Macaulay Connor
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Quotes for
Macaulay Connor (Character)
from The Philadelphia Story (1940)

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The Philadelphia Story (1940)
Macaulay Connor: Oh Tracy darling...
Tracy Lord: Mike...
Macaulay Connor: What can I say to you? Tell me darling.
Tracy Lord: Not anything - don't say anything. And especially not "darling."

Macaulay Connor: It can't be anything like love, can it?
Tracy Lord: No, no, it can't be.
Macaulay Connor: Would it be inconvenient?
Tracy Lord: Terribly.

Tracy Lord: Hello you.
Macaulay Connor: Hello.
Tracy Lord: You look fine.
Macaulay Connor: I feel fine.

Margaret Lord: The course of true love...
Macaulay Connor: ...gathers no moss.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: What's this room? I've forgotten my compass.
Macaulay Connor: I'd say, south-by-southwest parlor-by-living-room.

Macaulay Connor: This is the Bridal Suite. Would you send up a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of beer?
Margaret Lord: What? Who is this?
Macaulay Connor: This is the Voice of Doom calling. Your days are numbered, to the seventh son of the seventh son.
Margaret Lord: Hello? Hello?
Tracy Lord: What's the matter?
Margaret Lord: One of the servants has been at the sherry again.

Tracy Lord: I never knew such a man.
Macaulay Connor: You're not likely to dear. Not from where you sit.

Macaulay Connor: You've got all the arrogance of your class, haven't you?
Tracy Lord: What have classes to do with it? What do they matter except for the people in them? George comes from the so-called lower class, Dexter, the upper. Well?
Macaulay Connor: Well...
Tracy Lord: Mac the night watchman is a prince among men, Uncle Willie is a... pincher. Upper and lower my eye. I'll take the lower, thanks.
Macaulay Connor: If you can't get a drawing room.
Tracy Lord: What does that mean?
Macaulay Connor: My mistake.
Tracy Lord: Decidedly. You're insulting!
Macaulay Connor: Sorry.
Tracy Lord: Oh, don't apologize!
Macaulay Connor: Well, who's apologizing?
Tracy Lord: I never knew such a man.
Macaulay Connor: You wouldn't be likely to, from where you sit!
Tracy Lord: Talk about arrogance.
Macaulay Connor: Tracy.
Tracy Lord: What do you want?
Macaulay Connor: [pause] You're wonderful.

Tracy Lord: [Tracy and Mike have almost kissed. Both are very drunk] Has your mind taken hold again, dear professor?
Macaulay Connor: Good thing, don't you agree?
Tracy Lord: No, professor.
Macaulay Connor: [angrily] Alright, lay off that "professor" stuff! Now, do you hear me?
Tracy Lord: Yes, professor...

Macaulay Connor: Doggone it, C.K. Dexter Haven. Either I'm gonna sock you or you're gonna sock me.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Shall we toss a coin?

Macaulay Connor: I'm testing the air. I like it but it doesn't like me.

Macaulay Connor: The prettiest sight in this fine pretty world is the privileged class enjoying its privileges.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Orange juice, certainly.
Tracy Lord: Don't tell me you've forsaken your beloved whisky and whiskies.
C. K. Dexter Haven: No-no-no-no. I've just changed their colour, that's all. I'm going for the pale pastel shades now. They're more becoming of me. How about you, Mr. Connor? You drink, don't you - alcohol, I mean?
Macaulay Connor: Oh, a little.
C. K. Dexter Haven: [Amused] A little? And you a writer? Tsk, tsk, tsk. I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wives. You know, at one time I think I secretly wanted to be a writer.
[He and Tracy exchange scornful looks]

Macaulay Connor: Champagne's funny stuff. I'm used to whiskey. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne's heavy mist before my eyes.

Macaulay Connor: I would sell my grandmother for a drink - and you know how I love my grandmother.

Macaulay Connor: I don't think you're being fair to me, Mr. Kidd.
Sidney Kidd: No?
Macaulay Connor: No. You're treating me like you treat all your other writers.

Tracy Lord: These stories are beautiful. Why, Mike, they're almost poetry.
Macaulay Connor: Don't kid yourself, they are.

Macaulay Connor: [speaking of Tracy] What are her leading characteristics?
C. K. Dexter Haven: She has a horror of men who wear their hats in the house.
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Leading characteristics to be filled in later.
Macaulay Connor: I can fill them in right now: the rich, rapacious, American female. There's no other country where she exists.
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: And would I change places with Tracy Samantha Lord for all her wealth and beauty? Oh boy just ask me.

Macaulay Connor: [drunk, to driver] Well, this is where Cinderella gets off, now you hurry back to the ball before you turn into a pumpkin and six white mice, goodbye.

Macaulay Connor: [drunk] You going my way miss?
Tracy Lord: [drunk] That's "Miss Goddess" to you
Macaulay Connor: Okay, Miss Goddess To Me.

Macaulay Connor: Tell four footmen to call me in time for lunch will you?

C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm sorry, but I thought I better hit you before he did. He's in better shape than I am.
Macaulay Connor: Well you'll do!

Sidney Kidd: You really hate me, don't you Connor?
Macaulay Connor: Oh no!
[pause]
Macaulay Connor: I don't like you very much though.

Macaulay Connor: [telling off Sidney Kidd, his boss] Quote: No hunter of buckshot in the rear is cagey, crafty Connor. Un-quote. Close paragraph.
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Close job. Close bank account.

[Liz screams as Uncle Willie pinches her on the rear]
Macaulay Connor: Don't DO that!
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: I... I feel exactly as though I'd been pinched.
Seth Lord: Don't you think you weren't.

Margaret Lord: Are you one of the musicians?
Macaulay Connor: No!
Margaret Lord: Oh of course, you're Junius's friend. Only you're not. Do you have any violin strings?
Macaulay Connor: [digs in his pocket] I have an aspirin. Will that work?
Margaret Lord: I don't think so! It's for a violin. Oh well, no matter!

Macaulay Connor: [to the butler] The Queen will have bread and honey at the usual time.

[Mike discovers the intercom in the Lords' house]
Macaulay Connor: Uh-oh, Liz, what did I tell you? Look, how do you like this - living room, sitting room, terrace, pool, stables.
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: That's probably so they can talk to the horses without having them in the house.

Macaulay Connor: Tracy.
Tracy Lord: What do you want?
Macaulay Connor: You're wonderful. There's a magnificence in you, Tracy.
Tracy Lord: Now I'm getting self-conscious. It's funny. I - Mike? Let's...
Macaulay Connor: Yeah?
Tracy Lord: I don't know - go up, I guess, it's late.
Macaulay Connor: A magnificence that comes out of your eyes, in your voice, in the way you stand there, in the way you walk. You're lit from within, Tracy. You've got fires banked down in you, hearth-fires and holocausts.
Tracy Lord: I don't seem to you made of bronze?
Macaulay Connor: No, you're made out of flesh and blood. That's the blank, unholy surprise of it. You're the golden girl, Tracy. Full of life and warmth and delight. What goes on? You've got tears in your eyes.
Tracy Lord: Shut up, shut up. Oh, Mike. Keep talking, keep talking. Talk, will you?

Macaulay Connor: Look, who's doing the interviewing here?
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Do you think she caught on somehow?
Macaulay Connor: No, she was born like that, don't let her throw you.
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Do you want to take over?
Macaulay Connor: I want to go home!

Macaulay Connor: What's this? Is it my book?
C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes.
Macaulay Connor: C. K. Dexter Haven you have unsuspected depth!
C. K. Dexter Haven: Thanks, old chap.
Macaulay Connor: But have you read it?
C. K. Dexter Haven: When I was trying to stop drinking, I read anything.
Macaulay Connor: And did you stop drinking?
C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes. Your book didn't do it though.

Tracy Lord: I can't make you out at all now.
Macaulay Connor: I thought I was easy.
Tracy Lord: So did I. But you're not. You talk so big and tough and then you write like this. Which is which?
Macaulay Connor: Both. I guess.
Tracy Lord: No. No, I believe you put the toughness down to save your skin.
Macaulay Connor: You think so?
Tracy Lord: Yes. I know a little about that.
Macaulay Connor: You do?
Tracy Lord: Quite a lot.

Macaulay Connor: C.K. Dexter Haven, I would like to talk to you.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, let's go in the talking room.

Sidney Kidd: Anyway, presented for the first time, quote: A wedding day inside mainline society.
Macaulay Connor: Or what the kitchen maid saw through the keyhole. Unquote.

Macaulay Connor: [calling outside his house] C.K. Dexter Haven! Oh, C.K. Dexter Haven!
C. K. Dexter Haven: [coming to the door in his pajamas] What's up?
Macaulay Connor: You are.
C. K. Dexter Haven: I only hope it's worth it. Come in.

Macaulay Connor: My father was a history teacher.
Tracy Lord: English history has always fascinated me. Robin Hood, Cromwell, Jack the Ripper. Where did he teach? Your father I mean.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: [referring to Dinah] What's this?
Macaulay Connor: Idiot, probably.

Macaulay Connor: [drunk] I bring you greetings and Cinderella's slipper, champagne. Champagne is a great leveleler... leveleler. It makes you my equal.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Not quite.
Macaulay Connor: Well, almost my equal.

Macaulay Connor: [after Tracy has declined his last-minute marriage proposal] But they're in there! They're waiting!
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Don't get too conventional all at once, will you? There'll be a reaction.

Librarian: What is thee wish?
Macaulay Connor: I'm looking for some local b - what'd you say?
Librarian: What is thee wish?
Macaulay Connor: Um, local biography or history.
Librarian: If thee will consult with my colleague in there.
Macaulay Connor: Mm-hm. Dost thou have a washroom?
[the librarian points]
Macaulay Connor: Thank thee.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: I remember your honeymoon quite well. You and she on a little sail boat, the "True Love", wasn't it?
C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes it was. How did you know?
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: I was the only photographer whose camera you didn't smash. You were terribly nice about it. You threw it in the ocean.
Macaulay Connor: Oh, one of those.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes I had the strange notion that our honeymoon was our own.

Macaulay Connor: C.K. Dexter Haven, what kind of a name is that?
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Macaulay Connor is no homespun tag, my pet.
Macaulay Connor: Yeah, well you just try calling him Macaulay.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: There's a cousin, Joanna, who's definitely crazy.
Macaulay Connor: Who told you that.
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Dinah.
Macaulay Connor: Well Dinah would know.

Macaulay Connor: [after learning that Dexter is Tracy's ex-husband and is going to help with introducing him and Liz] Holy mackerel. What goes on here?

Macaulay Connor: C.K. Dexter Haven! What a name tag!
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Macauly Connor is no homespun tag either, my pet.
Macaulay Connor: Yeah, well you just try calling him Macauly!
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: I knew a plain Joe Smith once. Worst rat I ever met.

Tracy Lord: [Turns towards Liz] Maid of honour?
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Matron.
Macaulay Connor: [Looks at Liz, puzzled]
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Joe Smith, hardware department.


High Society (1956)
Mike: She's a lovely girl.
Tracy: Yes, isn't she? Ah, but we're afraid she has a homicidal streak.

Mike: Didn't you once know a girl named Tracy Samantha Lord?
Dexter: Yes, I did.
Mike: No, you didn't! If you did, you wouldn't have let her go!

Mike: Don't dig that kind of crooning, chum.
Dexter: You must be one of the newer fellows.

Dexter: [hits Mike, turns to George] She's not your wife yet and she *was* mine you know.
[George stalks off, Dexter turns to Mike]
Dexter: Thought I'd better get in first, he's in much better shape.
Mike: You'll do.

Mike: Mr Kittredge, it may interest you to know that our so-called affair consisted of exactly two kisses and one rather late swim both of which I thoroughly enjoyed and the memory of which I wouldn't part with for anything. After which I returned here, carried her to her room, deposited her on her bed and promptly returned here which you will no doubt remember.
George Kittredge: That's all?
Mike: That's all.
Tracy: Why? Was I so cold? So forbidding?
Mike: Not at all. On the contrary but you were somewhat the worse or the better for the wine and there are rules about such things.

Mike: Hey, Liz.
Liz Imbrie: Huh?
Mike: Look at all the loot they've collected.
Liz Imbrie: They must run a hockshop on the side.

Mike: We'll go over the wall. Whose car should we use?
Tracy: Any one.
Mike: How about that blue one?
Tracy: Oh no, that's mine!

Mike: Have you heard the story of a boy a girl, unrequited love?
Dexter: Sounds like pure soap opera.
Mike: I may cry.
Dexter: Tune in tomorrow.

Mike: You know how I feel about my grandmother but I'd sell her for a drink.

Mike: [Dexter is carrying a morning-after-the-night-before drink for Sam] Is that for me?
Dexter: It's for Sam, you want one?
Mike: You know how I feel about my grandmother but I'd sell her for a drink.
Dexter: Uncle Willie's in the pantry doing weird and wonderful things with healing waters. Tell him you'd like one of the same.
Mike: Can I ask for two?
Dexter: Keep going till you run out of grandmothers.
Mike: I'll be drinking a long time.

Liz Imbrie: Were you by any chance playing footsie with me at lunch?
Mike: From where I sat?
Liz Imbrie: I didn't think your reach was that good. Seth Lord has a roving eye *and* foot.

Mike: Liz, I know I'm not destiny's dream man but...
Liz Imbrie: Mike, I think I'd better grab you. You're likely to get in trouble one of these days.

Mike: [on telephone] This is the voice of doom.
Mrs. Lord: What?
Mike: This is to tell you your days are numbered.
[hangs up]
Mrs. Lord: Oh dear. One of the servants has been at the sherry again.

Mike: Hands up!
Tracy: Oh it's you! Go away.
Mike: Where are you going?
Tracy: Some place and dance.
Mike: But they're dancing in there.
Tracy: I know but George is frowning at me and I can't dance when anyone frowns at me.

Liz Imbrie: Elegant junk.
Mike: It's shiny.

George Kittredge: I have a feeling you had more to do with this than anybody. You and your whole rotten class.
Dexter: Oh class my...
Mike: grandmother!

Mike: Who wants to be a millionaire?
Liz Imbrie: I don't.

Mike: Would you have four footmen bring me a large ashtray.
Liz Imbrie: Mike, be careful what you say. We may be wired for sound.

Mike: This joint's full of spies.
Liz Imbrie: That should make us feel at home.

Mike: She can't be for real.
Liz Imbrie: Who was doing the interviewing?
Mike: You think she was born that way?
Liz Imbrie: Nah. Takes years.

Tracy: Are you learning anything about the idle rich?
Mike: Yeah, they drive too fast. Where are we headed anyway?
Tracy: The graveyard.
Mike: I'm not ready.
Tracy: I thought I'd show you the playground of the rich, the graveyard of the wealthy.
Mike: Well, for that I'm ready.

Mike: [drunkenly] If you had really know her, you would've
[hiccup]
Mike: never let her get away. You go hiccups.
Dexter: Excuse me.
Mike: It's alright.

Mike: I'm gonna dance.
Dexter: Don't get hurt.

Dexter: [singing] You're my bon ami.
Mike: Hey, that's French

George Kittredge: This is all your fault! You and your whole rotten class!
Dexter: Oh, class my...
Mike: ...Grandmother!

Mike: Oh Tracy, you're tremendous.
Tracy: It's funny because I feel very small. Put me in your pocket, Mike.