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Quotes for
Paul Gerard (Character)
from "Columbo: Murder Under Glass (#7.2)" (1978)

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"Columbo: Murder Under Glass (#7.2)" (1978)
Lt. Columbo: The boy said something about an argument and a lot of shouting. What was that about, sir?
Paul Gerard: It was a trivial matter.
Lt. Columbo: Yes, sir. Most arguments seem to start that way.

Lt. Columbo: Sorry, Mr. Gerard, but I can't let you get away with it.
Paul Gerard: What?
Lt. Columbo: Your recipe. You didn't think I'd remember, did you? It's onion sauce.

Lt. Columbo: Well, this is quite a coincidence. I had no idea you were here.
Paul Gerard: Would you care to join me?
Lt. Columbo: Well, I'm really not hungry, sir. I just polished off three mushrooms stuffed with crab meat, but I'll join you anyway. If you're anything like me, you're not too crazy about eating alone.

Paul Gerard: I'm beginning to regard you as an old acquaintance, Lieutenant.
Lt. Columbo: Well, thank you very much, sir. I'm beginning to know you pretty well, too.

Paul Gerard: What makes you think Vittorio was in some sort of trouble?
Lt. Columbo: Mainly because he was murdered, sir. The two, trouble and murder, they seem to go together. At least that's been my experience, sir.

Paul Gerard: [referring to Vittorio's death] Albert, can all this be true?
Albert: Mr. Gerard, Vittorio was a fine man. You're a food critic, great critic. I'm a simple chef, but I'm sure I speak for chefs everywhere when I say I wish it was you dead in there.

Paul Gerard: I wanted you to have one last taste of Tokyo before you begin your tour of American restaurants.
Kenji Ozu: They won't believe this when I send back the story. They think I'm eating hot dogs and grits.
Eve Plummer: Have you ever eaten grits?
Kenji Ozu: No, not yet.
Eve Plummer: Don't bother.

Lt. Columbo: I expected to see you at Mr. Rossi's funeral. I guess you couldn't make it.
Paul Gerard: I never go to funerals. I prefer to remember my friends as I saw them last.
Lt. Columbo: I believe Mr. Rossi was yelling at you when you saw him last. Isn't that right, sir?
Paul Gerard: You mustn't take me literally, Lieutenant.

Paul Gerard: Have you eaten?
Lt. Columbo: Ah, yes, sir. It seems I've been eating quite a bit lately. It's terrific.

Lt. Columbo: Oh. One more thing. Gee, I almost forgot what I came here to ask ya.
Paul Gerard: Fortunately, you remembered.

Paul Gerard: You're a very able man, Lieutenant. I respect that, but I really don't care for you very much.
Lt. Columbo: You know, sir, I was thinking the same thing about you. I respect your talent, but I don't like anything else about you.

Lt. Columbo: [Watching Paul Gerard eat the dish he prepared] What do you think?
Paul Gerard: Lieutenant, I wish you had been a chef.
Lt. Columbo: I understand, sir.

Paul Gerard: When did you first suspect me?
Lt. Columbo: Well, as it happens, sir... about two minutes after I met you.
Paul Gerard: That can't be possible.
Lt. Columbo: Oh, you made it perfectly clear, sir, the very first night when you decided to come to the restaurant directly after you were informed that Vittorio was poisoned.
Paul Gerard: I was instructed to come here by the police.
Lt. Columbo: And you came, sir.
Paul Gerard: Yes.
Lt. Columbo: After eating dinner with a man that had been poisoned. You didn't go to a doctor. You came because the police instructed you. You didn't go to a hospital. You didn't even ask to have your stomach pumped. Mr. Gerard, that's the damnedest example of good citizenship I've ever seen.