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: Are you willing to take a polygraph? Barry Zuckerkorn
: [Michael refers to his lawyer for advice, who whispers rather loudly
] Are you nuts? Michael
: [to the detective
] Not without a better lawyer.
[Barry has a hooker with him during "Take Your Daughter to Work Day"
: I didn't know you had a daughter. Barry Zuckerkorn
: I don't. Charlotte
: I thought you wanted me to call you Daddy. Barry Zuckerkorn
: Why don't you wait for Daddy in the car?
[George Sr. has been offered a plea bargain nobody has read
: All right, listen, this is all getting a little crazy. We cannot accept their plea if we don't even know what the plea is. Barry Zuckerkorn
: Do you want to read it? Michael
: No, it is pretty thick. Maybe we should just take the plea. Barry Zuckerkorn
: Oh, I could kiss you on the nuts! Michael
: We just gotta hope that... what?
: Those are the pictures? Wayne Jarvis
: They're all over the news. Barry Zuckerkorn
: Those are balls. Wayne Jarvis
: What? Narrator
: Barry was right. Tobias had inadvertently photographed himself while learning how to use his new camera phone. Barry Zuckerkorn
: This close, they always look like landscape. But nope, you're looking at balls.
: If he can't reach, the trial's a breach. Barry Zuckerkorn
: That's what we call a Lob Bomb.
: Yes, this is Michael Bluth for Barry. Barry Zuckerkorn
: [to his secretary
] I'm not here! Barry's Secretary
: Barry's not in right now. Would you like to leave her a message? Michael
: Yeah, tell her she needs to whisper a little softer next time, *and* I'm not paying for this phone call! Barry Zuckerkorn
: I am not a girl, you... Barry's Secretary
: [pulls out a tape recorder
] Go ahead, call me something. I'm redecorating my kitchen.
: On the next Arrested Development, Lindsay finds herself strangely compelled to be with Tobias... Lindsay Funke
: Oh my god, I'm sorry, I walked into the wrong trailer! Dave Attell
: Wow, the service sent you over quick. Narrator
: ...But not the one she's married to. Lindsay Funke
: [he quickly disrobes
] You don't cry when you take those off? Narrator
: Having finally had sex, GOB can admit that he never consummated his marriage. George "Gob" Bluth II
: Your Honor, we never consummated this marriage. Wife of Gob
: Judge, maybe you should take a look at this, which was taken in your office just moments ago.
[She hands the judge a picture, and GOB is seen shirtless with the shirt over his head
: Then GOB catches a lucky break. Judge Lionel Ping
: There's no way to tell who this man is. Narrator
: But it doesn't last long. George "Gob" Bluth II
: Oh that's me, your honor, I fucked my wife. Barry Zuckerkorn
: Oh, we've really lost this case. Narrator
: And Maeby impresses some kids at the Promise Land with her one scary campfire story. Mae 'Maebe' Funke
: Knock, scrape. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call!
[Buster enters the clearing while holding up his hook
: Hey, campers.
[the kids all scream and run away
: I'm a monster! Michael
: This may have been a step backward.
: Michael, you have a chance to save this family. Please, do the right thing here - string this blind girl along so that Dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society. Barry Zuckerkorn
: The solution to all our problems is staring you in the face and it can't even see you!