Lester Averman
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Quotes for
Lester Averman (Character)
from The Mighty Ducks (1992)

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D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994)
Coach Bombay: Haven't you guys been training in the off-season?
Lester Averman: You know, I knew we forgot something.

Lester Averman: Here with us, Greg Goldberg, goaltender for Team USA. Greg, what's it gonna take to beat these feisty Icelanders, tonight?
Goldberg: I think it will take a supreme individual effort, by me, Greg Goldberg.

Lester Averman: Aw, I smell something.
Lester Averman, Goldberg, Jesse, Charlie, Adam: Goldberg!
Goldberg: It wasn't me!
Portman: [proudly] No, it was me!

Lester Averman: Hey, is that a tattoo? Is it real?
Dean: Get away from me.
Lester Averman: Yes sir.

[on the Iceland players]
Lester Averman: They're bigger! They're stronger! They're faster! They've got more facial hair!

[talking about Luis Mendoza]
Connie Moreau: Good lookin' skater.
Les Averman: Very good lookin'. What do you think, Guy?
Guy Germaine: Shut up, Averman.

Les Averman: You guys wanna ease up a little bit? Just thought I'd ask


The Mighty Ducks (1992)
Gordon Bombay: You think losing is funny?
Les Averman: Well, not at first, but once you get the hang of it.
Jesse: We're the ones out there gettin' our butts kicked.
Terry Hall: Yeah, it's not like you coach us or anything. At least we tried.

Gordon Bombay: Concentration, not strength.
Les Averman: Like the Karate Kid, right? Wax on! Wax off!
Connie Moreau: Just shut up and try it, Averman!

Les Averman: Just so you know, we really suck.
Gordon Bombay: Hey, I'll decide who sucks around here.
[Cut to the kids playing, badly]
Gordon Bombay: They really suck.

Les Averman: [imitating Rob Schneider] The Pete-Meister, Mr. Rabble-Rouser! Passing the puck over to Jessie-Roonie, the Enforcer!
[Peter falls down]
Les Averman: Ouch! That hurt! Oh, it's the Connie-Meister...
[Connie shoves Averman down]
Les Averman: ...the Velvet Hammer.

[the kids aren't thrilled about being named the Ducks]
Gordon Bombay: I didn't have a choice, we're being sponsored.
Les Averman: By who, Donald and Daisy?
Gordon Bombay: Hey, you don't wanna be Ducks? You'd rather be District Five? Some stupid number?
Peter Mark: Better than some stupid animal.
Gordon Bombay: I'll have you know, Peter, that the Duck is one of the most noble, agile and intelligent creatures in the animal kingdom.
Connie Moreau: But they're wimpy!
Guy Germaine: They don't even have teeth.
Gordon Bombay: Neither do hockey players. Have you guys ever seen a flock of ducks flying in perfect formation? It's beautiful. Pretty awesome the way they all stick together. Ducks never say die. Ever seen a duck fight? No way. Why? Because the other animals are afraid. They know that if they mess with one duck, they gotta deal with the whole flock. I'm proud to be a Duck, and I'd be proud to fly with any one of you. So how about it? Who's a Duck?
Fulton Reed: [pause] I'll be a duck.
Charlie Conway: Yeah, me too.

Guy Germaine: Look at this!
[shows Bombay Karp's dented helmet]
Les Averman: [as Rob Schneider] The Karpster used his head to stop the puck, Mr. Karpelandi!


D3: The Mighty Ducks (1996)
Coach Orion: You're playing hard. I'm proud of you guys.
Luis Mendoza: They're cheap-shotting us to death.
Coach Orion: I know they are. I know they are.
Lester Averman: It's going to take a miracle for us to hold on.
Dean Portman: [enters the lockeroom reading his scholarship] Dean Portman is awarded a full athletic and academic scholarship to the Eden Hall Academy. I had this lying around the house in Chicago, my attorney thought I should sign, I agreed. It's official boys. I'm back!
Charlie Conway: [aside to Orien] Bombay.

Coach Orion: [picks hockey puck up off the ice and addresses the Ducks] What's the one thing all great teams have in common?
Lester Averman: Great coaching.
Coach Orion: [unamused] Don't try to suck up to me, Averman.
[pause]
Coach Orion: Defense. See, unlike scoring, defense never quits. But to play great defense you need one thing above all else.
Lester Averman: [sarcastically, to Goldberg] Bet it starts with a W.
Coach Orion: Confidence. Listen, if you learn nothin' else when you're here, you learn this, all right? This is not just about hockey. It's easy to be confident when you have control of the puck. It's very, very difficult to keep that confidence when you gotta take whatever strange bounces life throws your way. Don't be careless, but don't be too careful either. You cannot be afraid to lose! That's how you gain the confidence to attack the game when the puck isn't yours. That's how you attack life... even when you think you don't have any control. And that's how you play real defense.