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Quotes for
Fagin (Character)
from Oliver! (1968)

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Oliver! (1968)
Nancy: I thieved for you when I was half his age and it's your dirty work I've been doing ever since.
Bill: Well if you have it's a living ain't it?
Fagin: Yes, a living is a living.
Nancy: Some living, Lord help me, some living!

Fagin: We must have civil words, Bill. Civil words.

Boy: Fagin, this sausage is moldy!
Fagin: Shut up and drink your gin.

Fagin: [sings] I'm reviewing the situation / Can a fellow be a villain all his life? / All the trials and tribulations. / Better settle down and get myself a wife! / And a wife would cook and sew for me, / And come for me, and go for me, / And go for me, and nag at me, / The fingers, she would wag at me. / The money she would take from me. / A misery, she'll make from me... I think I'd better think it out again!

Fagin: [sings] In this life, one thing counts / In the bank, large amounts / I'm afraid these don't grow on trees, / You've got to pick-a-pocket or two / You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys, / You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.
Boy: [sings] Large amounts don't grow on trees. / You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

Fagin: Careful Bill, please, no violence!

Fagin: [singing] A wife you can keep, anyway/ I'd rather sleep, anyway.

Fagin: [Pointing to the blood stain] There's *blood*... on your coat, Bill!

[last lines]
Fagin: [singing] Can somebody change? It's possible - maybe it's strange, but it's possible. All my dearest companions and treasures, I've left them behind/ I'll turn a leaf over/ and who can tell what I may find?
[he starts to walk towards London Bridge when Dodger appears behind a post-box]
Fagin: Yes? Young man? And do I have the honor of your acquaintance?
[Dodger shows him a wallet he has just stolen]
Fagin: Lined?
Dodger: Only the best. Lovely workmanship, ain't it?
[Fagin takes the wallet, looks inside and smiles]
Fagin: [sings] I'm reviewing/ the situation...
Dodger: Once the villain, you're a villain to THE END!
Fagin: Your light fingers.
Dodger: Your inspiration.
Fagin, Dodger: What a team!
Dodger: Am I your partner?
Fagin: More a friend. For your talents are employable/ so make your life enjoyable/ a world with pockets open wide/ awaits your whim to grope inside...
Dodger: Collections undetectable...
Fagin: We might retire respectable!
Dodger: Together till our dying day!
Fagin: The living proof that crime can pay!
Fagin, Dodger: I think we'll have to think it out again! Hey!

Fagin: [to Oliver] Delighted to see you looking so well my Dear! The Dodger will give you another suit for fear you will spoil that Sunday one!
Dodger: [Finding Oliver's money] Cor! Look at this!
Fagin: [to Oliver after taking the money] I'll bank it for ya.
Bill Sikes: What's that? That's mine Fagin!
Fagin: Oh no my Dear. Mine! Ours! You shall have the books.
Bill Sikes: You hand it over you old skeleton!
[Fagin reluctantly Bill the money]
Bill Sikes: . That's for our share of the trouble. You keep the books. Start a library.


Oliver & Company (1988)
Fagin: My days are numbered, and the number is three.

Sykes: Three sunrises. Three sunsets. Three days, Fagin.
Fagin: [counting on his fingers] Three sunrises. Three sunsets. Three days. Three, three, three. That's nine. Nine?
Sykes: No, Fagin. Three.
Fagin: Three? Oh, you mean, just three days? Oh, my goodness! Oh, I'm having a bad day!

Fagin: I don't wanna put any undue pressure on you, but as you march off to do your duty, I want you to keep one thing in mind. Dead men do not buy dog food!

Sykes: Now, I lent you some money, and I don't see it. Do you know what happens when I don't see my money, Fagin?
[rolls up the car window on Fagin's neck]
Sykes: People get hurt. People like you get hurt. Do I make myself clear?
Fagin: [wheezing] Clear! Perfectly clear!

[Jenny is at the wharf to ransom Oliver, unaware that Fagin is the kidnapper]
Jenny: And what kind of person would steal an innocent little kitty?
Fagin: Well, I... I mean, he... He might be up against a stone wall, at the end of his rope.
[Jenny starts sobbing]
Fagin: He must have been a poor, desperate man.
Jenny: It's still wrong. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
Fagin: Neither do I.

Sykes: So, Fagin. Did we bring something green and wrinkly to make Sykes happy?
Fagin: Sykes, I have an airtight kitty - plan. Plan! It's sweet and simple, the plan... Let me start over again.
Sykes: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
Fagin: I got this kitty, see...
Sykes: What am I going to do with you, Fagin?
Fagin: Please, Sykes...
Sykes: If you don't have my money...
[he snaps his fingers and the Dobermans jump at Fagin; Dodger intercepts them and they fight]
Fagin: No, no, Sykes! Please, stop! Your money's coming tonight! It's coming tonight! It's from a rich cat - I mean, a cat from a rich family! They're coming with the money I owe you to get their cat back!
[Sykes snaps his fingers again; the Dobermans stop fighting, leaving Dodger unconscious on the floor]
Sykes: Well, looks like you're doing all right for yourself. I'm proud of you, Fagin. Yeah, you're starting to think big. You have twelve hours. And Fagin... this is your last chance.

Sykes: [opens the car door to empty his ashtray, almost pushing Fagin off the pier] I don't think you grasp the severity of the situation.
Fagin: [hangs on to the sideview mirror to keep from falling] Oh, no, I grasp it. See? This is how I grasp.
[the mirror comes off and falls in the water]
Fagin: Accident! Accident!

Fagin: He's late. I drew a perfectly good map. Well, there were a few smudges on it, okay! I went outside the line with a green crayon, but not much.


Oliver Twist (2005)
Fagin: A terrible thing, Oliver... hangin'. The dawn... the noose, the gallows, the drop! You don't even have to be guilty, they'll hang you for anything these days, that's because they're so very fond of hangin'!

Fagin: [watching Dodger and Nancy play cards] Lovely life isn't it my dear?
Oliver Twist: Yes, sir
Bet: Sir? You know who you're talking to, do ya?
Charley Bates: [laughs]

[final lines]
Fagin: [in tears] Press on! Press on! Press on!

Fagin: Do you know what I consider the greatest sin in the world, my dear? Ingratitude. That's what you're guilty of. Ingratitude.

Fagin: You're like yourself tonight, Bill.
[puts his hand on Bill's shoulder]
Fagin: Quite like yourself.
Bill Sykes: Well I don't feel like myself when you lay that wicked old claw on my shoulder, so take it away!

Fagin: [gazing upon Oliver as he sleeps] Look at him. What a shame it is. With his face he could pick old ladies' pockets in church. His face could be a fortune to us.


Oliver Twist (1948)
Nancy: [about Oliver] I thieved for you when I was a child not half his age, and I've thieved for you ever since, don't you know it!
Fagin: And if you have, it is your living!
Nancy: Aye, it is. It is my living. And you're the wretch that drove me to them long ago, and that'll keep me there, day and night, day and night, DAY AND NIGHT!

Fagin: What's become of the boy? Speak or I'll throttle you!
Dodger: The traps have got him, and that's all about it!

Fagin: Strike them all dead! What right have you to butcher me?

Fagin: Clever dogs, clever dogs. Never blowed on old Fagin.

Fagin: You'd like to make pocket handkerchiefs as easily as the Artful Dodger, wouldn't you my dear?
Oliver Twist: Yes, if you teach me sir.
Fagin: We will, my dear, we will.

Fagin: That's the worst of having to deal with women, my dears. But they're clever and we can't get on without them.


Oliver Twist (1922/I)
Fagin: You're a clever girl, Nancy. An honor to your sex.

Fagin: She needs watching, that one. We can't trust anybody, especially a female.

Fagin: Fagin is the name and I'm looking for a smart boy like you, interested in profits. A young woman I know needs following.

Fagin: I have something to tell you, Bill, that will surprise and horrify you. Well, Bill, Noah has followed Nancy. She has betrayed us!
Noah Claypole: She described you all and told everything.
Fagin: You won't be too violent, will you Bill?


Twist (2003)
Dodge: I brought a kid home to show you.
Fagin: Where is he?
Dodge: He's right outside. He's... he's beautiful. He... but he looks like a David.

Fagin: Dodge, you did real good today. Bill will be pleased.

Fagin: You smoke too much. What, you think that's funny? Why is that funny?
Dodge: No, it's just very... I dunno.
Fagin: I wanna talk to you about somethin'.
Dodge: Yeah, what?
Fagin: Well, Nancy... told me about that car from Quebec. But, don't get mad at her, Dodge.
Dodge: Aw!
Fagin: She told me 'cause she cares about you. What, you don't think that's true? Well, if you don't know THAT...
Dodge: Okay.
Fagin: And Oliver tells me you're screaming at a car last night.
Dodge: The fuck IS this, kindergarten? People are TELLING on me?
Fagin: Just listen to me: If you don't wanna tell me what's goin' on - I think it would help if you do, because if it's one of those things where you just... like, making' it up or is it just... Is it really happening.
Dodge: Whatever.
Fagin: Hey, it's bad for the boys to see you upset. You know, they look up to you, Dodge. Now, if you want me to make the car go away, you know, I'll have it stopped. Okay?
Dodge: Yeah.
Fagin: IF YOU WANT! All right?
Dodge: Okay, yeah. Thanks.
Fagin: Don't thank me. That's what I do. All right?


"Dickensian: Episode #1.9" (2016)
Fagin: Now now, Mr Bucket. You can't just go pointing the finger. Last time you accused me of filching a diamond ring I'd come by through entirely honest means.
Inspector Bucket: My wallet, if you please, and now! Else we can let the the Old Bailey decide the matter.
Fagin: Dodger! Might you know anything of this gentleman's wallet, my dear?
Dodger: What a coincidence! I come by it in the gutter not half hour ago.
[Dodger hands the wallet back to Inspector Bucket]
Fagin: Perhaps the boy deserves a finder's fee, do you not, Mr Bucket?
Inspector Bucket: I'm quite sure he's had one.


"Dickensian: Episode #1.3" (2015)
[Sikes grabs Fagin]
Bill Sikes: How about I crack open your skull, and see if the lies fall out?
Fagin: Have you forgotten who I am, Bill? In your rage? Forgotten the order of things, my dear? You threaten me again, I will gut you like a fish and feed you to the rats.
[Sikes looks down and sees that Fagin is holding a knife to his chest]
Fagin: Now or never, Bill.
[Sikes moodily pulls from Fagin's grip and leaves]


Oliver Twist (1982/I) (TV)
Fagin: [a constable and a crowd has assembled outside of Fagin's house, he comes out] Yes, constable? What can I do for you?
2nd Constable: You're Fagin, right?
Fagin: That's right.
2nd Constable: Come on, then!
[leads him away]
Dull-Eyed Man: Filthy Jew!
Fagin: Who calls me that?
Dull-Eyed Man: I do!
[throws rock in Fagin's face, it hits him in the cheek and mouth]
Fagin: [madly] Here! You want the other cheek? I know your faces! Yes! We've done business together! If you need money, I'm the clever Jew! If you don't know the answers, I'm the wise Jew! If you need my help, I'm the kind Jew! Yeah, you can all go to blazes! YOU SICKEN ME!
Bill Sikes: [watching from a distance] Good riddance to him.


"The Wonderful World of Disney: Oliver Twist (#1.9)" (1997)
Fagin: We like our peace and quiet here.
Bill Sikes: [kicks open the door and storms in]
Fagin: No need to knock so courteously Bill; you're among friends here.


"Oliver Twist: Episode #1.1" (2007)
Fagin: Never trust the goyim, Ezekiel, never.