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: I spent eighty-six million dollars of the studio's money on twenty seconds of titles. That's all he sent me, the *titles*! And a note: "Dave, we could also do these in blue."
[angrily crumples the note and hurls it to the floor
: We *had* to make a Hal Weidmann picture! Davis
: The man's won three Oscars. He's a genius. Kingman
: No! There's only been one genius in this business, and that was Señor Wences! A little lipstick, some hair, and his hand, and the guy had a career for eighty-five years!
: Remember the crazy guy in the woods? Davis
: Ted Kaczynski. Dave
: Who, the guy at Fox? Lee
: The Unabomber. Dave
: Yeah, the Unabomber. Okay? Remember how he lived in that little cabin? Lee
: So? Dave
: Hal Weidmann bought that cabin from the government and had it moved onto his property. That is where he edits his movies. That is his little, twisted, sicko office.
: [watching Eddie and Hector fight
] Ooh! This is good! Hit him! Hit him! Lee
: Who? Dave
: Why am I here? I'm just confused. I mean, after all, you did fire me last week, so why am I here? Dave
: I brought you here to see the new Hal Weidmann film.
: I want only one thing: if people think that Eddie and Gwen are going to get back together again, they will go see this movie. I need you to make that happen. Lee
] Oh, that'll be easy. Kingman
: Well, look, just make it look like maybe it *could* happen... Lee
: Dave, she has a restraining order against him, and he flipped out, he's nuts! He's living in some nut hut up in the mountains or something. Kingman
: So what? I don't care! I need Eddie and Gwen back together again, smiling and happy! We can sell the shit out of that, Lee. Lee
: What about the Spaniard? Kingman
: Unless I get a script called "I Shtupped Castro", I don't know what to do with him.
: It's him. On the phone. Kingman
: Who? Lee
: Hal. Kingman
: I'll kill him! That sick son-of-a-bitch bastard! Put him on the speaker!
[Lee turns on the speaker
] Hi, Hal! How are you, darling? You're in my thoughts. I want to send you a basket.
: Hal here yet? Lee
: No. Dave
] He's a dead man. No, I'm serious. I know a guy, I'll make a call, and... he's dead.
: Well, Lee, I have to say, you have completely outdone yourself. In twenty-four hours, you've given us a walk in the woods, a romantic dinner, and a fist fight. I can't wait to see what happens next! Lee
] Maybe I can get him to commit suicide. Would you like that? Dave
: I don't know. Let me think about it. Lee
: Oh, yeah. I mean, it won't help the initial release, but it'll rent like crazy when it goes to video. We can do a box like a coffin, maybe wrap it in a little black ribbon. Dave
: Ooh, yeah. No, that's good. No, no, wait... imagine if he killed himself at the premiere.
: I'm joking... I mean, I'm... thinking out loud, or whatever you call it.
: All right, look... if you won't do it for me, do it for my father, okay? You guys worked together a long time. You had a real bond. Lee
: Your father was a psychotic. Kingman
: You spoke at his funeral. Lee
: I loved him. You I can't stand.
: [on the phone
] Hi, Hal? How are you, darling? I've been thinking about you cause I... I wanted to... to... to send you a basket or something. How's the movie? Hal Weidmann
: It's finding its way. Kingman
: Well, do you think it could find its way to the studio? Because we have a few little things to do with it, like *finish* it. Hal Weidmann
: It's finished, Dave. Kingman
: Oh. Great! How is it? Hal Weidmann
: My mother thinks it's the best thing I've ever done. Kingman
: Can I speak with her? Hal Weidmann
: No, Dave. Kingman
: Can we send someone to pick it up, Hal? Hal Weidmann
: You know, Dave, you haven't said anything yet about the titles. Kingman
: Oh. Oh, I love them. I have no notes. Hal Weidmann
: When's the press junket? Kingman
] Weekend of the 21st. Why? Hal Weidmann
: Cause I want the press to be the first to see it. Kingman
: No... Hal Weidmann
: I'll bring it to the junket. We'll all experience it together. Kingman
: No, Hal! No, no, no! No, no, I'm the head of the studio! I don't experience things with the press! Hal Weidmann
: I'm hanging up now, Dave.