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: I'm not Josie Grossie anymore!
: That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time. Cynthia
: Damn girl... you are a writer.
: All I can tell you is that when you're my age, guys will be lined up around the corner for you. Josie Geller
: You have to say that because you're my teacher. Sam
: Actually, I shouldn't say that because I'm your teacher.
: I can recognize a cry for help when I see one. Josie Geller
: Hear one. Rob Geller
: Sorry I'm late. It took me forever to get here. Josie Geller
: I know what you mean.
: Rob, your not going to believe it, I made friends with a whole table of rastafari. Not just one, a whole table... You know what's a weird word? Fork. Oh my God, someone ate my entire pie! I don't know how that happened!
: Now you are gonna complete these sprints, because if you don't, you fail. And if you fail gym, you'll never get into college. Josie Geller
: You guys are still telling that lie?
: Hi, I'm Guy. Josie Geller
: Yes, you are a guy. Quite a guy. Oh my. Hey, that rhymes! Yikes. Bikes! Guy Perkins
: Are you in special-ed? I mean, are you? Kristin Davis
: A Geek? Gibby Zerefski
: You totally just said that out load.
: That'll teach me to wear white jeans after labor day. Gibby Zerefski
: I don't think you're supposed to wear white jeans after 1983.
: Hey, Guy, guys, Guy's guys!
: Let me tell you something, I don't care about being your stupid prom queen. I'm 25 years old. I'm an undercover reporter for the Chicago Sun Times and I've been beating my brains out trying to impress you people. Let me tell you something Gibby, Kirsten, Kristin, you will spend your lives trying to keep others down because it makes you feel more important. Why her? Let me tell you about this girl she is unbelievable. I was new here and she befriended me no questions asked. But you, you were only my friend after my brother, Rob, posed as a student and told you to like me. All of you people, there is a big world out there... bigger than prom, bigger than high school and it won't matter if you were the prom queen, the quarterback of the football team, or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it.
: [talking about hopes and dreams
] ... and I want to go to NorthWestern! Josie Geller
: Oh my Gosh! I went there! Aldys
: For what? Josie Geller
: ...To go to the bathroom once. They have really nice facilities.
: [Anita runs into Josie's office and knocks down a diploma on the wall
] Guess who I did it with last night? Josie Geller
: Roger from Op/Ed? Anita Olesky
: Aww... Who told you? Josie Geller
: You did. You said, and I quote "Tonight I have a date with Roger from Op/Ed, and I'm gonna do it with him."
[during a "sex-ed" class in which the students are trying to put condoms on bananas, Tracy has just revealed to Josie that she wants to have sex for the first time. Josie is somewhat stunned, but tries to offer advice
] Josie Geller
: You know, Adelie penguins, they spend their whole lives looking for that one other penguin and when they meet them, they know. And they spend the rest of their lives together. Tracy
: But I'm not a penguin. Sam
: [has walked up next to them as Josie talked
] It's an analogy.
[Josie turns to look at him and loses her grip on the condom which flies up and smacks him in the face
] Josie Geller
: [to Tracy
] Excuse me. I have to go die now.
[puts her head in her hands
: You! What's your name? Josie Geller
: [nervous stutter
] J-Jo-Josie... James Rigfort
: Jose? Josie Geller
: Josie Geller!
: Somebody once said, "To write well, you have to write what you know." Well, here is what I know...
: The right guy, he's out there. I'm just not gonna go kiss a whole bunch of losers to get to him. Anita Olesky
: Yeah, but you know what? Sometimes kissing losers can be a really fun diversion.