Sgt. Major Dickerson
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Quotes for
Sgt. Major Dickerson (Character)
from Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)

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Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)
Dickerson: This is not military issue, airman. What sort of uniform is that?
Adrian Cronauer: Cretan camouflage sir. If you want to blend in with a bunch of drunken Greeks there's nothing better.
Dickerson: That is humor. I recognize that. I also recognize your brand of soldier.

Censor #1: [Adrian sees the story about the bombing that he witnessed and he starts taking it to the control room, going past the two censors] What do you think you're doing? You know you're forbidden to read anything not checked by this office.
Adrian Cronauer: What was there to check? I was there.
Censor #1: You know the rules, airman. If this is a legitimate news story, it must go through proper channels.
Adrian Cronauer: Look, tweedledee, it's an actual event.
[referring to the blood on his shirt]
Adrian Cronauer: What do you think this came from? Shaving? It's the truth. I just want to report the truth. It'll be a nice change of pace.
Sgt. Major Dickerson: What's going on here?
Adrian Cronauer: Sir, will you listen to me?
Sgt. Major Dickerson: [reads the story] This is not official news, airman. As far as I'm concerned, it didn't happen.
Adrian Cronauer: It did happen.
Sgt. Major Dickerson: You shut your mouth!
Adrian Cronauer: What are you afraid of Dickerson? People might find out there's a war going on?
Sgt. Major Dickerson: This news is not official.
Adrian Cronauer: You wanna know the assumption is perfectly safe around here? Well, it's not. The fighting's not in the hills, it's downtown. It's a
[shouts]
Adrian Cronauer: couple of fucking blocks!
Sgt. Major Dickerson: I said it's none of your goddamn business!
Adrian Cronauer: I see your point. I'm sorry. Once I get inside and hit these air conditioners I get a little dizzy. Thanks for setting me straight.

General Taylor: Woah, Dick, put the brakes on. I wanted to wait until airman left to talk with you. Dick, I'm transferring you.
Sgt. Major Dickerson: Transferring me? Where to sir?
General Taylor: You're going to Guam.
Sgt. Major Dickerson: Guam sir? There's nothing going on in Guam. Why Guam?
General Taylor: Dick, I've covered for you a lot of times cause I thought you were a little crazy. But you're not crazy, you're mean. And this is just radio.
[goes to the elevator and laughs]
General Taylor: "More dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history." That's funny.

Sgt. Major Dickerson: [Pointing to his rank insignia] What does three up and three down mean to you, airman?
Adrian Cronauer: End of an inning?

Sgt. Major Dickerson: You're not gonna last long here, pal.
Adrian Cronauer: You can always send me back to Crete.
Sgt. Major Dickerson: Oh, you think this is a joke. I can come up with alternatives other than Crete and I'm real good at stuff like that. I got people stuck in places they haven't even considered how to get out of yet. You don't think I can come up with something good? Can you envision some fairly unattractive alternatives?
Adrian Cronauer: Not without slides.

Dickerson: You better not even come within range of anything that happens or your ass is grass, and I'm a lawn mower.

Sgt. Major Dickerson: Welcome back.
Adrian Cronauer: Thank you sergeant. I've missed you.
Sgt. Major Dickerson: [chuckles] I'm informing you that you're outta here. I want your bags packed and ready to go by tomorrow afternoon.
Adrian Cronauer: You don't have the power... I'll take this right to the authorities.
Sgt. Major Dickerson: I am the authorities, you moron! Oh, I've got your pansy ass in a sling now, Cronauer. Who's Tuan? The guys who flew you in radioed that they picked up a young South Vietnamese boy with you and Garlick. Who is this South Vietnamese boy?
Adrian Cronauer: He's a friend from my class who risked his ass to save my life.
Sgt. Major Dickerson: A friend? Well, your friend is a VC terrorist.
Adrian Cronauer: [laughs] Yeah, and my mother's a werewolf, right?
Sgt. Major Dickerson: Tuan is also known as Phan Duc To! He's currently wanted by the South Vietnamese police in connection with several bombings in the area, including the one at Jimmy Wah's. Surely you're familiar with that incident.
[pauses]
Sgt. Major Dickerson: Did you ever wonder how a young South Vietnamese boy gets into and out of VC-held territory? It's dangerous out there... things just jump out at you. And yet this boy can get in and out without a scratch. And what about Jimmy Wah's? Didn't you ever wonder why you were pulled out just moments before the whole place blew up? Or are you normally not that inquisitive?
[takes photos from desks and shows them to Cronauer]
Sgt. Major Dickerson: Friends of Phan Duc To. These three were executed shortly after this photo was taken.
[pauses]
Sgt. Major Dickerson: Your friend is next. I don't recommend that you tangle with me on this one, airman, as not too many high-ranking officers would be sympathetic to a serviceman with links to terrorists. The Army is kind of quirky that way. A conviction on a charge of treason against the United States carries with it some penalties on the stiff side, if you know what I mean. I have arranged for an honorable discharge, provided that you leave without incident.

Adrian Cronauer: [in the control room after the confrontation between the censor and Dickerson over the Jimmy Wah bombing... both are watching from outside the control room window] Good Morning, Vietnam! Hey, I know it's not the morning, but that's my trademark, and 'good evening' sounds too depressing. Hey, we're going right now to news
[orally imitates teletype]
Adrian Cronauer: From England... today, Princess Margaret threw a shoe!
[stammering]
Adrian Cronauer: Queen Elizabeth... Elizabeth Taylor! She's still married after six months! Way to go, Liz! Yay!
[bumps his head against mic in anguish]
Adrian Cronauer: RIGHT! In... in Saigon today, according to official sources, nothing actually happened. One thing that didn't officially happen was a bomb didn't officially explode at 1430 hours, unofficially destroying Jimmy Wah's cafe.
Sgt. Major Dickerson: [to censor] Get him out of there!
Adrian Cronauer: Three men were unofficially wounded, and two men whose identities are not known at this time...
Sgt. Major Dickerson: [to censor as both are trying to get into the locked studio] Break the goddamn door down!
Adrian Cronauer: ...the fire department responded, which we believe to be unofficial at this present moment...
Sgt. Major Dickerson: [bursting into engineering room and barks to engineer] Turn it off! Now!
Adrian Cronauer: I just want to think that you should...
[the VU needles rest on their pins as the console goes dark... Cronauer removes his headphones and pushes mic boom aside]