Joy Miller
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Quotes for
Joy Miller (Character)
from The Beautician and the Beast (1997)

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The Beautician and the Beast (1997)
[Motto for her cosmetology class]
Joy Miller: Flashy, not trashy.

Joy Miller: Put on your sunblock because it's rays today, raisins tomorrow.

Joy Miller: In our country we can marry who we want. I decided on John Kennedy Jr., and while he's in denial, I'll travel.

[Trying to talk Pochenko into shaving]
Joy Miller: OK, a lot of great men had mustaches. Hitler, Franco...
Boris Pochenko: Einstein!
Joy Miller: Oh, and that's who you wanna look like?

Joy Miller: It's control-top pantyhose. Holds you in like a stuffed sausage.

Grushinsky: I thought you teach science!
Joy Miller: TEACH it? I didn't even PASS it!

Joy Miller: Could I possibly get a blanket without a head?

Joy Miller: Who are you and what did you do with the little Nazi kid?

Boris Pochenko: I don't know where anything is in this kitchen
Joy Miller: Oh come on, I can find food in Ghandi's house, are you kidding me?

Joy Miller: Oh honey, talk to the hand, the ears ain't listening!

[Pochenko gestures to hit Katrina]
Joy Miller: What are you doing?
Boris Pochenko: You do not understand
Joy Miller: Oh no? You have the temper of an eight year old, your own children are scared to DEATH of you! And you hit girls! Tell me when I'm getting warm!
Boris Pochenko: This whole thing is none of your business!
Joy Miller: You know maybe you're right. Because even if you can't see that doing the right thing even when you have nothing to gain, is what makes you... a mench, and decent, and civilized! I can't have anything to do with you
Boris Pochenko: They boy will remain in prison, it's none of your business
Joy Miller: You know everyone is right about you... you are a beast...

Joy Miller: It's like Paris 50 years ago.
Judy Miller: There were Nazis in Paris 50 years ago.

Boris Pochenko: Now, about this business at the factory...
Joy Miller: Oh you know what there's no need to apologize, I know that you were cranky 'cause you didn't have your lunch. You could be hyperglycemic, you should carry a piece of cheese with you.

Boris Pochenko: Do I not intimidate you at all?
Joy Miller: Is one of your sideburns longer than the other?

Boris Pochenko: I know where we are.
Joy Miller: Well, where are we?
Boris Pochenko: We're in the woods.
Joy Miller: I knew it. Why can't you just ask one of them for directions?
Boris Pochenko: NO!
Joy Miller: Please! Asking for directions is not the first step to a two-party system.

Joy Miller: This is a special place. Was it special for someone else too?
Boris Pochenko: It's where I slaughtered my first cow.
Joy Miller: Huh?
Boris Pochenko: I was ten. My father told me I could eat only what I killed myself. All I had was two sticks and a butter knife, but I learned to be a man that day.
Joy Miller: Oh, what a sweet story.

Joy Miller: Come on, we can make our own sandwich.
Boris Pochenko: I don't know where anything is in this kitchen.
Joy Miller: Oh come on, I can find food at Ghandi's house. What're you kidding me?
Boris Pochenko: You should try running a country for a day. It's not all making war and smashing dissidents, you know. It's hard work.
Joy Miller: I'm sure it is.
Boris Pochenko: Where is some...
Joy Miller: What?
Boris Pochenko: Mayonnaise?
Joy Miller: We finished it.
Boris Pochenko: Oh.
[gives her a look]
Joy Miller: Hmmm?
Boris Pochenko: You're lying.
Joy Miller: It's all gone.
Boris Pochenko: Where is it?
Joy Miller: I had to scrape for this.
Boris Pochenko: Give it me!
Joy Miller: Oh all right, I'll give it you, give it you. Here you go.
Boris Pochenko: Hah. Hah-hah, heh-heh-heh, heh, heh, heh, heh.
Joy Miller: I just hope you realize you're entering those dangerous heart attack years.

Boris Pochenko: [Outside Joy's parents house] Before you throw me out, I have three things to say. One; I released the boy from prison. Two; I'm holding free elections in the Spring. Three... Well I can't think of something else.
Joy Miller: One and two are plenty!
[They kiss]