Cooter Davenport
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Quotes for
Cooter Davenport (Character)
from "The Dukes of Hazzard" (1979)

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The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
Cooter: [talking about the General Lee] I'm fixin' to fix it.
Rosco P. Coltrane: You're fixin' to fix it? Boy, you couldn't fix an election if your brother was the governor.

Cooter: [from the unrated version] Here, take my truck.
Luke Duke: Well, what if someone needed a tow?
Cooter: well, if I can't "toe" 'em, i'll just finger 'em.

Cooter: [from the edited version] Here, take my truck.
Luke Duke: Well, what if someone needed a tow?
Cooter: I've had 9 tows in 3 years, and you boys have been 8 of 'em!

The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning (2007) (TV)
Cooter: People used to dare each other to jump the ravine. Some stupid son of a bitch tried.
Luke Duke: Sounds like he didn't make it.

Cooter: Shit, I'm willing to try anything. Except guy on guy.

"The Dukes of Hazzard: Boss Behind Bars (#6.6)" (1983)
Uncle Jesse: Cooter?
Cooter: Sir.
Uncle Jesse: Do me a favor and stay close to Daisy while they're around, will ya?
Cooter: That ain't no favor, Uncle Jesse, that's a delight.
Daisy Duke: Thanks, Cooter.

"The Dukes of Hazzard: Jude Emery (#2.19)" (1980)
Cooter: [rolling out on his creeper from examning the undercarriage of Jude's ancient military-surplus truck] Cowboy, I don't see how you in the heck made it all the way here from Texas in this old thing.
Jude Emery: I had the wind behind me.

"The Dukes of Hazzard: Undercover Dukes Part Two (#6.17)" (1984)
Cooter: [trying to lure Uncle Jesse to his surprise birthday party] Eh, you know, I have worked up one powerful thirst. How 'bout you and me go down to the Boar's Nest, huh?
Uncle Jesse: Why don't we just finish what we started? We lose our place now, we'll have to start all over with all this junk.

"The Dukes of Hazzard: How to Succeed in Hazzard (#6.18)" (1984)
Nurse: Hi.
Luke Duke: Howdy.
Nurse: Something I can do for you?
Luke Duke: You like to take my blood pressure?
Nurse: Gladly. Wanna feel my pulse?
[Luke takes her arm, they walk off]
The Balladeer: [narrating] Hazzard has that effect on some folks, they just naturally say whatevers on their minds.
Daisy Duke: That's my cousin.
Cooter: Yeah, he's a real Duke boy, alright.

"The Dukes of Hazzard: One Armed Bandits (#1.1)" (1979)
Cooter Davenport: Crazy Cooter talkin'. Turkey coming right down my alley. Gobble, gobble.
Luke Duke: Did you copy that Daisy? Cooter's on 421.
Daisy Duke: 10-4.
Luke Duke: [to Bo, in the General Lee] Hit it.
Leroy: [Daisy, in a bikini, pretends to be stranded] Lookey here, lookey here. What have we got here?
Driver: Leroy, let's get that girl right here. I'm gonna steal that away. Are you having trouble, little lady?
Daisy Duke: Yeah. I'm having a picnic. Which way to the beach?
[Driver & Leroy laughed together]
Driver: There ain't no beach around here.
Daisy Duke: Oh. And me with this basketful of lemonade and chitlin sandwiches.
[Driver & Leroy laughed together, again]
Bo Duke: All right boys. Hang 'em high and don't look around.
Daisy Duke: Now, y'all promised me you wouldn't bring machine guns.

"The Dukes of Hazzard: Strange Visitor to Hazzard (#7.15)" (1985)
Daisy Duke: I dunno, maybe some beings from outer space are trying to get ahold of us.
Cooter: Uh-huh.
Luke Duke: They're gonna get a strange impression of humanity if they stop in Hazzard County.
Cooter: Well, they probably just heard about the big dance Saturday night.
Bo Duke: They're probably just... small planet folks.
Cooter: They're comin' to the dance to do the Moonwalk.

"The Dukes of Hazzard: The Ghost of General Lee (#2.6)" (1979)
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Jesse, I don't know how to tell this to you easy, but I was chasing Bo and Luke in the General Lee and they uh, they done run off the road into the pond.
Uncle Jesse: [laughs proudly] That's them.
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: They didn't come up.
[Jesse's smile drops, Cooter and Daisy are devastated, Jesse turns away]
Cooter: You gotta be wrong, Rosco! You gotta be wrong!
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: I wish I was, Cooter, I really wish I was. Jesse, I, I chased the boys a lot you know they, when they messed up a little, but they seemed to enjoy that, I think sometimes I did too. But you gotta believe that, was never anything personal.

"The Dukes of Hazzard: Cooter's Girl (#6.12)" (1983)
Nancylou: You're Cooter Davenport?
Cooter: Yes Ma'm, The one and only.
Luke Duke: Yeah, this little lady was lookin' for ya, we brought her on in.
Cooter: What can I do for ya?
Nancylou: You're my father.
The Balladeer: [narrating] Well, sir, I sure didn't figure on that, did you?