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: You're going to miss the biggest party of the year!
: This party so rocks, Richard! Richard
: This party sucks rectum, Jeannie!
: Whoa, trick or treat. What's going on? Richard
: This vaginal discharge won't let us partake in the party. Van Wilder
: Gwen, what are you doing here? Van Wilder
: You two know each other? Richard
: That's my girlfriend, gluteus erecti.
: Oh, Gwen! Your labia feels so good around my swollen phallus! Oh! Oh! Oh, I'm fairly confident I'm going to ejaculate. I'm releasing some of my seminal fluids inside of you now!
[grunts and giggles
: Are you okay? Richard
: Yeah. Why? Well, didn't you? Gwen
: Well, it's kind of hard in 15 seconds. Richard
: Damn it, Gwen! You know the kind of pressure I'm under with my exams. Gwen
: I'm sorry. Richard
: Look, I'm sorry. This semester's marks could determine in the next 10 years of our lives together. Do you realize that? Gwen
: You know... you shouldn't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive. Richard
] What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm late for my study group.
: Mr. Wilder here is quite the collegian. He's in his, what? sixth year? Van Wilder
: Actually, its lucky number seven.
[while having sex with Jeannie
: P.S. Shut the fuck up!
: You do not call her that, Gonad!
: How bad do you want to be a Delta? Would you stand on broken glass? Let the shards into your Archilles tendon, causing acute achondroplasia, which could lead to non-congenital dwarfism as you got older?
: Oh my god! We make such a fab team! Last Night, I was so like Bonnie, and you were so like Clyde. And now this. Richard
: Would you shut up? I'm trying to pleasure you. Jeannie
: Sorry, Richard. Plesure away. PS, this is an awesome room. Richard
: PS, shut the fuck up!