Young George-Michael
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Quotes for
Young George-Michael (Character)
from "Arrested Development" (2003)

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"Arrested Development: Pilot (#1.1)" (2003)
Michael Bluth: What have we always said is the most important thing?
George Michael Bluth: Breakfast
Michael Bluth: Family
George Michael Bluth: Oh, right. Family. I thought you meant of the things you eat.

[George Michael meets Maebe for the first time]
Mae 'Maebe' Funke: Excuse me. I bought one of your frozen bananas and when I bit into it, I found this!
[she shows him the foot she cut off of Lucille's fox wrap]
George Michael Bluth: That looks like a foot.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke: It tasted like a foot! Which I really didn't mind except I believe I asked for no nuts.

George Michael Bluth: Well I'd rather live like this than be like my aunts and uncles whose eyes have never stung from the sweet sweat of a hard days work.
Michael: Whoa, whoa, whoa, where you getting all that?
George Michael Bluth: From you, you say it every couple of years when they come out to visit.
Michael: Well you're right, they are spoiled.

George Michael Bluth: Uncle Gob? Uncle Gob?
Gob: Give me a dollar, no! the twenty. This is gonna blow your mind. Some say wealth is an illusion, well let's just see. For one moment it's here and the next... Monopoly. You don't have it do you?
George Michael Bluth: I think I might.
Gob: Thats good cause alot of the pieces are missing. Ah, to play monopoly with my family again. I'd give anything to be eight.
George Michael Bluth: I'm thirteen.
Gob: Nah, I wasn't crazy about thirteen. The acne, the self-consciousness, the erections. You okay?
George Michael Bluth: Yeah, I'm good
Gob: Hey! there's the man I came to see.
George Michael Bluth: Uh, Uncle Gob where's the twenty?
Gob: Hey! a magician never reveals his secrets, that's what I started the whole alliance about.
George Michael Bluth: I don't need the secret I just need the...
Gob: What you need to know...
[dramatic pause]
Gob: Is that it's magic.
George Michael Bluth: Wow... It's so much like stealing.

George Michael Bluth: Ten cents gets ya nuts.

"Arrested Development: S.O.B.s (#3.9)" (2006)
Donnie Richter: We dont have grades here. A student either learns and gets an "L" or they fluctuate.
George Michael Bluth: What do we get for that?
Donnie Richter: An "F".
[Mr. F music plays]

Michael: My son expresses himself just fine. Isn't that right, son?
George Michael Bluth: What? Yeah Thanks. Fine I guess. Whatever, I don't care, just stop!

"Arrested Development: Missing Kitty (#1.18)" (2004)
George Michael Bluth: [discussing GOB's plans to make the yacht disappear] Yeah, but if the trick worked, wouldn't everyone see me just standing there?
Mae 'Maebe' Funke: Let's just sit quietly and consider how ridiculous that statement is.

George Michael Bluth: [George Michael answers phone] Hello, Bluth Company.
George Michael Bluth: Talk you off what, PopPop?
George Bluth Sr.: Oh, George Michael! I thought you were - when's that voice gonna drop? Put Kitty on the phone.

"Arrested Development: Notapusy (#3.4)" (2005)
Narrator: Meanwhile, at the Church And State Fair, Maeby was signing up for the inner beauty pagaent.
George-Michael Bluth: So why are you doing this, Maeby?
Mae "Maeby" Fünke: It's Shirley. I'm just here to show that all these pagaents care about is looks.
George-Michael Bluth: What's with your nose?
Mae "Maeby" Fünke: Isn't it cool? It's the same one Nicole Kidman wore in "The Hours".
Narrator: It had been purchased for her by Jamie Kennedy who was hoping to land a part in Maeby's film.
Jamie Kennedy: Ten thousand dollars!
Mae "Maeby" Fünke: You're such a dear, but I'm not putting you in my remake.
[a giant green "X" appears on Jamie Kennedy]

Tobias Fünke: He might be afraid of sex, but you're not.
George Michael Bluth: I'm not afraid of sex.
Tobias Fünke: Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with here.
[George Michael hesitates]
Tobias Fünke: I thought so.

"Arrested Development: Bringing Up Buster (#1.3)" (2003)
Steve Holt: [reading the cast list for Tobais's play] Steve Holt!
Maebe: Steve Holt!
George Michael Bluth: Stand in for... Steve Holt?
Steve Holt: [interrupting] Steve Holt!

George Michael Bluth: [upon reading who he's been cast as in the school play] Stand in for... Steve Holt?
Steve Holt: Steve Holt!

"Arrested Development: Beef Consomme (#1.13)" (2004)
George Michael Bluth: So, uh, I've been thinking about that conversation we were having the other night about, uh, where Maeby came from. And uh, I was just wondering if you could finish that thought.
Tobias Fünke: Yes, okay, uh... well, have a seat. Uh... um... when a man... needs to prove to a woman that he's actua- when a man loves a woman, and he actually wants to make love, uh, to her, something very, very special happens. And with deep, deep concentration and, and great focus, he's often able to achieve an erec...
George Michael Bluth: I'm sorry, I'm going to stop you. I know what you mean. I, I didn't mean babies in general.
Tobias Fünke: Oh, well that's good. Because it was about to get a little, eh, gross.

George Michael Bluth: Hey, was Aunt Lindsey ever pregnant?
Gob: Oh yea, dozens of times.

"Arrested Development: Motherboy XXX (#2.13)" (2005)
Mae 'Maebe' Funke: So what is this camping trip?
George Michael Bluth: It's called "the Promised Land", you're supposed to make promises about your relationships in accordance with the generations that proceeded you.
George Michael Bluth: [picking up a cup] Hey, there's booze in this.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke: That's the promised land that Ann's taking you to? You're going to need this more than Polly here.

Michael: [Michael catches George-Michael and Maebe in the attic] What are you kids doing up here?
George Michael Bluth: Looking for the camping stuff. Where do we keep the mattress pumps?
Michael: I had to take all pumps out of here a long time ago.

"Arrested Development: Making a Stand (#3.8)" (2005)
George Michael Bluth: It will just escalate like this back and fourth all day.
Narrator: And it did just that. But the footage it produced was less compelling than you might think, and was not funny no matter what music was put behind it. It was kind of funny to "Yellow Submarine" but who could afford it?

Steve Holt: [after GOB opens a new frozen banana stand] We don't even really know the recipe.
George Michael Bluth: There's no recipe. You just freeze a banana and stick it in the...
Michael: [quickly interrupting] Don't tell them!
Steve Holt: Stick it in the what? Stick it in the what?!

"Arrested Development: Amigos (#2.3)" (2004)
George Michael Bluth: You said I was hogging her. Like I was being a litlle Ann hog. Can she come with us?
Michael: Ann Hog's coming?

George Michael Bluth: Way to plant, Ann.
Michael: George-Michael, why don't you take Plant and wait in the car?

"Arrested Development: Prison Break-In (#3.7)" (2005)
George Michael Bluth: Because anything can happen when two people share a cell, 'cos.
George Michael Bluth: [Maebe stares at him] It's a line from the Warden's screenplay.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke: What? Oh, OH! I don't know what I was worried about.
Narrator: And that would be the happiest moment George-Michael would ever experience in his entire life.

Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, George-Michael experiences his unhappiest moment ever.
George Michael Bluth: Where's Maebe?
Tobias Fünke: She's in the next cell. Looks like we're going to be spending the night, cos!
[a giant green X appears on George-Michael]

"Arrested Development: Switch Hitter (#2.7)" (2005)
George Michael Bluth: I just came to talk to you about the softball game. We need some girls on the team.
Michael: It's a league requirement.
Narrator: One that was difficult to keep, given GOB's behavior in the third inning of last year's game.
[GOB is running behind one of the female players, slapping her on the behind]
Narrator: And in the fifth.
[One of the female players falls down and GOB lays on top of her]
Narrator: Oh, and before the game.
[GOB pours water over the female players]
Michael: We lost our entire outfield and a couple of court cases.

Michael: What do you think of when you hear the word, "Sudden Valley"?
George Michael Bluth: Salad dressing, I think. But for some reason I don't want to eat it.
Michael: Right. But, "Paradise Gardens"?
George Michael Bluth: Yeah... Okay, I can... I can see marinating a chicken in that.

"Arrested Development: The One Where Michael Leaves (#2.1)" (2004)
Michael: I don't know why you're not taking this "I'm out of here" seriously because I am out of here. Seriously.
Gob: Face it, Michael, you've made this threat before.
Michael: Tell me, when?
Michael: [caption reads: "Dinner mishap"] I'm outta here.
Michael: [caption reads: "Christmas magic show fiasco"] I'm outta here.
Michael: [caption reads: "Monkey Freedom Rally setback"] I'm outta this family, seriously.
Michael: This time we'll be so far away that you wont be able to find us.
George Michael Bluth: Phoenix. We're going to Phoenix.
Michael: Don't tell them!

"Arrested Development: Whistler's Mother (#1.20)" (2004)
Mae "Maeby" Fünke: You know that secret you have? The one about the hair that nobody is suppose to see?
George-Michael Bluth: [uncomfortable] uh...
Mae "Maeby" Fünke: I saw it.
George-Michael Bluth: [more uncomfortable] oh...
Mae "Maeby" Fünke: I saw pop-pop.
George-Michael Bluth: [relieved] Oh right! Pop-pop with hair.

"Arrested Development: My Mother the Car (#1.8)" (2003)
Michael Bluth: Fine, we'll have a party
Mae 'Maebe' Funke: For Gangey?
Michael Bluth: Yeah, how'd you know?
George Michael Bluth: She called and invited us.
Lindsay Funke: [to Michael] Okay, maybe it was her idea.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke: We don't have to come, do we?
Michael Bluth: Come on, this is a Bluth family celebration. It's no place for children.

"Arrested Development: Spring Breakout (#2.17)" (2005)
George Michael Bluth: [to Maebe] Maeby, don't you get it? They're not even eating these. They just like saying "bananas" and "nuts," and I won't... I won't tell you why. That's your father's job.
Tobias Fünke: [elsewhere, filming the "Men With Low Self Esteem" video] Come on. Let's see some bananas and nuts. Oh, perhaps we should just pull their pants off.

"Arrested Development: Charity Drive (#1.5)" (2003)
[while George-Michael and Maeby are going through files at the patent office, Maeby sticks her gum to the cabinet]
George-Michael Bluth: What are you doing? They're going to know we were here!
Mae "Maeby" Fünke: They already know that. Our fingerprints are all over the room.
George-Michael Bluth: You said they wouldn't check for fingerprints!
Mae "Maeby" Fünke: I said don't wear your mittens. They look ridiculous on the security camera.
George-Michael Bluth: THERE'S A SECURITY CAMERA?

"Arrested Development: Public Relations (#1.11)" (2004)
George Michael Bluth: You know, I have a job.
Tobias Fünke: [coughing] Kiss ass... well we were all thinking it.
Buster: Uh, I'm unclear about what it is exactly you do...
Jessie Bowers: Excellent question, what a publicist does is...
Buster: No, no, no I was talking to George Michael. When did you get a job?
George Michael Bluth: At the banana stand.
Buster: Oh! Duh! I thought you meant like a plumber or something and I was like 'when did that happen?'

"Arrested Development: The One Where They Build a House (#2.2)" (2004)
Michael: I'm sure Egg is a great person.
George Michael Bluth: It's... it's Ann.

"Arrested Development: In God We Trust (#1.7)" (2003)
[George Michael is trying to explain to his uncle why he cannot take off a muscle suit]
George Michael Bluth: I just can't take it off. You'll never understand.
Tobias Fünke: ...I'll never understand? That you can never be nude?
[he disrobes, exposing his cut-off jeans]
Tobias Fünke: I'll understand more than you'll... never know.

"Arrested Development: For British Eyes Only (#3.2)" (2005)
George Michael Bluth: [to Maeby] What a fun and sexy time for you!

"Arrested Development: Storming the Castle (#1.9)" (2004)
George Michael Bluth: Yeah, I'm gonna need a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and need to go into a controlled slide.

"Arrested Development: Not Without My Daughter (#1.21)" (2004)
George Michael Bluth: Three guys hanging out together... what could be more butch than that?

"Arrested Development: Meat the Veals (#2.16)" (2005)
George-Michael Bluth: Gangy's having an anniversary party?
Michael Bluth: Seems that way.
George-Michael Bluth: Is Franklin gonna be there?
Gob: See that, Mike. Kids love Franklin.
George-Michael Bluth: I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.

"Arrested Development: Ready, Aim, Marry Me (#2.10)" (2005)
George Michael Bluth: Hey dad.
Michael: Hey buddy.
George Michael Bluth: Was that Gangy who was just -
[slips on Lucille's spilled drink and falls]
Michael: You all right? Sorry. Your grandmother had a little accident here.
George Michael Bluth: Oh. Does that means she's gonna have to come live with us?

"Arrested Development: Hand to God (#2.12)" (2005)
Lucille: [the family is waiting for news on Buster from a very literal doctor] How's my son?
The Literal Doctor: He's going to be all right.
Lindsay Funke: Finally some good news from this guy.
George Michael Bluth: There's no other way to take that.
The Literal Doctor: That's a great attitude. I got to tell you, if I was getting this news, I don't know that I'd take it this well.
Lucille: But you said he was all right.
The Literal Doctor: Yes, he's lost his left hand. So he's going to be "all right."
Lucille: [Jumping on the doctor] You son of a bitch. I hate this doctor.
Lindsay Funke: How do we keep getting this guy?
Michael: Mom, he's a very literal man.
The Literal Doctor: Yes, that's more the way I would take the news.

"Arrested Development: Visiting Ours (#1.6)" (2003)
Mae 'Maebe' Funke: [Maebe and George Michael are planning to follow Maebe's parents] Go! Drive!
George Michael Bluth: Well, it says "Bluth Company" on the side, they'll notice that. Plus it's a staircase, that's going to catch the eye.
Narrator: The airport stairway vehicle is the last vestige of the Bluth's former wealth. Also, that House Of Pies went out of business.

"Arrested Development: Pier Pressure (#1.10)" (2004)
George Michael Bluth: ...It was for me. I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette.

"Arrested Development: Let 'Em Eat Cake (#1.22)" (2004)
George Michael Bluth: [Michael wants to leave his family] I like the family. I mean, if we leave, who's gonna take care of these people?
Michael: I don't know. The state or the police. Maybe the Magician's Alliance will pick up some slack.

"Arrested Development: Shock and Aww (#1.14)" (2004)
George Michael Bluth: [George Michael is in love with his ethics teacher] I don't want to let down Miss Baerly. She's nice, you know?
Lindsay Funke: She's interesting... and pretty?
George Michael Bluth: Well, I don't know why I'm telling you this. I guess there's just some things you can't always say to your dad.
Lindsay Funke: Ah. sounds like you'd like her to be more than just your teacher.
Narrator: Lindsay believed that George Michael wanted to fix up his father so he could fill the role of his mother.
Lindsay Funke: There's nothing wrong with that. Although... I must say I'm a little hurt that you haven't considered me.
George Michael Bluth: You're my aunt.
Lindsay Funke: That doesn't matter. Aunts can fill that role. Teachers can fill that role. And, someday, you're going to find the right woman to fill that role. But until then... I'll be right across the hall.
Narrator: Lindsay had never been more proud of anything she had said in her entire life.
George Michael Bluth: Yikes.

"Arrested Development: Good Grief! (#2.4)" (2004)
George Michael Bluth: That's my ex-girlfriend, Ann. Her face will be forever etched in my mind.
George Sr.: Her?
George Michael Bluth: She's really funny.
George Sr.: Well, let's hope so.