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Quotes for
Dr. Nathan Waldman (Character)
from The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)

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The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)
Nathan: Alice, please. Your dog, Alice. It and my appetite are mutually exclusive.
Alice: Well, what's wrong with the dog?
Nathan: Simple. He's been licking his asshole for the last three straight hours. I submit to you that there is nothing there worth more than an hour's attention. I should think that whatever he is attempting to dislodge is either gone for good, or there to stay. Wouldn't you agree?

Mitch Henessey: We jumped out of a building.
Nathan: Yes, it was very exciting. Tomorrow we go to the zoo.
Charlie: You're Waldman.
Nathan: No, I'm the Hill Brothers bean buyer. Who else would I be? Hang on. If you want me to talk in front of him, you may be asked... to kill him later. It works for me. Your call.

Mitch Henessey: How did you find us?
Nathan: There may be many reasons not to kill you, but among them is not that you'll be missed by NASA. I found the address in your coat. Here. Between the address of a topless bar, and the picture of what looks like a man's penis.
Mitch Henessey: That's a duck, not a dick.

[Nathan hands his gun to Charlie, then pulls out a second]
Mitch: Jesus, old man, how many of those you got?
Nathan: Three. One shoulder, one hip and one down here, right next to Mr. Wally, where most patdowns never reveal it, as even the most hardened federal agent is often reluctant to feel up another man's groin. Any other questions?
Mitch: Yeah. What's the weather like on your planet?