. Breathing in, breathing out. Breathing in, breathing out. Breathing in, breathing out.


"Babylon 5: Dust to Dust (#3.6)" (1996)
Alfred Bester: If I had my talent working, I could have warned you when he was coming.
Michael Garibaldi: And if I had a baseball bat, we could hang you from the ceiling and play piñata.
Alfred Bester: A piñata, huh? So, you think of me as something bright and cheerful, full of toys and candy for young children? Thank you! That makes me feel much better about our relationship.

Michael Garibaldi: [talking about the danger of Bester scanning them] He turns us in, we're court-martialed then shot for treason or we kill him, before he has a chance to tell anybody.
Dr. Stephen Franklin: I will not support murder. We can not kill him.
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Can we wound him? Just a little?


"Babylon 5: Matters of Honor (#3.1)" (1995)
Michael Garibaldi: I try never to get involved in my own life. Too much trouble.

Michael Garibaldi: And what kind of head of security would I be if I let people like me know things I'm not supposed to know. I know what I know because I have to know it. And if I don't have to know it, I don't tell me or let anybody else tell me either.


Babylon 5: A Call to Arms (1999) (TV)
Michael Garibaldi: [Drake has a PPG pointed at Garibaldi] Because if you are going to blow my head off, I suggest you do it right now or I am going to tear your heart out. And if you do shoot me, the rest of my people will be all over you. And what they'll do to you is worse than anything I could dream up in a thousand years. And I can dream real dark.

Michael Garibaldi: [to Sheridan] You were looking at gibberish for 20 minutes. Look, you wanna do that, swing by my place some time, and I'll show you some 20th century television.


"Babylon 5: Ship of Tears (#3.14)" (1996)
PsiCop Alfred Bester: We're not expendable; mundanes are.
Michael Garibaldi: That would be us.
PsiCop Alfred Bester: Got it in one, Garibaldi.

[first lines]
Michael Garibaldi: Did you hear? They're putting ISN back online.
Dr. Stephen Franklin: If ISN's broadcasting again, maybe that means things are better back home.


"Babylon 5: TKO (#1.14)" (1994)
[last lines]
Walker Smith: [leaving; to Garibaldi] Watch your back!
Caliban: He fought bravely.
Michael Garibaldi: The best I've ever seen.


"Babylon 5: The War Prayer (#1.7)" (1994)
Lt. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: You're a vicious man.
Michael Garibaldi: I'm Head of Security. It's in the job description.


"Babylon 5: Mind War (#1.6)" (1994)
[after watching the commanders report of what has happened during the episode]
PsiCop Alfred Bester: You realize of course my superiors will believe none of this?
Cmdr. Jeffrey Sinclair: Yes, especially since in about an hour we'll have a small accident in data storage that'll erase the file you just saw.
PsiCop Alfred Bester: So what do you suggest?
Michael Garibaldi: Something close to the truth: That Ironheart's ship escaped Babylon 5 but exploded before it could enter the jumpgate.
PsiCop Alfred Bester: And if I refuse?
Cmdr. Jeffrey Sinclair: Then my report will mention how you lied to us, endangered the station and through your interference caused the death of your fellow Psi Cop.
PsiCop Alfred Bester: Not much of a choice. Is it?
Cmdr. Jeffrey Sinclair: It gets better: Your report will indicate that Talia Winters was not responsible for her actions in helping Ironheart, that she was under his mental control and should not be penalized for her actions.
PsiCop Alfred Bester: That's a lie.
Cmdr. Jeffrey Sinclair: Yes, it is. What's your point?
Michael Garibaldi: There's a transport leaving for Earth in 20 minutes, Mr. Bester. Be on it.


"Babylon 5: Passing Through Gethsemane (#3.4)" (1995)
Michael Garibaldi: I'm an eye-for-an-eye, tooth-for-a-tooth kind of guy.
Delenn: So you support a system that would leave everyone blind and toothless.
Michael Garibaldi: Not everyone. Just the bad guys.


"Babylon 5: The Face of the Enemy (#4.17)" (1997)
Wade: It's the tyranny of evolution. Sooner or later, you have a species that will have a genetic or technological advantage and that species will always conquer a species without that advantage. Carthage, the triumph of the Homo sapiens over the Neanderthal showed us that. Now what do we have? We have Homo superior versus Homo sapiens. On a level playing field, Homo superior wins every time.
Michael Garibaldi: Unless we cheat.


"Babylon 5: Walkabout (#3.18)" (1996)
[first lines]
Londo Mollari: A Narn heavy cruiser? This is intolerble! By treaty all Narn warships will be turned over to Centauri forces.
Michael Garibaldi: Sorry, we didn't sign that treaty. You got a problem, call Earth. If they hadn't forced us to break away, we wouldn't need a mutual protection agreement. We take every ship we can get.
Londo Mollari: And what guarantee will you give me that the cruiser will not open fire on a Centauri vessel as it approaches Babylon 5, hmmm?
Michael Garibaldi: The same guarantee I gave you when I said that none of the other Narns would break into your room in the middle of the night and slit your throat.
Londo Mollari: Mr. Garibaldi, you have never given me that promise.
Michael Garibaldi: You're right. Sleep tight.


"Babylon 5: Grail (#1.15)" (1994)
Michael Garibaldi: [Last lines] No boom?
Commander Jeffrey David Sinclair: No Boom.
Susan Ivanova: No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody's got to have some damn perspective around here! Boom. Sooner or later. BOOM!


"Babylon 5: Conflicts of Interest (#4.12)" (1997)
[first lines]
Ben: Garibaldi. Garibaldi, I got your message. Okay, fine. So another pointless meeting. Here I am.
Michael Garibaldi: [to previous client] Why don't you take off. I'll call you if I find out anything, all right?
Ben: Three weeks, Garibaldi. Three weeks since I asked you to help find my daughter. I haven't been able to eat, I haven't been able to sleep since we were separated during the raid on the Aris Colony. And all I get from you is silence, except when you want more money or information. The same questions over and over.


"Babylon 5: Racing Mars (#4.10)" (1997)
[last lines]
Wade: Are you with us?
Michael Garibaldi: I won't hurt him.
Wade: No one's asking you to. You give him to us when we tell you to. We'll see to it that he gets the help that he needs. - Are you with us?
Michael Garibaldi: I'm with you.


"Babylon 5: A Tragedy of Telepaths (#5.10)" (1998)
President John Sheridan: She went where?
Michael Garibaldi: Right down the shaft, right smack in the middle of them. Zack just gave me the news. You've got to give it to her, she's got guts.
President John Sheridan: She is crazy! She was crazy when I knew her almost 20 years ago, she's just as crazy now.
Michael Garibaldi: [laughing] *You* hired her.
President John Sheridan: Don't remind me.


"Babylon 5: Falling Toward Apotheosis (#4.4)" (1996)
[Ivanova and Garibaldi survey the fleet gathered around B5.]
Michael Garibaldi: That is a hell of a lot of ships.
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: And more on the way. The captain wants the biggest fleet in history if we're gonna end this war. The way things are shaping up out there it looks like he just might get it.
Michael Garibaldi: And then what?
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: And then what what?
Michael Garibaldi: Well if we lose, there is no "then what", and if we win, what next? We're still renegades. I don't think there's anybody left on this side of the galactic core we haven't already honked off. We can't go home. Sometimes I don't know which scares me more, winning or losing.
Michael Garibaldi: God, I thought I was depressing.


"Babylon 5: The Summoning (#4.3)" (1996)
[last lines]
Michael Garibaldi: We could barely stop the Shadows. How do we stop them and the Vorlons?
Lyta Alexander: I don't know. All I know is that unless you do stop them it won't matter who wins and who loses because none of us, not a single world in 70 light-years in any direction, will live to see it.


Babylon 5: The Gathering (1993) (TV)
Garibaldi: I wonder if they'll ever find that transmitter you slipped in G'kar's drink.
Sinclair: No they won't. Because there is none. If I had put one in, sooner or later, they would have found it. This way, they'll keep looking.
Garibaldi: Are you aware of the tests they'll perform and the things they'll do to him?
Sinclair: Yes. Come on.
Garibaldi: There are some days I love this job.


"Babylon 5: Spider in the Web (#2.6)" (1994)
Michael Garibaldi: Well, my pop always said that laughter was better than pills for what ails you.


"Babylon 5: No Surrender, No Retreat (#4.15)" (1997)
[last lines]
Guard: When you coming back?
Michael Garibaldi: I'm not.
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: [as anchor for the Voice of the Resistance] The Centauri and Narn governments issued a joint statement today recognizing the legitimacy of the liberation of Proxima and throwing their support behind the new campaign. It is our hope that this unprecedented act of cooperation between two previously hostile governments will mark the beginning of a new age of cooperation and trust.


"Babylon 5: Legacies (#1.17)" (1994)
[first lines]
Michael Garibaldi: I still don't understand why we have to lay out the welcome mat for these guys.
Cmdr. Jeffrey Sinclair: When the greatest warrior leader the Minbari ever had dies suddenly while on a diplomatic tour, it's natural they want to honour him on his journey home.


"Babylon 5: Believers (#1.10)" (1994)
[last lines]
Michael Garibaldi: What happened out there?
Lt. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Nothing.
Michael Garibaldi: Nothing? I just got back the repair order on your fighter. It'll be in the shop for a week, minimum. And on top of that I hear you broke regs about leaving formation and engaging in combat without backup.
Lt. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: It was an educated risk. - Sometimes it works out.
Michael Garibaldi: And sometimes it doesn't. It's a long story. Come on, I'll fill you in.


"Babylon 5: By Any Means Necessary (#1.12)" (1994)
G'Kar: I'm fed up with your fabrications, Mollari!
Mary Ann Cramer: Commander, do you have a comment on this?
Londo Mollari: I demand you arrest him!
G'Kar: I demand you arrest him!
Sinclair: That's enough! Get the hell out of here. All of you, now! Lieutenant Commander Ivanova, in 10 seconds you will escort any unauthorized persons still present to the brig and leave them there.
Lt. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Yes, sir. Ten, nine, eight, seven...
Londo Mollari: I'm filing an official protest.
G'Kar: I'm filing two.
Lt. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Six, five...
Mary Ann Cramer: You are impeding the public's right to know, Commander!
Lt. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: FOUR, THREE...
Michael Garibaldi: [G'Kar, Molloari, and Cramer leave, Garibaldi appears] Two. One. So, what'd I miss?


"Babylon 5: All Alone in the Night (#2.11)" (1995)
[last lines]
Capt. John Sheridan: ...the bottom line: If anything goes wrong, we're on our own. Anybody wants to leave now before you hear anything you'll have to report: do so. Nothing will be said.
Michael Garibaldi: I'm in.
Dr. Stephen Franklin: Ditto.
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Hey, I never did know when to butt out. We're with you, captain. Wherever this goes, however it ends, we're with you.


"Babylon 5: Point of No Return (#3.9)" (1996)
Zack Allan: [after leading Nightwatch into a cargo bay] They're all yours, Captain.
[takes off his Nightwatch patch]
Capt. John Sheridan: Thanks Zack.
Michael Garibaldi: You did the right thing.
Zack Allan: Everyone keeps saying that, I'm not really sure who means it, but this time, yeah I think I did.


"Babylon 5: Learning Curve (#5.5)" (1998)
Zack Allan: Did it ever occur to you that just because somebody doesn't agree with you that doesn't mean they're the enemy?
Michael Garibaldi: No.


"Babylon 5: Exogenesis (#3.7)" (1996)
Marcus Cole: ...Well thank you, Mr. Garibaldi, one of the leading minds of the 14th century.
[goes on and on... ]
Michael Garibaldi: Don't you ever shut up?
Marcus Cole: Not until I get what I want. Why? Do you think silent meditation would work better?


"Babylon 5: The Geometry of Shadows (#2.3)" (1994)
[first lines]
Dr. Stephen Franklin: Breathe in, please. Again, slowly. Does it hurt when I do that?
Michael Garibaldi: No. No, it's fine. I don't - I don't feel a thing. Ow! Hey, hey, hey.
Dr. Stephen Franklin: I don't like it when my patients lie to me...


"Babylon 5: The Wheel of Fire (#5.19)" (1998)
Michael Garibaldi: I need to know Lyta. Something's happened to your abilities. You're not a P-5 anymore. Hell, you're not even a P-12. You're the strongest telepath that I've ever seen. What did the Vorlons do to you Lyta? Who...? What are you?
Lyta Alexander: I've only recently begun to understand it myself. You know the Vorlons used telepaths as weapons during the Shadow War but what no one stopped to consider was that in a war you have a certain number of small weapons, a certain number of medium-size weapons and one or two big ones. The kind of weapons you drop when you're out of small weapons and the medium weapons and you've got nothing left to use.
Michael Garibaldi: Someone like that would be the telepathic equivalent of a thermonuclear device - a doomsday weapon.
Lyta Alexander: [Lytas eyes begin to glow as she turns toward Garibaldi] Pleased to meet you, Mr. Garibaldi.


"Babylon 5: Meditations on the Abyss (#5.14)" (1998)
[last lines]
[Garibaldi stumbles into his quarters.]
Michael Garibaldi: Sh- Show me the way to go home, I'm tired and I want to go to bed. I had a little- oh, that's a big drink- about an hour ago and it went right to my head. - What did I do with that link? You here, Linky, Linky, Linky? Here, Linky?
[finds his link]
Michael Garibaldi: Oh, the missing link!
Michael Garibaldi: [over link] ... Yep. I wanna suicide pizza and I want it right now.
Man: Yes, Sir. We'll do our best.
Michael Garibaldi: I bet you will.
[He lies down on the floor and pours himself another drink.]


"Babylon 5: The Illusion of Truth (#4.8)" (1997)
Dan Randall: Can I sit?
Michael Garibaldi: That's between you and your chiropractor - I don't get involved.


"Babylon 5: Moments of Transition (#4.14)" (1997)
[first lines]
Michael Garibaldi: Oh, what the hell is it with this place? I can't get just one solid night's sleep. - Lights. - Yeah, what is it?
Computer: Incoming message from Mars, sent by William Edgars. Do you wish to receive?
Michael Garibaldi: Yeah, put it through.
William Edgars: Good Morning, Mr. Garibaldi.
Michael Garibaldi: Mr. Edgars, have I ever mentioned to you that there is a seven-hour time difference between Babylon 5 and Mars?


"Babylon 5: Knives (#2.17)" (1995)
[first lines]
[Sheridan at baseballtraining]
Computer: Home run.
[Sheridan hits another ball]
Computer: Fair ball.
Michael Garibaldi: You're swinging like you've had a rough day.


"Babylon 5: The Deconstruction of Falling Stars (#4.22)" (1997)
[first lines]
[a shuttle, with "Just married" painted on, docks into B5]
Man over radio: Shuttle 1 to C & C. The package is on its way in.
Woman over radio: Confirmed, Shuttle 1.
Michael Garibaldi: [to the cheering crowd] Hang on. Hang on.
Michael Garibaldi: [to Delenn and Sheridan] Welcome home!


"Babylon 5: Intersections in Real Time (#4.18)" (1997)
[first lines]
[cutbacks:]
Michael Garibaldi: Captain, I just thought you should know. They've got your dad, John. They traced him through his medication, picked him up at a safe house two days ago, just outside of Chicago. Now look, we've got a couple of days before they can move on this, and we should be able to break him out. I've got some people who can help, but they want a meeting.
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: I mean it, John. I don't like the way this sounds, I dont like the way it looks, I don't like anything about it. It stinks of a setup.


"Babylon 5: Severed Dreams (#3.10)" (1996)
Major Ed Ryan: Captain.
Captain John Sheridan: Major Ryan.
[looks behind him]
Captain John Sheridan: Where's General Hague?
Major Ed Ryan: General Hague was killed in our last firefight. We were coming back from a meeting with some officials on Orion 7 when we were ambushed. He was on his way to the command deck when we were hit amidships by the Clarkstown. In his absence, I've tried to carry on as best I can. Between this and what's been going on back home, the crew is... just stunned.
Captain John Sheridan: [continues] What's the latest on the coup?
Major Ed Ryan: A few senators have managed to escape Earthdome, shock troops are out in force everywhere, Paris, London, New York, Moscow, New Delhi.
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: How are the folks back home dealing with all this?
Major Ed Ryan: That's the irony. Most of them have welcomed martial law. It's cut crime down to nothing. On the surface, it's peaceful.
Captain John Sheridan: Yeah, the peace of the gun.
Michael Garibaldi: Why haven't we seen any of this on ISN?
Major Ed Ryan: ISN is walking a fine line. They know if they push too far, they'll be shut down. We have one chance. Mars has rejected martial law. If they can stand up to Clark, they might be able to rally support from some of the other colony worlds and push him out of power.
Michael Garibaldi: Unless he pushes back.
Captain John Sheridan: Oh, he's overextended already. Ah, his power base is back on Earth where he has Nightwatch and the bulk of our forces.
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: I just can't believe so many people in Earthforce would go along with all this.
Major Ed Ryan: He spent the last year putting his people in key places. Anyone who raises a voice is immediately arrested and charged with treason, Under conditions like that, it's... it's easier to keep quiet.
[link beeps]
Major Ed Ryan: Yeah?
Bill Trainor: We just intercepted a coded message from Earthforce Command. They've started bombing Mars. I repeat, they're bombing Mars.
[everyone reacts with disbelief]


"Babylon 5: A Late Delivery from Avalon (#3.13)" (1996)
Michael Garibaldi: What are you so nervous about? We went up against the entire earth alliance, and two carrier groups.
Security Guard #2: Yeah, but this is the post office, this could get us in real trouble.


"Babylon 5: A Voice in the Wilderness: Part 2 (#1.19)" (1994)
[last lines]
Delenn: ...He discovered something inside him that he thought was buried long ago.
Michael Garibaldi: Yeah, well, one thing I've discovered is that some things are better left buried. Good night, ambassador...
Delenn: Good night, old friend. Sleep well.


"Babylon 5: In the Shadow of Z'ha'dum (#2.16)" (1995)
[first lines]
Michael Garibaldi: Zack, what've got?
Zack Allan: Another 200 refugees in from Sector 29. And we've got 5 more ships due by the end of the day...


"Babylon 5: Deathwalker (#1.9)" (1994)
[last lines]
Michael Garibaldi: Ambassador Kosh has been a busy boy.
Cmdr. Jeffrey Sinclair: They say God works in mysterious ways.
Michael Garibaldi: Maybe so. But He's a con man compared to the Vorlon.


"Babylon 5: Divided Loyalties (#2.19)" (1995)
Michael Garibaldi: I guess this wouldn't be a good time for me to suggest we all join hands and sing Kumbaya?


"Babylon 5: Acts of Sacrifice (#2.12)" (1995)
[last lines]
Londo Mollari: ...It is good to have friends, is it not, Mr. Garibaldi? Even if maybe only for a little while?
Michael Garibaldi: Even if only for a little while.


"Babylon 5: Whatever Happened to Mr. Garibaldi? (#4.2)" (1996)
Voice: Please restrain yourself, Mr. Garibaldi, or you will hurt yourself. We can't allow that.
Michael Garibaldi: [pacing the room] Yeah? Why not?
Voice: We have orders.
Michael Garibaldi: [intercut as if he's asked this many times] Orders? Whose orders? *Orders*? Whose orders? *Whose orders?*
Voice: We can't tell you that. You must know that by now.
Michael Garibaldi: Look, just - *What do you want from me?*
Voice: We want to know what you remember after being taken from Babylon 5.
Michael Garibaldi: I told you, I don't remember anything!
Voice: Your vital signs indicate you're being somewhat less than honest. You're just trying to avoid discomfort by telling us what you think we want to hear.
Michael Garibaldi: [sarcastic] Why would I do that, huh? Maybe because you got me stuck in this tomb? I don't know where the hell I'm at? Maybe figuring out what *you want* is the only way out? Well, *silly me*!
Voice: [intercut as if he's been told this many times] Don't think, Mr. Garibaldi. Don't think, Mr. Garibaldi. Just tell us the truth.
Michael Garibaldi: Aw, gimme a break!
Voice: What happened after you left Babylon 5?
Michael Garibaldi: I *told* you I don't remember!
Voice: What happened after...
Michael Garibaldi: [enraged] *I said I don't remember!*
Voice: What happened?
[Garibaldi rips a piece off the chair in the center of the room and begins punctuating his words by battering the rest of the chair with it]
Michael Garibaldi: I *don't*...
Voice: What happened?
Michael Garibaldi: ...*remember*...
Voice: Stop that, Mr. Garibaldi!
Michael Garibaldi: ...*anything*...
[Michael bashes the door once, futilely, and then goes to work on the light fixtures, shattering them one by one, shouting incoherently]
Voice: Stop it, Mr. Garibaldi. We can force you to behave.