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Quotes for
Wayne Jarvis (Character)
from "Arrested Development" (2003)

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"Arrested Development: In God We Trust (#1.7)" (2003)
Michael: My mother is opposed to the idea of hiring a new attorney. She'll probably refuse to enter the room if she sees you.
Wayne Jarvis: I shall hide behind the couch.
[and he does just that]
Michael: Guy's a pro.

Lucille: You idiots! If your father sees me here with Wayne...
Michael: ...we'll be stuck with Barry!
Wayne Jarvis: I shall duck behind that little garbage car.
[and does just that]
Michael: Guy's a pro.

Michael: There's a big bowl of candy in my office, why don't you go eat it?
[Lucille enters and while the door is closing]
Wayne Jarvis: Wayne Jarvis, attorney at law. I have a responsibility to tell you that there is *no* candy in this office.

Lucille: You idiots. If he sees me with Wayne...
Michael: ...we'll be stuck with Barry.
Wayne Jarvis: I shall duck behind that little garbage car.
[Wayne goes to hide]
Michael: Guy's a pro.


"Arrested Development: Sad Sack (#2.5)" (2004)
Michael: Why haven't you talked to my brother, the new President of the company?
Wayne Jarvis: We did earlier. He claims to know nothing.
Michael: Well, that's not an act. He twice tried to heat up a Ding-Dong in a microwave while it was still in its tinfoil.
Wayne Jarvis: Twice?
Michael: Two times.

Barry Zuckerkorn: Those are the pictures?
Wayne Jarvis: They're all over the news.
Barry Zuckerkorn: Those are balls.
Wayne Jarvis: What?
Narrator: Barry was right. Tobias had inadvertently photographed himself while learning how to use his new camera phone.
Barry Zuckerkorn: This close, they always look like landscape. But nope, you're looking at balls.