Claude
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Quotes for
Claude (Character)
from Along Came Polly (2004)

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Along Came Polly (2004)
Claude: Luban! Look me in my eyeball. I treat her like my own flesh and blood.

Claude: Solid.

Claude: Holy shit, Luban! This is not what it look like!

Reuben Feffer: What did you do to her? Did you mess around with her oxygen tanks or something?
Claude: I did nothing, Luban.
Reuben Feffer: My name is not Luban! It is Reuben!
Claude: Look, look we had a scuba, we drink some white wine, we talk about life and we cannot help it. It is like love at first sight. She make like the fire in my trouser.

Claude: It's like zee story of zee heeppo.
Reuben Feffer: I'm not familiar with that story.
Claude: Zee heeppopotamoose, he is not born saying, "Cool beans. I am a heeppo." No way, Joesay. So he try to paint zee stripe on him to be like zee zebra, but he fool no one. Then he try to put zee spot on zee skin to be like the leopard, but everyboody know he is a heeppo. So, at certain point, he look himself in zee mirror and he just say, "Hey. I am a heeppopotamoose and zere is nothing I can do about it." As soon as he accepts zis, he live life happy. Happy as a heeppo. You understand zis, Luban?
Reuben Feffer: [long pause] I'm gonna kill you!