Richard Bagg
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Quotes for
Richard Bagg (Character)
from Van Wilder (2002)

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Van Wilder (2002)
Richard: You're going to miss the biggest party of the year!
[Crickets chirp]

Jeannie: This party so rocks, Richard!
Richard: This party sucks rectum, Jeannie!

Van Wilder: Whoa, trick or treat. What's going on?
Richard: This vaginal discharge won't let us partake in the party.
Van Wilder: Graphic.

Richard: Gwen, what are you doing here?
Van Wilder: You two know each other?
Richard: That's my girlfriend, gluteus erecti.

Richard: Oh, Gwen! Your labia feels so good around my swollen phallus! Oh! Oh! Oh, I'm fairly confident I'm going to ejaculate. I'm releasing some of my seminal fluids inside of you now!
[grunts and giggles]
Gwen: Are you okay?
Richard: Yeah. Why? Well, didn't you?
Gwen: Well, it's kind of hard in 15 seconds.
Richard: Damn it, Gwen! You know the kind of pressure I'm under with my exams.
Gwen: I'm sorry.
Richard: Look, I'm sorry. This semester's marks could determine in the next 10 years of our lives together. Do you realize that?
Gwen: You know... you shouldn't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive.
Richard: [laughs] What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm late for my study group.

Richard: Mr. Wilder here is quite the collegian. He's in his, what? sixth year?
Van Wilder: Actually, its lucky number seven.

[while having sex with Jeannie]
Richard: P.S. Shut the fuck up!

Richard: You do not call her that, Gonad!

Richard: How bad do you want to be a Delta? Would you stand on broken glass? Let the shards into your Archilles tendon, causing acute achondroplasia, which could lead to non-congenital dwarfism as you got older?

Jeannie: Oh my god! We make such a fab team! Last Night, I was so like Bonnie, and you were so like Clyde. And now this.
Richard: Would you shut up? I'm trying to pleasure you.
Jeannie: Sorry, Richard. Plesure away. PS, this is an awesome room.
Richard: PS, shut the fuck up!