Amber Von Tussle
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Quotes for
Amber Von Tussle (Character)
from Hairspray (1988)

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Hairspray (1988)
Amber Von Tussle: Aren't you a little fat for the show?
Tracy Turnblad: I'm sure many of the other home viewers out there are pleasantly plump or chunky.
Amber Von Tussle: Come on. The show's not filmed in Cinemascope.

Amber Von Tussle: Tracy Turnblad is a human roach nest.

Amber Van Tussle: Do you relate to the music of Leslie Gore?
Nadine: Look, she ain't no James Brown... but I can dance to Lawrence Welk if I have to.

Amber Von Tussle: That girl's got roaches in her hair!
Edna Turnblad: Roaches? Our little Tracy's a clean teen!
Wilbur: There's no bugs on our baby!
Amber Von Tussle: I'm not kidding, I just saw one!

Velma Von Tussle: And you HAD to pick a colored song, didn't you? You got something against Connie Francis? Shelley Fabares? I LOVE Shelley Fabares!
Amber Von Tussle: Mother, Shake a Tail Feather has a wild song. It's got a good beat and you can dance to it.

Amber Von Tussle: [Amber is gossiping with two friends in school] Anyway, she was right there in the car, in plain sight of just everybody at the hop. She was NUDE.
Amber's school friend #1: No!
Amber's school friend #2: That fat thing?
Amber Von Tussle: Tracy Turnblad is a WHORE.

Tracy Turnblad: I would imagine that many of the home viewers are also pleasantly plump or chunky.
Amber Von Tussle: Oh, come on. This show's not filmed in CinemaScope.

Amber Von Tussle: [to Penny] Are you now or have you ever gone steady?

Amber Von Tussle, Franklin von Tussle: Segregation today, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever!

Hairspray (2007)
Amber von Tussel: [on the phone with Edna, disguising her voice] My name is Mike.
Edna Turnblad: [off-camera] Mike?
Amber von Tussel: Yes, Mike.
Edna Turnblad: Mike who?
Amber von Tussel: [slips back into her normal voice] It's MIKE!
[catches herself, coughs]
Amber von Tussel: Anyway... I'm calling because I have some information about your daughter's whereabouts.
Edna Turnblad: What?
Amber von Tussel: Right now, as we speak, your daughter has entered a hotbed of moral... turpentine.

Link Larkin: [presents Amber with a ring] It's time.
Amber von Tussel: Oh!
[Amber and Link kiss]
Velma Von Tussle: Amber! Save your personal life for the camera, sweetie! Oop, shiny!
[sends Amber off to makeup for more powder]

[from trailer]
Velma Von Tussle: [to Edna, about Tracy] Tracy certainly has redefined our standards
Amber von Tussel: That's for sure.

Amber von Tussel: [to Shelley] Do that again, and there'll be stumps where your feet are, you got that? You little who...
Link Larkin: [interrupting] Hey, Amber
Amber von Tussel: [to Link] - Oley moley!

Tammy: Are you scared we're on live?
Tracy Turnblad: No, I'm sure I can cope.
Amber Von Tussle: Well, this show isn't broadacst in...
Tammy, Amber Von Tussle, Shelley, Noreen, Doreen, Vicki, Darla, Becky: [with the other council girls] Cinemascope!
Velma Von Tussle: I never drank one chocolate malt. No desserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs.

Amber von Tussel: [to her classmates] Oh, and it's totally not true about her and the entire football team. I mean, please: anybody can get grass stains all over their back.
Link Larkin: Amber, stop it. I'm sick of you doing that! Just because she's a good dancer...
Amber von Tussel: [scoffs] Uh, I'm sorry... you think that she can dance? Well, maybe you'd rather have her as your partner. You could get sponsored by Goodyear!

Link Larkin: Uh... we're on live.
Amber von Tussel: You have to vote for a person! Not one of the Himalayas.

Amber von Tussel: I lost, Mom. Let's just deal with it!
Velma Von Tussle: [as she pulls the tallies out of her dress] You did not lose! You can not have lost because I switched the damn tallies!
Edna Turnblad: [standing behind a live television camera] Smile, Miss Crabcakes! You're on Candid Camera!
Wilbur Turnblad: That was a good shot! Don't you think?