Dr. Jumba Jookiba
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Quotes for
Dr. Jumba Jookiba (Character)
from Lilo & Stitch (2002)

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Lilo & Stitch (2002)
Jumba: Hiding behind your little friend won't work anymore. Didn't I tell you? We got fired this morning. New rules.

Jumba: [captures Stitch] Aha! Now, all your washing is up!
Pleakley: You're under arrest. Read him his rights.
Jumba: Listen carefully.
[slams Stitch's head repeatedly against a palm tree]

Pleakley: [Nani sees Pleakley and Jumba arrest Stitch] Don't interact with her.
[They turn their backs on Nani]
Nani: Where's Lilo?
Jumba: Who?
[Pleakley hits Jumba]
Jumba: What?
Nani: Lilo. My sister.
Jumba: Uh... sorry, we do not know anyone by this, uh...
Nani: Lilo! She's a little girl this big, she has black hair and brown eyes and she hangs around with that THING!
Jumba: [sighs] We know her.
Nani: Bring... her... back.
Pleakley: Oh, we can't do that. Uh-uh. That would be misuse of galactic resources.
Jumba: See, problem is, we're just here for him.
Nani: So she's gone?
Pleakley: Look at the bright side. You won't have to yell at anyone anymore.

Pleakley: Oh great! He's loose!
Jumba: His destructive programming is taking effect. He will be irresistibly drawn to large cities, where he will back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everyone's left shoe.

Jumba: WHAT? After all you put me through, you expect me to help you just like that? JUST LIKE THAT?
Stitch: [alien language] Ih.
Jumba: Fine!
Pleakley: "Fine"? You're doing what he says?
Jumba: He's very persuasive!

Jumba: Come on, what's the big deal?
Stitch: [in alien language] Oongatish mista!
Jumba: I'll put you back together again... I'll make you taller, and not so fluffy!
[whips plates at Stitch, frisbee style]
Stitch: I like fluffy!
[after there is a ring of holes around Stitch]
Stitch: [in alien language] Ah, Pooama Chicky!
Jumba: Ach! Leave my mother out of this!

Jumba: So, tell me, my little one-eyed one... on what poor, pitiful, defenseless planet has my "monstrosity" been unleashed?

[first lines]
Grand Councilwoman: Read the charges.
Gantu: Doctor Jumba Jookiba, you stand before this council accused of illegal genetic experimentation!
Grand Councilwoman: How do you plead?
Jumba: Not guilty! My experiments are only theoretical, and completely within legal boundaries.
Grand Councilwoman: We believe you actually... created something.
Jumba: Created something? Hah! But that would be irresponsible and unethical. I would never, ever...
[Stitch is revealed]
Jumba: ...make... more than one.

Gantu: What is that monstrosity?
Jumba: Monstrosity? What you see before you is the first of a new species. I call it Experiment 626. He is fire-proof, bullet-proof, and can think faster than super computer. He can see in the dark, and lift objects three thousand times his size. His only instinct... to destroy everything he touches! Ha ha ha ha!
Grand Councilwoman: So it IS a monster.
Jumba: Eh, just a little one.

Captain Gantu: Place that idiot scientist under arrest.
Jumba: I prefer to be called "Evil Genius".

Jumba: Yes, yes, that's it, come quietly.
Stitch: W-... waiting.
Jumba: For what?
Stitch: Family.
Jumba: Ah. You don't have one. I made you.
Stitch: Maybe... I could...
Jumba: You are built to destroy. You can never belong.

[Stitch and Jumba are tossing a jammed up gun back and forth]
Stitch: Merry Christmas.
Jumba: It's not Christmas.
Stitch: Happy Channukah!
Jumba: It's not Channukah!
[Pleakley scoops up Lilo and carries her away from the house]
Lilo: We're leaving Stitch?
Pleakley: Trust me, this is not gonna end well!
Jumba: One potato!
Stitch: Two potato!
Jumba: Three potato!
Stitch: Four!
Jumba: Five potato!
Stitch: Six potato!
Jumba: Seven potato more!
Stitch: My...
Jumba: mother...
Stitch: told...
Jumba: me...
Stitch: you...
Jumba: are...
Stitch: ...it.
Jumba: Ha! I win!
[gun explodes in his hands]

Grand Councilwoman: Experiment 626. Give us a sign you understand any of this. Show us that there is something inside you that is good.
[Stitch clears his throat; the council members listen in anticipation]
Stitch: Meega, nala kwishta!
[the entire council gasps in horror]
Grand Councilwoman: [horrified] So... naughty!
[Stitch laughs maniacally]
Jumba: I didn't teach him that!

Pleakley: Stop! I have just determined the situation to be far too hazardous!
Jumba: Don't worry. I won't hit her.
Pleakley: No! That girl is part of the mosquito food chain.
[Gives Jumba his View Master]
Pleakley: Here, educate yourself.
Jumba: Using that little girl for a shield.
[At Stitch]
Jumba: This is low even for you!

Jumba: [sees Pleakley trying on a wig] What are you doing?
Pleakley: [hiding wig] Nothing.
Jumba: Say, I want to try it on.
Pleakley: No.
Jumba: Share!
[wrestles wig from Pleakley]
Pleakley: Hey! Ow! You're just jealous 'cause I'm pretty!

Pleakley: [after Stitch chews on his head] All is well! Please go about your business! I'm okay!
Nani: Uh, your head looks... swollen.
Jumba: Actually, she's just ugly.
Pleakley: [laughing nervously] Oh, he's joking. Ugly - Look at me!

Jumba: 626 was designed to be a monster, but now he has nothing to destroy. You see, I never gave him a greater purpose. What must it be like to have nothing, not even memories to look back on in the middle of the night?

Jumba: [has Stitch on his sights] You are all mine.
Pleakley: Well, what is he doing?
Jumba: Quiet! He's listening for us.
Pleakley: [whispering] How good is his hearing?
[Stitch immediately turns around]

Jumba: Don't worry, is all part of plan. We are professionals. Hey! Get that out of your mouth!

Jumba: We're fired. Now we do it *my* way!

Pleakley: Oh, good! I was hoping to add theft, endangerment, and INSANITY to my list of things I did today!
Jumba: Ha ha! You too?

Jumba: Heh heh, he got away?
Grand Councilwoman: I'm sure this comes as no surprise to you.
Jumba: I designed 626 to be unstoppable.
Grand Councilwoman: Which is precisely why you must now bring him back.
Jumba: What? Me?
Grand Councilwoman: And to reward you, we are willing to trade your freedom for his capture.


Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch (2005) (V)
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: [approaches containment chamber] Oh, can it be? Have I done it?
Stitch: [uncurls, looks around] Ooh...
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: So cute. So fluffy, even.
[Jumba stares into glass, Stitch sniffs around]
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: Where did I go wrong?
Stitch: [Stitch growls, jumps wildly around glass]
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: Ha-ha-ha, what a relief.

Dr. Jumba Jookiba: I've got a surprise for you. Close your eyes.
[Stitch pops one eye open]
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: Ah! No peaking! He cheats already. Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Stitch: Aw, jiggiebig!

Nani: [to Jumba who is sneaking off] And no crop circles!
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: [stops] Aww, all the other aliens get to make them

Nani: David! You remember my AUNT Pleakley and UNCLE Jumba, right?
David Kawena: Uhm.
Nani: [sotto, singsong voice] Say something.
David Kawena: Uhh... nice hat?
Agent Pleakley: Why thank you, DAVID. See? Uncle Jumba said it made me look top-heavy!
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: Aunt Pleakley wanted the truth!
Agent Pleakley: What we want and what we need are two entirely different things. You know what they say, men are from Mars and women are from Venus, though actually, in our case...

Agent Pleakley: [Pleakley enters the living room, wering a woman's hat, an orange wig, and a blue-and-purple floral print dress] Where is she? Whe-ere is she?
Stitch: Wow.
Kumu: Ai kapulu.
Agent Pleakley: There's our precious little angel, who must be the victim of a huge misunderstanding.
Nani: [worriedly] Oh no, no...
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: Where is she?
Nani: Jumba, what are you doing?
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: Don't worry, the cavalry has arrived, heh. There she is!
[Nani tries to stop Jumba]
Nani: No, no, no, no...
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: Please, somebody give this kid gold star, she's so good!
[Jumba gives Lilo and Pleakley a group hug]
Agent Pleakley: [Pleakley shakes Kumu's hand] I don't believe we've met. This is Uncle Jumba, and I'm... Auntie Pleakley, enchanté.
Nani: On second thought, Kumu, I think we should talk outside.
Agent Pleakley: It's not polite to interrupt your auntie.

Dr. Jumba Jookiba: [Jumba puts the sample of Stitch's fur into the computer for analysis] Now we shall see.
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: [the computer analyzes Stitch's fur sample] No, no. Those idiot police! I hoped this day would never come.
Agent Pleakley: What are you talking about? What is wrong with Stitch?
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: During his creation, Stitch was never fully charged.

Dr. Jumba Jookiba: [knocking on Jumba's lab door] Uh-oh.
Gator Guard: Open up! Intergalactic police!
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: Uh, is nobody home; uh, check is in mail.
[in a high-pitched voice]
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: I'm in the tub!
Gator Guard: [the Intergalactic police blast through Jumba's lab door] You are under arrest for illegal genetic experimentation.
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: You idiots, you will ruin everything! Oh no!
Gator Guard: Yeah, tell it to the Council. You two, get the evidence.
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: Stop, his molecules aren't fully charged! No, no, no! Oh!
[One of the guards unplugs the charging cable as the computer's voice says "Warning! Warning! Electromagnetic bonding incomplete]
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: No, no, there's no telling what will happen! Let me go, noo! What will become of my little monstrosity?
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: [the flashback ends as the scene changes to the present time inside Jumba's lab on Earth] Now his circuits are going haywire!
Agent Pleakley: So that's why he was freaking out.
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: He can't control it. If it continues, his circuits will burn themselves out like supernova!
Agent Pleakley: Can you... can you fix him?
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: I must, or my little Stitch will shut down... for good.


"Lilo & Stitch: The Series: Mr. Stenchy: Experiment 254 (#1.4)" (2003)
Jumba: Am going to make a rocket and tonight, we blast him into space!
Lilo: But I need him to go to the FHGH tea party.
Jumba: [sigh] Fine. Go to alphabet party. But as soon as rocket's ready, we'll blast him into space.


"Lilo & Stitch: The Series: Angel: Experiment 624 (#1.30)" (2004)
Jumba: Open this door or I'll obliterate you and ridiculous ohana!


"Lilo & Stitch: The Series: Bonnie & Clyde: Experiments #149 & #150 (#1.36)" (2004)
Jumba: Since buggy was stolen, you'll need another form of transportation.
Pleakley: [Pulls back cover to reveal vehicle] A federation police cruiser?
Stitch: The red one!
Jumba: [laughs] Ii. Is the one 626 took on his original escape to earth.


Stitch! The Movie (2003) (V)
Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel: Any second now, you'll hear his tortured cries of regret: "Please let me out, I'll tell you everything!"
Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel: Any second now, his pathetic screaming, begging for mercy. Any second, should be right about... now!
Gantu: I don't hear anything.
Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel: Shut up, I can't hear!
Gantu, Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel: [Gantu and Hamsterviel enter the room] Huh?
Dr. Jumba Jookiba: [Experiment 625 is eating from a stack of sandwiches] Funny thing, 625 has all powers of 626, even has advanced language programming; unfortunately, he is also lazy coward, heh heh heh, but makes great sandwiches.
Experiment 625: Ham or tuna?
Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel: Grr, I am irked!


Leroy & Stitch (2006) (V)
Dr. Jumba: [Can't move Pleakley's suitcase] What is in here, bricks?
Pleakley: Cement, terra cotta, adobe, all kinds of bricks. My students are sure to find the fascinating.


"Lilo & Stitch: The Series: Baby-Fier: Experiment #151 (#1.35)" (2004)
Lilo: [Jumba's found the antidote recipe on his laptop] But how did...
Baby Jumba: [laugh] Evil genius child prodigy.