Samantha Caine
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Quotes for
Samantha Caine (Character)
from The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)

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The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)
Samantha: What happened?
Mitch: I saved your ass. It was great.

Mitch Henessey: [singing] Putting the keys in my left pocket. Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. Gun in the right-hand side.
Samantha Caine: It makes a bulge, people can see.
Mitch Henessey: Ya want me to stick it in my pants and shoot my damn dick off?
Samantha Caine: Now you're a sharpshooter?

Samantha Caine: What, are you a Mormon?
Mitch Henessey: Yes, I'm a Mormon. That's why I just smoked a pack of Newport and drank three vodka tonics.

Samantha: Easy, sport. I got myself outta Beirut once, I think I can get outta New Jersey.
Mitch: Yeah? Well, don't be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population, in fact.

Samantha: I know he has a pin in his leg, car accident. I... I know he cuts his own hair. He doesn't even own a TV. He... he sits when he pees...
Mitch: Hey, hey, hey. That's enough, I'm gettin' a boner here, all right?

Mitch: Oh, shit! Ah, that hurt like shit!
Samantha: I know. That's why I distracted you first. Same principle as deflowering virgins.
Mitch: Huh? What? Virgin - ? What?
Samantha: Read it in this Harold Robbins book. Guy bites her on the ear. Distracts from the pain. Ever try that?
Mitch: No, no, I sock 'em in the jaw and yell, "Pop goes the weasel."

Mitch: And what about your daughter, what's her name... Cathead?
Samantha: Caitlin.

Samantha: It's like I'm in goddamn prison. Do you know how that feels?
Mitch Henessey: "YEAH. YEAH, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THAT'S LIKE. FOUR YEARS inside, Marion, Illinois. A REAL shithole. AND I'M NOT GOING BACK."

Caitlin Caine: I can't!
Samantha Caine: Yes you can. You're one of the X-Men!

Mitch: [singing to the song "I'd Really Love To See You Tonight" on the radio] I'm not talking 'bout the linen... And I don't wanna change your life...
Samantha: Movin' in.
Samantha: Huh?
Samantha: It's not linen. The song's not about linen.
Mitch: Whatever. You cold?
Samantha: I'm freezing.
Mitch: Turn on the heater. It doesn't work, but it makes a very annoying noise which distracts from the cold.
Samantha: I'll pass.

Luke (A.K.A. Daedalus): Torture, yes, a woman's face never looked so quite beautiful as when it's distended in pain, witness the beauty of child birth.
Samantha: Untie me and ill make any face you want.
Luke (A.K.A. Daedalus): Let's not and say we did.

Mitch: Sam... Ill be waiting for you to come and rescue me.
Samantha: Be just a minute...

Samantha: Can I ask you something? Well, you seem kinda... low rent. No offense.
Mitch: [chuckles] None taken.

[after Mitch confesses that he's been in prison]
Mitch: Eight years ago, I was an Atlanta cop. My partner and I worked this fraud case together. That motherfucker hated me! I forget why, but he did. Anyway, some bonds went missing from the evidence room, and, when someone called Internal Affairs and they went searching through my closet, lo and behold, what did they find?
Samantha: The bonds. Your partner put them there, huh?
Mitch: Oh no, I did. I stole the damn things.
[He laughs, and after an incredulous pause, Samantha joins in]

[while Mitch is creeping towards the truck to rescue Caitlin, Samantha covers him with a rifle. Two thugs appear and aim their guns at him, she takes them out quickly]
Mitch: Gracias.
Samantha: De nada.