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: Here with us, Greg Goldberg, goaltender for Team USA. Greg, what's it gonna take to beat these feisty Icelanders, tonight? Goldberg
: I think it will take a supreme individual effort, by me, Greg Goldberg.
: Hey. How are you feeling today, Goldberg? Goldberg
: Lean and mean!
: Have no fear, Goldberg is here. Hey man there was nothin' on that. How 'bout a real shot? Hey Paison, meatballs are slowin' ya down? Hey uhh... how do you say in Italiano, wussy?
: Aw, I smell something. Lester Averman
: Goldberg! Goldberg
: It wasn't me! Portman
] No, it was me!
[Seeing Dwayne for the first time
: Yee-haw! How's everybody? Y'all ready to play some puck? Goldberg
: Hey, look, it's Hop-Along Gretzky!
: Take it easy, dont listen to him. Ken Wu
: Besides that guy will kill you. Goldberg
: Yea well just hold me back and act like im gonna kill him.
[Team USA is having an outside class with Michelle McKay
] Michele MacKay
: Ancient Greece was the beginning of Western civilization. You see in Greece, they didn't have professional sports or Wheaties boxes, so the athletes competed for another reason. Anybody? Goldberg
: We have a goalie, Goldberg. Goldberg
: Alright, bring 'em, man! I'm ready for this. Show 'em what you got. I'm the man! I'm the man!
[falls into leg split
: Ohh! Uh. Uh, help.
: Be careful man, it almost hit me that time! Charlie Conway
: Goldberg, you're the goalie. It's supposed to hit you. Goldberg
: Does that sound stupid to anyone else?
[Coach Bombay has taped Goldberg to the goal
: My mother is not gonna approve of this, Coach! She wants me to live to be Bar Mitzvah'd! Gordon Bombay
: This is your Bar Mitzvah, Goldberg. Today, you become a man. Goldberg
: No. I think you've got the ceremonies mixed up. This is more like a CIRCUMCISION.
: Is there a goalie? Goldberg
: Only for a little while. I'm moving back to Philly with my mom. Gordon Bombay
: Thank you for sharing that.
: [the team leaves him tied to the net
] Hey, guys! Excuse me, guys, you gotta untie me now! Ha ha! Good joke. Very funny. I like it. No joke, c'mon, guys.
[starts skating with the net still attached
: Hey, coach! Coach, c'mon, don't leave me hanging like this! Coach, don't make me come after you, coach!
: [after Bombay ties him to the net
] My mother would not approve of this, coach. She'd like to live to be Bar Mitzvahed. Gordon Bombay
: This is your Bar Mitzvah, Goldberg. Today, you will become a man. Goldberg
: Coach, I think you got the ceremonies mixed up. It's more like a circumcision!
: It's not enough that I get shot at on the ice, now I have to worry about getting nailed off the ice. Why am I always getting shot at? Fulton
: You're a goalie, dude. Deal.
: Great, now I have to worry about being nailed off the ice as well. Why am I always getting shot at? Fulton
: You're a goalie, dude, deal. Goldberg
: Thanks, Fulton, real sensitive. Fulton
: You're welcome.
: Goldberg, when's the last time you practiced? Goldberg
: Well, we don't really practice per say. We either play or... play around.
: Goldberg! Gold! I knew you could do it! Goldberg
: Don't ever do that to me again! Charlie Conway
: Goldberg you scored. We win!